On the way back from a Mother and Toddler group I checked out one of the buses which go passed the station for when I started a new job. This was about 7 years ago.
At the bus stop this lady approached and she wanted to see Henry and started shaking him not roughly and she got a bit worried because he was zonked out, and says “Whats the matter he woke wake up” and so I applied “He’s okay just a sleep” and I didn’t get alarmed but was sad for her as she must have witness a child not waking up hence why she panicked.
She did look like she had a few too many alcoholic drinks but not knowing her I didn’t get cross and just moved on. I don’t know this lady and it is surprising how people can be having more of a bad time to worry for other people and children.
We do need to be respectful as noone knows what someones been through to be alarmed, and she did look like she had troubles and so if you see someone who is different to the norm, try not to judge because they are doing it based on their life. If they wish to talk then let them.
I didn’t feel threatened by this lady’s actions and could see the anxiety she had and we do need to stop judging people.
First of all Thank you for your feedback I have had so far. It really means the world to me and this is Day 20 of my 30 day blog challenge whereby I have been blogging on this site once a day for 30 days.
I have written similar blog like this, How to handle days when it all goe tits up and today it is “When things go tits up”, like missing your train, forgetting your mobile and having to go back and get it, you’ve fallen down a man hole in the street, go soaked in the rain and no umbrella. I am a person where it is “More or nothing” kid of a gal and when it goes wrong it does.
My son this week wasn’t well and felt sick at school, so thankfully I was contacted to pick him up, Being a mum you will have to do that too at some point and often we will stressed because you have taken him school and seemed okay and then due to the heat can have a full blown meltdown, without your control.
Remember it will pass its that kids show their emotions more than us adults and so they will find it hard in the heat, so when he got in we played out in the garden cause he just needed fresh air and was done, and went back to school next day and just in case I got there early to pick him up again as he has now finished school for the summer, and took him as promised the day before, o the train and then he wanted to get on a bus and we did that too.
Kids will get sick and I as a child was often sick. Anything going around I caught luckily I have been well through the COVID pandemic, but are more vulnerable caue of their immune systems still developing. Its life and so I focus on “What can I do to help prevent this” rather than I don’t know what to do. Check out my new parenting blog about blog I wrote on my site: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com called Children and being sick.
Spend time reflecting over the misshap if it plays on your mind and what could you have done differently and go through list of prevention. Pehaps giving kids a multi-vitamin each day to help their immune systems, perhaps have two phones a home one and a mobile so the school can call both.
Its spending time to evaluate and measure how bad it was. What helped and what didn’t.
So, just breath and honestly do what you can and prepare for things that give you a bad day.
Hello! This blog has been prewritten for Sunday, as I don’t post any live blogs on this day, and in this blog I am talking about Taking time out to practice kindness that can be so rewarding and empowering, and it is a simple as holding the door for someone, or dedicating a blog post to someone and I want to praise people like Lenny Henry who with Bob Geldoff came up with Comic Relief and raising money for kids in Africa and then in the UK.
We do need to protect and building up the next generation and I am concisous of myself of how sometimes I have taken other people for granted that now I have grown and realised no that’s not me.
I do common courtesy and it has been enbedded for me so I do like I drink water, and supporting those that have fallen then built their lives up that has inspired me like Tony Robbins and Rod Stewart with his music.
No one likes a door shut in their faces and that does happen but that teaches you how not to be.
Sending a card every month to a relative or friend to check in on them and now social distancing is being removed slightly we will be able to visit our friends and relatives on their own.
Organize a gathering and do the Tea and Cake afternoons with Murie Curie Cancer or Dementia and if it is birthday and sunny why to arrange a BBQ for those friends you haven’t seen for ages to raise money for charity.
Visit a Charity shop as I love doing this as it is amazing on what you can find. Buy books for someone for their birthday and arrange a book club to raise money for good causes.
Anything that helps those in greater need than ourselves. Do a Fundraising walk or run and have celebration of a small gathering to reward yourself. It is all empowering and can make such a difference.
Create a project like I have done this year, doing my Project 2021 which I turned into an online course:
Hello! As I sit here listening to music and listening to One Moment in time, it makes me feel so grateful for music like this is how it makes my day everyday and I now have a notebook where I practice Affirmations, and it does feel good in doing that.
For me it is like writing a message to myself and that is exactly what it is.
I do have to kinder to myself it is important to have that relationship with myself; part of growing up is to accept myself. I have fallen out with myself a lot and been my own worst enemy.
It can be whatever message you want to tell yourself each day like one of mine is, I will make each day count, so it gives me a reason to pop out and walk to listen to my body more and be caring with myself.
I have created some more printable for you to download and print off in your Happy Journal or as a guide to use your own.
I am going to do a series of posts which will have a free printable so you can start creating a Happiness Journal either by printing it out in A5 for a filofax, to stick into a notebook, to develop your own EBook and to print it out in A4 aswell, as you may want to attach them to a vision board or a fridge. I have put together on Youtube two play lists, one is my Life coaching vids and another of other peoples videos that I wanted to add to my tools and information for Life Coaching to help you to have a better life and a better year.
So in this one I have a front cover sheet in A5 and A4 and a happy tracker sheet in these sizes too:
You can even create your own cover for the Happiness Journal print outs.
It is addressing anything that seems to pull you down and makes you feel unworthy or inadequate, pointless and illimunating the negativity so we can put it a place that you know its there but not going to effect you.
Check out my Playlist of my Life Coaching Videos and others I have saved that can help you, that have helped me too.
So, I did a blog about how Bestfriends can help your health, but what happens when a friend turns out to be an enemy and can damage our health physically and mentally.
When I become a friend of someone I become a friend for life, and so for me the relationship of friendship is important to me and what I see in a friend is someone who loves your company like you to with them, and have many things in common.
If they start to make snidy comments, start excluding you from nights out and use you to be friends with other people then blank you, it can then develop into not feeling like you don’t belong, to feeling of self-worth and that you in someway have upset them but you don’t know why. With friendships if I feel it is starting to turn I keep away and will further the gap between them.
1# Have some guard up and don’t be so trusting
They will comeback and be all nice again, yet as soon as another friend turns up they partner with them to then push you out of the way.
In this instants for me I tend to leave them be and say “They’ll soon come back and if there is another friend I can talk to, then I do”.
2# Never see is as it is you, because it isn’t it is them.
Friends can make you worry about certain things that you didn’t before like you body image and that like i experienced i was told by a girl at school that i was boring about talkng about my favourite TV show The Bill and that i would talk about my holiday to America.
It did hit a nerve, but I did lose all respect by those that was also part of that, and that person who said this to me started talking about The Bill and so it was okay for her, but no for me.
3# When you see triggers like this, its time to move away and keep your boundaries and let them know what your boundaries are
Friends because they are you friends see it as an excuse to be unkind, but it is also the gut instinct to say “No I am not feeling this friendship now its time to move away”.
Please never fear there are always other friendships.
You can become Socially awkward and go back into the shell you once lived in and hid. You can start to have Social Anxiety because you feel in adequant around friends who make you feel this way.
4# If it is a group of friends turning on you, find the instigator and have a word with them alone. You’ll see its because they feel you are weaker then then but when you want to chat with you they don’t. They turn on you, cause they see you as an easy touch. No its them.
Long life friends are the ones that really are when they stick around and you may have drifted apart but the love of your friendship is still there., and even though you may have your own lives, you still love seeing one another.
When a friendship drifts apart it can feel like you have lost a part of a limb because long life friends can often have a bigger inpact, and when you go separate ways it can be a huge justment and make you feel sad for a while and that you want to get the friendship back to where it was, but sometimes you do have to give friendships space.
5# if you don’t wanna lose a friends you have known forever has changed find another way that they can still be in your life but in a different way
So how i have done it, is through Social media like Facebook and Instagram but by sending a letter or a card occasionally. This can feel to them a warm hug to say I know we are not really in each others lives, you still love them and you are there should they wish to return to see you physically again.
I think with Lockdown in my case it has bought people to be closer like my son, that at the moment I don’t get to see him all of the time.
So I have had many Bestfriends, one being my longlasting Friend Hayley and we grew up with eachother as babies and adulthood and our boys, her eldiest was born close to my son Henry, and even though we development different friendships and started to do our own thing, we have always known that eachother are there.
One of my bestfriends in Peabody, who was a sister to me, a girl named Kelly, we would spend days outside on her block having a way of a time, looking after her sibling, her sister and we again drifted appart, but it did kind of give me a sense of worth having a bestfriend. She knew that I was still around and the same that I knew she was, but was attacked by another girl on the estate when we lived, and I was in the same fascinaty when it happened, but I had know idea it was her, but she ended up being brain damaged, and I have never seen her again. I was sad, when I found out she was now in hospital hanging on to life.
It has been discovered that bestfriends can really help in terms of Depression, worry and Anxiety, it can make us feel secure in some way, that there is at least, when you may have many people against you, someone on your side and someone who doesn’t judge or interrupt, but listens, and you can talk about anything and everything.
Back before the internet it was the norm back when I was a kid to play on the streets in the Estate, and it did have value in my life, as we learned to get on with other children and form friends. It was natural source of happiness having friends to ask if they wanted to “Play out” and we would with our bikes, Rollerskates and pushchairs. playout all day long sometimes.
A Bestfriend for me was a good foundation, and it gave me comfort just knowing even if we didn’t see eachother all the time, that they were there as said and going to concerts together, playing Top Of The Pops where we would take turns in singing songs in the charts and doing pretend play again where sometimes we were school teachers, talking in the staff room, in each of our bedrooms and my friend Hayley and I would plan what we were gonna play when she next played and stayed over in my flat and the same when I stayed with her.
Having holidays together, cause you are sharing the memories of them with a bestfriend and its good for the soul to have someone who you have things in common with. So for me yes I think having bestfriend is good for the health as me and my friend Hayley would run up to eachother when we saw one another and played what seemed forever and we were planning one time, that we would live together and have a bedroom just for our Barbies.
So, I shout and gonna campaign to have a Bestfriends day or week to celebrate the Bestfriends we have had in our lives cause they great for the Soul, the mind and makes you physically alive to as you are talking nonstop not feeling awkward or self consciuous but comfortable and content.
I never overshadow the struggles in my life and I have talked about them in books and blog posts, and I like to create a true picture. There was a time whereby my work wasn’t being respected, yet I never disrespected anyones work. I was in an unhappy marriage, and many people took sides, and I also found out more of what the person I was married to was doing. I have had a lot chucked at me, but I am still standing.
I never thought I’d be in a position where I’d needed to fight as much as i have and it really took its toll at one point, where I was super stressed and last year I was a totally different me, to the point now I ask myself “How the hell did I get through that?” but I did.
When it comes to Real life of a working mother, you get a lot of judgement. People who don’t want to support you, want to shame you instead, and I see it a lot, If people have their own view on life, but why do we feel the need to put someone elses parenting skills down. I ask the questions, “Does the kid look healthy? Do they laugh and have fun a lot? Do they look like the world is on their shoulders? Honestly, with kids you’ll soon know.
I did write a new blog on a new site I have created called In A Life of a writer, and I will be sharing my life of an author of many Books, and reallife picture of being a Mummy blogger.
There are people who don’t like the word #blogger, but I don’t mind it at all. I mean that is what we are doing, Writing blogs so why not be called a “Blogger”?
Yesterday when I began this blog, and was filming a Get Ready with me video, my son came up and said hello, and had a piece of chocolate and went to have a pooh, yes sorry for putting you off your Sugar Puffs, and telling the world that he was Farting. That is little boys for you, and cause he had, had some chocolate there was a chance I’d end up with chocolaty fingers all over a new dress I was wearing.
So that is real life and why cover it over, when I am sure, people can relate to it.
So my first Tip# Is to go through you calendar of important dates. Go through birthdays and anniversaries, and how you can use them in your work or work around them. If there are birthdays or anniversaries that you can’t attend, of who may have sent out invitations to you, but still send them a message via social media or a card still. If you need like I do to shut yourself away to work on an online course or a book, do it, and set a date for yourself and many do a Writing Retreat.
Tip 2# Go through the summer months of taking your work outside, and make your work more personal to the people you are trying to attract. People like those who create products that solves a problem in everyday things, like, How to save money on energy in the home that you can save for your business.
I am all for working and saving at the sametime and that is now, why I am financially secure, because I have created a passive income with solid income and that means having weeks where I will work Rock solid and then take time out. Those who are earning a lot of money, know it when they no longer have to work everyday or can take it easy and can have more holidays. I know with Lockdown it has not been possible, but I do have some holidays booked and really looking forward to them
Tip 3# Use Easter to separate your work and finance as a new quarter, so like from Jan to March is one quarter, April to July or June the second and July to September is the third and October to December the last quarter. Honestly, it makes work so much easier.
I was someone who worked month to month at one time, but it never worked for me, and I have set goals for this month April 2021, but I have done it so I can work through them, through the other months.
Tip 4# Don’t jam pack your day with loads of meetings and tasks. I like to spread things out in the week, and would book meetings in the morning so I have my afternoons and evenings, to myself to do whatever I choose. I do have a day in the week where I don’t write blogs to go live or post any at all, and that is Sunday.
So go through your week and things you may have already booked and, then see where there is space to have an Admin day, a no meeting day or a day of doing research.
Rip 5# Use the sunmmer holidays as the time to plan the next quarters and keep setting goals. A lot of people think goal setting should be at the beginning of the year, but plan them all year round.