Category Archives: Boundaries

Life Coaching/”2022 Project”/Make the most of each season in a year

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Each year we change the way we feel depending on the weather and this influences how we eat, sleep and wake up.

I am at the moment listening to Mel Robbins and she is talking about visualisation, and this can help us through the year, by picturing what we want to achieve through the seasons and I like to ask you, do you want to feel stressed? Sad? Fatigued?

Not me! I want to still do my walking and building my steps.

I still want to take my son to different places

I want to make the most of each season, and this is how, by getting rid of the negative thoughts that can surround me example, when it starts to get dark earlier, not having many summer days in the summer, we can’t that, because you can’t change the weather, but we can control how we feel about it, by planning holiday’s to places where it is hot all year round, invest in clothes that can be worn in all seasons, check out my site: https://carriesversitilefashion.wordpress.com

I want to make my birthday be rememberable again, rather than doing nothing because of different things that happened in the past, around my birthday that brings me down, and treat it as a normal day and I didn’t even want to acknowledge it at all.

I went to enjoy myself on my birthday and actually celebrate it. I want a birthday cake and a meal of my choice. I want to post a blog and a picture on Instagram. I no longer want to waste time, and actually use it to lift me up and not down.

We feel down because it has become a habit that I have followed and so feels hard to break the pattern of our thoughts, but it is possible.

When we feel down about certain times of the year, it can be all we are focused on. You can change that by introducing a change of habit. So if you find it hard to get up when it is dark for example, is to create a cozy atmosphere, like drawing the curtains, with a blanket round you, drinking a hot chocolate and watching a film with your family, if you usually just have dinner then go to bed, waking up to feel like it is groundhog day.

I want to change my portfolio, and get rid of more negativity and not feeling the slump I can feel when it begins to get cold outdoors. I now love to wrap myself up and enjoy the crispy mornings and days.

It can only happen if you want to change how you feel when if you don’t like it when it gets too hot. I like summer but I find not heatwaves, because I find it uncomfortable, yet I would love for a overall suntan and when I went on holiday as a kid, a lot of people would ask, “Have you been sitting in the shade?” and I’d be like “No I been in the sun all day”, with sunscreen and it used to bother me when I didn’t tan, yet see others who tanned within two days, and I envied that.

So now I will sit in the sun, but get old earlier morning when it is less hot, perhaps I need a lower factor and give myself a time limit on how long I sit in the sun each time. Perhaps I should invest in more shorts and spend more time in the garden, and visit the English coast more.

I want to go abroad and take my son, but he is not good in hot climates and again rather getting out in the afternoon, when the heat increases, get up early and sit in as the sun come up. So perhaps have freezing cold water for him and lighter clothes.

If you have anxiety when going out in different weathers because of bad experiences, like I for ages as a kid stopped going into the sea as once as a kid at a holiday camp where they had a beach and I tripped in the water and could get myself back up, and I panicked, yet some guy rescued me, but for afterwards would stay clear and also I didn’t like seaweed and would put me off in going into the sea.

Yet now I love it and being near the sea keeps my calm, and that is because I changed the way I felt about beaches and water. That is what you need to do.

Live more and worry less.

I have more content to come, thank you so far for liking my blogs and there will be more videos coming too, please check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching/Being strong and guided

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Posted by in 2022 Programme Life coaching blogs, Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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Hello this another Life Coaching video as part of my Life Coaching programme, “2022 Project”, helping you to have a happier life and a year.

To get to grips with your life, it is good to be strong and guided. This time last year I was in a Mental Health hospital and wished I had known about these places as I would have checked myself in, as like many I found the lockdowns we had, was effecting my mental health, by not being able to go out and explore, and I love walking and visiting different places, but due to Lockdown I couldn’t.

  1. Develop your understanding of what is good in your life and why and what is not, and do you want to be good or the bad?
  2. Never Promise if you can’t deliver, because there is such a thing as false promises and when we don’t follow through we feel failure. Doing is better than promising.
  3. Develop a life that is personal to you. So now I am back walking again, long distances and as soon as I see people running, I feel I am not doing enough, yet walking is just as good and so don’t do things just because of other people but what will benefit you
  4. Get in touch with your spirituality. I have had a tough nine years where I allowed my mental health dictate my life and not getting in touch with myself and so began praying again, because, for me that helps and I listen to my soul and gut rather than my heart and mind
  5. Stop comparing. I should hold a reward for this because I am guilty as sin. I have learnt and I do what suits me and love myself, rather than looking at someone else and feel inadequate
  6. Creating different systems. This came from watching Mel Robbins Reset, check it out, and if you want to remember something like a pair of shoes for walking, I put them out so I can slip them on and go. Being a parent I would make sure I had items I could grab and go, as hate forgetting. Sorry what was that, I said, I don’t like forgetting, so leave items in full view so I know I will remember
  7. Create good patterns. I now make sure I set an alarm in the mornings, to make sure I have a good sleep pattern, as 4 hours sleep which I used to sleep for, did me no good and so I now go to bed between 8 and 9pm and wake up by 8:30am. I don’t have lunch until I go over to my son’s house to wait for him to return from school and stops me snacking and I love reading my book whilst travelling, as i learn a lot this way
  8. Give back what others have given you. I do this by thanking the bus driver for taking me safely to my last stop, I will buy nice cards and presents for family and what I do need to do is remember to write thank you cards, as I always forget and so will make an effort to do this, and feeling bad from not doing so.
  9. Get rid of anger by making changes in your life. Example hating your job, and feel you don’t connect with the people you work with. Look for a new place to work that has a better atmosphere. I had jobs like this, when working for a computer company, and there was a lot of back stabbing and felt so uncomfortable so I left, and followed my dream to work at a Holiday camp and finally got the chance, to leave my old life in London and Surrey for the south coast and was a brilliant experience.
  10. Make yourself be heard, Staying silent never helps and so set boundaries, making it clear of what they are. and stand your ground. This is not contradicting number 9, as you can do this to prevent anger, but just sitting and talking to people and teach others to do the same. Sitting having a conversation about what upsets us, rather than a shouting match.

It is all about keeping your head held high and to realise your value, and that you have a part to play in this world just like everyone else.

I have filmed for my Youtube channel: Typical London Gal, of some Life Coaching videos so go and check these out, this too and creating a board on Pinterest too: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/2022-project-life-coaching-tools-and-information/

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Feeling Sceptical About Life

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Posted by in Boundaries, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Love, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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There will always be events in our lives we have no control over like today in London there was a bus crash and I travel by bus most days, and it questions “Is life worth living when it can be soon be taken?”

I watched a video of Meat Loaf his last ones he made before he died, and in it he was already planning his future and see that even when life can be fragile it can also be a huge lift of “I need to live my life now”

Depressed Sad Woman Being Unhappy Stock Photo - Image of alone, nervous: 100112218

Often we can feel like the world is on our shoulders and that there is no where to go that will lift you out of the feeling of “Is this really my life?” and so we get stuck in that bubble, but you can feel good about your life by making gradual steps, like changing your daily routine and get away from the norm that comes to life.

I remember once when it was my friends birthday and was on a Tuesday, but we met knowing we had work the next day, but we got into a huddle and went clubbing and was such a good night, so doing something to your norm can bring back the life in you. The next day after that Tuesday though, I didn’t go into work and slept in, which I would not promote, but doing the everyday routine can bring us down, and wanting a bit of a change from what you do every single day can make a huge difference to your wellness and health, in terms of how you wake up the next day and want to have more days and nights to do one thing different that you don’t always do. Like when I was up in London would arrange a meet up with friends last minute and staying over at a friends afterwards unplanned.

Never stop planning life and if you fancy meeting someone for an afternoon tea for example then save up, set a date and contact to see who will be able to go with you and have that luxury. It is something I really want to do again and so going to schedule it for it to happen.

I am really want to go and watch a football match again, with my son and have it in my planner on OneNote to have this booked and wanted to take Henry to another show and we are, we are going to see a play about the Gingerman at the Polka Theatre who do a lot of shows for kids and would recommend, oh I am not sponsored them but if someone who works there would like me to, I would say yes definitely.

Life can be full of surprises and if you are fed up in doing the same thing over and over again it can be boring and that is where it can lead you to feel negative about life. I love having things to look forward and it breaks up the days and weeks to come.

I write blogs everyweek and many things planned. If you like to see my first Newsletter I did starting this month, please click the file linked below:

first-weekly-newsletter-january-2022-1Download

I also have three Youtube channels and you kind find a lot of my content on Pinterest, plus I am on social media and so see all the links below, and I have written many books and these can be found on Amazon.com under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVjvO2fsowvFne_iMuG7d1g/videos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW6X7xXVFoaToqlDpGLTtSg

Link for my Pinterest:

Blogs:

https://carriesversitilefashion.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/typicallondongal/

Online Courses:

https://carrieseducationnetwork.thinkific.com/

We all have to share the world and live in it so be honest

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So today has been about Boris Johnson and how him and his party had a full on party when everyone else followed the Social Distancing rules and went through Lockdown and its like the expenses scandal where they denied all knowledge of it, when there is photo evidence.

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We all have to share this world and when people like the Prime Minister goes against his rules in Lockdown makes us lose faith with people in his or her position, and when he was asked he smirked and for me it builds my mind in stereotyping Members of Parliment.

I don’t trust them.

If you want to share this world we should all be achieving the same thing, to make us and everyone in our lives and others happy and be able to live like they wish too, and COVID made us all pull together as we are part of this planet and should be looking after each other, but that we couldn’t see all of our family.

We as sitizens took on board the rules, yet from the evidence seen Boris thinks because he is in top position that is allowed. Really? So what part did that play that you can have a party but we can’t?

We as adults should be setting a good example, and for a better world follow the rules that is set out.

Why make up rules you know you can’t follow yourself as it causes distrust and what MP’s are immune and can do what they like?

Living in this world in which we share what causes the most conflict is dishonesty and feeling that there are double standards, and that people who don’t care but make out they do aren’t the successes we want to see and doesn’t inspire but the cause of why the wrong people take power when there are better people out there.

If you want to be in charge then remember everyone should follow the rules especially those at the head of state, and once they break the rules should not be in position that causes others to do the same.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Inspiring stories: How people have created magic when really it could have flopped

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Posted by in Boundaries, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Goal setting, Inspiring stories, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! This is a post I want to create to talk about How People have created magic when really it could have flopped.

Michael K. Williams Quote: “The most successful people reach the top not because they are free of limitations, but because they act in spite of thei...”

So, I normally I will talk about singers, actors, royality, presenters of TV shows and have built up their lives as a life coach. One being Tony Robbins for example. Who else has changed how we go about ourlives?

Philip Schofield who went from being in the broom cupboard on children’s TV to musicals. Joseph and the technicolour dreamcoat and was the first presenter of kids TV that crossed that line and he turned people’s heads. “How can he be in a musical when he would introduce children’s TV and talk to puppets like Gordon the Gopher and Ed the duck?”

Well by being wellknown and becoming a household name. It seemed at the time, that he was surprised he was wanted by Andrew Llloyd Webber, and it was a risk, yet it worked and did change how we saw people on TV. This is not having two many eggs in one basket.

The film philadelphia bought home how Aids was was percieved when it first came about. How prejudice people would get about someone with HIV, yet it won oscars and was Tom Hanks and the writers that bought it into the light, and made it to one of the most famous films of the world.

There was then the Spice girls who were so different to each other and they broke records with their songs and I remember when living in a housing estate seeing girls copying their dance moves. Their pictures would be advised on bus stops and buses, and made a film and got to meet Prince Charles and Nelson Mandela.

Linford Christie and Usain Bolt. Linford was bought up where I was, Hammersmith and was the most successful athlete of all time for Great Britain and England, and Usain Bolt a local Jamican who slept in a hut for most of his life and family was poor.

This teaches me that, just because on paper it says you will end up cleaning streets, doesn’t mean that you will. If there are miles of stones to cross that strength and determination can create magic wherever you go.

It is about being different and standing out and people who create magic do it because they create things like songs that last a lifetime and films. Its created a life that is possible and that you lived like a person already successful.

Magic can be created by anyone and so challenge yourself to create magic as if you’re already doing so.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! I am going to make sure I blog once or twice a week on this site, but with the school run, not be possible and so if you have been waiting for a new blog on this site, I apologise.

So topic of blog. How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

How many of us have had this experience?

I know it can be a never ending battle, but if they aren’t willing to see things on your point of view, often they never will, so the ball is still in your court on that.

How important is it to have these people still in your life? You need to ask, as can you move away from them?

That is not always possible, but actions can speak wonders.

What do they bring you when you see them? There are people who can be super jealous which leads them to resent everything you say and just want to argue and what they seeing is that. You being happy reflects on them, when no they just using you as an excuse so if they don’t want to hear you, then don’t give them the time. Say to them “If you aren’t willing to listen then we can’t carry on as me being here is not making you happy and you want me to be, so lets talk or move on” this way you are still giving them choice without taking full control over them, but gives them something to think about.

I hate it when it feels like a tug of war, as then I end up not wanting to speak to them and there story has to be worse than yours and it becomes a battle of “Who’s story is the most important” and it should be equal. They listen to you and you listen to them.

Are we made on this planet to get on with everyone? In an ideal world perhaps but not realistically impossible, but you can still be polite rather than hostile and just keeping distant if you can’t move away from them completely.

So what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 29/30 Day Challenge/Blog a day/Getting your life back to normality and making small changes

30 Friday Jul 2021

Posted by in Boundaries, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Goal setting, monthly challenges to manage my work, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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Hello it is day 29 and one day to go until I have completed my 30 Day Challenge to post a blog a day and I have enjoyed it.

It is amazing how you, my auidence has liked it and sorry for filling up your inbox’s being a follower I wanted to see if I could do it and if you right a blog why not give it a try.

In this blog post I am talking about Getting your life back to normality and making small challenges.

6,356,077 Happy People Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from Dreamstime

So the first step is have a destination of where you want the final outcome to be. If you want to begin running for example: What is you vision once you have started to run. Is it to take on a Marathon for a good cause? To do it to overcome a medical reason? Like me my blood sugar level was extremely high and had to change medication and change my diet and lifestyle, buy running each week and start small and then gradually build.

When it comes to making changes its always about having positive results at the end and so the second step would be, find ways that suits you that will helps you reconnect with yourself and with other people.

You speak to someone who you can say how you feel, and not be held against you, but will support you.

I take refuge in keeping a journal and I know its not rocket science and “Yes we’ve heard it before” but that is because even drawing pictures of how you feel can also help you and get in touch with your thoughts and fears. Many an Artist liked to draw and paint out their current thoughts and their are some Adult Community Colleges who teach on creating art.

This is a great way to meet new people and findng new hobbies I wrote about this before hobbies in a parenting blog post check out my parenting blog I write called: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com its never too young to learn something new so why not take up a hobby such as creating art and there are many online courses you can do too.

When it comes to changes it means declutter what you no longer need in your life and so it is good to go through your home of the things you still love and the things you don’t. This is something you can do for everything and that includes sentimental items and things you have won and collected that no longer mean anything to you.

Recycling items. I have used a pot noodle pot as a pen holder and have a box that stores my stickers for my planners and anything filed away on your computer or physically.

It is all about getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. I do write blogs about organization on my google blogspot sites:

  • Organize4thebetter.blogspot.com
  • GetOrganized.blogspot.com

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 15/30 Day Challenge/Opening your mind to judgement

16 Friday Jul 2021

Posted by in Boundaries, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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Commenting on someones weight, commenting on somebody’s life and commenting on someones dreams.

Has this been you? I hate those who judge other people and I have caught myself from doing so and it is “Who are you to judge?” it is not up to me and people say “Yeah in an ideal world” but do you have to judge other people? Getting to know people, yes, listening to people, yes and seeing the big picture of what is truly going on in someones life, yes.

When People Judge: Why It's Not Really About You

There is a 10 commardment of don’t judge those on how you wouldn’t like them to judge you.

Yet people still do it and it seeing it, it’s their actual problem not the person they are judging and in some way they get satisfaction from that.

It is often because it feels good to throw a hurt at someone when it goes for those that judge and making assumptions about people yet they haven’t given that person a chance to be heard yet they expect others just be quiet and its looking down on people for no real reason.

There are people who don’t like my approach in being laid back and flexible, but I have seen better things in doing so and I am a open minded person which gets judged a lot of too.

I am not someone who follows always on how someone else lives but I set standards for myself as I can says I don’t know everything yet in some peoples mind it is “Well you should?” There are things that I am good at like writing and the feedback has been an eye opener and I know that my words are doing more than just words but they do have meaning and when began blogging had no idea of whow they would be received.

So, for me it is:

Get to know that peron who you see. I always go on if they are good and lovely for real its when you actually meet them that counts and you can tell from 5 words if they are really a nice person or not and their body language too.

If you feel that you have been judged then ask them “Why are you judging me?” and be open to then give then a sense of control still but make it clear you have boundaries and you don’t like to be judged and you’ll find if you do it, they are the ones who will begin screaming and shouting.

So look after yourself and #BeKind to yourself too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 5/30 day blog challenge everyday for 30 days/Monday morning post/When losing your way

06 Tuesday Jul 2021

Posted by in Boundaries, career building, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! This is blog number 5 part of my 30 days blog challenge where I will be posting a daily blog until the end of the month. This blog is about When you lose your way.

This is my weekly monday morning post and please checkout this weeks Monday General chat video: What is coming up this week in my content.

Losing Someone Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from Dreamstime

We can be so swallowed up in so many things we need to do that we can lose sight of ourselves and working life can take over. We can feel often left behind by those who seemed to flourish from when they were born and you think “How has it happened to them and not for me?”. This is because we automatically increase our expectations on ourselves, not giving ourselves any real love and attention.

It tends to feed off from someone else. So how to not lose our way?:

  1. Keep tabs on your movement. So take down what you do that makes you feel good and what makes you feel down
  2. Have a time to practice mindfulness as it really is a great way to breath and feel relaxed and take yourself mentally out from the stress to just listen to the birds and away from worry and stress
  3. Have time doing something you have been putting off and how much it causes anxiety get it done by rewarding yourself afterwards
  4. Practice praying and creating new visions for your life. If something is causing you to dread each day, then go through it with a note pad and why it is stressing you out, and pray and then create the vision of you doing this difficult task and the positive outcome when task is completed
  5. Go with your gut instinct. This often is how we protect ourselves and how we know to stand back or go for it and often we can ignore it. Trust your gut and stop doubting yourself

So this is it for this blog and I will writing for this challenge and many thanks for your time in reading the post,

Carrie X

Day 4 of my 30 day blog challenge/Switch your mindset/Being Powerful in life

04 Sunday Jul 2021

Posted by in Boundaries, career building, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, monthly challenges to manage my work, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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So this is for Day 4 of my 30 day blog challenge, where I will be posting a blog each day on this site so this will be scheduled for tomorrow Sunday and is all about Switch your mindset and being powerful in life.

Want to lead a stress-free, happy life? Doing this might help | Health News | Zee News

When you switch your mindset it means that instead of going straight for the negative voice and movie you play in your mind to the good voice and the happy image you see. When we are low and we feel not happy in us we can from experience, pass it on to other people or question and not like happy people as it feels “Why are they so happy what must they smile when it is not what I feel”. We can’t expect people to change if they do not wish to, and it has to be from yourself.

From someone who lacked confidence and super anxious it would go through “What if this happens and how I feel if I fail?”. it is not about failure it is about what you want to receive back from life if you don’t like what your life is currently at. How I switched it was when I put on a lot of wait being on the pill and my mum rang to tell me I had put on weight and to lose weight and I remember feeling so shallow of what I had become. I came off the pill and then my weight reduced immediately and began running and exercising and wanted to do the London Marathon. I still haven’t done that London Marathon but did a half of one instead.

I had to educate myself learning about fitness and nutrition and read a book all about food and how it can be a great source of medicine. This is true I began healthy eating and lowered my potions and then few year later I put weight on again due to actual medication which then got changed and once again I lost weight.

I had to change how I felt about myself in order to get where I wanted to be and that was achieving the things I had dreamt of and it was basically changing my routine, so going for a run as soon as I got up in the mornings, doing a run on a Sunday and then made more effort in terms of clothes. Before this though when first working at a Holiday camp because I was burning off from working in Restaurants and in the evening venues I lost a tone of weight and I was again dressing confidentally and then I was seeing someone on camp who turnout to be a low life and then met someone else there who was a dream and had to stand on my own too feet which I did and then I was married to not that person but someone who I was working with and then moved back to London, but during that time I had hit a low point.

It did mean I had to sort myself out and so I did. Looking at my life now I feel that it has made me a stronger person and seen the qualities I have that I never knew before and feel so powerful as I now have parts of my life sorted out and I think it was determination I have had all through my life.

So if something is wrong switch it, develop new habits, new skills and set goals, as without them I would have never gotten myself together and is what has helped me build my life and I do feel there is more to add to that. So dream, plan and switch you mindset so you can be the happiest you have ever been too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X