It Sunday evening and I am in my bedroom and aswell as listening to a chat of Fearn Cotton and Sara Fox, and I have been challenging myself this month to sort out one area a day in my life, including my blogs and social media sites, and tomorrow I want to do each Monday a Reset, and do my laundry, Vacuum and change my bedding and have a really good morning reset to begin the week.
Yet as soon as I think of it the energy in doing these tasks, puts me off. I know I will be like, “I’ll do it once I have had my first cup of tea”, “Oh let me just watch this Youtube video and I’ll get it done”, are you the same? Comment below.
I also need to call the doctors because I have a swollen eye due to Hayfever, and has been really sore, and only just remembered that, as I write this blog post. I know I can do a reset, but especially in the morning I am going to have to really push myself to get out of the bed to do anything. Yet last week before I had my first cuppa and breakfast did a sort out of my clothes. Seeing the result made it worth it. I know I am going to be nervous about calling the doctors, because it is so hard to get an appointment and means putting other stuff off, and I don’t like bothering my doctor. Its the mindset of “It’s only a swollen eye I am sure it will go”, but who knows.
I am guilty of putting things off, example I bought Henry, my son a new pair of shorts from Sainsbury’s but they are too small and so have to take them back, but I haven’t. However I have decided to keep them and donate them, and will get my son another pair. I have learned that if I don’t take them back they will still be good for someone else to wear and done my bit for charity. So I don’t feel that bad about them not being returned.
“You’ll find ways to get it done and still see results”
I am a one bit at a time person and hate rushing. I have to stop myself from jumping in with both feet, because I get overwhelmed. It means slowing down, but a moderate pace.
Do you do reset each week or perhaps everyday? Where to you begin?
For me it has to be in eye view, and of course I am not going to vacuum as soon as I wake up, which is usually around about 5am, as I know it wouldn’t be appreciated. So it will have to be a sociable hour around 8am, or is that too early? Anyway I will get up and start once I know I am not going to disturb anyone else and get it done.
Hello this another Life Coaching video as part of my Life Coaching programme, “2022 Project”, helping you to have a happier life and a year.
To get to grips with your life, it is good to be strong and guided. This time last year I was in a Mental Health hospital and wished I had known about these places as I would have checked myself in, as like many I found the lockdowns we had, was effecting my mental health, by not being able to go out and explore, and I love walking and visiting different places, but due to Lockdown I couldn’t.
Develop your understanding of what is good in your life and why and what is not, and do you want to be good or the bad?
Never Promise if you can’t deliver, because there is such a thing as false promises and when we don’t follow through we feel failure. Doing is better than promising.
Develop a life that is personal to you. So now I am back walking again, long distances and as soon as I see people running, I feel I am not doing enough, yet walking is just as good and so don’t do things just because of other people but what will benefit you
Get in touch with your spirituality. I have had a tough nine years where I allowed my mental health dictate my life and not getting in touch with myself and so began praying again, because, for me that helps and I listen to my soul and gut rather than my heart and mind
Stop comparing. I should hold a reward for this because I am guilty as sin. I have learnt and I do what suits me and love myself, rather than looking at someone else and feel inadequate
Creating different systems. This came from watching Mel Robbins Reset, check it out, and if you want to remember something like a pair of shoes for walking, I put them out so I can slip them on and go. Being a parent I would make sure I had items I could grab and go, as hate forgetting. Sorry what was that, I said, I don’t like forgetting, so leave items in full view so I know I will remember
Create good patterns. I now make sure I set an alarm in the mornings, to make sure I have a good sleep pattern, as 4 hours sleep which I used to sleep for, did me no good and so I now go to bed between 8 and 9pm and wake up by 8:30am. I don’t have lunch until I go over to my son’s house to wait for him to return from school and stops me snacking and I love reading my book whilst travelling, as i learn a lot this way
Give back what others have given you. I do this by thanking the bus driver for taking me safely to my last stop, I will buy nice cards and presents for family and what I do need to do is remember to write thank you cards, as I always forget and so will make an effort to do this, and feeling bad from not doing so.
Get rid of anger by making changes in your life. Example hating your job, and feel you don’t connect with the people you work with. Look for a new place to work that has a better atmosphere. I had jobs like this, when working for a computer company, and there was a lot of back stabbing and felt so uncomfortable so I left, and followed my dream to work at a Holiday camp and finally got the chance, to leave my old life in London and Surrey for the south coast and was a brilliant experience.
Make yourself be heard, Staying silent never helps and so set boundaries, making it clear of what they are. and stand your ground. This is not contradicting number 9, as you can do this to prevent anger, but just sitting and talking to people and teach others to do the same. Sitting having a conversation about what upsets us, rather than a shouting match.
It is all about keeping your head held high and to realise your value, and that you have a part to play in this world just like everyone else.
So this blog is all about, How to spend time to look after yourself and get rid of the stress and anxiousness.
Spent more time looking after you, rather than other people. Self care is a must, and this can be whatever you want. I when wanting to be quiet do colouring in and you can get colouring books which helps with mindfulness and a great way to just be on your own and putting yourself first
Spend sometime putting together some family time, where you all sit down and chat. I often will spend time with my son, talking and watching the planes go over and will make a must that I check with my son how he is and if he has had a good day at school. He often doesn’t share that much, but when not prompted he will tell me. Chatting with your family can really be a good way to talk about any worries you and they may have, and send a message and arrange a time to sit and meet with family
If you are contacted by someone you don’t want to see, but you feel that you should, take time to have space and like above chat with them about it. If they don’t want to listen then you can decide if they are good in your life or aren’t
Keep a notebook where you can practice Affirmations. This has helped me a lot, because looking back I have been so hard on myself and felt like it is me against the world, but not the case, its all about what you can bring to the table and remember that you were born into this world so you are part of it. Again if there is something that triggers bad thoughts argue with it by practicing Affirmations
Give yourself some time explore. This morning as I write this blog, my son and I went for a walk and got rid of my fatigue and had a good amount of energy and so now we are going to do this each weekend. I also make space to work and explore in the week too. It doesn’t have to be fast but taking time to be with your own mind and really gets rid of cobwebs
Life is about building your life for happier times and doesn’t have to be done all in one go, but taking your time and listen to your mind and body, and you soon know what changes in your life needing to change, like taking your time to have a better mindset and time.
If there are things in our life that has not worked out, it doesn’t mean your life is over, it means it wasn’t meant to be. We can often feel like a failure, and beat ourselves over the head with it, example, starting a new job and you realise it isn’t what you thought and the format is not for you.
All experiences in our lives count to us growing and finding the job that is what you have been looking for. I want to work in childcare and so I have been trying different ways I can work within this industry to find the role that matches the one I want. It is good to have direction and trying different routes, but keeping in mind the expectations you have, to find the one that makes you feel like “Yes this is my dream” and makes you excited each day. Its not good if you dread it, because it can effect your wellbeing.
If it isn’t the right job then it is fine. Noone’s going to blame you for trying. Life is full of choices and we all in our lives will take a different turn.
You should never give up, but keep moving on and get on with it. Stop the worry, the analysing and the guilt, but put it down to life. It is all about choices and finding what works and what doesn’t.
If you allow life to be hard work it is going to be. If you keep giving yourself a hard time, then ask yourself “Do you want to be doing this all your life?” It can be draining, and so beating yourself up is sole destroying that doesn’t help, so getting rid of those feelings will help you breath and take stock of where your life is heading and set goals and trying new habits is the key to carrying on and letting go.
I am a mother, I am an Aunty, I am a sister, daughter and a cousin, and there have been many women whom have inspired me through my life.
Sandy one of my Playgroup Leaders that ran in Hammersmith and she still is in my heart along with another lady called Sue, who made me dinner once when my brother dislocated his arm playing football and would always be at the Fulham Recreation Ground, to watch like my mum, her son play football and never missed a game.
Sandy who today, is no longer in this world, but along with Sue, who lived in my estate aswell, were ladies I inspired me a lot and had time for everyone who attended playgroup.
Sylvia Dale, my Ballet and Tap instructor, who would gave up part of her home as a dancing studio and would put on amazing shows, every year and always were brilliant to be part of.
Connie and Sheila, two ladies who helped me to do Ballroom, Latin and Disco dancing, on a Saturday, after finishing tap and ballet, and taught us one by one who attended the dancing school, and helped us kids, make up dances too, and choreographed brilliant dancing routines and was there until I was 16 years old and still visit in my dreams.
My Aunties who have helped bring me up and loved having a lot of them in my life, and would never forget anyone at Christmas and or at Easter too, and loved it when as a family when we would, all come together and I love having so many happy memories, of those times along with my female cousins.
My two nans, Nanny Skinner and Nanny Rose, and were proper nans to me and were a massive influence as a kid who I would dance in the living room with and learn how to play cards and knit, and would have homemade food and would go on many shopping trips, aswell as meeting other friends and family.
Female Comedians, French and Saunders for their funny sketches and TV shows they did together and separately, Joan Rivers for her controversial gags and adult women humour, and never stopped working always working to make people laugh and cry with laughter.
Sports women, like Sally Gunnell, Fatima Whitbread, Martina Navratilova, and Zola Bud.
Actresses, like Joan Collins, Jenifer Aniston, Doris Day and Judy Garland. I loved old films and TV, and thankfully still alive today and growing even stronger, and influenced me as a woman myself.
Then there are singers, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick and Juice Newton who I most recently remembered songs, as she was, which I forget was my early influences as a kid who’s parents loved music aswell.
And I could go on and on, but honestly there are so many influential women out there still today and my favourite life coaching speaker, Mel Robbins and I listen and watch her videos every day.
So, I would like to see comments, of as women who inspired you and had a influence on your life too. You can leave a comment below.
Thank you for everyone who loves these blogs and given me feedback, it really means the world to me, and gives me a push to write more and inspired you too.
I think it is important to have time for ourselves because when we don’t we can feel worn out. Thursdays I am always extra tired and it is not because I have issues sleeping because I haven’t, its because I try to do too much and I travel a lot and so it takes its toll.
I make sure that I have days where I don’t put anything onto my skin, I make sure I keep my hair healthy by wearing a shower cap and my body, by taking supplements to help me, and I have a good routine now that if I need extra rest I take it and then Friday I am fine, back to feeling human again.
I try and take my time, as I hate the mad rush and I do this by having a cup tea or a coffee really helps. I hate being later for anything, and I find being regularly late is disrespectful, as it seems like that person doesn’t really care, and promised after 20 years of being late, to finally be on time.
It is often “I will always be late” attitude “But that’s me” and I feel like well “Sorry for waiting for 3 hours for you to show your face, but that’s just me”.
If you can’t make it or gonna be late, let the person know, but if you keep letting them be late, then that is not helping them. I hate for people to think I am unreliable, that “She’s always late”. When I have been late I learn from it, as it often was because I would be lost. I have no sense direction, but I never seen that as “That’s the way I am”, I made sure I have planned on how to get there and that person I have called to meet me outside and take down the directions ahead of time.
I have not always been reliable and I have taken days off from working because I just didn’t feel like going in and because I went out the night before, but never made me feel good. So I learned that if I want to be seen as being reliable I have to lighten up and just do that.
Taking time to be with yourself is important and I have booked holidays when working, and not gonna anywhere as such but to have a break and time for myself. I would when I took up running, had set time on a day off to do so, if I couldn’t do any in the week when working, and its just making time to be you and the world, gone up to London to run, and setting a date with myself. It makes such a difference.
So give yourself a break and this valentines give yourself love aswell as others.
Many thanks for reading,
P.S: Please check out these links for my other blog sites, social media and am on social media too, and have written books on amazon.com under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes:
There will always be events in our lives we have no control over like today in London there was a bus crash and I travel by bus most days, and it questions “Is life worth living when it can be soon be taken?”
I watched a video of Meat Loaf his last ones he made before he died, and in it he was already planning his future and see that even when life can be fragile it can also be a huge lift of “I need to live my life now”
Often we can feel like the world is on our shoulders and that there is no where to go that will lift you out of the feeling of “Is this really my life?” and so we get stuck in that bubble, but you can feel good about your life by making gradual steps, like changing your daily routine and get away from the norm that comes to life.
I remember once when it was my friends birthday and was on a Tuesday, but we met knowing we had work the next day, but we got into a huddle and went clubbing and was such a good night, so doing something to your norm can bring back the life in you. The next day after that Tuesday though, I didn’t go into work and slept in, which I would not promote, but doing the everyday routine can bring us down, and wanting a bit of a change from what you do every single day can make a huge difference to your wellness and health, in terms of how you wake up the next day and want to have more days and nights to do one thing different that you don’t always do. Like when I was up in London would arrange a meet up with friends last minute and staying over at a friends afterwards unplanned.
Never stop planning life and if you fancy meeting someone for an afternoon tea for example then save up, set a date and contact to see who will be able to go with you and have that luxury. It is something I really want to do again and so going to schedule it for it to happen.
I am really want to go and watch a football match again, with my son and have it in my planner on OneNote to have this booked and wanted to take Henry to another show and we are, we are going to see a play about the Gingerman at the Polka Theatre who do a lot of shows for kids and would recommend, oh I am not sponsored them but if someone who works there would like me to, I would say yes definitely.
Life can be full of surprises and if you are fed up in doing the same thing over and over again it can be boring and that is where it can lead you to feel negative about life. I love having things to look forward and it breaks up the days and weeks to come.
I write blogs everyweek and many things planned. If you like to see my first Newsletter I did starting this month, please click the file linked below:
I also have three Youtube channels and you kind find a lot of my content on Pinterest, plus I am on social media and so see all the links below, and I have written many books and these can be found on Amazon.com under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I was all about this at one point if you have read my previous blogs and I still follow this in parts of my life but often would suffer with burn out so for me to get stuff done also means to leave enough time for myself and I still “Stay on track” and create and and plan.
I am not over pushing myself too much yet I am ticking a lot more things off than before and setting time to recharge is important too so I have time where I will do skincare and getting other things done at the weekend that I can’t do in the week. Example entertaining my son and taking him swimming and when not raining walking through or playing in the park and making the most of the time I have with my boy and letting him play aswell as learn.
I do write a parenting blog if you’d like to check this out, go to:
Self care is so important for your wellbeing and to keep in touch with yourself, like now soon once I have had my dinner and finish this blog I am going to have a shower and get ready for tomorrow. I go to bed at a reasonable time which for me is between 8 to 10pm and good sleep is more important to me now as before I would put up with not sleeping well.
I take my time as I don’t like rushing and having a functional space makes a huge difference and now some days I have to get up at 5am I need items I can grab and then go, have my lists ready and have my times set.
So getting ahead is good but not essential all of the time, but managing your time so you have selfish days just for you is important aswell as writing all of the time.
If you would like to read more content on this site them remember to follow and I do have youtube channels too see links below:
I have just watched a TV programme about a mother called Anne, who faught for justice over the losing her son at Hillsborough in 1989 and I remember seeing this tragic event happen, when at my nans and thought that my cousin had gone. In the progamme she fights with other Liverpool supporters who also lost love ones too, protest to have the case reopened to get the verdict she and the other families wanted, which was unlawfully killed. Ninety seven supporters were crushed to death and the blame was put onto the Liverpool fans, when actually it was the football ground and the Police on that day.
It inspired me to write this blog because in order have actions taken in your life it is good to find those people who can help you and give you full support. We are all allowed to fight our corner and speak out and should never be shut down by anyone.
Have you ever had a time where you have chatted away about something then got blanked and that person then turns to talk to someone else or completley changed the subject? It can be so annoying and you feel unworthy of speaking and so when it comes to life to help build it, it is good to find good amount of human support by the right people that can help you, but not knock you down, and don’t turn their back on you.
They may put up a defence towards what you want to do or talk about more to protect you, but will support you in the end.
If they just don’t want to listen, then they aren’t worthy of your attention either as I see it and find those who won’t do that. They can be easily found, it can be finding a network of people that do what you do and have the same mindset, it can be someone you work with, a friend of a friend or someone who has randomly spoken to you without them worrying who you are.
You want people who won’t trash over your success and your dreams and ask if they can help and still allow you to be in charge of it, but thankful that they have offered. It means they will do whatever you want with good intentions and not destroy it.