We have pressure from people around us at times, places and the paths we have gone through (OPPP Pressures) Objects, people, places and paths.
The talk in the blog linked above about letting go of things that no we are no longer in love with, or it can be because you played football at pro level and now you don’t due to injury and you never knew it would end in that way and now have accept that, the life we knew it is no more.
Letting things change for the better. This can cause many fears and hold us back.
We have pressure to restart things like wanting to read a book each month but now its 3 months later and still reading the same book. I have been there and failed, so now I will read my books as I do read to a novel or a true story and self help books. I give myself two pages a day and so far this method is working.
Pressures lay down questions that we don’t always want to answer but we know they are there. Example: Dealing with personal pressures, “If I don’t like a job I am in should I just give it up and move on?” I have worked for many companies and had been in this position and I have walked out on some jobs, due to the pressure.
Be strong and guided, allow the pressure to be releast and out of your body. Meditation is brilliant for this and prayer, if you are religious of course but pull yourself back and go through what is really causing the pressure, and go through The OPPP method to take control and be out of the pressure you feel.
Take care of yourself and #bekind to yourself and we deserve to be happy and be let of stress caused by too much pressure.
So can you believe that loneliness can be different to people? it can and I have learned that it is as a kid I felt I didn’t belong and was scared of rejection, but its because I am a naturally social person depending on where I am and who with. As a kid I could not see it and felt very lonely and was told by many that I live in a world of my own.
I was not sure of these words but in funny way I did see it as a compliment as it made me see early “I was my own person” and now glad I was different.
Being different to others is okay, its how to present yourself and many people who feel loneliness its because they don’t have the right people around them to feel fulfilled and we are naturally all social creatures, yet I have suffered with social anxiety. That can be lonely right there, and you feel that only you can see it yet they can’t and think I am unsocialable.
When I write this it makes me ask, does this sound strange? Perhaps but it is true, I do feed off from other people and if someone wants to talk to me, I do and not judge them. I loved it as a kid we would go on holiday with other families the area I spent my life as a child and loved them, and would go camping with them too. I loved this community of people and wish they were still in my life.
We can be lonely when we feel unwanted in a family and often its the excuse, “Well they are family” yet should we feel left out? I settle and get to feel comfort by giving people space, but let them see I am here if they want to talk to me. If I don’t like someone I do stay back and don’t engage, or if I feel wary of them and often let them approach me if they want to, or not.
It is all about setting, and if you feel self conscious around some people that can then make you want to go elsewhere or they pretend that they haven’t been out all day without you and then tell you as you believe that they just met, yet was a cock and ball story, knowing that you both know the truth. I am someone who basically sees it as, “If you want me as a friend that’s fine but don’t pretend that you do”. Every human can feel lonely event those that have lots of cash and no where to go.
With lonely comes honesty and often people want you to feel lonely because they think its gonna make you want them around, yet you don’t want them and it can be tough to let people go, but sometimes you just have to, to get beyond he loneliness.
Being lonely isn’t an attack on someone it is a feeling and about wanting to be part of a world you feel you aren’t. Give time to those who really care not those that don’t. Listen to good music, videos and podcasts or even an audiobook, that makes you feel loved and that there is magic in those that can give you a lift and since sociallising on the net I have neverr looked back and thanks to modern technology I have now kept in touch with all the friends I have and it is a lot.
Summer times for me as a kid was getting out even when it rained to different places and meet different people and my holidays as a kid were full of having fun and long lasting memories. Now I trying to do the same for my son and other children that I may have, and I do like have a happy journal and try to keep those memories going, and one day the can read to look back themselves.
I think your family history can have a massive input on how you are when becoming an adult, and I loved going on holiday with a lot of families it made them extra special and it introduced different cultures and socialising.
When it comes to history it can dictate your future as you find that you are forever learning and it is good to have things you learned as a kid into your world as aduilt, like for example, working in a Holiday Camp, as my first holidays were spent in Clacton and it has influenced me to wanting to holiday again and would love to go on a holiday and rent a cabin.
I come from a huge family and loved it when I saw my relatives and looking back on the Christmases we had, sorry about mentioning the C word only being Auigust and near to Setpember, made me want to have similar Christmases and do all the things I have dreamed of doing. My nan loved it when we, my family all got together and was very family orientated.
My nan was very good at looking after people, and for me along with my Nanny rose were proper grandparents and I still love horse racing and have gone to see it as a kid and would love to do this again, and my one dream since a kid was to go to a ladies day meeting, and dress up.
So family history can definitely dictate the future, but of the good things to make more good things in your life today and the future and learn from the bad to not make the same mistakes as want others have made and yourself.
So first of all I today did a video talking Expectations in a regular video I do talking about The Truth Of Growing up, and so check out if you wish too.
Expectations are always going to be there from other people and from yourself too, but it should be on your terms, and what I mean by that is that often others can expect too much, and should be what will help you individually to raise the bar and be done gradually.
I am someone who jumps into something with both feet, when I would go to dancing school, when I first began working and even when I would write books as a kid, expected my first book I wrote as an adult, would it be well received, yet reading it back, some details were in correct as when you have a child you do get baby brain, but it was telling my story of a first time mother and the things that I never knew about until I became a parent. If you would like to check out my books The Parenting Adventures under may married name then they are available from Amazon (name Carrie Challoner) as I now use my maiden, Carrie Holmes or Carrie Lee Holmes.
When you get married everyone expects you to be already planning to have kids, yet its not a fairy story, it is real life and I am glad I never rushed into marriage as it was four years later and that I got married and then it was a while until I had my son Henry. Me and Henry, My son’s dad have split and we been together a long time, but we still make sure that Henry sees us both.
With all relationships there is an expectation from you and them, to be on the same page and terms, and that they are there to hold your hand and listen and want to see you to wind down and to catch up of what of how they have been and the same for you. Yet friendships can then be tested by others who get resentful and that it is a tug of war, where that person then says “Who is your bestest friend” and this continues from experience to adult age and you think not, but true.
Again if they expect you to meet you when it suits them, then is this a expectation of “Your here to see me not you” and that is where the expectation is impossible to reach, due to other things in your life. Friendship is a two way street and be fair.
Hello and welcome! This is my inspiring stories blog sharing the story of The Queen of Soul, Whitney Houston, who had a voice that could sing the phonebook and it sounding incrediable. She had a powerful, gental and its hard to describe really as it would be magical and I would listen to Whitney all day sometimes playing her records, tapes and then CD’s.
I would imagine that her voice was mine and that I wrote them, as they were such great hits and when she died I was devastated as she took a break from music for a while and then came back, and she had so much more to give, that it made me question “How can life workout like that”. Her first album she did rocketed and in the music world that even now it is rare but she did it.
I have all her albums and my favourite song is still for me “The Greatest Love of all” writen by Stevie Wonder, and he released this aswell. but even Stevie couldn’t fault that Whitney’s version put it on the map to success. Stevie Wonder and Whitney did a song together on her album “I’m your baby tonight” and it was a song called “We didn’t know”.
Whitney was singing at a young age and sang with her mum in a gospal choir and was a true believer of God and her career took off with her very first song “How will I know” and is about how does she know she has found love and does she stand a chance of being in love and she is not sure of the guy wants to be with in love and is hers forever.
I remember hearing from her Second Album she did starting off with the song “I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me” when in Gatwick Airport off to our yearly holiday in Menorca and when I came back bought her second album on Cassette tape and continued to buy her albums, as they were all as good as the last one.
She then changed her music for a while to R&B “That’s not right but its okay” and did as good as the last even though it was a whiles since her soul albums and had a total change of music to make it current.
Her Cousin that Whitney saw as an Aunt and were so close was, another lady of Soul and Mowtown, Dionne Warwick and she too had a phenominom career as a Music Artist and had many hits that Whitney had good teachers of music in her life, and it was the artists that she collaborated with like George Micheal, Mary J Blige, she had meet that helped cruise herr to the top and those who love her will remain, like me fans forever,
Whitney’s life as a kid wasn’t luxury and were part of a struggling community, that believed in God and music to help them through tought times, like the Partied and racism. She never entetained that and her music was all about Love of everyone including children and love that is unconditional. She like me struggled with reality and continouously battling with herself not feeling good enough.
Many people were surprised by this, but fame does not mean you no longer feel insecure and in fact many who struggle with themselves turn their life around because music, creating records take a lot of work, tells a story which other people can relate to. People who are unconfident in themselves are more passionate and have more drive.
Whitney Houston movie career began with the Hit Film The Bodyguard and was about a artist who is at the prime of her career, is targetted because of her fame and received death threats and so Kevin Costner, who plays her bodyguard tries to stop it and Whitney’s charactors isn’t at all impressed at first and is a turbelant relawtionship,
Then she went on to making further films, with music still being her number one passon and marrried another Artist Bobby Brown and they had a daughter together and for while she wasn’t doing so well.
Whitney for me is still a lady of wonderful music and that is how I would like to remember her and I will always listen to her songs as they still give me so much joy and peacefulness.
She was a lady of love and devotion, but sadly the price of fame did arrive and sad that it all ended as there was more to come from her, and did bring out further music but its sad her and her daughter, Bobbi Kristina, left the world as they did.
Thank you Whitney for the music you created with your voice and I miss you but glad your music lives on and for being such an amazing artist of soul.
Hello and welcome! This is blog number 27 and in this post I am talking about Addressing my faults and Being Happy for others
This is someone who had many faults, I used to butt in when having a conversation. I do switch off which isn’t a fault as such but for some people it can be and why I didn’t continue to do driving lessons and have gotten jealous and begrudging. Being on the other side of that they are not good traits to have and once you are on the receiving end of such emotions how it can turn into something unworthy and anger from them, who do feel that way.
I see them also as bad habits and bad behaviour and its the question is, “Do you want people to be happy and living a dream and or unhappy?”
“Do you want anger from others as does it make you feel better when they are?”
Everyone deserves happiness weather you like them or not and I find its those that always complain and never satisfied and nothing pleases them.
“Do I want people to see me in this way?” Of course not. I want the world to be a better place and stop war if I could and end suffering.
I dont want to see anyone homeless or anyone being hurt where they ca’t defind themselves, who would want that?
There are people who are just unkind and always want you to see you fail and that makes me sad rather than anger cause it can spiral out of them being isolated and alone.
We all have fleurs but there are those that learn from it and those that don’t and feel they are always right all of the time and I am not afraid of saying that I am wromg and have in many ways but I still come out of it still standing and we will make mistakes and working on ourselves is important in being received by people for good and not bad. So setting boundaries and rules for yourself is the way.
On the way back from a Mother and Toddler group I checked out one of the buses which go passed the station for when I started a new job. This was about 7 years ago.
At the bus stop this lady approached and she wanted to see Henry and started shaking him not roughly and she got a bit worried because he was zonked out, and says “Whats the matter he woke wake up” and so I applied “He’s okay just a sleep” and I didn’t get alarmed but was sad for her as she must have witness a child not waking up hence why she panicked.
She did look like she had a few too many alcoholic drinks but not knowing her I didn’t get cross and just moved on. I don’t know this lady and it is surprising how people can be having more of a bad time to worry for other people and children.
We do need to be respectful as noone knows what someones been through to be alarmed, and she did look like she had troubles and so if you see someone who is different to the norm, try not to judge because they are doing it based on their life. If they wish to talk then let them.
I didn’t feel threatened by this lady’s actions and could see the anxiety she had and we do need to stop judging people.
First of all Thank you for your feedback I have had so far. It really means the world to me and this is Day 20 of my 30 day blog challenge whereby I have been blogging on this site once a day for 30 days.
I have written similar blog like this, How to handle days when it all goe tits up and today it is “When things go tits up”, like missing your train, forgetting your mobile and having to go back and get it, you’ve fallen down a man hole in the street, go soaked in the rain and no umbrella. I am a person where it is “More or nothing” kid of a gal and when it goes wrong it does.
My son this week wasn’t well and felt sick at school, so thankfully I was contacted to pick him up, Being a mum you will have to do that too at some point and often we will stressed because you have taken him school and seemed okay and then due to the heat can have a full blown meltdown, without your control.
Remember it will pass its that kids show their emotions more than us adults and so they will find it hard in the heat, so when he got in we played out in the garden cause he just needed fresh air and was done, and went back to school next day and just in case I got there early to pick him up again as he has now finished school for the summer, and took him as promised the day before, o the train and then he wanted to get on a bus and we did that too.
Kids will get sick and I as a child was often sick. Anything going around I caught luckily I have been well through the COVID pandemic, but are more vulnerable caue of their immune systems still developing. Its life and so I focus on “What can I do to help prevent this” rather than I don’t know what to do. Check out my new parenting blog about blog I wrote on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com called Children and being sick.
Spend time reflecting over the misshap if it plays on your mind and what could you have done differently and go through list of prevention. Pehaps giving kids a multi-vitamin each day to help their immune systems, perhaps have two phones a home one and a mobile so the school can call both.
Its spending time to evaluate and measure how bad it was. What helped and what didn’t.
So, just breath and honestly do what you can and prepare for things that give you a bad day.
Hello! This blog has been prewritten for Sunday, as I don’t post any live blogs on this day, and in this blog I am talking about Taking time out to practice kindness that can be so rewarding and empowering, and it is a simple as holding the door for someone, or dedicating a blog post to someone and I want to praise people like Lenny Henry who with Bob Geldoff came up with Comic Relief and raising money for kids in Africa and then in the UK.
We do need to protect and building up the next generation and I am concisous of myself of how sometimes I have taken other people for granted that now I have grown and realised no that’s not me.
I do common courtesy and it has been enbedded for me so I do like I drink water, and supporting those that have fallen then built their lives up that has inspired me like Tony Robbins and Rod Stewart with his music.
No one likes a door shut in their faces and that does happen but that teaches you how not to be.
Sending a card every month to a relative or friend to check in on them and now social distancing is being removed slightly we will be able to visit our friends and relatives on their own.
Organize a gathering and do the Tea and Cake afternoons with Murie Curie Cancer or Dementia and if it is birthday and sunny why to arrange a BBQ for those friends you haven’t seen for ages to raise money for charity.
Visit a Charity shop as I love doing this as it is amazing on what you can find. Buy books for someone for their birthday and arrange a book club to raise money for good causes.
Anything that helps those in greater need than ourselves. Do a Fundraising walk or run and have celebration of a small gathering to reward yourself. It is all empowering and can make such a difference.
Create a project like I have done this year, doing my Project 2021 which I turned into an online course:
Hello! As I sit here listening to music and listening to One Moment in time, it makes me feel so grateful for music like this is how it makes my day everyday and I now have a notebook where I practice Affirmations, and it does feel good in doing that.
For me it is like writing a message to myself and that is exactly what it is.
I do have to kinder to myself it is important to have that relationship with myself; part of growing up is to accept myself. I have fallen out with myself a lot and been my own worst enemy.
It can be whatever message you want to tell yourself each day like one of mine is, I will make each day count, so it gives me a reason to pop out and walk to listen to my body more and be caring with myself.
I have created some more printable for you to download and print off in your Happy Journal or as a guide to use your own.