Category Archives: Friendships and relationships

Life Coaching/Mental Health/Different forms/It should never hold you back

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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Hello so I am taking a break from my videos as I have done quite a few and don’t want to bombard you with with anymore and what to give you time to catch up. Here is a link to my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

When it comes to #mentalhealth there are different forms and I really do not get the Mentle health act, because I think for me that sounds like its some how wrong to have mental health issues, but why “Aren’t we allow to feel, think and be who we want to be”. We are not criminals we are people who find life often a struggle to many who seem to make their bed everyday, and go jogging with the inner voice telling you “No leave it until tomrrow” and have success over success,

The Scientific Underpinnings and Impacts of Shame - Scientific American

To me this is why people don’t want to talk about Mental Health because in some way we’re seen as Second Class Citizens and not worthy of happiness, when this is all we want. WE WANT TO BE HAPPY! Do you think we want to be completely depressed, do you really think we want to feel, that we aren’t worthy for feeling like we have no place in this world any more? Its about Support and being able to express ourselves and this is why I am supporting Mind,org to stop it being criminalised to have Mental Health issues.

I am on top of the world and haven’t felt so good in all of my life, as I can now say “I like me and I am happy to be me” and that is not hitting out on anyone its just I often found it hard to be me cause I struggled with self image, and all do is try to do the right thing and this then happens to be wrong. I have come out of the otherside in terms of Mental Health, and I am glad to now have the time to re-address my life more and keep forever building and that, is what it is all about.

So the different forms. You have BiPolar, Anxiety, Anxiousness, Depression and PTSD. They are the main ones, but they aren’t want you are born with, but because of a cause. Like a Trauma, a loss of someone and being continually told “You aren’t good enough”. It is a form of Mind Management, because with mental health once you learn about it, you know the triggers and the how to deal with certain events and emotions to manage it.

When it comes to feeling good in your mind that is what we want to achieve, when we want help and support with our Mental health, and there is those who just need to be away from their current surroundings and be heard. They want to know that there are people on their side, and so if you have a mental health problem. never allow it to hold you back and use it to make you stronger.

I am never going to stop living as we all have a right to live and breath. So, make a promise to yourself today, and you can do this by writing a Personal Profile,, a mission statement about yourself or a letter to yourself. I wrote down some rules for myself, that I wasn’t going to allow anyone to stop me from living, stop me from doing good things for people and being happy and in love.

There is a law in Mental health, in that it should never be challenged, yet it still is, and so I do think the laws in terms of mental health should be changed.

I am someone who is particular about who I will talk to and who I won’t and I am never disrespectful, its that I do hold my guard up at times, for protection and to never get into someone especially with mental health problmes in their personal space because that is what they fear, the most and I do. Being bullied has been part of that and so, I will often wait until someone talks to me, as I am someone who often does want to be out of the way, but not isolated, but to allow other people space and myself and if people want to talk to you they will.

I never ignore anyone, I acknowledge as this like me is important as I myself do not like it when someone knows you are there but they pretend your not, and found it hard with my ex-husband when he would bump into someone he worked with and like at the beginning he would introduce me, and then stopped but would introduce my little boy, which was good, but it was like “Hello I’m here too” and you know when that starts it is a sign that, perhaps either work this out which I did as I, often go straight to “Oh well it must be me” and no.

I don’t blame him at all, and I would like to think he feels the same, it just makes you see when you address it without getting angry like before, you in mind have learned to help your mental health and see things without shouting or crying. So #letsworktogether and lets help support and raise awareness of mental health.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday blog/Monday Video/Life coaching vid/Difference between a Pretender & someone who is real

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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We can often be mislead by people thinking they are good, unfortunately it can be those who pretend, use being nice as a cover to disguise who they really are. Then there is the person who vents, but they smile at you and they are naturally nice to people because they often don’t see what an amazing person they are, and they will without question embrace the fact you have got a personalised card for someone, and they don’t get begrudging over it, and then they get an even bigger card, the pretender will disguise their jealousy but a lot of it, is you can read it from their body language and eyes.

Pretenders will pretend to be the victim when they are being told about what they are doing is wrong, by saying how they have missed out, when a real person will take it on board, address it and apologise. When pretenders see someone being cross at someone else, they will intervene and usually take the person having a go and someone, side to then feel superior because that person that is being shouted out, is less of a person then that pretender and they get off on someone who is being told they aren’t good enough, and pretenders love seeing people fail.

I have had those feelings, but I have stopped them because I never want to be a pretender but be real.

Have a wonderful week ahead.

Carrie L.M X

Life Coaching/Manipulative People/Gain control/Give them Control/Be on guard

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:

Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.

They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.

These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.

What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.

When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.

If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.

People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.

So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.

#letworktogther to be happy and have a wonderful Wednesday.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

When Bestfriends Damage your Health physically and Mentally

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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So, I did a blog about how Bestfriends can help your health, but what happens when a friend turns out to be an enemy and can damage our health physically and mentally.

When I become a friend of someone I become a friend for life, and so for me the relationship of friendship is important to me and what I see in a friend is someone who loves your company like you to with them, and have many things in common.

If they start to make snidy comments, start excluding you from nights out and use you to be friends with other people then blank you, it can then develop into not feeling like you don’t belong, to feeling of self-worth and that you in someway have upset them but you don’t know why. With friendships if I feel it is starting to turn I keep away and will further the gap between them.

1# Have some guard up and don’t be so trusting

They will comeback and be all nice again, yet as soon as another friend turns up they partner with them to then push you out of the way.

In this instants for me I tend to leave them be and say “They’ll soon come back and if there is another friend I can talk to, then I do”.

2# Never see is as it is you, because it isn’t it is them.

Friends can make you worry about certain things that you didn’t before like you body image and that like i experienced i was told by a girl at school that i was boring about talkng about my favourite TV show The Bill and that i would talk about my holiday to America.

It did hit a nerve, but I did lose all respect by those that was also part of that, and that person who said this to me started talking about The Bill and so it was okay for her, but no for me.

3# When you see triggers like this, its time to move away and keep your boundaries and let them know what your boundaries are

Friends because they are you friends see it as an excuse to be unkind, but it is also the gut instinct to say “No I am not feeling this friendship now its time to move away”.

Please never fear there are always other friendships.

You can become Socially awkward and go back into the shell you once lived in and hid. You can start to have Social Anxiety because you feel in adequant around friends who make you feel this way.

4# If it is a group of friends turning on you, find the instigator and have a word with them alone. You’ll see its because they feel you are weaker then then but when you want to chat with you they don’t. They turn on you, cause they see you as an easy touch. No its them.

Long life friends are the ones that really are when they stick around and you may have drifted apart but the love of your friendship is still there., and even though you may have your own lives, you still love seeing one another.

When a friendship drifts apart it can feel like you have lost a part of a limb because long life friends can often have a bigger inpact, and when you go separate ways it can be a huge justment and make you feel sad for a while and that you want to get the friendship back to where it was, but sometimes you do have to give friendships space.

5# if you don’t wanna lose a friends you have known forever has changed find another way that they can still be in your life but in a different way

So how i have done it, is through Social media like Facebook and Instagram but by sending a letter or a card occasionally. This can feel to them a warm hug to say I know we are not really in each others lives, you still love them and you are there should they wish to return to see you physically again.

I think with Lockdown in my case it has bought people to be closer like my son, that at the moment I don’t get to see him all of the time.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Is Having a Bestfriend Good for Health in terms of mental and physical

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Posted by in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Wordpress blog about having a bestfriend

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So I have had many Bestfriends, one being my longlasting Friend Hayley and we grew up with eachother as babies and adulthood and our boys, her eldiest was born close to my son Henry, and even though we development different friendships and started to do our own thing, we have always known that eachother are there.

Girls Best Friends Image & Photo (Free Trial) | Bigstock

One of my bestfriends in Peabody, who was a sister to me, a girl named Kelly, we would spend days outside on her block having a way of a time, looking after her sibling, her sister and we again drifted appart, but it did kind of give me a sense of worth having a bestfriend. She knew that I was still around and the same that I knew she was, but was attacked by another girl on the estate when we lived, and I was in the same fascinaty when it happened, but I had know idea it was her, but she ended up being brain damaged, and I have never seen her again. I was sad, when I found out she was now in hospital hanging on to life.

It has been discovered that bestfriends can really help in terms of Depression, worry and Anxiety, it can make us feel secure in some way, that there is at least, when you may have many people against you, someone on your side and someone who doesn’t judge or interrupt, but listens, and you can talk about anything and everything.

Back before the internet it was the norm back when I was a kid to play on the streets in the Estate, and it did have value in my life, as we learned to get on with other children and form friends. It was natural source of happiness having friends to ask if they wanted to “Play out” and we would with our bikes, Rollerskates and pushchairs. playout all day long sometimes.

A Bestfriend for me was a good foundation, and it gave me comfort just knowing even if we didn’t see eachother all the time, that they were there as said and going to concerts together, playing Top Of The Pops where we would take turns in singing songs in the charts and doing pretend play again where sometimes we were school teachers, talking in the staff room, in each of our bedrooms and my friend Hayley and I would plan what we were gonna play when she next played and stayed over in my flat and the same when I stayed with her.

Having holidays together, cause you are sharing the memories of them with a bestfriend and its good for the soul to have someone who you have things in common with. So for me yes I think having bestfriend is good for the health as me and my friend Hayley would run up to eachother when we saw one another and played what seemed forever and we were planning one time, that we would live together and have a bedroom just for our Barbies.

So, I shout and gonna campaign to have a Bestfriends day or week to celebrate the Bestfriends we have had in our lives cause they great for the Soul, the mind and makes you physically alive to as you are talking nonstop not feeling awkward or self consciuous but comfortable and content.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X