Category Archives: People

How to deal with loneliness and have more belonging

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Posted by in Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this blog post and of my other blogs I write, https://carresversitilefashion.wordpress.com and https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

So can you believe that loneliness can be different to people? it can and I have learned that it is as a kid I felt I didn’t belong and was scared of rejection, but its because I am a naturally social person depending on where I am and who with. As a kid I could not see it and felt very lonely and was told by many that I live in a world of my own.

People Hugging Stock Video Footage | Royalty Free People Hugging Videos | Pond5

I was not sure of these words but in funny way I did see it as a compliment as it made me see early “I was my own person” and now glad I was different.

Being different to others is okay, its how to present yourself and many people who feel loneliness its because they don’t have the right people around them to feel fulfilled and we are naturally all social creatures, yet I have suffered with social anxiety. That can be lonely right there, and you feel that only you can see it yet they can’t and think I am unsocialable.

When I write this it makes me ask, does this sound strange? Perhaps but it is true, I do feed off from other people and if someone wants to talk to me, I do and not judge them. I loved it as a kid we would go on holiday with other families the area I spent my life as a child and loved them, and would go camping with them too. I loved this community of people and wish they were still in my life.

We can be lonely when we feel unwanted in a family and often its the excuse, “Well they are family” yet should we feel left out? I settle and get to feel comfort by giving people space, but let them see I am here if they want to talk to me. If I don’t like someone I do stay back and don’t engage, or if I feel wary of them and often let them approach me if they want to, or not.

It is all about setting, and if you feel self conscious around some people that can then make you want to go elsewhere or they pretend that they haven’t been out all day without you and then tell you as you believe that they just met, yet was a cock and ball story, knowing that you both know the truth. I am someone who basically sees it as, “If you want me as a friend that’s fine but don’t pretend that you do”. Every human can feel lonely event those that have lots of cash and no where to go.

With lonely comes honesty and often people want you to feel lonely because they think its gonna make you want them around, yet you don’t want them and it can be tough to let people go, but sometimes you just have to, to get beyond he loneliness.

Being lonely isn’t an attack on someone it is a feeling and about wanting to be part of a world you feel you aren’t. Give time to those who really care not those that don’t. Listen to good music, videos and podcasts or even an audiobook, that makes you feel loved and that there is magic in those that can give you a lift and since sociallising on the net I have neverr looked back and thanks to modern technology I have now kept in touch with all the friends I have and it is a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Inspiring stories: Family artists and bands of our history of music

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Inspiring stories, People, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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This blog is all dedicated to my love of Music and as I write it I just tweeted a song of Andy Gibb, called “I just want to be your everything” and Beegees “Secret Love”.

Bee Gees - Wikipedia
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I loved family bands from a kid and yet their songs are still so current and people remember the names of those in the band and every song they wrote and I always would image me being part of them. I don’t think me and brother would have formed as a band as we are totally different and we argued no lie everyday and had fights a lot as kids, and so glad we never, but doesn’t mean I never dreamed of this being possible and yet often there would be rivalry in family bands, learning about them now I am older and can understand why that was.

This is blog though is not to talk about that side of things because I want this blog to celebrate family bands and about the songs they made and the success they still have today.

So the first one for me was Five Star, and then in the 1987 was when I first discovered the Bee Gees “You win again” and lucky I had a dad who then introduced me to Saturday night fever as this was played a lot in my home and I loved the dance moves and I still listen to Five Star my favourite one being “System Addict” and “Rain or Shine” and had their single records and cassette tapes.

Then there was the Nolans who were a group of sisters who were massive back in the 70′ and 80s and still going but due to Cancer, Bernie lost her life and two others, Linda and Anne are fighting it too, but still household names and were like a normal set of siblings who made it big time in music and still have performed in recent years at the London Palladium. Then of course the Osmonds and including their sister, Marie became stars along with the Jackson 5 and I again I have been to discos whrere their music was playing and everyone was always up dancing to their everlasting music.

I first heard of the Nolans when I would go to a holiday camp in clacton as a small child and I would listen to “I’m the mood for dancing” all day sometimes as my dad loved this song too and I even have the 90’s remix version of the song in cassette and so when my dad would be out I would sneck in the living room to play some of his music too, including this song.

Now it is the 2000’s there aren’t any that I know of, of current family bands and wonder if there will be again a family band in music or has this trend gone now?

Only the world can decide that and I miss a family band and I know there have been family trying to make it big on shows like The Voice, X-Factor and Britains Got Talent, but yet not really made it.

So lets hope that soon there will be a new set of family groups, but still keeping in our minds those that are still alive and well and their music has lived on for longevity and rarely “One hit wonders”. Hence why I love them still today.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! I am going to make sure I blog once or twice a week on this site, but with the school run, not be possible and so if you have been waiting for a new blog on this site, I apologise.

So topic of blog. How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

How many of us have had this experience?

I know it can be a never ending battle, but if they aren’t willing to see things on your point of view, often they never will, so the ball is still in your court on that.

How important is it to have these people still in your life? You need to ask, as can you move away from them?

That is not always possible, but actions can speak wonders.

What do they bring you when you see them? There are people who can be super jealous which leads them to resent everything you say and just want to argue and what they seeing is that. You being happy reflects on them, when no they just using you as an excuse so if they don’t want to hear you, then don’t give them the time. Say to them “If you aren’t willing to listen then we can’t carry on as me being here is not making you happy and you want me to be, so lets talk or move on” this way you are still giving them choice without taking full control over them, but gives them something to think about.

I hate it when it feels like a tug of war, as then I end up not wanting to speak to them and there story has to be worse than yours and it becomes a battle of “Who’s story is the most important” and it should be equal. They listen to you and you listen to them.

Are we made on this planet to get on with everyone? In an ideal world perhaps but not realistically impossible, but you can still be polite rather than hostile and just keeping distant if you can’t move away from them completely.

So what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Last day/Wiping the slate clean

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Posted by in career building, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

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So to wipe the slate clean you have had to have a dilemma at some point, and argument with someone for example and because you can’t agree doesn’t have to be full blown argument, yet you want to say “Okay we can’t agree so I can’t meet you in the middle, but lets just say how we feel and l;eave it at that”, but often it can become more.

Often it can be about our passed and how you felt for each other, constant negativity, yet wiping the slate clean is to forget and forgive.

WE CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE OR BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE, BUT STILL BE RESPECTFUL, AND WHAT YOU DISH OUT IS WHAT YOU’LL RECEIVE BACK!

You go through who was it that started the argument? You go home and feel like slamming every door in the house, yet not resolved and you go through and througjh some more, and turning very angry that it arupts into spitefulness and pointing at every issue you have about them and they do the same, but after time can be fixed.

Often we just need a breather and time to reflect on how we feel about someone.

So if you are going through a break up do you wish to argue with this person everyday and be resentful all your life?

No! As if you never agree and it turns into attacking them and you, aren’t we all worth the time and effort to see if it can be over and return to being polite and civil? Yes it can.

Often we need to withdraw ourselves and be the first to make immense with that person rather than holding a constant grudge.

Does it depend on what they did?

Yes! It is all about giving chances and sitting down having a chat with them, and you can come to the poiint that you are laughing, but if staff towards you again to begin the argument again, it is then, you’ve given them a chance, now it is time to walk away.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to our selves

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Posted by in Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hwllo! I created my first video for my Summer Project 2021 so if you want to check this out then follow this link: Summer Project video.

https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

This blog is about Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to ourselves.

If we see good in us we see good in other people and you should spend time working on yourself.

Life can feel ike a long life sentence when we can’t stop giving ourselves a hard time, going throgh the problem you have with yourself? What really is bothering you?

You need to face it head on, look in the mirror and really observe yourself and then go though your life. Create something new into your life and going through the successes you had through your life, already. This is a great way to see, that you are worth thinking about and find photos of you and others that bring you happpiness and any photos of memories that is a cause of why you don’t feel good about yourself.

Is it due to a person, or bad habit, an addiction or you just don’t like what you see, when you look at yourself?

For me it was the latter I didn’t like looking at myself or hear my own voice. I would often hide away because of it and reallly demolish what I saw.

Yet if someone was saying those things to you, you wouldn’t stand for, so #BeKind to yourself, and see that everyone has qualities and be sponetanous.

Have an evening painting your nails, spend time rearranging you wardrobel and take pictures of different outfits you can create from your collection of clothes. treat yourself to having a new set of items to add, and change it up. Declutering is great, as it good chance to see what would help you look good in the mirror, if it is physical and have fun.

Example today as I write this blog I have the house to myself, so I decided to have a shower in the afternoon that I rarely have and put some indoor clothes on and so feel chilled and good about me, for a change.

Doing the same thing everyday can get on anyones nerves.

Create like I have to help with my confidence, a photobook via google of selfies to see when I don’t feel good to look so I do.

So be your admirer and will help you feel better and help you to love life rather than loath and give yourself credit.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Can your family history and your own history dictate your future?

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Posted by in Creating new traditions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

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Summer times for me as a kid was getting out even when it rained to different places and meet different people and my holidays as a kid were full of having fun and long lasting memories. Now I trying to do the same for my son and other children that I may have, and I do like have a happy journal and try to keep those memories going, and one day the can read to look back themselves.

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I think your family history can have a massive input on how you are when becoming an adult, and I loved going on holiday with a lot of families it made them extra special and it introduced different cultures and socialising.

When it comes to history it can dictate your future as you find that you are forever learning and it is good to have things you learned as a kid into your world as aduilt, like for example, working in a Holiday Camp, as my first holidays were spent in Clacton and it has influenced me to wanting to holiday again and would love to go on a holiday and rent a cabin.

I come from a huge family and loved it when I saw my relatives and looking back on the Christmases we had, sorry about mentioning the C word only being Auigust and near to Setpember, made me want to have similar Christmases and do all the things I have dreamed of doing. My nan loved it when we, my family all got together and was very family orientated.

My nan was very good at looking after people, and for me along with my Nanny rose were proper grandparents and I still love horse racing and have gone to see it as a kid and would love to do this again, and my one dream since a kid was to go to a ladies day meeting, and dress up.

So family history can definitely dictate the future, but of the good things to make more good things in your life today and the future and learn from the bad to not make the same mistakes as want others have made and yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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So first of all I today did a video talking Expectations in a regular video I do talking about The Truth Of Growing up, and so check out if you wish too.

Expectations are always going to be there from other people and from yourself too, but it should be on your terms, and what I mean by that is that often others can expect too much, and should be what will help you individually to raise the bar and be done gradually.

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I am someone who jumps into something with both feet, when I would go to dancing school, when I first began working and even when I would write books as a kid, expected my first book I wrote as an adult, would it be well received, yet reading it back, some details were in correct as when you have a child you do get baby brain, but it was telling my story of a first time mother and the things that I never knew about until I became a parent. If you would like to check out my books The Parenting Adventures under may married name then they are available from Amazon (name Carrie Challoner) as I now use my maiden, Carrie Holmes or Carrie Lee Holmes.

When you get married everyone expects you to be already planning to have kids, yet its not a fairy story, it is real life and I am glad I never rushed into marriage as it was four years later and that I got married and then it was a while until I had my son Henry. Me and Henry, My son’s dad have split and we been together a long time, but we still make sure that Henry sees us both.

With all relationships there is an expectation from you and them, to be on the same page and terms, and that they are there to hold your hand and listen and want to see you to wind down and to catch up of what of how they have been and the same for you. Yet friendships can then be tested by others who get resentful and that it is a tug of war, where that person then says “Who is your bestest friend” and this continues from experience to adult age and you think not, but true.

Again if they expect you to meet you when it suits them, then is this a expectation of “Your here to see me not you” and that is where the expectation is impossible to reach, due to other things in your life. Friendship is a two way street and be fair.

So you raise the expectations not them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Keeping Your Head Above the water/Some People are interested in you, others aren’t

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Printables, Related pages, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! If you would like to see the videos I have done so far on this new Project then here is a link to this and other content can be found there too:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I have created a new printable for you to go through making changes and write about your current situation:

my-next-printable-for-my-summer-project-2021-creating-big-dreamsDownload

We can often feel pushed down where we feel we are drowning and trying to hang on to stop, take a moment and then continue on. There can be resentment and jealousy towards you, and sorry to say this, but these sorts of people will always be around but it doesn’t mean you can’t raise your voice and let them know that it isn’t gonna make you stop, but fight on.

Never allow others shoot you down. You have the right to speak aswell as them, and cut them off.

Head Above Water Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

There are people who want to keep you floating and have no real time for you, only when it suits them, and others will join you, as they are interested in you and you find that this person is on the same wave length and you feel “Yes, this person gets me lets stay in contact”.

Keep your head above the water, and give yourself good acknowledgement and take time writing down why you are you, the things that have made you into a good person, and who has bought out the worst in you.

Noone wants to feel they are trapped and this is how you get out it.

  • Who’s more important to you?
  • What are you about?
  • Do you need to be there?
  • Can you move on?

Being in the wrong environment, and always being wrong, is hard but I have a mechanism that has taken me to better places and there is always a way out.

I once never believed to be true, but it is.

What I do is I will take notes in my head of what they are doing, but don’t take any notice. They dribble, I talk.

We need to dictate ourselves and not be others bec and call. Those people will never change, but you can.

So keep head above and affirmations are a great tool, and can be done in many ways, just tell yourself “You are worth it and you can go for it”.

Never settle for convenince but by what gets you out of the water onto land, and set rules for you and for people to see, you aren’t their admire as they want you to think, but you are with yourself.

Don’t give them to the time to if they want to knock you done and say “Thank you, but I know what I want and I will live my life as I wish too”

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Inspiring Stories/Whitney Houston/The Queen of Soul/Amazing Artist of Soul

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Posted by in Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Inspiring stories, Love, People, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! This is my inspiring stories blog sharing the story of The Queen of Soul, Whitney Houston, who had a voice that could sing the phonebook and it sounding incrediable. She had a powerful, gental and its hard to describe really as it would be magical and I would listen to Whitney all day sometimes playing her records, tapes and then CD’s.

I would imagine that her voice was mine and that I wrote them, as they were such great hits and when she died I was devastated as she took a break from music for a while and then came back, and she had so much more to give, that it made me question “How can life workout like that”. Her first album she did rocketed and in the music world that even now it is rare but she did it.

I have all her albums and my favourite song is still for me “The Greatest Love of all” writen by Stevie Wonder, and he released this aswell. but even Stevie couldn’t fault that Whitney’s version put it on the map to success. Stevie Wonder and Whitney did a song together on her album “I’m your baby tonight” and it was a song called “We didn’t know”.

Whitney Houston – All The Man That I Need Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

Whitney was singing at a young age and sang with her mum in a gospal choir and was a true believer of God and her career took off with her very first song “How will I know” and is about how does she know she has found love and does she stand a chance of being in love and she is not sure of the guy wants to be with in love and is hers forever.

I remember hearing from her Second Album she did starting off with the song “I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me” when in Gatwick Airport off to our yearly holiday in Menorca and when I came back bought her second album on Cassette tape and continued to buy her albums, as they were all as good as the last one.

She then changed her music for a while to R&B “That’s not right but its okay” and did as good as the last even though it was a whiles since her soul albums and had a total change of music to make it current.

Whitney Houston - It's Not Right But It's Okay (Official HD Video) - YouTube

Her Cousin that Whitney saw as an Aunt and were so close was, another lady of Soul and Mowtown, Dionne Warwick and she too had a phenominom career as a Music Artist and had many hits that Whitney had good teachers of music in her life, and it was the artists that she collaborated with like George Micheal, Mary J Blige, she had meet that helped cruise herr to the top and those who love her will remain, like me fans forever,

Whitney’s life as a kid wasn’t luxury and were part of a struggling community, that believed in God and music to help them through tought times, like the Partied and racism. She never entetained that and her music was all about Love of everyone including children and love that is unconditional. She like me struggled with reality and continouously battling with herself not feeling good enough.

Many people were surprised by this, but fame does not mean you no longer feel insecure and in fact many who struggle with themselves turn their life around because music, creating records take a lot of work, tells a story which other people can relate to. People who are unconfident in themselves are more passionate and have more drive.

15 Celebs Who Are Related | Whitney houston, Whitney houston pictures, Dionne warwick

Whitney Houston movie career began with the Hit Film The Bodyguard and was about a artist who is at the prime of her career, is targetted because of her fame and received death threats and so Kevin Costner, who plays her bodyguard tries to stop it and Whitney’s charactors isn’t at all impressed at first and is a turbelant relawtionship,

Then she went on to making further films, with music still being her number one passon and marrried another Artist Bobby Brown and they had a daughter together and for while she wasn’t doing so well.

Whitney for me is still a lady of wonderful music and that is how I would like to remember her and I will always listen to her songs as they still give me so much joy and peacefulness.

She was a lady of love and devotion, but sadly the price of fame did arrive and sad that it all ended as there was more to come from her, and did bring out further music but its sad her and her daughter, Bobbi Kristina, left the world as they did.

Thank you Whitney for the music you created with your voice and I miss you but glad your music lives on and for being such an amazing artist of soul.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 30/30 Day Challenge/Blog a day/Changing The Routes of your life/Final Post

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Posted by in career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, EBooks, empowerment, Everyday living, Goal setting, monthly challenges to manage my work, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Team Building, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! This is the last post as part of my 30 day challenge where I have been posting on this site daily and glad I did. This is it for my daily blogs and thank you for the follows and likes I have received and sorry to bombard your inbox of my posts I just wanted to see if I could do it and to grow my content more but now will go back to posting on this site once a week.

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In this post I talking about Changing the Routes to your life from a brainstorm I did before I this challenge and I have already covered on this site about Changing the story of your life and journey which became an EBook check out Amazon.com and under the name Carrie Lee Holmes and making small changes to your life and to do that you do need to make decisions on the route to lead you to having a better life and build it up to an everlasting change.

I have taken different routes in my life like a complete career change to working in Butlins Bognor Regis, temping and then returning to work in London and Chessington etc, and glad I did because it what worked at the time. Now I am ready for a new set of challenges by taking further routes and expanding myself I am glad to have found writing again.

I am able to look at myself now and think “Your doing okay and stay on this route it is heading onto more good things and keeping my spirits high”.

Sometimes it means sitting down again and going back to the drawing board to take a different route and setting new goals.

Scrapping goals is okay as unplanned events can take over and so changing goals is not failure it is re-routing your plans and adapting them to unexpected avenues that have cropped up, and develop new skills and changing the view of your situation.

I have been lucky that I have worked for many organisations and now ready to expand even more and because I was in a Mentalhealth hospital for a month, it really made me re-order my life and made me more guarded and choose my next route to grow myself even further.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X