Category Archives: Weekly posts

How to deal with loneliness and have more belonging

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Posted by in Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this blog post and of my other blogs I write, https://carresversitilefashion.wordpress.com and https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

So can you believe that loneliness can be different to people? it can and I have learned that it is as a kid I felt I didn’t belong and was scared of rejection, but its because I am a naturally social person depending on where I am and who with. As a kid I could not see it and felt very lonely and was told by many that I live in a world of my own.

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I was not sure of these words but in funny way I did see it as a compliment as it made me see early “I was my own person” and now glad I was different.

Being different to others is okay, its how to present yourself and many people who feel loneliness its because they don’t have the right people around them to feel fulfilled and we are naturally all social creatures, yet I have suffered with social anxiety. That can be lonely right there, and you feel that only you can see it yet they can’t and think I am unsocialable.

When I write this it makes me ask, does this sound strange? Perhaps but it is true, I do feed off from other people and if someone wants to talk to me, I do and not judge them. I loved it as a kid we would go on holiday with other families the area I spent my life as a child and loved them, and would go camping with them too. I loved this community of people and wish they were still in my life.

We can be lonely when we feel unwanted in a family and often its the excuse, “Well they are family” yet should we feel left out? I settle and get to feel comfort by giving people space, but let them see I am here if they want to talk to me. If I don’t like someone I do stay back and don’t engage, or if I feel wary of them and often let them approach me if they want to, or not.

It is all about setting, and if you feel self conscious around some people that can then make you want to go elsewhere or they pretend that they haven’t been out all day without you and then tell you as you believe that they just met, yet was a cock and ball story, knowing that you both know the truth. I am someone who basically sees it as, “If you want me as a friend that’s fine but don’t pretend that you do”. Every human can feel lonely event those that have lots of cash and no where to go.

With lonely comes honesty and often people want you to feel lonely because they think its gonna make you want them around, yet you don’t want them and it can be tough to let people go, but sometimes you just have to, to get beyond he loneliness.

Being lonely isn’t an attack on someone it is a feeling and about wanting to be part of a world you feel you aren’t. Give time to those who really care not those that don’t. Listen to good music, videos and podcasts or even an audiobook, that makes you feel loved and that there is magic in those that can give you a lift and since sociallising on the net I have neverr looked back and thanks to modern technology I have now kept in touch with all the friends I have and it is a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Inspiring stories: Family artists and bands of our history of music

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Inspiring stories, People, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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This blog is all dedicated to my love of Music and as I write it I just tweeted a song of Andy Gibb, called “I just want to be your everything” and Beegees “Secret Love”.

Bee Gees - Wikipedia
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I loved family bands from a kid and yet their songs are still so current and people remember the names of those in the band and every song they wrote and I always would image me being part of them. I don’t think me and brother would have formed as a band as we are totally different and we argued no lie everyday and had fights a lot as kids, and so glad we never, but doesn’t mean I never dreamed of this being possible and yet often there would be rivalry in family bands, learning about them now I am older and can understand why that was.

This is blog though is not to talk about that side of things because I want this blog to celebrate family bands and about the songs they made and the success they still have today.

So the first one for me was Five Star, and then in the 1987 was when I first discovered the Bee Gees “You win again” and lucky I had a dad who then introduced me to Saturday night fever as this was played a lot in my home and I loved the dance moves and I still listen to Five Star my favourite one being “System Addict” and “Rain or Shine” and had their single records and cassette tapes.

Then there was the Nolans who were a group of sisters who were massive back in the 70′ and 80s and still going but due to Cancer, Bernie lost her life and two others, Linda and Anne are fighting it too, but still household names and were like a normal set of siblings who made it big time in music and still have performed in recent years at the London Palladium. Then of course the Osmonds and including their sister, Marie became stars along with the Jackson 5 and I again I have been to discos whrere their music was playing and everyone was always up dancing to their everlasting music.

I first heard of the Nolans when I would go to a holiday camp in clacton as a small child and I would listen to “I’m the mood for dancing” all day sometimes as my dad loved this song too and I even have the 90’s remix version of the song in cassette and so when my dad would be out I would sneck in the living room to play some of his music too, including this song.

Now it is the 2000’s there aren’t any that I know of, of current family bands and wonder if there will be again a family band in music or has this trend gone now?

Only the world can decide that and I miss a family band and I know there have been family trying to make it big on shows like The Voice, X-Factor and Britains Got Talent, but yet not really made it.

So lets hope that soon there will be a new set of family groups, but still keeping in our minds those that are still alive and well and their music has lived on for longevity and rarely “One hit wonders”. Hence why I love them still today.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! I am going to make sure I blog once or twice a week on this site, but with the school run, not be possible and so if you have been waiting for a new blog on this site, I apologise.

So topic of blog. How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

How many of us have had this experience?

I know it can be a never ending battle, but if they aren’t willing to see things on your point of view, often they never will, so the ball is still in your court on that.

How important is it to have these people still in your life? You need to ask, as can you move away from them?

That is not always possible, but actions can speak wonders.

What do they bring you when you see them? There are people who can be super jealous which leads them to resent everything you say and just want to argue and what they seeing is that. You being happy reflects on them, when no they just using you as an excuse so if they don’t want to hear you, then don’t give them the time. Say to them “If you aren’t willing to listen then we can’t carry on as me being here is not making you happy and you want me to be, so lets talk or move on” this way you are still giving them choice without taking full control over them, but gives them something to think about.

I hate it when it feels like a tug of war, as then I end up not wanting to speak to them and there story has to be worse than yours and it becomes a battle of “Who’s story is the most important” and it should be equal. They listen to you and you listen to them.

Are we made on this planet to get on with everyone? In an ideal world perhaps but not realistically impossible, but you can still be polite rather than hostile and just keeping distant if you can’t move away from them completely.

So what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Last day/Wiping the slate clean

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Posted by in career building, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

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So to wipe the slate clean you have had to have a dilemma at some point, and argument with someone for example and because you can’t agree doesn’t have to be full blown argument, yet you want to say “Okay we can’t agree so I can’t meet you in the middle, but lets just say how we feel and l;eave it at that”, but often it can become more.

Often it can be about our passed and how you felt for each other, constant negativity, yet wiping the slate clean is to forget and forgive.

WE CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE OR BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE, BUT STILL BE RESPECTFUL, AND WHAT YOU DISH OUT IS WHAT YOU’LL RECEIVE BACK!

You go through who was it that started the argument? You go home and feel like slamming every door in the house, yet not resolved and you go through and througjh some more, and turning very angry that it arupts into spitefulness and pointing at every issue you have about them and they do the same, but after time can be fixed.

Often we just need a breather and time to reflect on how we feel about someone.

So if you are going through a break up do you wish to argue with this person everyday and be resentful all your life?

No! As if you never agree and it turns into attacking them and you, aren’t we all worth the time and effort to see if it can be over and return to being polite and civil? Yes it can.

Often we need to withdraw ourselves and be the first to make immense with that person rather than holding a constant grudge.

Does it depend on what they did?

Yes! It is all about giving chances and sitting down having a chat with them, and you can come to the poiint that you are laughing, but if staff towards you again to begin the argument again, it is then, you’ve given them a chance, now it is time to walk away.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to our selves

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Posted by in Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hwllo! I created my first video for my Summer Project 2021 so if you want to check this out then follow this link: Summer Project video.

https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

This blog is about Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to ourselves.

If we see good in us we see good in other people and you should spend time working on yourself.

Life can feel ike a long life sentence when we can’t stop giving ourselves a hard time, going throgh the problem you have with yourself? What really is bothering you?

You need to face it head on, look in the mirror and really observe yourself and then go though your life. Create something new into your life and going through the successes you had through your life, already. This is a great way to see, that you are worth thinking about and find photos of you and others that bring you happpiness and any photos of memories that is a cause of why you don’t feel good about yourself.

Is it due to a person, or bad habit, an addiction or you just don’t like what you see, when you look at yourself?

For me it was the latter I didn’t like looking at myself or hear my own voice. I would often hide away because of it and reallly demolish what I saw.

Yet if someone was saying those things to you, you wouldn’t stand for, so #BeKind to yourself, and see that everyone has qualities and be sponetanous.

Have an evening painting your nails, spend time rearranging you wardrobel and take pictures of different outfits you can create from your collection of clothes. treat yourself to having a new set of items to add, and change it up. Declutering is great, as it good chance to see what would help you look good in the mirror, if it is physical and have fun.

Example today as I write this blog I have the house to myself, so I decided to have a shower in the afternoon that I rarely have and put some indoor clothes on and so feel chilled and good about me, for a change.

Doing the same thing everyday can get on anyones nerves.

Create like I have to help with my confidence, a photobook via google of selfies to see when I don’t feel good to look so I do.

So be your admirer and will help you feel better and help you to love life rather than loath and give yourself credit.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Can your family history and your own history dictate your future?

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Posted by in Creating new traditions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

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Summer times for me as a kid was getting out even when it rained to different places and meet different people and my holidays as a kid were full of having fun and long lasting memories. Now I trying to do the same for my son and other children that I may have, and I do like have a happy journal and try to keep those memories going, and one day the can read to look back themselves.

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I think your family history can have a massive input on how you are when becoming an adult, and I loved going on holiday with a lot of families it made them extra special and it introduced different cultures and socialising.

When it comes to history it can dictate your future as you find that you are forever learning and it is good to have things you learned as a kid into your world as aduilt, like for example, working in a Holiday Camp, as my first holidays were spent in Clacton and it has influenced me to wanting to holiday again and would love to go on a holiday and rent a cabin.

I come from a huge family and loved it when I saw my relatives and looking back on the Christmases we had, sorry about mentioning the C word only being Auigust and near to Setpember, made me want to have similar Christmases and do all the things I have dreamed of doing. My nan loved it when we, my family all got together and was very family orientated.

My nan was very good at looking after people, and for me along with my Nanny rose were proper grandparents and I still love horse racing and have gone to see it as a kid and would love to do this again, and my one dream since a kid was to go to a ladies day meeting, and dress up.

So family history can definitely dictate the future, but of the good things to make more good things in your life today and the future and learn from the bad to not make the same mistakes as want others have made and yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Dealing with Summer Holiday Blues

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Posted by in Freedom, Personal Development, Related pages, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

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First of all, I checked my responses on my blogs and am blown away as the likes you give for my blogs and follows, means the world to me, so Thank you so much.

Summer this year has not been great, and I think we all could say in the UK, of thank God places have started to reopen after Lockdown and seeing how the world has come together to talk about it, shows that there are great people in this world, and not being able to travel due to COVID, has made us crave a holiday.

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Yet many of us have not and this can give you the blues. I am desperate for a holiday, and so I have been taking my son out a lot, and when I haven’t sat on a bench in the park to read and enjoy watching the world go by.

I find that by getting out is a relief and sitting watching some TV that I don’t always do, a real stress reliever and making me happy for these things.

Seeing and having fun with my son has helped, as when he moaned about going to the park, when he saw there was a water fountain he can play in bought a big smile, and that for me is what clears my blues.

I do dream of flying somewhere yet not happened and I do get that feeling of “Oh just a dream, oh I wish it would come true”.

What I would like to do is book a hotel in London and visit places up there to get a break. I am a city girl and thought at one time I had outgrown it, but then would have dreams about travelling to London as I missed the easinesss of doing that, and I love my city.

You can’t beat the London life and so I do like to visit and go to places a lot, and it does make a whole difference when its no longer summer and like this week coming making the most of the last weeks of summer to head into the Autumn and Winter.

So how to you deal with the Summer Blues? I’d love to hear and you can do this by commenting below.

I do more content on my Youtube channel linkd below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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So first of all I today did a video talking Expectations in a regular video I do talking about The Truth Of Growing up, and so check out if you wish too.

Expectations are always going to be there from other people and from yourself too, but it should be on your terms, and what I mean by that is that often others can expect too much, and should be what will help you individually to raise the bar and be done gradually.

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I am someone who jumps into something with both feet, when I would go to dancing school, when I first began working and even when I would write books as a kid, expected my first book I wrote as an adult, would it be well received, yet reading it back, some details were in correct as when you have a child you do get baby brain, but it was telling my story of a first time mother and the things that I never knew about until I became a parent. If you would like to check out my books The Parenting Adventures under may married name then they are available from Amazon (name Carrie Challoner) as I now use my maiden, Carrie Holmes or Carrie Lee Holmes.

When you get married everyone expects you to be already planning to have kids, yet its not a fairy story, it is real life and I am glad I never rushed into marriage as it was four years later and that I got married and then it was a while until I had my son Henry. Me and Henry, My son’s dad have split and we been together a long time, but we still make sure that Henry sees us both.

With all relationships there is an expectation from you and them, to be on the same page and terms, and that they are there to hold your hand and listen and want to see you to wind down and to catch up of what of how they have been and the same for you. Yet friendships can then be tested by others who get resentful and that it is a tug of war, where that person then says “Who is your bestest friend” and this continues from experience to adult age and you think not, but true.

Again if they expect you to meet you when it suits them, then is this a expectation of “Your here to see me not you” and that is where the expectation is impossible to reach, due to other things in your life. Friendship is a two way street and be fair.

So you raise the expectations not them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Keeping Your Head Above the water/Some People are interested in you, others aren’t

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Printables, Related pages, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! If you would like to see the videos I have done so far on this new Project then here is a link to this and other content can be found there too:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I have created a new printable for you to go through making changes and write about your current situation:

my-next-printable-for-my-summer-project-2021-creating-big-dreamsDownload

We can often feel pushed down where we feel we are drowning and trying to hang on to stop, take a moment and then continue on. There can be resentment and jealousy towards you, and sorry to say this, but these sorts of people will always be around but it doesn’t mean you can’t raise your voice and let them know that it isn’t gonna make you stop, but fight on.

Never allow others shoot you down. You have the right to speak aswell as them, and cut them off.

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There are people who want to keep you floating and have no real time for you, only when it suits them, and others will join you, as they are interested in you and you find that this person is on the same wave length and you feel “Yes, this person gets me lets stay in contact”.

Keep your head above the water, and give yourself good acknowledgement and take time writing down why you are you, the things that have made you into a good person, and who has bought out the worst in you.

Noone wants to feel they are trapped and this is how you get out it.

  • Who’s more important to you?
  • What are you about?
  • Do you need to be there?
  • Can you move on?

Being in the wrong environment, and always being wrong, is hard but I have a mechanism that has taken me to better places and there is always a way out.

I once never believed to be true, but it is.

What I do is I will take notes in my head of what they are doing, but don’t take any notice. They dribble, I talk.

We need to dictate ourselves and not be others bec and call. Those people will never change, but you can.

So keep head above and affirmations are a great tool, and can be done in many ways, just tell yourself “You are worth it and you can go for it”.

Never settle for convenince but by what gets you out of the water onto land, and set rules for you and for people to see, you aren’t their admire as they want you to think, but you are with yourself.

Don’t give them to the time to if they want to knock you done and say “Thank you, but I know what I want and I will live my life as I wish too”

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Managing Worry So they stop and are addressed to put them to rest

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Some people like summer but others don’t. A day can feel like a drag as theire is bound to be people looking and talking about their Summer Holidays and yet it is making you envious and “Why can’t I have time off”. Well you can and no matter what you do as a living, we all need that break to recharge ourselves and have time sitting in the sun, with a Cocktail and not worry about rushing to be anywhere.

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Managing the mind is important and to start, think about all the list of worries you have. I used to worry a lot and I would feel drained of the worry that surrounded me. Example: When pregnant with my son Henry, it was watching a section on the TV about how they forgot their children somewhere and that then started alarm bells, of “What if I did that, I’d feel terrible” and it did make me alert and so I always kept a hand on the pushchair, yet it was fine and often would put 2 and 2 together and making 14 out of it.

Even now I worry as a parent, and I think it automatically comes into your minds of all the things to worry about and I see as a forever playlist that you want to turn off, but there is no switch that can do that.

So go over your worries, and then as I did, go through how you can make sure that what you are worrying about doesn’t happen and it turns out ok. Example you worry about spiders coming into the home. Well firstly, How many spiders have you found in your home? and I know people will argue overt this, but for me it did work, and that is collect a load of concores and put them by the window and in the bathroom.

The best time is as soon as it hits autumn as spiders come into homes to seek warmth and not really to scare. So have concored to the ready, but as thy can go corrode, so when Autumn is over with winter, through them away.

It is important to go over the fears and address them as said above, but also ask “DO I WANT TO WORRY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?”

Take charge of situations that worry you and what I have often down is created A PRO’s and Con’s list of all the things that can go wrong, MY CONS and right my PRO’s.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X