So I wrote a post like this some time ago and said how I had a good foundation of people in my life, and that it is good to have that around you. I do still feel the same but the people who are now my foundation are different people and having a horrendous seven years, I have come to realise that those original people didn’t have my back and were very much against me.
I am someone who believes in Love that is out of this world and I have that now being in a new relationship which some may mock but I don’t care.
I was not on this planet to please everyone and to be like someone else. I am me and I am at a place now in my life where I feel contentment and very much sure of myself and it is changing those in your life that can bring a bad smell in your life alone and be with good hearted people who will always have your back no matter what.
I have created more Life Coaching video content on my Youtube channel and put together a playlist so here is a link for you to check these out:
It can be hard work when someone just wants to go against everything you say or do, but I am a fighter and have found a strength within me that I never knew was there and has helped me to battle my way forward and create a lot of things that only some can dream of.
Now when I say that I feel I have to justify those feelings, and concious of not wanting to show off but isn’t it my right to compliment myself? That’s been part of what has been drumed in me to not wanting to praise myself, but I am not going to stop being kind to myself as I can be my worst critic at times too. Recognising your strengths and self awareness is a big step forward and makes you see,
“Oh I am not that bad as I think I am and I have finally found the qualities within me that will drive me to success and forget those who want to attack and I am not going to stop believing in myself when once it was seemed wrong and will be my own Life Coach and as Cyndi Lauper sang “Be as Strong as I can””.
I am not doing this because I feel that I have not had a bad life because I have had a good one. I never was left hungry or without clothes, but now at the age of 42 have seen that there will always be those who remain your friends and family, but there are those that won’t and you just need to let go and push forward and live not exist, and create a foundation that is filled with love, faith and empowerment, that will catch you if you fall sometimes and be there to celebrate your success too.
So stay safe, stay strong and never let anyone get you down.
IN THIS BLOG I AM TALKING ABOUT DEALING WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND JEALOUSY WHICH I TALK ABOUT IN THE VIDEO LINKED ABOVE AND IS ONE THAT IS NEGATIVE AND HAS A MASSIVE IMPACT TO YOUR HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING.
People say that Jealousy is healthy and keeps like your spouse on their toes, but being someone who has been targetted by those that have been jealous I disagree. In fact being someone who was once a Jealous person it is not a nice feeling at all, and its like what Mel Robbins says, your basically saying “There isn’t enough of what that person has to go around, and your not worthy of doing that too”.
I was targetted quite badly for someone who felt that way and it was as if I had no rights of a life of many amazing things because they felt they wouldn’t and so why should I. I am going to be blunt here: THAT AIN’T MY FAULT.
I stopped my jealousy by asking myself questions, like: So do I want that person to fail or not have a life? How would I feel if they did that to me? and it has made me address, face and handle.
To get rid of negative feelings including resentment which comes with jealousily and hatred because someone is doing better than you, but you don’t want to feel that way either, Address those feelings by asking questions like above, Face them because if you try to ignore them the stronger those feelinngs can grow within you and handle, so deal with them so they go away from your thoughts and fears.
Now if there is a person who knows you are feeling that way and play on those feelings so a boyfriend purposely kisses someone else in front of you, knowing that you are going to be upset then that is different, and they are doing it to be spiteful and this is where you can say “What was that about and why?” and then walk away unless they follow.
There are people who will play with your insecurities, but this doesn’t make them super confident it means they are insecure more than you, as they think to help them stop feeling like they don’t like themselves aim it at you to make themselves feel superior to you.
Those feelings can have a tendency to rub off on you, and before you know it your doing it.
Fear is often a course of negative feelings, because we fear that if they do well means that it may mean we never will, but anyone can be successful but creating their own work, so not copying and using your own talents and interests for you to have a happy life aswell. Check out video: Finding your Talent.
Example McDonalds and Burger King. So McDonalds was formed in America in the 70’s and was the it fast food restaurtant to go to, and it took over our English version Wimpy, and the guy from McDonalds who was the creator knew that if he could come over to England and open up here aswell as America then it has a good chance to reach other countries.
Then someone who worked at McDonalds wanted to make their own version and build a fastfood Franchise but got jealous of McDonalds rein and even threatened to close McDonalds down as they were told where ever you build your fastfood restaurant we will be there too so you will never be as big.
Yet the top two fastfood outlets in the 90’s were McDonald and Burger King. They were at logger heads all the time, but they both succeeded and both had restaurants all over the world. So there is always enough to go around and still stand out against others who do the same as you, but if you put your own stamp on what you do then you can be as successful.
The other negative feeling is not feeling like you are part of anything. I felt like this for ages and it did get to me. I remember being invited to someone’s anniversary party when I worked in a holiday camp and feeling like would stand out like sore thumb and not really be wanted there, and was only being invited because who I was romantically with.
If you feel like this then ask yourself. Do I have friends that will be there in a shot if they knew I was feeling like this? Do you get on with these people? What I do when I feel this way is say, “Okay it may be that no if I weren’t with a certain person perhaps I wouldn’t be invited but can I change their mind by being happy for an invite and show them that I am worthy of their company?” Yes I can and I did.
There are those who can make you feel inadequate but if I am going to an unfamiliar ground but feel I have to go to someone’s party because at the same time not want to let that person down, is tell yourself like I have “You don’t have to stay and there is always a door you can walk out of”.
I have suffered with social anxiety because I have been with people in a romantic way and have been cheated on and that can hit you like a knife but because I knew the relationship was over did like above, Addressed, Faced and Handled and then I was like “Okay that is fine, I did fight for it but now know it is time to walk away” and you can tell yourself that as human nature intended to listen to your gut instinct if it is good or bad to stay or go, it will let you know.
Another negative feeling is towards yourself. Not able to look in the mirro and I get this alot and hve been like it since I was a kid. Sometimes the image of myself in my head was different to what I saw in the mirror and so have a notepad and write down the things you do like about yourself.
We can be harder to ourselves than to other people and we all have a uniqueness and qualities and so go through it and if you say “There’s nothing that I like” then ask a friend to do this for you and have them read it out to you. You’ll be surprised as to what they see that you don’t about yourself.
Feeling ugly is hard hitting and so have a day where you pamper yourself, or do something that makes you feel good. I find having a skincare routine can help and I have done a video talking about what I keep in make up bag and current skincare products I use.
Try and do something differet each day. So two night ago I decided to introduce a new item into my routine and that is choose a song a day and put it on Twitter and it will be a song that has been part of my life and I did this as it gives me a lift and reaches to those too who need that.
I also in one of my journals write a wish a day or a few and it is helping me feel better as this week I have been a bit run down and so it is good to find these little things that stops my negative thoughts and feelings and make each day count.
So I hope that this blog has helped you and see you in another one.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blogs and videos will be uploaded to my site:
Hi and happy Tuesday! So below is a video I created to Introduce my Life Coaching programme I have created starting this year called “Project 2021” talking about what is going to be included and that you can watch the videos for free on this site and on Youtube, or when I create them into Life Coaching course, and I will keep you posted as to when that is set up.
There will be more videos and blogs included so please keep watching and reading, and if you would like to be kept up to date with the posts and videos on this site, please click the follow option below.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: I have a Facebook page and a Pinterest board dedicated to this programme too:
So as part of my Project 2021, which is a Life Coaching Programme I am putting together to help you my readers of my blog post try to have a better year than last and with that I want to put up a lot of Slogans too, and here I show a Slogan on one of my jumpers from Amazon, which Says “Be Kind” and is featured in my first Project 2021 video.
This first Youtube Video dedicated to this programme Project 2021 is about using Laughter to help make you feel better about passed issues and events, and can help you feel better about the things that once bothered you. Laughter is a great source of medicine to being more happy about life.
I will be adding this footage to the Online Course I want to do too, dedicated to this Life Coaching Programme, and I have linked my first blog on this site about 2021, below, so go ahead and see the link which includes the link to my dedicated Facebook Group too.
Being able to laugh at situations can really help you through the days and weeks, and when I have days where I feel a bit down, I try to find items that will make me laugh and feel better.
It is a great source of happiness and those endorphins aren’t to be missed but taken advantage of, and you will soon be happier about things that have taken place in your life, which at first seemed to be the hardest moments; I find writing items in my books that I found humorious to be a great way to do that, as well as sad times, and sometimes writing sad stories you can still add a comical stamp on it.
So keep going, stay strong and never give up believing.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: Please check out my Pinterest board dedicated to this Life Coaching programme:
This post is for my new Programme I have created called Project 2021, giving a lot of Life Coaching Tools and Information, and will be put up on my Pinterest page and my Facebook book I have created for it too; See below at the end of this post:
Here are my Top Ten Life Coaching Tips:
1). Listen to empowering music that gives you that inner strength of, lets have a good day. It is one of the things I do as soon as I wake up, and helps me to wakeup slowly and look forward to the day
2). Find someone that inspires you. I first learned about Life Coaching when I was feeling lost and I came across a site which had some short videos of people talking to a guy on the stage Called Tony Robbins and I was so takenaback as he would have some audience members telling him their story and to find help from him of how to deal with certain situations. Such as a relationship breakdown, how to stop feeling stuck in a rut and were looking for support in their difficult situation. When he spoke it did feel like he was also talking to me, and has inspired me no end. You need to find those that helps to bring your confidence out and not make it complicated. So someone even if it s an actor or singer that brings a smile to your face and gives you everlasting energy
3). Change your routine. If your bored of doing the same thing everyday, then change it and do something different in your days. This may mean coming out of your comfort zone, but it will give you better energy to stick with the change of routine, and if there is something you have always wanted to do, then do it
4). Don’t let Lockdown stop you from having a good day. So if you feel you need to go out then do, if you want to see a friend then do. If they live far away but you have a way to contact them, then go ahead and why not download Zoom and have a meeting where you can see each other, grab a coffee and have a well earned chat
5). Never give up on love. Sometimes it is hard to come by and I have learned last year that those who would make out they adored you, sometimes used it to disguise their hatried towards me and so I pulled away and I felt so relieved by doing so. Often people like that can make you feel inadequate. If your gut instinct tells you, “no they aren’t really my friends”, if they give a smirk or look like they may be talking behind your back, then don’t waste your time with them. Find those who make you feel important in their life and that your friendship with you is valued
6). Spend more time with your family. We can get so lost in our work, especially at home, but taking two hours a day to spend with your kids, whether it is baking, playing a board game or watching a TV programme. We can often feel unfulfilled by our work, when we don’t get to spend time with those we love, so take that time and then go back to your work later
7). Write a letter to those that have passed away in your life and say the things you wish you had wanted to say, but never got the chance to when they were alive and it will heal the pain of their lose. I am gutted that I never got to see my dad before he died, and it was like a thud when it hit me. At first it didn’t sink in, and then at his funeral it did, and I felt so sad that my words were never heard by him, and losing a parent that once protected you, is hard to face. I still go over it, and I think that regret will always be there, but I have found, that listening to music he loved and I did too, gives me comfort and I haven’t done this yet written a letter, as you do have to be ready too, but will as I think I need to get out what I had wished to have said and then it is there
8). Get to know who you are. This took me a while to know who I really was, and by doing many things in my life, like writing, listening to music, reading and watching TV and Youtube, made me get to know who I was. I am someone who can be quiet, enjoys her own company, but likes good relationships to the point all I want to do is be with them non stop and when I let my hair down I go for it. I have never been someone who slept around, or did drugs, but I just liked to go out, dance, with friends and get other people to enjoy themselves too and just be me.
9). Stop competing with your self. I have often done this and had many people in my life, acting as if they can do anything and be good at, to score a point over me, judging if I could or not. I never point score, but have found I have had to catch myself, as those types of people can suck you in. Be your bestfriend and not an enemy
10). Reward yourself. If you have exercised or taken up a new skill, then reward yourself and give yourself credit. I can be so critical of myself that I sometimes have to say “Look shut up and let me be”. We do need to be kinder to ourselves and when you do something that made you smile then have that well earned alcoholic drink, or takeaway. Lets just live without having regret or feelings of guilt and have a happier life than before
See my Pinterest board, dedicated to my New Programme, Project 2021:
I am so looking forward to a new year as I have many things on the horizon and if you haven’t set your life changes for the new year on its way, then there is no time like the present.
What type of Life changes can you make?Here are Ten Ways to building your life for 2021:
Getting up earlier than you have been. I find when I sleep in until midday it uses a lot of my day. It is okay to do this occasionally but not all the time. So set your alarm earlier, then eventually your body clock will adapt.
What I eat. I have lost a lot of weight this month as I don’t have a lunch each day now, but I eat when I am hungry and lowered my shopping budget from £40 a week to max £20 and lower each week.
Get into fitness. I have stopped doing regular exercise for bit, but do go out walking. I am going to do a boxercise workout each week starting from Christmas Day, like I do each year. I love going for a walk on Christmas Day and this year is no different.
Lower Social Media time. We can spend a lot of time on our phones, checking our Facebook and Twitter, that it can take over. I don’t spend a lot of time on social media. I use it to promote my blogs or celebrate an occasion or wish someone I know a happy birthday, but that is basically it.
Practice Self Care. I talk a lot about this a lot on this site, because part of being successful, is that your work evolves without continuously touching it so there are times where I can sit back and watch a bit of TV if I want to.
Read a book. My ex always would go on about how reading is so boring, to the point where I’d say “Have you heard yourself recently?”. I love setting myself time to read a book. It can help with my writing and on grammar, communication and with speech. I would encourage everyone to read as it can do wonders to your mind and wellbeing.
Keep a journal. I love having a journal and documenting things. It is so good to have all what is bothering me emptied out of my mind and cleared.
Give yourself a make over. This could go under Self care, but to build your life in 2021 is to spend time for yourself, so you can feel good aswell as looking after other people. It is good to buy some new clothes, get your hair done and have your make up done for you. Why not buy yourself a Christmas gift and having make over can be one of them.
Cook your favourite meal. So as we are heading towards Christmas once again, we will be left with Turkey unused and probably having it for a full two weeks until it has been all eaten, so why not post Christmas day heading towards a new year, if you have this time off, to cook another favourite meal that you like, aswell as Christmas Dinner to help you to feel happy. I find making a meal from scratch theruptic, and when I get my own place again I will be doing this a lot.
Go out and Socialise. So I know there is still news on COVID, but please do not allow it to stop you from seeing your friends and family. Just make sure everyone who comes into your home washes and sanitises their hands, and when out do the same if they have Sanitiser available. We have spent a lot of this year staying away from those we love, so let the new year be where you go out more and see all your friends like we did before COVID and explore.
I hope you have a good rest of 2020 but I am looking forward to move away from this year and start a new.
Please remember you can follow me on this site if you want to be kept up to date with my blog posts on this site and my others, which you can find on my main site:
P.S: Please check out my JustGiving page, which I have set up to raise money for the charity called, Tommy’s who support and raise awareness of Stillbirths and Premature births:
I created two online courses and another one is being developed. So I will let you know when this course will be available. See link to my education network below:
I am working on 3 books at the moment as I am re-writing my first book of The Parenting Adventures Pregnancy to the first 9 months. I will let you know when this is published, a comedy and a rewritten book called the Peabody Years.
So to go into 2021 and be more productive, I am going to draft a load more blogs to post, as there is so much I wish to share, and slow down a bit more.
Check out article called: 20 Secrets to live a happier life, via the link above.
You can still be productive and take it easy too, but just focusing on 2-3 things each day and week, is much better than doing a whole 25 things to do list. I was doing this and then would blow myself out, and I do take a break from it too, in parts of the year.
JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BUILD A NEW LIFE, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE A WELL EARNED BREAK. YOU CAN STILL BE PRODUCTIVE BY TAKING SOME TIME OUT TO DO OTHER THINGS!
As said in my previous posts, it isn’t about quantity but quality, and I really want to take my family to Disney World and have a well earned holiday, as it has been a while, go to a music festival, if they are on, and have loads of family time.
Being productive is achieving the things that make you feel good, energized and ready to continue on. If you find parts of your life is boring and needs a change, then make it.
Live your life as you wish to, as long as it isn’t trying to hurt another person, but that makes you and those around you happy. Whenever I have gone out and had a drink with friends, I do get buzz from them, as I love to see them enjoy themselves too, and as it is Christmas soon, I want the rest of this year to be about spending time with those that truly love me, and who I love back and next year to be, about going out more and doing more adventures.
I am super in love and that is making me really look forward to next year and what it will bring. I want to do Stand up again, like I did when working at Butlins, write more music like I used to and develop an online shop.
I am going to take my time next year, so no rushing, as I was once called Mrs Rush Rush Rush, but have a purposeful day and do what is important to help me and adds value to my life.
So lets get ready for 2021 and see what it brings. Remember to live it like you want to and don’t allow those that want to continue to be haters and unhappy to stop you.
Please check out my new video, showing more of what I like to write on this channel and please remember, if you wish to keep up to date with my posts on this site, to click the follow button below.
So there will be more to come and I want to share an Erin May Henry video talking about my much love subject, setting goals, as they map your life for more good things to come and helps you to grow.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P:S: Here are some links to further posts and sites I have created for this year, along with some new Youtube videos:
To build dreams and visions always set yourself, if not a whole to do list or goals list, do “A task a day”. I have had to learn this myself as I do many times given myself so much to do, that no wonder I end up feeling bogged down and like “I can’t do all this”.
We aren’t put on this planet to do so much we are only one person and so we need to be kinder to ourselves and allow ourselves breathing space too.
Life isn’t doing 20 things at once but doing what you can that makes you feel fulfilled and happy to be doing them, not because you have to.
Being a writer of many things, music, books and blogs that I can get so caught up in it sometimes and become blown out.
So now I focus on three things.
Home
Work
Play
I then will,
Prioritize
Be SMART (specific Measure Aim Rest Time)
Break it down
Be ruthless with some decisions
Aim high but not do too much at one time
A vision is a dream, and as you go through the tasks or task you plan to do, make sure they have a true purpose. Do you need to vacuum everyday? Do you really need to sort through your wardrobe all the time?
No one is going to be famous for vacuuming or cleaning but for what they truly got out of life.
People like to know how they accomplished in winning a Gold Medal not how many times he would do his laundry or for sorting out his running gear all the time.
We spend so much time on existing but not living and to get the most of your days, is have a purpose not a chore.
If you see things as chores all the time, the less you are in achieving all of them, but if you set a purpose example, I will dust my home as it helps clear my mind, it will help you do this so you can feel less messy in your head.
I love having dreams and as far as I am concerned they are healthy, because they help me to carry on and push forward.
Yes that inner critic will often speak to and hold me back, but I tell it off now, and my positive voice will step in and that is the one I listen to.
If I find something daunting I find a way to make it easier for myself without going over and over it in my head about 15 times.
So set your dreams and your goals and don’t do everything at once but live your life that makes you get out of bed each day and be happy that is what we all want in the end.
A new year for me is a new beginning and want this time round to be a fresh start, as this year 2020, has been the hardest one I have had to face since being alive and I want it to have a happy ending and be ready for another new year ahead.
If you have seen my last two posts about setting myself new goals and establishing them, you will see that I have cut them down this year, and if you have followed me for a while on this site, I like to make Life changes rather than resolutions.
For the last 5 years I have really had to battle with my mental health and deal with people who haven’t been nice to me at all, and I have discovered who my real friends are and who my real family are.
This year I am not going to do a whole list of things, as it isn’t about quantity its about quality and what I truly want to achieve and add into my life.
I have already planned my books I am going to concentrate and write for next year to be published and I hope to expand my blog sites even more and focus sometime building up my Youtube channel again.
I have battled a lot again with my self confidence as it did get knocked quite a lot this year, but will do more exercises and journalling to help rebuild it.
For me it has always been a working progress. I need to give myself more credit and not feel like I have to answer for myself when I do.
I have met a new man in my life who loves me out of this world, and I can’t wait to start a new life with him.
I have had to build a new foundation for myself, but feel that good things will come my way, I just need to keep going, have time for myself too, but not allow anyone to dictate my life.
I like having people look out for me and take me under their wing, but not too the point where I need to ask permission to go to the toilet and it be wrong.
So I am going to keep going and add more blogs leading up to Christmas and another new year, and pray that this time round it is a brilliant start to my life and end of another chapter.
If you need help with setting goals then please check out my free printable sheet to help build your goals.
So if you didn’t read my previous post then you wouldn’t know that I didn’t have a good day yesterday, and was very fed up, and I never want to hide behind it, making out my life is full of red roses and making out I am on top of the world.
Today started of brilliantly but then was stitched up trying to buy items in Marks and Spencers.
If you have a bad day then there are some positive things that can help you through it, so here are ten ways to live a more positive life:
Practice and act of kindness, so I am fundraising this year like I do every year to raise money towards good causes, and you can too. My chosen charity this year is Tommy’s who raise money to carry research on Still births and premature births. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths This can be anything to even buying the Big Issue as they are sold to those who are homeless and trying to turn their lives around to living on the streets in England.
Write, even if it is a song, just get a notepad and begin. I write everyday as it relaxes me and I get lost in it to the point I don’t worry about anything else around me, especially when I do my other love, playing music whilst I work. This has become my kind of meditation and stick with it if it helps you.
Cook a favourite meal that relaxes you and gives you comfort. I believed like many from diet experts, that you shouldn’t comfort eat, but I disagree, as it is always so nice to have a meal that is like a great big hug on a plate or in a bowl.
Walk the cobwebs away. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, stressed or bogged down this always helps and getting well earned fresh air is the best medicine for me, and I did just that today, after the fiasco I had in M&S.
Look after your skin. This time of year I often get chapped skin on my hands and to the point they can be very sore, but because I have been using many creams and oils, it has stopped this, and I do feel better about myself that I don’t need to worry about this now.
Read a book a day. I love reading, but I do take a break from this, because when I do read I can read books one after the other and need that break to read more books and again helps me escape reality for a bit.
Set a week of goals to achieve and for each day, even if it is to have an extra hours of sleep, it is still a goal and sometimes you do need extra time to rest and recuperate.
Volunteer. I suppose this could be the same as number one, but I wanted to include this specifically as it can be so rewarding even if it is working in a Charity shop for a few hours. I helped out in a Football Festival and was marking down the scores of each match and I loved it. Now I know we are in lockdown again, but some shops do still appear to be open, so slightly confused, but you can even set up a Youtube channel to do a act of kindness by reading a story and like the guy who has an Instagram account called the Body Coach did, to help people to get fit.
Develop a project that you have always wanted to do, and it can be to set up a website or an online course, just anything that has a purpose to you and to others.
Have a penfriend. I had 3 to 4 penfriends at one time. One was a woman whom I met when visiting my Uncle Tony who was in a disabled home, and she loved Bon Jovi and knew of the songs like me too, and I loved her as soon as I met her, as she was so full of life and was so happy, that it opened my eyes that no matter what your problem may be you can still be happy and nothing should stop you. I sent her some Bon Jovi posters because she had trouble getting to them as they were downstairs in her local store, and it had no lift or anything so I bought some to send to her. I had another whom I met whilst on holiday in Devon, and a couple of girls who went to Grey Coats my secondary school and left to go abroad and another who I got in contact with through a rock magazine called Kerrang.
Being happy is hard to come by when for so long you haven’t felt good about yourself like I have, but making positive changes to your life, can make all the difference.
So Stay safe and strong, and remember never allow anyone stop you from having a more happier and positive life.
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