When I first wrote this in my notepad I thought about this when watching Celebrity Big Brother where Perez Hilton began to be what I perceived to be sexually explicit in the Big Brother garden, and it did shock me and disgust me.
It made me think is this crossing a boundary?
I know there will be those reading this, saying “That’s an understatement”, but everybody’s perception of boundaries are different as everyone has a different set of boundaries. There are the good boundaries which you know you fear but you also know that once you’ve taken the courage to cross that good boundary it will make you feel like you have accomplished an ultimate achievement in your life.
Then there are the bad boundaries which you know if someone crosses it will influence how you view them and if you would like this person in your life or not.
Is it important to set boundaries?
Yes the ones that you know will effect your day in a negative way and will cause offence to other people around, are the ones you know will loose your respect for that person crossing that bad boundary and you will no longer see them in a positive light anymore. It is important we let a person know if they have gone too far, it is not always the case of walking away and ignoring them.
When watching that episode of Celebrity Big Brother, I thought, does Perez have any boundaries?
At first I thought after that activity he did in the garden (those who have been watching will know what I am referring to) he can’t have. However watching a couple of episodes afterwards where Katie Hopkins was being I think quite childish towards him trying to isolate him and bring him down, I realised he does.
He knows when someone has gone to far and crossed one of his boundaries which caused him to get upset. I do think both are playing a game in the Celebrity Big Brother house, Katie Hopkins as much as I detest her, I do find her fascinating because she is playing a very clever game. I know some will differ from this opinion, but I really think she is.
However even she has boundaries, which I can clearly see and it can cause clashes, but you should stand up to someone if they do cross one of your boundaries. The way she does it is by giving a comment which causes alarm and I see she knows that too, she knows what will create more a shock reaction (i.e. Crossing some of the house mates boundaries) but there is another way, just saying “That is out of order” then explaining why can be enough, you don’t have to be confrontational, and a lot of CBB is edited for us at home, it wouldn’t be seen as good TV if everyone was getting on and being nice to each other, that is why they select different personalities, they know there will be clashes from people in the group.
If you watch clearly you can see each of their boundaries and what each celebrity sees as a good boundary and a bad one to them. I think even opting to go into the CBB house is a boundary and can be a good or bad experience.
Writing about this it made me think about mine
What are my own boundaries?
Referring to the definition of boundaries:
Sourced from Wikipedia
Personal boundaries – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
– If I know someone is being spiteful and rude for no reason.
– Mental and physical abuse which I suppose is related to the above.
– Dishonesty, people not being truthful.
I am no way perfect, I have and had my moments where I have behaved which others have seen as negative and wrong, and they have pulled me up on it. I am sure many of us have, but it is how you learn from them that matters. You can either continue to behave badly which ends up upsetting you and the people around you; or take responsibility and make sure you change this negative behaviour so you feel better about yourself and others on how they perceive you.
This is why having boundaries are important because it helps you learn about yourself and others to create more positive feelings in your life and theirs too.
Many thanks for reading,