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Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Category Archives: Boundaries

Monday Morning Post/Toxic People and it be contagious

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Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Bullying, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Freedom, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Related pages, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello! Yes this post is a little late, but that was because I slept in, but still want to write it. If you would like to read more of my Monday Morning posts then click on this link here: Monday Morning posts

So in this blog post I am going to be talking about Toxic people and it can be contagious. Well bascially they are those who feel that they are unworthy if they don’t stamp their authority and try to control every aspect of your life and they make days a challenge because you find that you get driven in a power struggle, and start to score points over them, which they do to you.

“Their headache is worser than yours”

I never go to bed angry because I always win the argument. | Flirting  quotes funny, Flirting quotes, Flirting quotes for him

They begin to nip pick over everything you do, and this is a form of abuse and bullying, and then you end up having to answer for everything you say and do. They drain you out of happiness and energy because they want you to have a bad day, because they are and don’t like anything you do that makes you happy.

This can then turn on you as you begin to lose faith in people and become angry and resentful yourself. They can make you hate the world and not want to get out of bed, and make you into being like them and not who you are. Feeling like you have lost your identity can summon up toxic people and they will use even going on holiday seem like the worst thing in the world and feel as if it is hard work.

“You can never seem to get a break”

48 Stressed out! ideas | stress, stressed out, humor

They will often guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail, and even when you try to agree with them they hold that against you, and you end up feeling like its just best to let them waggle on and don’t allow them to victimise you as this is a trait of a toxic person and you find that you have inner strength that they don’t, being the better person by standing your ground, and it is in fact a sign of weakness on their behalf, not yours.

I find that they are people who worry so much about time, and be the ones you end up leaving things to the last minute, and then they use that to attack you. Often they want you to hit them to justify their toxic behaviour and so I have learned since I was a kid to switch off, and you can do this too, just find a quiet place even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom, putting some chill out music and taking a bath.

“Noone should be bogged down because of someone elses stress”

ᐈ Funny stress relief stock images, Royalty Free stress management pictures  | download on Depositphotos®

They use their behaviour to twist and turn everything you do and say, and if you have #mentalhealth issue, they will often use this as amunition to get at you, and you can have them arrested for Victimisation on this subject and now noone is allowed to challenge you if you have a mental health issue, but then they can use this to get at you because they are that toxic they use mental health as an attacking mechanism, and they can also control you so much that they end up imprisoning you because they are frightened of you having a better life, because they blame you because they haven’t and will never be, because they use their Toxic personality to be selfish and resentful of everyone around you and drain you of being a entraupner.

“They don’t like seeing people be successful and want everyone to drown in a puddle of uncarelessness”.

Free Dream Symbols: Water, Rivers, Oceans and Ice | Doug Addison

So if you are surrounded with these kinds of people then,

  • Fight back
  • Call for help
  • Report

Noone should be drive by these types of people and be happy. Everyone deserves the life they love and not have that destroyed.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

P.S: You can read all my blogposts and videos on my site:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com

Monday Morning Post/Making the most of my time whilst in Lockdown

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Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, career building, Creating a vision, Everyday living, Freedom, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Printables, Related pages, Weekly posts

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Being productive, better living, Everyday living, everyone can build a castle, finding time to do the things you love, have more down time, having time for yourself, having well balanced lifestyle, life balance, Lockdown ideas, making the most of my time whilst in Lockdown, managing your work life balance, monday morning weekly post, my pinterest boards, not being bogged down with tasks, stop repetitive days, Wordpress weekly blog post

Hello, so yeah it is late in the day but I am still going to go with it, as I like to stick to my blog routine and so this post is about Making the most of my time whilst in Lockdown and one of the things I have been doing is, creating some new boards on Pinterest which I am going to share with you so see here:

  • Seasonal Living
  • Meal Ideas for those I love on Youtube
  • Make up, fashion and beauty on Youtube
  • British Legacy
  • Classic TV Shows
  • My Favourite Shows
  • Hauls Groceries, fashion and other things
  • Joke of the day

There is more that if I added them would make this blog super long, so If you would like to visit my Pinterest page then do. Here is the link:

I have updated my blog network site, where I put all my blogs and videos I do weekly, so do check this out:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com

I like to have different things to do each week and I haven’t felt restricted if I were to be truly honest. I know there will be those who will be getting fed up of trying to be busy still by cleaning which is always the bottom of my list, and feel that there is only so much cleaning you can do, without being fed up of wiping the same service each time. What I would say is to implement more down time then and don’t feel guilty about it.

Image result for free clipart images of someone relaxing watching TV

I bet now with Lockdown there are people etching to be back in a more work based environment as with kids being home too, can be tricky and you can begin to lose the plot a bit.

I would and going to implement it when I am back with my son fully again, is have a timetable still but with fun and flexible activities and so here is a blog post I wrote about, Home Classes you can do with your kids: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/2021/02/13/good-home-learning-classes-for-your-kids/

Still block schedule which I have spoken a lot about and it is blocking time through your day to do various different activities, so like for me between say 10 to 12noon, Go through blogs and videos schedule, afternoon: Lunch, Catch up on Youtube, take a break and then evening work on book, plan for the next day and take a shower.

my-block-scheduleDownload

It is important to make time for your kids but have a time where you can easily do things you need to get done without your kids crying for some attention.

I make sure I have a cut of time of when I get up and when I finish my work for the day so I still got balance and don’t get repetitive days and make time for the things I enjoy more than the things I don’t.

Lockdown, doesn’t have to mean the end of freedom or your life but implenting things that can still bring you happiness in the day and not feel worn down by do much juggling and balancing of things to do.

So looks like this could all shift by Easter and I am so in need for a McDonalds, a music festival, a football match and a browse around the shops I Love.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

How to handle those who try to destroy and never support you

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Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, Everyday living, Freedom, how to deal with those that drag you down, Inspiring stories, journal, Love, New Beginnings, new year, People, Personal Development, Related pages

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be with people who have your back, being excluded, being inprisoned, being isolated, bullying at home, Emotional abuse, everyone can build a castle, feeling like you can never win, How to defend yourself when you have people bullying you, how to stop reacting against bad people, physical abuse, safe haven, those who twist your words, turning your kids against you

Mommy Clipart Sad - Sad Mother Clipart - Free Transparent PNG Clipart  Images Download

Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.

I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.

Here is a link to my previous post:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/27/reflecting-on-the-year-2020/

So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,

  • Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
  • Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
  • Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
  • If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
  • Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
  • If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
  • They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
  • If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
  • They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
  • They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”

Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.

Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.

Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.

Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.

I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie (L.M) X

Dealing with the Inner Critic

04 Monday May 2020

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, career building, Cheat sheet, Everyday living, Personal Development

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Be ruthless, Cheat sheet, dealing with the inner critic, everyonecanbuildacastle, Social Anxiety

Inspiring words to help you silence your inner critic and build ...

As human beings we can be driven by our Inner Critic.

That voice can go on and on, telling you,  your wasting your time and don’t bother getting out of bed do it tomorrow.

However not being Mrs Doom and Gloom, what if tomorrow never came?

Neither of us know what is around the corner. I have often seen things before they have happened, example I knew that my mum was going to end up with Tot (my step dad) ages before they got together, but not sure if this was coincidence or just a thought.

When it comes to dealing with the Inner Critic be ruthless with yourself and say “No I am going to go for run today” even if the Inner Critic keeps on and is constant.

Don’t ignore the Inner Critic because from my own experience when you do the voice can get stronger, so acknowledge it and tell it to “Shut up” get up out of bed, put your running gear by your bed on, which I would always suggest you so the night before and before the Inner Critic can continue go for a run.

With the Inner Critic it can effect our everyday lives, like when we write a letter, a book or a blog, going on examples. This voice is our protector in a way, as often as humans we can sniff out danger or that the letter isn’t good, so you proof read and edit it until it is good.

What you don’t want to do is allow it to take over, because once it does it can make you think Rapidly and then stop you in your tracks, talking you out of it, then you feel guilty for not doing what you wanted and it has ended up not being anything to really worry about at all.

I remember one work Christmas Party and it was a new job but being shy and suffering with Social Anxiety didn’t want to go, well I am glad I did because it was brilliant. Yes I did get drunk, but from that point forward really got to know my new colleagues and began to fit in. 

Keep a Journal to answer the Inner Critic and what you really think and what you should do. Example you have split from your boyfriend and you then have the Inner Critic telling you that you shouldn’t have done that, make bullet points as to why you did and then read them out, and create a new plan of action to move on.

When relationships breakdown there is a reason, so write in your journal about it to address the topic, and face the voice by looking in a mirror imaging the Inner Critic is in front of you head on and say “GO AWAY”, silence it by imagining the voice getting quieter and quieter until it is completely muted.

Then reducing the image of the Critic until it completely disappears.

Try doing this several times and you will no longer be dictated by the Inner Critic, but by the voice that is in your gut instead.

I have done a cheat for you to download with this activity and you can even stick it on the wall, and try it every time the Inner Critic speaks.

Dealing with the Inner Critic Cheat Sheet

I hope you have found this information helpful, and remember to follow me on WordPress.com to keep up to date with my posts.

Please leave a comment below to tell me how you deal with your Inner Critic.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

Building a Foundation around you

02 Saturday May 2020

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Everyday living, Goal setting, New Beginnings, Personal Development

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blog, Blogger, Blogspot, building a foundation around you, creating a foundation and following the unplanned, Creating success in your life, everyone can build a castle, feelings

www.hdnicewallpapers.comHello and welcome to another blog. In today’s post I am writing about Building a Foundation around you. Now I did do another blog a long while ago called,

Creating a foundation and following the unplanned

Since this blog my life has changed. My marriage has come to and end, some jobs I was doing didn’t workout, yet I still feel I have built a good foundation.

There are people out there who I have been working with who believe in my blogs and books which have become my full time job. I am writing a book called Everyone Can Build a Castle, because I have had so much positive feedback that I thought it was time.

It is important to have a team especially if you are a blogwriter and also do other jobs, because it can become overwhelming, so having someone you can delegate jobs to is a “must have” in my book.

It has been a very difficult year but now I have met the man of my dreams who has bought the word “Love” back into my life. Being in love again is truly special and a new life is beginning for me.

Sometimes in order to create foundation you have to do some searching and may take time to know them, but once you have built that foundation and you can sleep at night you know you are on the right track for success.

However there will be people who will try and manipulate, stir trouble or be a negative person, but never let these people dictate and let them wallow in their misery.

ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM!

What you want to do is have a good set of people who can jump in when you fall, and be your Rock.

Please remember to follow me if you wish to be kept up to date with my blogpost. I am now planning on blogging on this site everyday and so I will be back with a post tomorrow aswell.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link

Newsletter blog

01 Friday May 2020

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Bullying, Personal Development, Related pages, Useful articles

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10 tips on dealing with betrayal, articles, blog, Blogger, Blogspot, everyonecanbuildacastle, good reads, link, newsletter

Hi everyone! Yes it is Friday and if you have been like me working you nuts off then hats off to you.

We will get through this Pandemic and please do stay safe.

Thank you to all of you who have read and now are following this blog site and please do give me feedback of topics on this site you would like me to cover. You can leave a comment below.

In this blog I am linking my weekly newsletter blog, talking about 10 Tips on Dealing with betrayal:

https://newsletterthoughtsandadvicefortheweek.blogspot.com/2020/05/10-tips-on-dealing-with-betrayal.html

Have a great weekend and see you next week

 

Carrie X

 

 

Home truths

30 Thursday Apr 2020

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Everyday living, Inspiration board, Inspiring stories, Personal Development, Related pages

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blog, blog writing, Blogger, Blogspot, Building confidence, everyone can build a castle, home truths, inspiration, negative people

Library of two people arguing clipart royalty free download png ...This year I have learned some home truths and that is some people are not what they seem to be and have become a huge disappointment.

I suffer with Social Anxiety and have done for years, but I have come to learn that it all depends on the people I have chosen to hang around with.

Since this year I have met some wonderful people, but there is always those who drag you down.

STOP THEM AND SHUT THEM DOWN!

I wrote a blog called,

Dealing with negative people

It can be these people that cause other people to self sabotage and make you feel worthless, let me tell you that this is not about you, but them, so ignore them if you can and let them know that you aren’t happy with them.

YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO FIGHT BACK 

I am a loyal person always have been and I stick with people through thick and thin, but I have been hurt by these people, that I have had no choice but to walk away. Relationships are hard and they do come in all shapes and sizes. I think that is why my blog community has grown, because when I believe in something like this blog people can see that and can relate to it.

Let me tell you now that you are worth it and go for the dream job you want or the lifestyle. No one has the right to tell you how to live and who you should be friends with, or that they shouldn’t do something.

As long as it has good intentions then go for what you want and aim for bigger and better things.

People have a dream and vision for a reason so pursue it and forget those who are jealous.

I will hold my hands up I have been jealous too and it is not a nice feeling as you become begrudging when do I really want to see someone fall or succeed? 

I want people to succeed in their life, not hurt anyone and thrive at what they do. No one has the right to drag anyone down because they’ve had a bad day, but be a shoulder to cry on if they do wish to discuss matters with you, rather than screaming and shouting.

Jealousy comes in all shapes and sizes, and for me is like having a parasite in the pit of your stomach to the point you feel this anger and resentment. It can eat away at you, and you end up questioning yourself, so I try go by the commandments in the Bible, which is,

TREAT THOSE HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED  

I don’t like having a pop at someone, it isn’t in my nature but I will find my voice when someone I feel is having a cheap shot at me, and that I am not going to let it make me dive but to survive and succeed, and so should you.

So be happy within yourself and create a good foundation of people around you. I love being around others who want the same outcome as me, and that is to be a successful writer, to work in comedy, music and football.

It does come with hard work and you do have to be committed but it doesn’t mean you can’t go out and get it.

So good luck  and I hope you succeed and let me know of the things you have wanted to to do and achieved. I love hearing about these types of stories as I find it so inspiring and let me tell you have my backing all the way.

Remember you can keep up to date with all my blog posts on WordPress.com by following me.

All my blogposts can be found on carriesblognetwork!

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas

30 Saturday Nov 2019

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Books, Boundaries, Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, Cheat sheet, Everyday living, Goal setting, Inspiration board, Inspiring stories, Love, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Printables, Scammed, Useful articles, Youtube videos

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articles, Blogmas, Books, carriesrealworld.com, Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, finish the year on a high, Good things about Christmas, Lets get ready for Blogmas, sportsand fitnesspassion, the parenting adventures, topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard, videos, Youtube

Lets get ready for blogmas

This year I have decided that I would do Blogmas to help get me and everyone who reads or who are new to my blogs, in the mood for Christmas and so this means I will be posting blogs everyday from tomorrow (1st Dec) to Christmas Day (25th Dec) on my various sites that I write blogs on, including this one.

The links to my other sites are as follows:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

There may be some videos, articles, books and various topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard for some people and like myself there was a time when I dreaded Christmas.

However there are good things about Christmas too and will be sharing how you can finish this year with a bang by creating positive changes into your life that will set you up to have a better Christmas and finish the year on a high.

If there is a particular topic you would like me to talk about that will help you then please leave a suggestion by adding a comment below. You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site and my others by following on WordPress.com.

You can also see my posts on  Pinterest and my social media pages too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great weekend,

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Creating a foundation and following the unplanned

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Personal Development

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Building, Creating a foundation, Determination, developing your life, everyonecanbuildacastle, family, Fear, goals, Learning and developing, life skills, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, succeeding, the unplanned, visualisation

The one thing I have learned from being a child, a teenager and an adult, is that the more of a foundation you create, the more you will be able to handle rejection, criticism and general negativity in your life.

You will never stop anyone from feeling negative towards you, there will always be people who will see things differently to you, but it doesn’t really mean they are wrong or you are, and there will always be, no matter what, people who do nothing more than bring you down. They want to bring you to their level to make them feel good, no matter what.

My advice,

Leave them in their misery”

“If they never have anything good to say, then let this be their problem, not yours. Never allow these people to stop you from what you believe in or what you want to do with your life as that is exactly what they want”*

 


What type of foundation should you want to create?

One that makes you smile when you feel down, and gives you fulfillment, gives you security and reassurance.

Those people around you, who know how to bring you back to earth, and let you know that if what you plan in your life doesn’t go to plan, they still have your back at the end of the day.


There is the negative and the positive foundation

Those who will instantly bring you up and those who will instantly bring you down, those who will purposely lead you down a bad road, and you end up hurting yourself and others.

How many stories do we read of famous people who end up with the people who dictate what they should wear, eat and who they should be in a relationship with, and ended up being with someone that changes their life forever, leading them into drugs and drink, and before they know it, their life is out of control.


Did they have a good or bad foundation?

I don’t believe people actually wake up in the morning to have a bad day.

If there was a pill to bring people happiness, I guarantee it would sell out within a day. I believe that people all want to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled, because what is the point of being alive if not?

People who become famous for example, for singing, acting and creating worldwide businesses, obviously felt that this talent couldn’t got to waste and had a purpose to their life.

I never believe someone who becomes famous plans to fail or go down the wrong path, and purposely sets a bad foundation, but it can too often be because the people supporting them can often get lead by the fame too, and are forever saying “Yes” and not “No” and when people get used to people saying “Yes” to their needs, they can often go against those who say “No” when they are the ones who are trying to help them the most.

They get lost in the world of fame and find it hard to bring themselves up into the realworld again.

Then there are those who have started of with a poor foundation, or started of with a bad foundation, but through determination, strength and never letting any challenges pull them down, have thrived to create an amazing foundation, that can never be taken down, no matter what.

The one person who strings to my mind when I think of this, is famous people like Richard Branson, who started selling things out of the boot of his car and created one of the most famous brands in the world. Virgin.

However you don’t have to become a multi millionaire or even billionaire to create a good foundation, which can become unbreakable. Sometimes people who come from nothing to a millionaire can seem like they have a good foundation, but then get out of control and ended up bankrupt.

I remember reading one of Paul McKenna’s books and he described that even though he was in the prime of his career, how he felt empty and not completely fulfilled as he had hoped.

I remember the girl bad TLC, from the 90’s and they had a hit with “Don’t go chasing Waterfalls”, and looked like they were on the road to an amazing lifelong singing career, only for it to all come crashing down.

Now the bad no longer exist. Well I haven’t heard anything since watching VH-1 years ago, when they did a documentary on their career.

All the money they had made from their hits, had gone.

There will always be times when you will trip and fall, but creating a foundation around you will help support you.

I am also a great believer in that sometimes the unplanned is better than the plan, when something out of the blue occurs and it feels amazing and then you start to develop a foundation to maintain that unplanned event, that has changed your life.

An Example: I went to work down in Bognor Regis, as I wanted to work within a holiday camp and work within the entertainments department.

That never happened. Instead I met my now husband, and then within a year we were living together, and now 14 years later, we are married with a son, which was the greatest gift ever.


That has become my foundation.  

The roads we choose may vary, and it may take several routes for us to get where we really truly want to be, but with the correct people around us, to help us in our journey we are more than likely to succeed.

Be weary of who you choose. It is okay to be picky, just make sure that they suit you, and meet your expectations, are honest with you and you in turn respect them and treat them as part of a team, and give credit when it is due, there is nothing worse when you have helped someone, and they haven’t even said thank you.

My son and husband are my foundation. When I feel low, I just have to take one look at them and I feel good, I know I have something to succeed for.

I knew going to Bognor Regis I would gain my independence and find a life of my own, and I did just that. I did try getting into the entertainments side, but by then I was on the road to another path, and found my passion for fitness, taking on charity runs and did my first half marathon, I then found my passion again for writing and here I am.

Continuing with the foundation I already have, I have now started to create a another foundation, by having my own income again, for the next path, and I am no longer worried about following the initial plan, but setting myself goals and targets.

It isn’t about the plan, but what you learn and discover as you go about your life.

Related blog I recommend: http://balanceinme.com/blog/life-balance-foundation/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Boundaries

01 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries

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Boundaries, Celebrity Big Brother, Clashes of peronalities, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, Overstepping the line, Protecting ourselves from those committing bad boundaries, Setting Boundaries

When I first wrote this in my notepad I thought about this when watching Celebrity Big Brother where Perez Hilton began to be what I perceived to be sexually explicit in the Big Brother garden, and it did shock me and disgust me.

It made me think is this crossing a boundary?

I know there will be those reading this, saying “That’s an understatement”, but everybody’s perception of boundaries are different as everyone has a different set of boundaries. There are the good boundaries which you know you fear but you also know that once you’ve taken the courage to cross that good boundary it will make you feel like you have accomplished an ultimate achievement in your life.

Then there are the bad boundaries which you know if someone crosses it will influence how you view them and if you would like this person in your life or not.

Is it important to set boundaries?

Yes the ones that you know will effect your day in a negative way and will cause offence to other people around, are the ones you know will loose your respect for that person crossing that bad boundary and you will no longer see them in a positive light anymore. It is important we let a person know if they have gone too far, it is not always the case of walking away and ignoring them.

When watching that episode of Celebrity Big Brother, I thought, does Perez have any boundaries?

At first I thought after that activity he did in the garden (those who have been watching will know what I am referring to) he can’t have. However watching a couple of episodes afterwards where Katie Hopkins was being I think quite childish towards him trying to isolate him and bring him down, I realised he does.

He knows when someone has gone to far and crossed one of his boundaries which caused him to get upset. I do think both are playing a game in the Celebrity Big Brother house, Katie Hopkins as much as I detest her, I do find her fascinating because she is playing a very clever game. I know some will differ from this opinion, but I really think she is.

However even she has boundaries, which I can clearly see and it can cause clashes, but you should stand up to someone if they do cross one of your boundaries. The way she does it is by giving a comment which causes alarm and I see she knows that too, she knows what will create more a shock reaction (i.e. Crossing some of the house mates boundaries) but there is another way, just saying “That is out of order” then explaining why can be enough, you don’t have to be confrontational, and a lot of CBB is edited for us at home, it wouldn’t be seen as good TV if everyone was getting on and being nice to each other, that is why they select different personalities, they know there will be  clashes from people in the group.

If you watch clearly you can see each of their boundaries and what each celebrity sees as a good boundary and a bad one to them. I think even opting to go into the CBB house is a boundary and can be a good or bad experience.

Writing about this it made me think about mine

What are my own boundaries?

Referring to the definition of boundaries:

Sourced from Wikipedia

Personal boundaries – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

– If I know someone is being spiteful and rude for no reason.
– Mental and physical abuse which I suppose is related to the above.
– Dishonesty, people not being truthful.
I am no way perfect, I have and had my moments where I have behaved which others have seen as negative and wrong, and they have pulled me up on it. I am sure many of us have, but it is how you learn from them that matters. You can either continue to behave badly which ends up upsetting you and the people around you; or take responsibility and make sure you change this negative behaviour so you feel better about yourself and others on how they perceive you.
This is why having boundaries are important because it helps you learn about yourself and others to create more positive feelings in your life and theirs too.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X

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