So I wrote a post like this some time ago and said how I had a good foundation of people in my life, and that it is good to have that around you. I do still feel the same but the people who are now my foundation are different people and having a horrendous seven years, I have come to realise that those original people didn’t have my back and were very much against me.
I am someone who believes in Love that is out of this world and I have that now being in a new relationship which some may mock but I don’t care.
I was not on this planet to please everyone and to be like someone else. I am me and I am at a place now in my life where I feel contentment and very much sure of myself and it is changing those in your life that can bring a bad smell in your life alone and be with good hearted people who will always have your back no matter what.
I have created more Life Coaching video content on my Youtube channel and put together a playlist so here is a link for you to check these out:
It can be hard work when someone just wants to go against everything you say or do, but I am a fighter and have found a strength within me that I never knew was there and has helped me to battle my way forward and create a lot of things that only some can dream of.
Now when I say that I feel I have to justify those feelings, and concious of not wanting to show off but isn’t it my right to compliment myself? That’s been part of what has been drumed in me to not wanting to praise myself, but I am not going to stop being kind to myself as I can be my worst critic at times too. Recognising your strengths and self awareness is a big step forward and makes you see,
“Oh I am not that bad as I think I am and I have finally found the qualities within me that will drive me to success and forget those who want to attack and I am not going to stop believing in myself when once it was seemed wrong and will be my own Life Coach and as Cyndi Lauper sang “Be as Strong as I can””.
I am not doing this because I feel that I have not had a bad life because I have had a good one. I never was left hungry or without clothes, but now at the age of 42 have seen that there will always be those who remain your friends and family, but there are those that won’t and you just need to let go and push forward and live not exist, and create a foundation that is filled with love, faith and empowerment, that will catch you if you fall sometimes and be there to celebrate your success too.
So stay safe, stay strong and never let anyone get you down.
In this blogpost I am talking about Who would I want to be stuck in a life with, and who would I not want to be?
Well lets just say IT WOULDN’T BE JEKYLL AND HYDE that’s for sure and there is someone doing Extreme Copying and no not them either. I am not scared of either but they just would make me want to commit murder.
Now I today used my Mrs Hinch Activity book to go through different words and what I would like to practice more of so on myself, so they were Kind, Funny, Loyal, Helpful, Positive, Tidy, Friendly, Silly, Fun, Caring and Loving. It is a Journal that I had been wanting to buy for ages and finally did.
So who would I want to be stuck in life with who is Kind. Well I love Jordan Page because she is a Financial Guru and I have kind of lost track from someone who as a kid, and yes me, have become wreckless and so with her videos, have helped me to keep on track and thankfully my writing has kept me a float. She is so real and truthful in her content and find her relative and engaging that I am a huge fan of her work and miss her videos as I have kept some that I like to go back to for inspiration when I need it.
I would say to go through these words to, and also used these words to look at myself. I give myself a hard time all the time, and it can be like I am hitting myself with a mallet all of the time. The other person who would be under Kind is my friend Laura, who I have know since school and would always have her in my life and hated school just like me and was my friend since those days up to now.
Funny, it would be my new love Lee and is under Kind too. We have been seeing each other for ages but never got together as such. Yet he would see me as his Girlfriend and last year was when we got together and I am so needing to see him again. It’s been tricky due to the Lockdown and Covid.
He covers all of those words and is very much loving and has a heart of gold.
Loyal is one of the most important one to me as I have always been like that and when I am a friend with someone I am for life, unless they have been secretly been rude about me, but I will always have peoples back and when I become a fan of someone or something I will always be unless again I find out they aren’t nice at all and just appearance.
The people I would say are Loyal to me. It would be my friend Hayley whom I have known since I can remember, and we don’t see each other a lot now, do see her as my friend for life and has never turned her back on me and will always have time for.
My Virtue family, who I am so amazed with. I don’t see myself as being anything than a girl who had a different dreams to most on my housing estate I grew up on, and has followed it.
So helpful, so this again is a trait I will alway follow and do wash up, even though this has been questioned. I will open a door for someone, but do want it acknowledge. The people who don’t say thank you when I am helpful not to be anywhere near my life, as for me this shows they have no respect for others and so never have time for people like that.
In terms of someone being helpful is my man and those who I have loved since a kid, like Oprah Winfrey, as her show she did was so successful because it wasn’t all centred around her but other people and not just the rich and famous, and found her show and video content as she does speak now at many Seminars, to be helpful. I saw that this successful woman had been hurt as a kid, didn’t always feel good about herself, and didn’t mind sharing it because she knew that there would be others feeling like that too.
Of course Mrs Hinch for her Activity book which has inspired me to write this post today.
Positive. So yes I have been doing lots of work on that, because I have sometimes been pessimistic and negative at times. I struggled through life some days and I am often anxious, and just now as I continued this blog was feeling anxious and I don’t often know why and I didn’t.
Using Postivity practices like using these tools in her activity book, has helped with that. Giving myself acknowledgement is okay, as I was often left to believe that I was wrong if I ever did that, but now I do.
We can often feel that we are at fault all the time, and there will always be those that can’t wait to have a go at your for something, even if it is breathing, and so being positive about yourself and life, by focusing on what yu bring to the world and life, and doing positive things, like acts of kindness and be helpful and funny.
Tidy. Now I struggle here. I am not always tidy. I hate cleaning and I feel somewhat positive again in be truthful about that. Now please don’t take this as I am untidy and I like mess. NO. I just find it a task to often pick up a cloth and wipe a surface down or vacuum and have the tendency to put it last.
In terms of someone I would be in life with who was tidy, it would be Nigella Lawson’s for her Pantry, have Jamie Oliver’s Kitchen, Carrie Bradshaw’s walk in closet and Jennifer Addison’s Friends Wardrobe and costumes.
Friendly is another trait I have always had and is how I have met a lot of my friends. I meet one of my friend Louise through watching the Rugby team the London Broncos, and I can be someone who shy’s away from people if I don’t know a lot of people and have suffered with Social Anxiety. However I have never allowed this stop me from being friendly and approachable.
I remember being picked on at the Comedy store and so many people were coming up to me afterwards and just chatted to me and it was a night I will always remember as yes I met Lee Mack there and we had a snog, then I got rat arsed like I usually did, sang karoake and how I got home I do not know, but was a bloody good night. If you have never been to somewhere like the Comedy Store then once Lockdown moves on, go.
Silly. Yes I do practice acts of silliness and sometimes like to just be silly even in my blogs, as that is me. I was called weird as a child and yeah I suppose to many I am, but I will always say hello if you are a genuine friendly as above person, and like to use my silliness in my books as I am writing a comedy as we speak and last year when it felt like the world was tumbling down, got up to This Old House by Shaking Stevens and was mucking about and it felt bloody good. Would like to do this again sometime.
So who would I like in my life that is silly. Well again my Love Lee, but also my cat Toby who would attack me regularly. Some are saying its because he saw me as his mother, well if I do start to eat cat food then I might take myself to the vets, especially if I start to jump at someone and attack their feet.
Fun. Well I love having fun, hence why I have written this blog post today. Fun for me is taking the piss out of those who feel it necessary to put my world down, and I am going to once I get the confidence is do dancersize and Boxercise. I just want to get rid of my swollen eye I have at the moment, caused by stress and get up on my feet put on some tunes and WORK IT OUT! YEAH I HEAR YOU SAY. LETS KICK SOME ASS!
Also this blog post has made me come up with a potential heading for one of my books or use it to create a Joke Book.
The person that comes into mind that comes to fun is Davina McCall, as her fitness DVD got me working out at home and now has her own fitness/exercise site called: ownyourgoals site and it has some workouts of hers and other fitness trainers and instructors, and I buy her fitness DVD’s every year. I just need a knew DVD player because my ex would often get rid of things and the XBox that was also a DVD player was replaced by a fifty two inch TV so I couldn’t use them.
So glad that, that is over we were no offence to him, suited at all.
Caring is something again I have just naturally had. I did cry when watching the Film Rocky Two where Silvester Stillion, charactor gets beat and alway sobbed to the book and film “Puff the magic dragon” if anyone can remember those. I wear my heart on my sleeve and never going to apologise for that.
Being Caring is in you and I am glad I am subconciously like that aswell as consciously. For me the person who comes into my mind when it comes to Caring, it has got to be my two Nans. On my dad side and mums, as they help bring me up and I spent a lot of time with them. That is how I would see many of my other relatives and I loved looking out of my nans flat in Doors road as it did have a brilliant view of Southwest and even Central London, and writint this makes me feel patriotic about where I come from. They would always make it an occasion on mine and my cousins birthdays and was my influences in my childhood and growing up.
So famous people it is three. Princess Diana, The Queen and Tony Robbins. I remember as a child I was very much a royalist and Lady Diana before she became a Princess, we used to see going to work when she like me worked in a nursery in South West London, and she would embrace people like no other and broke the barrier between us normal folk which I thought I was back then and being a member of the Royal Family.
Then the Queen also. She followed on the trend from her father giving a speech every Christmas and helped families through the Second world war as many building were bombed down, including where I used to live in Peabody Estate and was a comfort to people in the UK and around the world.
The other is Tony Robbins. This man changed my way of thinking just by one, yes one video and I was hooked. Now someone who I was once with in a relationship, hence why we never worked as I did respect his opinon but why we were so different. He would call it Brain washing. Well dah, no it is not. In fact it is far from it. He just makes you see that you are seeing regret for example a complete fail and I am never going to get my dream, to yeah you can. If you keep seeing failure that is all you will see. However if you say right that didn’t work but this is what I can do next away of moving you away from thinking you have nothing else to live for to yes you have everything to live for.
Then loving. Well again I am a loving person and perhaps too much some time, but seeing life now being in my 40’s it ain’t a bad trait to have and why I have met and come to know so many people because I will talk and listen and take in what people I have come to know say to me. I loved Butlins and the guests, as they would make you feel part of their holiday and that always made my day.
So for me those that have stood out for me in that category is my Aunty and Uncles as always used to on a Saturday as a little girl hope that they would be at my nans when we used to go over to my nan skinner on a Saturday and my mum and dad friends from Chelsea including my mums bestfriend Gill and family as I would stay at their houses with my friend Hayley and her sister. We used to go on Holidays including camping with them and I loved them. Plus all of my cousins even the most annoying ones.
Plus my inlaws from my previous marriage as they still looking out for me and love them still, as they welcomed me so well, and have been very understanding that my first marriage didn’t work out, and still send me messages to say so too, and I love that.
Some more people who I haven’t mention and that is all of my Rugby League friends I came to know as thinking of them even those whom are not part of my life now gave me a lot of memories too and made me feel welcome on my first ever game and that I had been going there for ages and so have to mention my friend’s mum and dad for that Phil and Susan Jones.
So why no do the same and use these words to journal how these words in Mrs Hinch Activity book means to you, and you’ll see that you do have more to life than what you may see.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: If you would like to be kept up to date of all my blogs and video content on this site then please follow and I also post on my network site:
Now I know if you see the heading you may think I am going to hit you over the head with the Bible and may be uncomfortable able spirituality and certain beliefs. That is fine, I am not saying this is for everyone, but those that do and how it can help them to have more empowerment in their life if they aren’t able to get it from another source.
Spiritualiy is personal and a feeling within yourself and some cut it off knowing it is there and some use it help them drive them forward, and for me it has.
How as it helped me in my life?
Well it made me see that some of the things I asked for, for people to see the goodness in me and that even though I know I am not perfect that I am real and a young kid who has had super ambition, has happened. That I do have an inner strength, which helped me through last year when life was terrible in parts.
It could be mocked a lot, but with prayer and learning from parts of the Bible as I don’t believe in all of it, has helped me as a person and seen what my purpose is that I often used to question and has guided me this far.
I don’t read the Bible everyday and in fact it has been a very long time since I did, and have used other books to help me find my way, but I know it is there if I do want to read it.
Check out my New Weekend chat video where I talk about Religion and Do I believe in the Bible (see below):
I no longer want to be part of the Church of England and be a Catholic as the church of England misrepresent it, and feel strongly that Catholic church is for me, and fits well.
I didn’t at one time because of its belief of Abortion, but that is not true.
Do I think people are wrong in having no spiritual beliefs?
No! It is up to you and you make the choice and that is fine. Not everyone was put on this planet to believe in it, and so, it is a personal preference.
I like to pray sometimes and talk to God but I do it privately away from other people, but share it to those who are interested.
It has been through spirituality that I have maintained my belief in true love and connection. I have that now and one part of my life that is going in the right direction, aswell as my writing. It has made me see I am a maker of many things, and can accomplish whatever I want by shear determination that I didn’t at one time felt I had.
You are the founder of your own earth, and that means you are in charge of your life and choices, but if you did need a bit of direction then praying or just sitting quietly asking for help, can help and has helped me.
I no there are those who use religion to hurt people and can use it be evil and even though it says there is no hell or devil, I see it is that those who do that, are the devil not someone necessarily with horns and is based in the hole in the earth. I think that is why I am not overly religious as I see that as a danger zone being that those who do harm people because of they’re super religious give others who don’t a bad name and reputer.
I used to make spiritual goals, but I feel that I have reached them and don’t have any others at the moment but are good to set and can help with self development and personal growth.
One thing this Pandemic has done is shown the kindness of so many people and what you can do still even with Lockdown and Social Distancing how you can still reach out to people.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: Check out all my blogposts on this site by following me and I also add blogs to these sites too:
Hello and welcome! If you have not been following me then I am doing a series of Blogposts and Youtube videos that have Life coaching tips and information and on topics that can effect and that we need to address, to help ourselves move forward to have a better life.
Here is a playlist I have created on Youtube of my Life Coaching videos, and more will be added soon:
So this blog I am talking about How Love can save the day, because love is something that grows within you because it is a natural human instinct, and when someone is down and you don’t pass judgement or have an opinion and listen to them, that is love and means the world to a child or an adult.
We all at some point need reassurance, and just knowing that there is someone out there who loves you, is a great comfort and should be what you should try to focus on if you are having a bad time. I did a video which will be going live on Youtube on Tuesday, and it is about How to deal with events in our lives that are out of our control and if you know someone who is going through that at the moment, just send them a message to say “I just want you to know I love you and here” and those words will mean a million to them.
There are many different types of love and that is the beauty of it. You do get people who abuse it and they are the ones who use it because to them it is just a word. To me it means connection and a feeling that can be empowering and help drive us forward.
I was told by those I know who abuse it, that True Love doesn’t exist. Well funny that because yeah it does and I have found it, and it is the most comforting feeling one can ever have.
If we loved more than more hate would disappear and we would all feel more fulfilled and that we are all here for a reason. So stay strong, stay true and always know that love can conquer all.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board and Facebook page dedicated to my life coaching programme:
This post is for my new Programme I have created called Project 2021, giving a lot of Life Coaching Tools and Information, and will be put up on my Pinterest page and my Facebook book I have created for it too; See below at the end of this post:
Here are my Top Ten Life Coaching Tips:
1). Listen to empowering music that gives you that inner strength of, lets have a good day. It is one of the things I do as soon as I wake up, and helps me to wakeup slowly and look forward to the day
2). Find someone that inspires you. I first learned about Life Coaching when I was feeling lost and I came across a site which had some short videos of people talking to a guy on the stage Called Tony Robbins and I was so takenaback as he would have some audience members telling him their story and to find help from him of how to deal with certain situations. Such as a relationship breakdown, how to stop feeling stuck in a rut and were looking for support in their difficult situation. When he spoke it did feel like he was also talking to me, and has inspired me no end. You need to find those that helps to bring your confidence out and not make it complicated. So someone even if it s an actor or singer that brings a smile to your face and gives you everlasting energy
3). Change your routine. If your bored of doing the same thing everyday, then change it and do something different in your days. This may mean coming out of your comfort zone, but it will give you better energy to stick with the change of routine, and if there is something you have always wanted to do, then do it
4). Don’t let Lockdown stop you from having a good day. So if you feel you need to go out then do, if you want to see a friend then do. If they live far away but you have a way to contact them, then go ahead and why not download Zoom and have a meeting where you can see each other, grab a coffee and have a well earned chat
5). Never give up on love. Sometimes it is hard to come by and I have learned last year that those who would make out they adored you, sometimes used it to disguise their hatried towards me and so I pulled away and I felt so relieved by doing so. Often people like that can make you feel inadequate. If your gut instinct tells you, “no they aren’t really my friends”, if they give a smirk or look like they may be talking behind your back, then don’t waste your time with them. Find those who make you feel important in their life and that your friendship with you is valued
6). Spend more time with your family. We can get so lost in our work, especially at home, but taking two hours a day to spend with your kids, whether it is baking, playing a board game or watching a TV programme. We can often feel unfulfilled by our work, when we don’t get to spend time with those we love, so take that time and then go back to your work later
7). Write a letter to those that have passed away in your life and say the things you wish you had wanted to say, but never got the chance to when they were alive and it will heal the pain of their lose. I am gutted that I never got to see my dad before he died, and it was like a thud when it hit me. At first it didn’t sink in, and then at his funeral it did, and I felt so sad that my words were never heard by him, and losing a parent that once protected you, is hard to face. I still go over it, and I think that regret will always be there, but I have found, that listening to music he loved and I did too, gives me comfort and I haven’t done this yet written a letter, as you do have to be ready too, but will as I think I need to get out what I had wished to have said and then it is there
8). Get to know who you are. This took me a while to know who I really was, and by doing many things in my life, like writing, listening to music, reading and watching TV and Youtube, made me get to know who I was. I am someone who can be quiet, enjoys her own company, but likes good relationships to the point all I want to do is be with them non stop and when I let my hair down I go for it. I have never been someone who slept around, or did drugs, but I just liked to go out, dance, with friends and get other people to enjoy themselves too and just be me.
9). Stop competing with your self. I have often done this and had many people in my life, acting as if they can do anything and be good at, to score a point over me, judging if I could or not. I never point score, but have found I have had to catch myself, as those types of people can suck you in. Be your bestfriend and not an enemy
10). Reward yourself. If you have exercised or taken up a new skill, then reward yourself and give yourself credit. I can be so critical of myself that I sometimes have to say “Look shut up and let me be”. We do need to be kinder to ourselves and when you do something that made you smile then have that well earned alcoholic drink, or takeaway. Lets just live without having regret or feelings of guilt and have a happier life than before
See my Pinterest board, dedicated to my New Programme, Project 2021:
Hello and welcome! So it is another Lockdown. Yeah, Boris really knows how to fuck up a year that has just started, but hey ho, that’s what happens when we have a Pandemic, which seems is going to effect us in a big way, as it means that once again, those who are elderly and are alone, will stay alone, and that is nothing to be thankful for.
So I say still go round and see them, even if it is half an hour of the day, and take them a cake or a pie, or give them some flowers. They are the people I think about, when this kind of thing happens, and they are forgotten about.
I feel that many industries will be effected like Football who rely a lot on supporters buying their season tickets each season and bums on seats. Also, the Chelsea Pentioners who are ex-servicemen, love going to football matches and is time for them to be out for two hours or so, so they will miss out aswell. We do need to help the elderly and those extra vulnerable when it comes to having a complete Lockdown.
What it may do though, is keep people out of hospitals, and eventually I hope that the numbers of those with COVID will go down, but the question that comes into my head, is how do they know it is COVID if they still unable to test everybody?
I am going to leave that question there, but if you have an answer please tell me. There is a comments section below.
I am going to use this time, to inspire and talk about those who do inspiring things, and especially through Lockdown of last year. First off, I would like to say a Thank you, to the one and only Gary Barlow, who was making some great videos, having some famous artists sing with him, with the joy of social media, (see below link to his Youtube channel):
Then there are other Youtube channels where people have still been sharing there home life. The one lady I love to watch, is CraftyGirl. She does daily videos of her life, along with some DIY videos, and Kerry Whelpdale, who does a lot of meal ideas videos. See link to their Youtube channels below:
Being in Lockdown, we should all pull together and create magic via the social channels and Davina McCall has create a website called: Own Your Goals, and is brilliant. I have signed up to it, and you can still exercise without going too far, so please check this out, as there are loads of workouts from 5 to 35 minutes to choose from, and why not still invite a friend round so you can do a home workout together.
I have also, used this time, to create a new Programme called Project 2021, which will consist of life coaching materials, to help people have a better year and accomplish more than they could dream of. It isn’t about hard work, as I don’t want that myself, but having a life full of fun, laughter and accomplishment. See details about this programme in the link below:
I have created a worksheet for this Programme, so see file below which is free to print off and I will add this to my Pinterest board which is also dedicated to Project 2021:
Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.
I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.
So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,
Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”
Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.
Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.
Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.
Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.
I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.
I am listening to an ABBA song because music is one of my many healers, I was in the process of talking to a person in my life about this year and I still can’t talk about the first 5 months of this year, without wanting to break down.
I wrote a post, reviewing this year and want reflect on it too, as I want to address some parts that I am finding hard to talk about.
So at the beginning of his year from December to this year in March I was shaking like a leaf, was taking Diazapans, aswell as other medication and was a total mess. I was being hurt and if I say what, I know there will be people who won’t believe me, but I miscarried a lot this year without telling anyone.
I have been seeing someone new, as my marriage was over and I have now a proper true love but he was targetted to, and I have said this before, but it has felt like 4 years in one.
I was very suicidal and had a nervous breakdown indoors at one point and I still reflecting, I was having the most horrific nightmares that I am still having them, where I was going to be raped by a gang of bent Police officers, or be involved in a plane crash or be in a building that was collasping, the list goes on and on, but all there needs to be said is that they were so horrible that I still can’t sleep through the night.
Even now I write this I am breaking down, as honestly they have been the most horrendous nightmares I have ever had and I have been sleeping this part of he year up until midday, because I am scared of going to sleep at night.
I just was living in a nightmare, that at one point I thought would never end. I am writing about it now because I would never want anyone reading this to ever go through that. I realised that those who were making out were my friends, weren’t and that also were in my dreams too.
I feel very let down by some people and want this year to be gone. The other good thing that happened for me though, is that I am now a full time writer, which has been one of my ambitions since I was a kid, and I hope to be working in TV by next year, if all goes to plan.
I am now listening to a track that I have played a lot this year and it is the song, One & One by Robert Miles sung by Maria Nayler. It really has made me look at my life and see that there were a lot of begruding people in it, and I just want rid of all of that.
I want to be allowed at 42 years old, to live the life I have always wanted. I never once ever begrudged anyone, I was envious of people but knowing how they were, very two-faced some of them, glad that I am not like them and I am my own person, and have made my own journey into being the woman I was always destined to be, and I need to learn to give myself more credit than I do, as I can be my own worst enemy, and to stop doubting myself and that I can make it happen for myself.
So I want you all to do one thing for me. Look at yourself life like you have never done before and go through all that you have achieved in your life and the person you are and want to be.
You can do this anytime and at any age. I was writing journals since I learned to write which was very early as a kid, and loved making stories and writing music. It was a hobby that allowed me to switch off and be in my own little world. Keeping a journal is another way I am going to do this too.
Let me know what you have written down if you wish to share them with me either in the comments section below or if you would like me to see but not publish on this blog you can email me at carriesblognetwork@gmail.com.
So I hope the next few days before the new years is a relaxing one for you and there will be more to come on this site and I will keep you posted, once I have these up on this site.
I created two online courses and another one is being developed. So I will let you know when this course will be available. See link to my education network below:
I am working on 3 books at the moment as I am re-writing my first book of The Parenting Adventures Pregnancy to the first 9 months. I will let you know when this is published, a comedy and a rewritten book called the Peabody Years.
So to go into 2021 and be more productive, I am going to draft a load more blogs to post, as there is so much I wish to share, and slow down a bit more.
Check out article called: 20 Secrets to live a happier life, via the link above.
You can still be productive and take it easy too, but just focusing on 2-3 things each day and week, is much better than doing a whole 25 things to do list. I was doing this and then would blow myself out, and I do take a break from it too, in parts of the year.
JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BUILD A NEW LIFE, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE A WELL EARNED BREAK. YOU CAN STILL BE PRODUCTIVE BY TAKING SOME TIME OUT TO DO OTHER THINGS!
As said in my previous posts, it isn’t about quantity but quality, and I really want to take my family to Disney World and have a well earned holiday, as it has been a while, go to a music festival, if they are on, and have loads of family time.
Being productive is achieving the things that make you feel good, energized and ready to continue on. If you find parts of your life is boring and needs a change, then make it.
Live your life as you wish to, as long as it isn’t trying to hurt another person, but that makes you and those around you happy. Whenever I have gone out and had a drink with friends, I do get buzz from them, as I love to see them enjoy themselves too, and as it is Christmas soon, I want the rest of this year to be about spending time with those that truly love me, and who I love back and next year to be, about going out more and doing more adventures.
I am super in love and that is making me really look forward to next year and what it will bring. I want to do Stand up again, like I did when working at Butlins, write more music like I used to and develop an online shop.
I am going to take my time next year, so no rushing, as I was once called Mrs Rush Rush Rush, but have a purposeful day and do what is important to help me and adds value to my life.
So lets get ready for 2021 and see what it brings. Remember to live it like you want to and don’t allow those that want to continue to be haters and unhappy to stop you.
Please check out my new video, showing more of what I like to write on this channel and please remember, if you wish to keep up to date with my posts on this site, to click the follow button below.
So there will be more to come and I want to share an Erin May Henry video talking about my much love subject, setting goals, as they map your life for more good things to come and helps you to grow.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P:S: Here are some links to further posts and sites I have created for this year, along with some new Youtube videos:
You maybe thinking why write this post when I was in my other blogs say “You go and set goals and be successful, fuck those who are arseholes”, but I like to be honest and this year I do feel like I have been on the worst rollercoaster I have ever been on. Not being dramatic and being an actress who didn’t get the part of being Cinderella and given the part of an ugly sister, putting up with those who are like “Talking bullshit is better than the truth, stop doing that, its wrong, I like lying” yet they often the ones who keep saying “I like being a C.U.N.T because I’m just being honest” and start shouting it about, and then when you see them or speak to them they start kissing your arse. I don’t, I may mention that what I write is me being honest, but I hope that I don’t need to say it and shout it, as people can automatically tell I am writing the truth and from my heart. It’s in the words, of expressing how I feel.
I know my mum might read this and say “That is a nasty blog take it down at once” Sorry mum but like you I’m only being caring and honest, like you always say you are.
Yeah it isn’t going to stop me from having a life, I am just fed up that there are those who make you think “To the Hell With it” I’ll have a take away rather than have the leftovers in my fridge, I’ll stay in bed all day, I shouldn’t have gotten out of the bed and wish I could hide away and that there would be such a thing of an invisibility cloak, to stop phone calls that I don’t want.
To the hell with it, I’ll stink all day as soon as you want to use the shower someone else in your home wants to use it, which is fine, but they see you getting your stuff ready and run in there, like the superhero flash. Yet I don’t mind waiting after him as you know he won’t be long, and when I use the shower I get accused of using up the hot water.
It’s days like today where I wouldn’t mind being a superhero with powers that would keep cretins away and have a credit card that noone can use to spend some dosh on my account. To those who do that, I want to say “Did you enjoy buying that crap on my account, was it worth it?” And then move the amount back to them, with a note says “Thanks for the debt but here’s my gift from me the debt you have tried to give to me”.
Life is full of ups and downs, but when you get more downs then up you feel like saying “To the Hell with it” I’m gonna give up.
My aim like so many, is to be happy and its my writing through blogs and books, that do keep me going along with being in love and listening to music.
I have come to discover that a lot of people aren’t want they seem, pretending to like you, but not and I am sick of that.
“To the Hell with it” I’ll be as nasty but because I do have a huge conscious, and know that there are genuine nice people it stops me. If they keep on I will take the piss out of them, but I am the sort of person, that when I like someone it is true, as I express it, but if it is someone I genuinely don’t like I won’t give them the time of day.
Part of being successful is to go through the wars aswell as the times when it feels like I have been given a bunch of roses, but when someone wants to destroy you through jealousy it just makes you say “To the Hell with it” have your glory I don’t care.
So yes, today has been one of those days, and I hope tomorrow will be a lot better, and hope I can have my dinner without any hassle and have a good evening.
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