On the way back from a Mother and Toddler group I checked out one of the buses which go passed the station for when I started a new job. This was about 7 years ago.
At the bus stop this lady approached and she wanted to see Henry and started shaking him not roughly and she got a bit worried because he was zonked out, and says “Whats the matter he woke wake up” and so I applied “He’s okay just a sleep” and I didn’t get alarmed but was sad for her as she must have witness a child not waking up hence why she panicked.
She did look like she had a few too many alcoholic drinks but not knowing her I didn’t get cross and just moved on. I don’t know this lady and it is surprising how people can be having more of a bad time to worry for other people and children.
We do need to be respectful as noone knows what someones been through to be alarmed, and she did look like she had troubles and so if you see someone who is different to the norm, try not to judge because they are doing it based on their life. If they wish to talk then let them.
I didn’t feel threatened by this lady’s actions and could see the anxiety she had and we do need to stop judging people.
In this blogpost I am talking about Who would I want to be stuck in a life with, and who would I not want to be?
Well lets just say IT WOULDN’T BE JEKYLL AND HYDE that’s for sure and there is someone doing Extreme Copying and no not them either. I am not scared of either but they just would make me want to commit murder.
Now I today used my Mrs Hinch Activity book to go through different words and what I would like to practice more of so on myself, so they were Kind, Funny, Loyal, Helpful, Positive, Tidy, Friendly, Silly, Fun, Caring and Loving. It is a Journal that I had been wanting to buy for ages and finally did.
So who would I want to be stuck in life with who is Kind. Well I love Jordan Page because she is a Financial Guru and I have kind of lost track from someone who as a kid, and yes me, have become wreckless and so with her videos, have helped me to keep on track and thankfully my writing has kept me a float. She is so real and truthful in her content and find her relative and engaging that I am a huge fan of her work and miss her videos as I have kept some that I like to go back to for inspiration when I need it.
I would say to go through these words to, and also used these words to look at myself. I give myself a hard time all the time, and it can be like I am hitting myself with a mallet all of the time. The other person who would be under Kind is my friend Laura, who I have know since school and would always have her in my life and hated school just like me and was my friend since those days up to now.
Funny, it would be my new love Lee and is under Kind too. We have been seeing each other for ages but never got together as such. Yet he would see me as his Girlfriend and last year was when we got together and I am so needing to see him again. It’s been tricky due to the Lockdown and Covid.
He covers all of those words and is very much loving and has a heart of gold.
Loyal is one of the most important one to me as I have always been like that and when I am a friend with someone I am for life, unless they have been secretly been rude about me, but I will always have peoples back and when I become a fan of someone or something I will always be unless again I find out they aren’t nice at all and just appearance.
The people I would say are Loyal to me. It would be my friend Hayley whom I have known since I can remember, and we don’t see each other a lot now, do see her as my friend for life and has never turned her back on me and will always have time for.
My Virtue family, who I am so amazed with. I don’t see myself as being anything than a girl who had a different dreams to most on my housing estate I grew up on, and has followed it.
So helpful, so this again is a trait I will alway follow and do wash up, even though this has been questioned. I will open a door for someone, but do want it acknowledge. The people who don’t say thank you when I am helpful not to be anywhere near my life, as for me this shows they have no respect for others and so never have time for people like that.
In terms of someone being helpful is my man and those who I have loved since a kid, like Oprah Winfrey, as her show she did was so successful because it wasn’t all centred around her but other people and not just the rich and famous, and found her show and video content as she does speak now at many Seminars, to be helpful. I saw that this successful woman had been hurt as a kid, didn’t always feel good about herself, and didn’t mind sharing it because she knew that there would be others feeling like that too.
Of course Mrs Hinch for her Activity book which has inspired me to write this post today.
Positive. So yes I have been doing lots of work on that, because I have sometimes been pessimistic and negative at times. I struggled through life some days and I am often anxious, and just now as I continued this blog was feeling anxious and I don’t often know why and I didn’t.
Using Postivity practices like using these tools in her activity book, has helped with that. Giving myself acknowledgement is okay, as I was often left to believe that I was wrong if I ever did that, but now I do.
We can often feel that we are at fault all the time, and there will always be those that can’t wait to have a go at your for something, even if it is breathing, and so being positive about yourself and life, by focusing on what yu bring to the world and life, and doing positive things, like acts of kindness and be helpful and funny.
Tidy. Now I struggle here. I am not always tidy. I hate cleaning and I feel somewhat positive again in be truthful about that. Now please don’t take this as I am untidy and I like mess. NO. I just find it a task to often pick up a cloth and wipe a surface down or vacuum and have the tendency to put it last.
In terms of someone I would be in life with who was tidy, it would be Nigella Lawson’s for her Pantry, have Jamie Oliver’s Kitchen, Carrie Bradshaw’s walk in closet and Jennifer Addison’s Friends Wardrobe and costumes.
Friendly is another trait I have always had and is how I have met a lot of my friends. I meet one of my friend Louise through watching the Rugby team the London Broncos, and I can be someone who shy’s away from people if I don’t know a lot of people and have suffered with Social Anxiety. However I have never allowed this stop me from being friendly and approachable.
I remember being picked on at the Comedy store and so many people were coming up to me afterwards and just chatted to me and it was a night I will always remember as yes I met Lee Mack there and we had a snog, then I got rat arsed like I usually did, sang karoake and how I got home I do not know, but was a bloody good night. If you have never been to somewhere like the Comedy Store then once Lockdown moves on, go.
Silly. Yes I do practice acts of silliness and sometimes like to just be silly even in my blogs, as that is me. I was called weird as a child and yeah I suppose to many I am, but I will always say hello if you are a genuine friendly as above person, and like to use my silliness in my books as I am writing a comedy as we speak and last year when it felt like the world was tumbling down, got up to This Old House by Shaking Stevens and was mucking about and it felt bloody good. Would like to do this again sometime.
So who would I like in my life that is silly. Well again my Love Lee, but also my cat Toby who would attack me regularly. Some are saying its because he saw me as his mother, well if I do start to eat cat food then I might take myself to the vets, especially if I start to jump at someone and attack their feet.
Fun. Well I love having fun, hence why I have written this blog post today. Fun for me is taking the piss out of those who feel it necessary to put my world down, and I am going to once I get the confidence is do dancersize and Boxercise. I just want to get rid of my swollen eye I have at the moment, caused by stress and get up on my feet put on some tunes and WORK IT OUT! YEAH I HEAR YOU SAY. LETS KICK SOME ASS!
Also this blog post has made me come up with a potential heading for one of my books or use it to create a Joke Book.
The person that comes into mind that comes to fun is Davina McCall, as her fitness DVD got me working out at home and now has her own fitness/exercise site called: ownyourgoals site and it has some workouts of hers and other fitness trainers and instructors, and I buy her fitness DVD’s every year. I just need a knew DVD player because my ex would often get rid of things and the XBox that was also a DVD player was replaced by a fifty two inch TV so I couldn’t use them.
So glad that, that is over we were no offence to him, suited at all.
Caring is something again I have just naturally had. I did cry when watching the Film Rocky Two where Silvester Stillion, charactor gets beat and alway sobbed to the book and film “Puff the magic dragon” if anyone can remember those. I wear my heart on my sleeve and never going to apologise for that.
Being Caring is in you and I am glad I am subconciously like that aswell as consciously. For me the person who comes into my mind when it comes to Caring, it has got to be my two Nans. On my dad side and mums, as they help bring me up and I spent a lot of time with them. That is how I would see many of my other relatives and I loved looking out of my nans flat in Doors road as it did have a brilliant view of Southwest and even Central London, and writint this makes me feel patriotic about where I come from. They would always make it an occasion on mine and my cousins birthdays and was my influences in my childhood and growing up.
So famous people it is three. Princess Diana, The Queen and Tony Robbins. I remember as a child I was very much a royalist and Lady Diana before she became a Princess, we used to see going to work when she like me worked in a nursery in South West London, and she would embrace people like no other and broke the barrier between us normal folk which I thought I was back then and being a member of the Royal Family.
Then the Queen also. She followed on the trend from her father giving a speech every Christmas and helped families through the Second world war as many building were bombed down, including where I used to live in Peabody Estate and was a comfort to people in the UK and around the world.
The other is Tony Robbins. This man changed my way of thinking just by one, yes one video and I was hooked. Now someone who I was once with in a relationship, hence why we never worked as I did respect his opinon but why we were so different. He would call it Brain washing. Well dah, no it is not. In fact it is far from it. He just makes you see that you are seeing regret for example a complete fail and I am never going to get my dream, to yeah you can. If you keep seeing failure that is all you will see. However if you say right that didn’t work but this is what I can do next away of moving you away from thinking you have nothing else to live for to yes you have everything to live for.
Then loving. Well again I am a loving person and perhaps too much some time, but seeing life now being in my 40’s it ain’t a bad trait to have and why I have met and come to know so many people because I will talk and listen and take in what people I have come to know say to me. I loved Butlins and the guests, as they would make you feel part of their holiday and that always made my day.
So for me those that have stood out for me in that category is my Aunty and Uncles as always used to on a Saturday as a little girl hope that they would be at my nans when we used to go over to my nan skinner on a Saturday and my mum and dad friends from Chelsea including my mums bestfriend Gill and family as I would stay at their houses with my friend Hayley and her sister. We used to go on Holidays including camping with them and I loved them. Plus all of my cousins even the most annoying ones.
Plus my inlaws from my previous marriage as they still looking out for me and love them still, as they welcomed me so well, and have been very understanding that my first marriage didn’t work out, and still send me messages to say so too, and I love that.
Some more people who I haven’t mention and that is all of my Rugby League friends I came to know as thinking of them even those whom are not part of my life now gave me a lot of memories too and made me feel welcome on my first ever game and that I had been going there for ages and so have to mention my friend’s mum and dad for that Phil and Susan Jones.
So why no do the same and use these words to journal how these words in Mrs Hinch Activity book means to you, and you’ll see that you do have more to life than what you may see.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
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Hello and welcome! If you have not been following me then I am doing a series of Blogposts and Youtube videos that have Life coaching tips and information and on topics that can effect and that we need to address, to help ourselves move forward to have a better life.
Here is a playlist I have created on Youtube of my Life Coaching videos, and more will be added soon:
So this blog I am talking about How Love can save the day, because love is something that grows within you because it is a natural human instinct, and when someone is down and you don’t pass judgement or have an opinion and listen to them, that is love and means the world to a child or an adult.
We all at some point need reassurance, and just knowing that there is someone out there who loves you, is a great comfort and should be what you should try to focus on if you are having a bad time. I did a video which will be going live on Youtube on Tuesday, and it is about How to deal with events in our lives that are out of our control and if you know someone who is going through that at the moment, just send them a message to say “I just want you to know I love you and here” and those words will mean a million to them.
There are many different types of love and that is the beauty of it. You do get people who abuse it and they are the ones who use it because to them it is just a word. To me it means connection and a feeling that can be empowering and help drive us forward.
I was told by those I know who abuse it, that True Love doesn’t exist. Well funny that because yeah it does and I have found it, and it is the most comforting feeling one can ever have.
If we loved more than more hate would disappear and we would all feel more fulfilled and that we are all here for a reason. So stay strong, stay true and always know that love can conquer all.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board and Facebook page dedicated to my life coaching programme:
Well tonight once again Henry my son decided to play up and not go to bed, and sometimes as with life some unplanned events can happen which often we see is beyond our control.
That’s why sometimes it is good just to Take 5. What I mean is taking 5 minutes or so just to take a step back and breath.
This can happen when being responsible for anything in our lives, including running a business.
So what do you do?
In the end I thought go out of the room, let him play about whilst I gather myself together, got some bits I needed downstairs and bought it upstairs and took a shower, and I have to say I felt a whole lot better.
When I looked in on him afterwards he was fine again and settled in bed.
We all need sometime to just breath and take some time for ourselves to recuperate, we are living machines that constantly thinking, doing and acting, and when children don’t settle or someone is sick or some money didn’t go in as expected it can really be like “For God sake let me have a break”, so if things like Lockdown is getting under your skin take 5 and you will feel a whole lot better.
Lockdown was beyond our control and if you are having to work from home and look after children it can take its toll and you can be the one who feels like screaming.
I am sure there are parents who wish to do a runner rather than your kids during lockdown, as we look for endless things to do, which is still limited at the moment.
So if you need to take 5 do it because its the only way we can stop ourselves from going insane.
Stay safe and many thanks for reading.
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It has been a testing year so far one that I am not sure I want to remember. I have met someone new and I love them with all my heart but I am going through a marriage break up, which is still tough.
Love is a strange feeling, it can give you so much joy or sadness and I feel now that sometimes due to betrayal that some love can never be fixed and put back together again.
Life after marriage is like being on a rollercoaster that you struggle to get off, and feel like as soon as I feel everything is okay that it crashes before I know it.
So the first tip I would give, is to,
Create a new beginning. So change your mindset and see it as it time to end that chapter of your life and time to start a new one.
Let it all out, I am a believer that sometimes crying is the great healer and helps get your emotions and feelings out of your system.
Keep a journal. I love to journal and is a great way to gain perspective.
Form new relationships. Being with someone who is negative can bring you down and can make other people unhappy. Build new ones and stick with them.
Be aware of your feelings, as they do change and if you feel you no longer love someone that is time to call it a day.
Stop feeling guilty. No one likes a break up but if it isn’t working it is a signal that you need to move on, so forget the guilt and move on.
Find the courage to rebuild your life and remember to breath.
Speak to someone who can give you support in this troubled time and listens without giving an opinion.
Take care of your health and wellbeing. In a marriage break up it is important that you look after yourself rather than other people just yet. You need gain perspective listen to your feelings and be strong
Don’t use your children to point score or as a weapon. It isn’t their fault and should be listened to if they are upset
Divorce affects many people, but you have to get to know yourself again, because often when we get married and have kids we can lose our identity.
I have created a cheat sheet with the following tips above, which I hope you will find useful as you can print off to remind yourself.
Hello and welcome to today’s blog. In today’s post I am sharing How to build a fantastic team, as being a entrepreneur, life and football coach and even being a mum, you have to have a good team behind you, that you can work with.
Sorry for the cliche but there is no I in team, and it is about working together, not as individuals.
Everyone should pull their weight if not then they shouldn’t be in that particular job or they may need some further training.
When I worked at a Holiday Resort I would do 5 to 6 jobs before I did my actual job which was Trolley Running, because in order to keep a restaurant running sufficiently it has to be cleaned and set up ready for the guests to arrive for their morning and afternoon meal.
As soon as one person didn’t pull their weight it affected the team morale making others not bothered either.
You know if you have a good team because they will be smiling not miserable.
Low morale in a company can cause damage to a companies reputation, especially if they see a Manager shouting or talking down to an employee.
It is all about respect and working as one, and when everyone works well together it is a bonus and a team to be extremely proud of.
Get yourself a notebook, or a piece of card or pin board, and put everything from pictures, to articles to video clips that inspire you, as this can help with anxiety and feelings of depression.
It is good to have a focus. I want to create my inspiration board for this blog, as there are videos and stories, I have come across through Youtube and books that have inspired me and could inspire you too.
I support mental health 100% because I have had mental health problems too, and can effect anybody, whether they are a millionaire to someone living on the streets, and can effect us at any point. Sometimes it may not be for one reason, but for many reasons.
I found this video on Youtube, by Tulisa, who was part of a band called N Dubz and an X Factor judge. She shares her story and others in this documentary, of young carers who’s parents had suffered with mental health, and how it can have a growing impact on young peoples lives.
Wasn’t sure where I wanted to write this blog, but I felt I needed to add it to this site, as when we are trying to conquer our goals, the one thing that can stop us is isolation. We can often feel like we aren’t part of society and alone.
When I feel isolated the one thing I do is get out of the house and go for a walk. The worst thing you can do is to stay in doors, home alone. Getting out is important, as isolation usually means you need a new environment, and space.
Feeling isolated can lead us to feeling depressed, so getting out will help stop the cobwebs, which is what I call depressive thoughts, from emerging.
If you do get invited out, unless there is trouble getting to somewhere, take up the invite and go.
Isolation means you need to be with people, and you probably find that they too have felt isolated and alone, all they needed just like you, a friend.
If someone does talk to you, give them acknowledgement, instead of trying to ignore them.
It is so easy at times to isolate yourself especially if you are a new mum for example, but this is where meeting other mums for example, can really help. Knowing you aren’t alone in feeling like you a walking meal on tap, as from my own experience, as much as I love my son I did feel often like a walking cow.
Getting out is important for isolation and a new environment can really do the trick.
You go about your day happy as Larry, we sometimes call it, when people are content with their life, then suddenly someone barges you out of the way as if you aren’t there, you start to feel your mood change. You now feel as if someone has seen that you were having a good day, and peed all over it. “Thanks, that’s just great” you rage in your head”.
Now you feel your day is ruined. You feel there is no going back to feeling happy and you’re still playing the incident over in your head. You make it worse than what it is.
Can you get over it?
YES YOU CAN
I have been reading a book about anger because I knew it was something I needed to address. My mum says that “There is no point being angry as the only person who is angry is you”. That is true.
“That person who has bumped into you without a “Sorry” isn’t gonna care, so why should you?”
It is a waste of energy. I no I get wound up, at times, but learning to control it is the key.
Stepping away, and taking yourself out of that situation, just to reason and think about it before reacting can help put a handle on your blowing a fuse.
If we shout at the person who pushed you out of the way, what would they do?
Do you want confrontation, no I hate that. I just want the person to see that pushing me out of the way isn’t acceptable. The person is too busy wanting to rush to wherever they heading, but I am sure if they played it back, or it happened to them, they would feel differently.
Reasoning sometimes is too quick, so saying something like, “You can say excuse me and I will move out your way or careful please” so making them acknowledge what they just did is good because I am sure we have all been in a rush and not meant to but accidentally bumped into someone, the worse thing is when they don’t acknowledge it, but I am sure if you do say something, not stroppy but so they see, the majority of people would be mortified and will say sorry, if they don’t it’s their problem not yours.
They may not react in the way you want or give you the response your want, but I do feel when people do that it is subconscious, and not a conscious thing they meant to do. They’re to busy caught up in their travels, so what is the point of being angry?
They aren’t the slightest bit interested in you to let it spoil their day so why let it spoil yours.
How many of us have flown off the handle, when looking back it was minor. Me and my hubby had an argument over a plate of chips and a draw once. Writing that down seems so daft, and I still think “What was that really about?” How could it have been avoided.
Well at the time my hubby was trying to give up smoking and so was suffering with cravings, so perhaps I could have been more understanding, instead of thinking he was making a personal attack, and he had a point.
Why would I be happy to share a plate of chips but not share a draw, as we both lived there, and where we were living at the time, we wasn’t exactly spoilt for room.
Most arguments and anger can be avoided, if we took some time to breath and think about it before reacting.
At dinner times with my son, there have been many tantrums and tears, including myself wanting to throw a tantrum.
Looking back and even now if he isn’t hungry enough he will kick up a stink to sit down and eat his dinner. At nursery and in the mornings, come breakfast time he is fine with sitting up at the table.
Those moments do pass, and my tip is, is to not make a meal out of it, but try to create calm before the storm, and that can be playing some peaceful music, or get them to sit and watch a bit of TV to let them know dinner is coming and so time to settle down to eat.
I have lost the plot at times when he has kicked off wanting a tantrum of my own, so the best way is to step away and then come back even if it just for a minute, just to breath and think about.
So tips to controlling your rage;
Breath and think it, view it, counting to 10
Learn to be mindful and enjoy nature, taking yourself out of the normal everyday can really help with the everyday hustle and bustle
Think before you speak and remember that if it is second incident whilst out, the chances of you seeing the people who have caused you to rage are slim, so breath and remember the words “Not worth it”
Listen to some soft music or take yourself out of the situation
Be reasonable, you never know what someone else is going through or where they need to be going, so take reason as I am sure they didn’t mean to make you angry. No one has that attention, no one wakes up to make someone angry so try to be reasonable before reacting
Let the anger seep through, this is where breathing and being mindful can really help.
Never allow it to build up as it will be like a pressure cooker and over boil, so acknowledge, address and think it through
Never allow it to take over and journal, if these emotions of anger are getting you down and controlling your life. Anger can have a funny way of turning our minds and making things to be more than what they really are
Communicate effectively, shouting doesn’t always get your point across, so say it with stern so the person knows they have done wrong but not in an aggressive manner as it could turn
Be wise and if it is a friend who has upset you, approach with calm. Think about what to say before you say it, but do let them know they have upset you. The worse thing I have done is attacked first and thought about it afterwards. Somethings are best left unsaid until the storm blows over, but never leave it for too long as once it passes as it can be a different to when you say it at the time
Grab a cushion or a pillow and let your rage come out
Once you learn how to handle your anger and emotions then you can put them into practice of other emotional feelings, such as frustration, which can lead to feeling angry, fear and anxiety. Get in touch with your emotions and yourself will help you to feel so much better, and gain back control.
So next time you feel angry or the pressure rising, take perspective and remember it won’t last forever.