Category Archives: Personal Development

Life Coaching/Manipulative People/Gain control/Give them Control/Be on guard

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:

Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.

They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.

These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.

What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.

When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.

If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.

People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.

So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.

#letworktogther to be happy and have a wonderful Wednesday.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday Weekly Post/Monday Vid/Events you can’t control and the things you can

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, journal, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! It is Monday late afternoon and I have Monday video for you to share, and this in video I talk about Events you can’t control and the things you can.

It is all about how you see things. When I have a traumatic event in my life that I couldn’t control I would automatically shut down to spend time coming to terms with and then give myself time to move on. For me it is gradual process, but what I have done that has always been the one thing that has helped me gain perspective, as that is the key, is to journal and then say, “Okay so where do i want to go now and how will I go about giving myself peace in addressing this event, so it doesn’t hurt me any more?”.

Life is about building and rebuilding as certain events we can’t control like COVID, comes into our life to turn it upside down, so it has meant that many having to work at home whilst the kids are shouting and screaming, being off school and then having to be the teacher aswell as the parent. Some people can easily adjust to this when others are left with thinking “Where do i start?”

For me it was “Okay, I will in this time spend that amount of time with Henry, so in the morning and then this amount of time to do work”. You find a way and for me it meant working and using the evenings, weekends when he would be looked after by someone else to have a break, and it is “Take one step at a time”.

Never rush in, but say “How can I deal with this and make it pain free?” So use some of the time to all of you in the family including your kids create a family meal. I do believe that Cookery should be bought back into schools, having your kids organize the grocery shopping for a change. If we aren’t have a load of picnic’s in the park, why not have one in the garden.

As I see it “You find a way of making it easy” and follow the day.

So, more blogs to come and have a good rest of the week.

many thanks for watching my videos and reading this blog,

Carrie L.M X

Concentrating on Good Things In life that can empower you through the year

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and I am writing this on Sunday, but I don’t post any live blogs on this day so will be up live tomorrow.

So Concentrating on Good Things In life that can empower you through the year.

Find what makes you tick, and look for inspiring videos that can give you empowerment. When I used to go running and I had that “I have no energy to do a run” I found some running motivation videos on Youtube and listening to one of those made me go out and run, before I changed my mind again.

We often at times look at our lives and our rooms, and homes thinking “My world cluttered, I feel overwhelmed and feel like I am never gonna be tidy or stress free”, but yes you can.

I wrote a book on amazon.com about making one change a day:

Things to Change one day at a time : Life doesn’t have to be fast pace but easy, simple and flexible by [Carrie Lee Holmes ]

Doing one thing a day can make a huge difference and what empowers me everyday is listening to music, just one or two songs, and that helps kick start my day.

Plan a day just for you, as we all deserve a day where we can be lazy or some people I know love Sundays For example to have a day in bed. I did this some weekends and it is just to relax not have to rush anywhere, no errands or to dos and just a day of Peace and Quiet.

Spend time documenting days where you see family and friends, or now we are soon I hope to be out of Lockdown that you can see family again and why not film to development more happy Memories and why not plan a Post Lockdown Family reunion.

Watch videos or documentaries that inspire you and make you get the most of each day. I sometimes if I have a Takeaway will watch a comedy series i haven’t watched for a while and I try to do different things at the weekend, and it is good to have a Takeaway Friday or Pizza Tuesday or Saturday. I even like today as i wrote this love having a Curry Sunday rather than roast.

I also have days where I don’t wear make up and days when I do, and have created a photobook to help me remind of looks I have done and it really has helped with my confidents and feel good about myself.

Have breakfasts at the weekend or during Holiday days that you wouldn’t have in a normal week. I love a cooked breakfast sometimes and i will eat a lot more fruit, and I have a separate Travel Journal that I keep especislly for holidays. I love documenting good days aswell some challenging days.

Jusr get as much out of each day as possible and make time for from the norm and use what inspires you to have a better, happy and fulfilling life.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Life Coaching/How to be a Mentor to others

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Posted by in career building, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! Watching Prince Philips Funeral it made me see that he wasn’t just a father, Prince and a husband, he was also a Mentor, and that is a role that can stem from experience and helping kids not make mistakes that he did as a young man and boy.

4,607 Window Cleaning Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

To be a Mentor you have to be approachable and give support to those who want you to use your experience and knowledge for them and give guidance. The Duke of Edinburgh would lead the troops and the foot shoulders to help protect him, the Queen his wife and his family and yes he did come from a priviledged back ground, but never forgot those who didn’t and this is why he created the Duke of Edinburgh Award.

It is good to teach kids life skills that will help them in the future and even fello adults, as we are always learning, and it can be as simple as teaching someone who to create a C.V, practice Job Interview skills and do odd jobs.

Many kids when I was growing up helped the local milkman who came round our estate, would do a paper round, like I did at Sunday school did Community work, by picking up rubbish and at my Secondary School I did a Community Sports Leader Award, which was a very good qualification I did and it is basically putting together a sports programme or session for kids.

There are Mentoring Schemes in the UK that you can do, and they are run by local non-profit organisations and it can be like my Aunty Min used to do, and that is Dog Walking.

Having a Dad who was a Window Cleaner was very handy and an Uncle who was a Postman, and we had a friend who was a Carpet fitter, work for the local cleansing departments in London, as we will always need people doing these jobs.

Never underestimate those industries as it does mean working very early in the morning, but what they do is discipline you and get your structured so if in the end you want to teach others to do these jobs and use it to work for yourself, like Window Cleaning you can.

People like Mentors as they are usually normal folk who want to help others into work and have a purpose in life.

So if you have Skill to share why not do so as they can be valuable lessons and can help ground and build for a wonderful future.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

When Bestfriends Damage your Health physically and Mentally

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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So, I did a blog about how Bestfriends can help your health, but what happens when a friend turns out to be an enemy and can damage our health physically and mentally.

When I become a friend of someone I become a friend for life, and so for me the relationship of friendship is important to me and what I see in a friend is someone who loves your company like you to with them, and have many things in common.

If they start to make snidy comments, start excluding you from nights out and use you to be friends with other people then blank you, it can then develop into not feeling like you don’t belong, to feeling of self-worth and that you in someway have upset them but you don’t know why. With friendships if I feel it is starting to turn I keep away and will further the gap between them.

1# Have some guard up and don’t be so trusting

They will comeback and be all nice again, yet as soon as another friend turns up they partner with them to then push you out of the way.

In this instants for me I tend to leave them be and say “They’ll soon come back and if there is another friend I can talk to, then I do”.

2# Never see is as it is you, because it isn’t it is them.

Friends can make you worry about certain things that you didn’t before like you body image and that like i experienced i was told by a girl at school that i was boring about talkng about my favourite TV show The Bill and that i would talk about my holiday to America.

It did hit a nerve, but I did lose all respect by those that was also part of that, and that person who said this to me started talking about The Bill and so it was okay for her, but no for me.

3# When you see triggers like this, its time to move away and keep your boundaries and let them know what your boundaries are

Friends because they are you friends see it as an excuse to be unkind, but it is also the gut instinct to say “No I am not feeling this friendship now its time to move away”.

Please never fear there are always other friendships.

You can become Socially awkward and go back into the shell you once lived in and hid. You can start to have Social Anxiety because you feel in adequant around friends who make you feel this way.

4# If it is a group of friends turning on you, find the instigator and have a word with them alone. You’ll see its because they feel you are weaker then then but when you want to chat with you they don’t. They turn on you, cause they see you as an easy touch. No its them.

Long life friends are the ones that really are when they stick around and you may have drifted apart but the love of your friendship is still there., and even though you may have your own lives, you still love seeing one another.

When a friendship drifts apart it can feel like you have lost a part of a limb because long life friends can often have a bigger inpact, and when you go separate ways it can be a huge justment and make you feel sad for a while and that you want to get the friendship back to where it was, but sometimes you do have to give friendships space.

5# if you don’t wanna lose a friends you have known forever has changed find another way that they can still be in your life but in a different way

So how i have done it, is through Social media like Facebook and Instagram but by sending a letter or a card occasionally. This can feel to them a warm hug to say I know we are not really in each others lives, you still love them and you are there should they wish to return to see you physically again.

I think with Lockdown in my case it has bought people to be closer like my son, that at the moment I don’t get to see him all of the time.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Is Having a Bestfriend Good for Health in terms of mental and physical

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Posted by in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Wordpress blog about having a bestfriend

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So I have had many Bestfriends, one being my longlasting Friend Hayley and we grew up with eachother as babies and adulthood and our boys, her eldiest was born close to my son Henry, and even though we development different friendships and started to do our own thing, we have always known that eachother are there.

Girls Best Friends Image & Photo (Free Trial) | Bigstock

One of my bestfriends in Peabody, who was a sister to me, a girl named Kelly, we would spend days outside on her block having a way of a time, looking after her sibling, her sister and we again drifted appart, but it did kind of give me a sense of worth having a bestfriend. She knew that I was still around and the same that I knew she was, but was attacked by another girl on the estate when we lived, and I was in the same fascinaty when it happened, but I had know idea it was her, but she ended up being brain damaged, and I have never seen her again. I was sad, when I found out she was now in hospital hanging on to life.

It has been discovered that bestfriends can really help in terms of Depression, worry and Anxiety, it can make us feel secure in some way, that there is at least, when you may have many people against you, someone on your side and someone who doesn’t judge or interrupt, but listens, and you can talk about anything and everything.

Back before the internet it was the norm back when I was a kid to play on the streets in the Estate, and it did have value in my life, as we learned to get on with other children and form friends. It was natural source of happiness having friends to ask if they wanted to “Play out” and we would with our bikes, Rollerskates and pushchairs. playout all day long sometimes.

A Bestfriend for me was a good foundation, and it gave me comfort just knowing even if we didn’t see eachother all the time, that they were there as said and going to concerts together, playing Top Of The Pops where we would take turns in singing songs in the charts and doing pretend play again where sometimes we were school teachers, talking in the staff room, in each of our bedrooms and my friend Hayley and I would plan what we were gonna play when she next played and stayed over in my flat and the same when I stayed with her.

Having holidays together, cause you are sharing the memories of them with a bestfriend and its good for the soul to have someone who you have things in common with. So for me yes I think having bestfriend is good for the health as me and my friend Hayley would run up to eachother when we saw one another and played what seemed forever and we were planning one time, that we would live together and have a bedroom just for our Barbies.

So, I shout and gonna campaign to have a Bestfriends day or week to celebrate the Bestfriends we have had in our lives cause they great for the Soul, the mind and makes you physically alive to as you are talking nonstop not feeling awkward or self consciuous but comfortable and content.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday Blog with Monday Video/Developing change into your life

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Posted by in Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Goal setting, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello and Happy Monday! So I have been creating a series of Life Coaching videos for a programme I am doing called “Project 2021” and here is a video I did today talking about How to Develop changes into your life:

Many thanks for reading and watching and I will be back with more posts on this site this week so see you then.

Carrie L.M X

A Prince of the Throne Prince Philip How his rein can inspire us all

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Inspiring stories, People, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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So I bet you have heard the sad news about Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh who has sadly passed away.

He has been the Queens husband since over 60 years or so, and they have been a unit. So Who can A Prince of the Throne, Prince Philip, How his rein can inspire us all? Find good relationships, that are solid and you are on the same page. I have been in a unhappy relatiionship, and it was obvious as i had gone back into my shell, my life as i once knew it, had been swept beneath my feet, and was a shy unconfident girl again.

There are people who will bring the best out of you and those who don’t. It can often feel like a never ending battle ground, and constantly having to fight your case all of the time.

I am sure that the Queen and Philip had wanted a different life sometimes being in the public eye and wanting more privacy, but they never let the side down. I know there was a dispute when Lady Diana died, but we saw what happened there in the end. The tabloids can twist and turn people’s mind, and even me who loved the Royal Family and for a bit I too went against them to. This is another lesson to learn, is never listen to Gossip as often it is false news and the press being spiteful again,

This is a Sponsored post, by the Metro and please see their article about the Queen and Prince Philip:

Prince Philip’s lasting legacy is as a devoted companion to the Queen

Being a royal, it can be lonely at times, and the Queen would have never chosen any man to spend her life with, and many thought even me that he had in his younger days of being a Prince Strayed, but knowing the truth looking back on this thought, no. The Queen would not have stood by him or the other way round if that had been the case.

The other thing we can be inspired by Prince Philip is the Duke of Edinburgh Award which many kids at my Secondary school did and I look back, in that I wished I had been part of that. It was set up for young people to survive the outdoors and doing many independent skills and loads of the kids when I was at school who did this, would share their trips away and doing this award, and they would be full of adventure and funny stories.

We should be doing all we can to help young people in becoming independent warriors of the world. I write these blogs to help young people aswell as adults to build their lives up when like me being an estate kid, was destined to being a cleaner, which I have done or doing a 9 to 5 job, which again I have done, but knew I was destined for something else.

That is another thing I take from the Royal Family and someone like The Duke of Edinburgh and listen to your gut instinct and never allow haters to take away a great thing in your life and not everyone is put on this earth to work in the normal often seen,, way of living.

Many of us are destined for a different journey. So, your Royal Highness Duke of Edinburgh, I toast you with a cup of coffee as he was very much a Tea and Bourbon Biscuit kind of a guy, of your rein. Lord Live the King and The Head Prince of the Monarchy.

Fairwell,

Carrie L.M X

Building Success from Easter until Autumn

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Posted by in Boundaries, career building, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Financial Freedom, Goal setting, Love, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts, Work

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So, in this Weekly blog post, I am sharing some tips on Building Success from easter to Autumn. If you would like to checkout my new EBooks then please go to: Amazon.com and look under the name Carrie Lee Holmes.

So my first Tip# Is to go through you calendar of important dates. Go through birthdays and anniversaries, and how you can use them in your work or work around them. If there are birthdays or anniversaries that you can’t attend, of who may have sent out invitations to you, but still send them a message via social media or a card still. If you need like I do to shut yourself away to work on an online course or a book, do it, and set a date for yourself and many do a Writing Retreat.

be with the people that makes your life stress free | Stress free quotes, Inspirational quotes for entrepreneurs, Interesting quotes

Tip 2# Go through the summer months of taking your work outside, and make your work more personal to the people you are trying to attract. People like those who create products that solves a problem in everyday things, like, How to save money on energy in the home that you can save for your business.

I am all for working and saving at the sametime and that is now, why I am financially secure, because I have created a passive income with solid income and that means having weeks where I will work Rock solid and then take time out. Those who are earning a lot of money, know it when they no longer have to work everyday or can take it easy and can have more holidays. I know with Lockdown it has not been possible, but I do have some holidays booked and really looking forward to them

Tip 3# Use Easter to separate your work and finance as a new quarter, so like from Jan to March is one quarter, April to July or June the second and July to September is the third and October to December the last quarter. Honestly, it makes work so much easier.

I was someone who worked month to month at one time, but it never worked for me, and I have set goals for this month April 2021, but I have done it so I can work through them, through the other months.

Tip 4# Don’t jam pack your day with loads of meetings and tasks. I like to spread things out in the week, and would book meetings in the morning so I have my afternoons and evenings, to myself to do whatever I choose. I do have a day in the week where I don’t write blogs to go live or post any at all, and that is Sunday.

So go through your week and things you may have already booked and, then see where there is space to have an Admin day, a no meeting day or a day of doing research.

Rip 5# Use the sunmmer holidays as the time to plan the next quarters and keep setting goals. A lot of people think goal setting should be at the beginning of the year, but plan them all year round.

So #letsworktogether #BeKInd #BeSmart and live to have a life you love.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday Morning Weekly Post/21 day challenge/starting 7 day challenge

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Posted by in career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, EBooks, Everyday living, Freedom, Goal setting, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello and this is my weekly Monday post I like to do, and I have created a video talking about the 21 day challenges I set and now doing a 7 day challenge. So check it out and why not give them a try.

Many thanks,

Carrie L.M X