Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:
Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.
They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.
These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.
What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.
When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.
If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.
People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.
So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.
Hello and welcome! It is Monday late afternoon and I have Monday video for you to share, and this in video I talk about Events you can’t control and the things you can.
It is all about how you see things. When I have a traumatic event in my life that I couldn’t control I would automatically shut down to spend time coming to terms with and then give myself time to move on. For me it is gradual process, but what I have done that has always been the one thing that has helped me gain perspective, as that is the key, is to journal and then say, “Okay so where do i want to go now and how will I go about giving myself peace in addressing this event, so it doesn’t hurt me any more?”.
Life is about building and rebuilding as certain events we can’t control like COVID, comes into our life to turn it upside down, so it has meant that many having to work at home whilst the kids are shouting and screaming, being off school and then having to be the teacher aswell as the parent. Some people can easily adjust to this when others are left with thinking “Where do i start?”
For me it was “Okay, I will in this time spend that amount of time with Henry, so in the morning and then this amount of time to do work”. You find a way and for me it meant working and using the evenings, weekends when he would be looked after by someone else to have a break, and it is “Take one step at a time”.
Never rush in, but say “How can I deal with this and make it pain free?” So use some of the time to all of you in the family including your kids create a family meal. I do believe that Cookery should be bought back into schools, having your kids organize the grocery shopping for a change. If we aren’t have a load of picnic’s in the park, why not have one in the garden.
As I see it “You find a way of making it easy” and follow the day.
So, more blogs to come and have a good rest of the week.
many thanks for watching my videos and reading this blog,
Hello and Happy Monday! So I have been creating a series of Life Coaching videos for a programme I am doing called “Project 2021” and here is a video I did today talking about How to Develop changes into your life:
Many thanks for reading and watching and I will be back with more posts on this site this week so see you then.
Hello so if you didn’t know I am doing a Life Coaching programme called “Project 2021” where I will sharing tools and information to help you create a better life and a better year.
Part of my work as a blog writer and a youtube video creator, I do a lot of research and I have been watching many videos by Terry Savelle Foy and she does a brilliant one about 21 day challenges to introduce more positive habits into your life. Check out my latest Tea and Biscuits video talking about it which will live before this blog post, but visit my channel and it will be there: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg
So I put together a Playlist and a Pinterest board with “Project 2021” content by me and other Content Creators including celebrities included, so here is the Youtube Play list I have done:
I have also on my Pinterest created some new visions boards, one is a New Look for 2021 and another which features Fashion Look books and I also want to do a new Home Vision board, being that i will be moving very soon.
It is all about putting your dream in pictures and the one tip I was given today, by my Love Lee is that when brainstorming don’t do it like a neat line by line list, but either by a spider graph or by randoming listing ideas, because he has seen that when I do it that way I achieve it.
He also follows this method himself. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to find a man that loves you out of this world including your work. I even journalled that I hope that there would be a real true love for me still as I knew my first marriage was coming to an end.
Please see below my Pinterest site:
As it is Mothers day that I have written this blog to go out on Monday tomorrow, it is Mothers day and it is the ladies who were my grandmothers who influenced me the most and what I am going to add to my Year vision board is a picture of them both and add their beliefs and habits that have followed within me, that have helped me get to where I am today, because I did a video for my Weekend Chat video where I actually said for the first time that I am Proud of me, and that has taken a lot.
I am going to find images of when i achieved some of my dreams as a kid too, to add to help keep my positive mind and new future to help continue my growth in this world. I have learned that no matter how hard times can be you do still find good people along the way that keep you driven and focused and who your true family and friends are, as they will be there in your darkest hour.
So you keep going and try the 21 challenges idea and see what habits have helped develop your life even more.
Hello and welcome! Here is a new blog post which is going to be added to my Life Coaching Programme “Project 2021”, and this is about Get Your Life Together, so time to start making changes so you are happier and have more to your life than being confined to four walls.
Before continuing on please see my Life coaching videos I have created for this #lifecoaching programme via this link:
Not too late to make Life changes, as it is March but so what, you can make life changes all year round, and You don’t need the New Year to do it.
So my routine is one that has helped me to get enough sleep but still even with a small amount of time there is left in the day I still get stuff done. The point of working for yourself is to give yourself time to rest and recuperate and spend time on not the “Got To List” to the “What I want to do list”.
Set challenges for yourself. I do this a lot and it helps me to have a good balance, and so I tend to do this with money and see when I go grocery shopping of how much I can get under £20 and that has at the minute been my budget and use what I have, so I have not had to spend money on food for the last 3 weeks and trust me makes huge difference and when I am with my new family soon, be doing the same. Now when I move into my new home I will be increasing my budget but still be seeing where and how I can save money still. Just because you are financially secure that its an excuse to flush down to the toilet, but invest wisely.
Now I am someone that when I do sleep in I do have that “Waste of a day” guilt when it doesn’t matter what time you get up but What You Want to Get out of the Day. So the Life change I have started to apply is to Stop self punishment, as I have been so unkind to myself, that if that was someone else saying those things to me, I would tell them to leave alone and go away, so yes, #BeKind to yourself, have #selfrespect
I think we get so stuck on the New Year when it comes to making changes in our lives and feel some kind of New Year Pressure, and why we can fall, and not complete our resolutions, but I never make these, being someone who fell too. Never see it as failure as that is not right its because we are seeing a resolution being a one time thing, and not something that is long standing, so scrap resolutions and make a list of the thing you love and how wish to grow in the next years coming up. One way is to create a Career Tree, see below and an example of the one I have done, and I will add this to my Content Creators Planner I am putting together, so keep posted on details on this.
I have done a Printable of the details of how to create a Career Tree and how it works.
So to get back on track if you have lost your way a bit, that can happen sit down and spend time making notes and go through by keeping a journal which I use everyday to help find why your plans for this year have stopped as you can always get back into it.
Spring is a perfect time to make changes if not in the New Year, as that is when crops start to grow, animals come out of hibernation and give birth, and we have longer days and so don’t worry if it is passed the new year, You can’t still make a change.
Have a Pjama day. I spend my Sundays in my sweats which are also my night clothes, and it is really nice to have a day where I don’t feel I need make up, but sometimes I will and use it as my Admin Free Choice Day and I think this has been something I have done religiously going on the bible not never thought of it that way. I am a kid who on Sunday’s it was a day of a lot of shops would be closed except pubs and some restaurants and so would use this day to go and see my friends in Chelsea, watch my brother play football, play pitch ‘n’ putt at Bishops park, ride our bikes along the river and often BBC 2 would put on some old black and white films I loved and football.
So have a day where you can just do what you enjoy and some people I know don’t even get out our bed and still do work, but in bed, and when I am in my new home, very soon being doing this again too.
I also have days where I will eat something different and there is a wonderful Comedian who I do know so well “My Love” who does this, “something different on tour or on holiday that you wouldn’t have at home” and watching a documentary of this wonderful human being, I do too. ALWAYS! Why not? YOUR ARE ON HOLIDAY SO DO WHAT YOU LIKE AND as long AS noone is at harm, MAKE HOLIDAY TIME TO BE DIFFERENT TO EVERYDAY!
Then the other things is creating a good fitness routine which is a very common promise that people make to themselves including me and i am putting a new site together so I will keep you posted on this, but if you find working out hard just do it once a week, exercise whilst waiting for breakfast to cook or whilst the kettle boils. You can fit it in but Inyour own schedule not by somebodies elses, which is a common mistake.
Also to keep you fitness going each year introduce something new, to your regieme and fit in regular walking, as this is easy to do and easier to fit in and stick too. I also love doing dance workouts and boxercise exercises.
So do what you know you can stick to and if you would like to use my Goals list to set your Life changes you’d like to make then please check out my goal sheet I have created.
What you can do if you don’t want to set yearly goals set some for the day, week and month and I go through mine each month and with a vision board see my last post Creating a Vision board see if any of them have changed and often through the year update them and change, as often you can go in a different direction than the start of the year, so life is always revolving and I do live seasonally and change my life habits sometimes. There is always room in a year to start a fresh and using the different seasons in the year is a way of doing so. It is all about being current and being you still, but growing.
Here is a copy of my goals for this year on my Pinterest vision board for 2021:
So I hope you had a good week so far and see you in the next blog.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blog posts and Life coaching videos can be found on pinterest site above and on my network site:
Hello! Yes this post is a little late, but that was because I slept in, but still want to write it. If you would like to read more of my Monday Morning posts then click on this link here: Monday Morning posts
So in this blog post I am going to be talking about Toxic people and it can be contagious. Well bascially they are those who feel that they are unworthy if they don’t stamp their authority and try to control every aspect of your life and they make days a challenge because you find that you get driven in a power struggle, and start to score points over them, which they do to you.
“Their headache is worser than yours”
They begin to nip pick over everything you do, and this is a form of abuse and bullying, and then you end up having to answer for everything you say and do. They drain you out of happiness and energy because they want you to have a bad day, because they are and don’t like anything you do that makes you happy.
This can then turn on you as you begin to lose faith in people and become angry and resentful yourself. They can make you hate the world and not want to get out of bed, and make you into being like them and not who you are. Feeling like you have lost your identity can summon up toxic people and they will use even going on holiday seem like the worst thing in the world and feel as if it is hard work.
“You can never seem to get a break”
They will often guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail, and even when you try to agree with them they hold that against you, and you end up feeling like its just best to let them waggle on and don’t allow them to victimise you as this is a trait of a toxic person and you find that you have inner strength that they don’t, being the better person by standing your ground, and it is in fact a sign of weakness on their behalf, not yours.
I find that they are people who worry so much about time, and be the ones you end up leaving things to the last minute, and then they use that to attack you. Often they want you to hit them to justify their toxic behaviour and so I have learned since I was a kid to switch off, and you can do this too, just find a quiet place even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom, putting some chill out music and taking a bath.
“Noone should be bogged down because of someone elses stress”
They use their behaviour to twist and turn everything you do and say, and if you have #mentalhealth issue, they will often use this as amunition to get at you, and you can have them arrested for Victimisation on this subject and now noone is allowed to challenge you if you have a mental health issue, but then they can use this to get at you because they are that toxic they use mental health as an attacking mechanism, and they can also control you so much that they end up imprisoning you because they are frightened of you having a better life, because they blame you because they haven’t and will never be, because they use their Toxic personality to be selfish and resentful of everyone around you and drain you of being a entraupner.
“They don’t like seeing people be successful and want everyone to drown in a puddle of uncarelessness”.
So if you are surrounded with these kinds of people then,
Call for help
Noone should be drive by these types of people and be happy. Everyone deserves the life they love and not have that destroyed.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: You can read all my blogposts and videos on my site:
So as a kid growing up where we at first only had 3 channels to watch, but lucky enough to have a TV of my own which I saved my pocket money for to have one, I loved TV but we were also encouraged to read and write, to help our skills and they have been a godsend. Hence why I am now a full time writer and I love it.
If it wasn’t for TV I have no idea aswell as having a record player and a walkman, how I would have gotten through the days as a kid who hated going to school. So having CITV and CBBC, was a relief after seven hours of what was often hell, except when I was allowed to write stories, and my favourite TV time was at the weekend.
During the day on ITV it was Thames Television and on BBC 1 which was the last channel to close for the day and they would play the National Anthem, God Save The Queen.
I had no idea as I was always in bed round this time that the National Anthem ever played and I asked once if I could stay up one time just so I could listen and see it.
Way before then though it all began with Black and white films, and were silent films and the Picture Houses even before the war and would be packed full of people and there they could get the latest news and what was going on in the world. Televisions didn’t come about until the 50’s and some would have to go round to friends to watch a TV as not all households could afford them, and it was a luxury to people, like having Virtue Reality, which is starting to take over now in the modern technology world.
Silent films came over to the UK in the 1900’s and was how Laurel and Hardy made their name, as they were separate actors who did their own productions and then it was a film director who spotted them put them together and became one of the first Double Act, as one Canadian Actor/Comedian to a English born Actor/Comedian, who was one of the first to make it across the water in what was called Hollywoodland, and as they say “The Rest I History”.
Then you had the guy who sang the Dad’s Army theme tune, Bud Flanagan and he too made it across the boarder and went onto be a musician for many English, Canadian and American shows. He loved being behind the scenes like Stan Laurel and be a writer. That was the next step for many Actors and Comedians, like today with Peter Kay, Lee Mack, Kathy Burke, French and Saunders. Uncle Bark was always writing and he would take time off to sit and write through parts of the year.
Many like, Ricky Jervais actually direct and produce their own TV shows and has been a massive hit in America, and followed in the footsteps of Billy Connelly, Lee Evans, David Walliams, Matt Lucas and Peter Kay, in the fact they are a huge hit and now live over there from time to time.
In the UK we were very much about Crime, Laughter and making our own musicals and had TV shows like Top of the pops that went on until the 2000’s and I if I get to watch BBC 4 on the TV channels we have now, I will still watch it as they are repeats but was one of my favourite midweek shows. What more could you want with TV and music coming together and at 7:30pm every Thursday I would be sitting there on our settee or on the floor, and be fixated.
It was how I became so in love with music and would never miss an episode.
When it came to TV on the channels we had here in the UK, it was very much of what was the audience tastes and when films began to be in colour then more TV programmes came our way and it was very much shows, rather than dramas at first and then they became our TV loves, such as English Gangster films, and horror.
Comedians began to make tapes of shows they wrote, aswell as having a regular TV show. Cilla Black with Dusty Springfield were arch rivals according to TV producers then, as they were two of the first women artists as I like to call them, to have their own shows, and would on at the same time. I bet this was a hard choice as back then you had no video recorder or hard drive to record the other one you couldn’t watch, so what they did, they created omibuses of shows and TV programmes so you could still watch them, and BBC would often record shows on their channels so you could listen to one on the radio if you wanted to.
We were very much about slapstick comedy and America were very much about factual comedy, and both worked. It was good to have the American comedies aswell as our own and having only 3 channels at one time, it made a change to see programmes from over the boarder, and then along came the Cobbies, Dallas and Dynasty where Joan Collins was the beauty of that time, along with strong women like the lady who played Suellen.
TV did take a gradual step and did take a while to get going as radio came first, and was what many households listened to before everyone could afford a TV, but in the 60’s for UK and America, was when it came into its own, and noone wanted to go out or go to school, as little cuddly toys like his Highness Basil Brush, whom I am going to be working with soon, started to make his name, along with The Sooty show and then America it was the Muppets, and one of my favourites, Sesame Street and this was the first children’s show when a new channel was launched, Channel 4.
These were great because even now, if you grab a kids attention you’ll grab and adults and was how children’s TV started to come on American and English TV, and be a world of its own.
Then you had Bill and Ben the Flower Top men and Pinky and Perky. Children’s TV was first introduced by the BBC and is the oldest channel on UK TV, and in America they already had 5 to 6 channels and were all launched at the same time.
America though didn’t have a music show like Top Of the Pops but became a top show because they too would watch it over there and you could also listen to it via the radio still.
They thought at one point that film would be taken over, but that has never been the case it was became easier to budget when it was a TV programme rather than a film, as Films budget to make the successful had to stretch and also they would take a long time to create, and so TV was and film then formed together so both industries could still be kept alive and then, that was when Cinema took over Picture houses and they created Video tapes of shows and films and new that both would always be going.
TV was the new norm and it was great for companies to cash in to advertise products and services, and the first ever advert was Fairy Liquid and then came Bisto Gravy.
BBC needed to also make money for their TV programmes and so bought in the TV Licence, and you had to have one of these, which you still do to have even one TV in your home and if you didn’t comply with this you were fined.
Not many households had a TV in their bedrooms back then and it worked via Analogue outdoor or indoor aerial, and TV’s had an aerial attached to some of them at the back. I remember when living in Peabody, having a nightmare trying to find the best place to place the indoor aerial as it could be a nightmare to get a good picture.
If you lived in a built up area it would be a hard task to find the best reception, and TV’s would catch fire if left on all night even on standby which some TV’s had.
Then came the chat shows, and these were a highrated kind of a show, as it had many celebrities of all different genrues in one show, like in the UK Wogan, Des O’conner, Pebble mill and the most successful one Micheal Parkinson’s talk show.
Check out this link of clips from his show of Interviews:
Hello and welcome! So firstly if you have not been following my series of blogs for my programme “Project 2021” then please go to my Pinterest board which has all my recent videos and blogs, which has a lot of Life coaching tools and information. There is also new boards and sections I have created too, if you wanted to look at my other boards and pins.
So in this blog I am talking about How to not get bogged down but getting it done/Being super productive.
I firstly work with one notebook which is my main one and for me is a life saver. I did a video on one of my other sites which I write, on google and did a video about How I live in my notebook.
That is the first,
Tip 1# Find a system that makes scheduling your work simple and that can help you stick to it. I am creating a planner at the moment that I hope will help you, and will be for fello content creators.
Tip 2# If you have kids then separate your time, so when they are homeschooling give them tasks that they can do without supervision so you get work done, and spare an hour to help them and use the evenings to block time out to do your work.
When I have my dinner or do my skincare of an evening I will use this time to watch a bit of TV on BBC iPlayer for example or watch a Youtube video, and it is great to just have that time and do a bit of reading a day. This is a new habit I am Implementing at the moment and it has helped me to read a bit of a book if it is only reading one or two pages. It just good to do things that help me wind down and in the morning wake me up.
Tip 3# Batch your work. So on some days I will pre-film a few videos or put together a batch of blog posts ready to go live. It can save a huge amount and then have a “Take it easier day” and have that time to catch up on reading or watching television. Or even some cooking or go for a walk if you have been cooped up within 4 walls all week.
The other thing I try to do is the night before go through what I have done on that day and what else that needs completed, is there any overdue items not done? What is scheduled for the next day ahead?
Tip 4# Plan ahead on some days, but don’t over plan. Try to get what you still have left from the day before and then get todays list down, and make time for breaks.
Once I have my own home again, which is going to be soon in a few days it seems, I like to potter so I will be each day even though I don’t like cleaning I like to, just go around the home putting bits away, taking anything that needs to be put in a different room that hasn’t been put in its home and just go in each room, tidying and straightening out.
Tip 5# Set time to do this each day or twice a week. I find doing this helps the chaos that life can bring be stopped and get up to date with Home Projects.
So I hope these tips are helpful and I hope you have survived lockdown too, but waiting for it shift and be able to do more fun things again out of the home again.
Many thanks for reading, ‘
Carrie L.M X
P.S: Please check out my Youtube channel, as I have today uploaded a few new videos including my weekend chat video:
So to Find Stability in your life so you don’t do too much and can delegate if possible, it is good to go through the work you need to be done, and that includes the things you enjoy.
The one thing I would says is make two lists, one with the things you like doing and a list of what you don’t like doing.
As you may already know I make aswell as blogs, books, online courses and Youtube videos, so this means creating a lot from the hip and with books, blogs and even online courses involves proofreading and editing, and these are my two items I don’t always enjoy, so to make it easier or myself I will when writing a blog post edit as I go, with books just continue with writing the first draft, which I call a lot my skeleton draft and then once book is completed then I will edit, unless it is a biography type book.
I am looking forward to having some help in writing mainly my books, to have someone to proofread and edit for me, or help me with it, as I am quite protective of my work and that it is still from me, if it is a single handed piece of work. When it is shared, which some will be, then it will like a weight off my shoulders and as long as it is from both of our words then, I would pay for a editor to go through books to check the spelling and that it is easy to read and is a good written draft for publishing.
Sometimes another pair of eyes can help find the mistakes or areas of improvement when it is not you, and what is important to me is to have work that flows off the page and is easy reading.
The other thing I don’t like is cleaning, yep bottom of my list and is something I would love to delegate but will do some myself, I just would like to have a housekeeper who can change bedding as I don’t make my bed and dust. Again is bottom of the list or not even acknowledged and I can’t put a duvet cover on a duvet to save my life and it just I find a real burden. I don’t mind washing up and do find this a therapy but a help of a Dishwasher would be nice. Now that is a thing I would wish for and I can’t wait to have my own washing machine again, as my mum has been doing this for me to help and it has, but can do it like I did before when I like and do two washes a week and have a tumble dryer. I love modern day appliances. I do like to hang dry on some occasions it is just take advantage if you can on machinery to do the work for you, whilst I drink a cup of coffee without it getting cold.
However, I would like to have time with my kids and have family time. It is important to me and so would like to have them still go to school but also join a club or time with other family,. Just be who he would like. I want my children if I do have anymore to take them to Clacton where I used to go as a kid myself and gave me so many wonderful memories.
I would like to have all my work batched and done ahead of time so I can still have blogs and books published but allows me to have some time off. So I would like to continue to write a blog post and have help scheduling them, with help with filming my Youtube videos also.
That is where delegating some tasks can help. Money and my finances is one and is being looked after and this will be a weight on my shoulders and I have tried so many ways to keep on top of it, but have failed everytime.
Cooking: Well I do enjoy sometimes but do like a Takeaway and I am not afraid to admit it. I also have a sweet tooth and did go through a phase where I was baking but because where I was living the built in oven we had was changed the confidence to bake went out of the window and do like to have on occasion have someone else cook whilst I eat, yet do still want to get back into the habit once I have my own kitchen to cook food from scratch that I like to eat and I am a dinner girl.
When I do move into London, which I am so looking forward to have loads of choice of where I can get food and am looking forward to a pub lunch or meal.
So looking forward to having some stability in my life and for delegating some tasks so I can have more time doing the things I love, not over working and be able to sit back with a cup of tea watching TV or a film or youtube. Life isn’t about doing chores all of the time, but being happy content and comfy.
So many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: Thank you for much for reading my blogs and following me and I also add my blogs and videos on my network site: