Category Archives: Positive Habits

How to deal with loneliness and have more belonging

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Posted by in Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this blog post and of my other blogs I write, https://carresversitilefashion.wordpress.com and https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

So can you believe that loneliness can be different to people? it can and I have learned that it is as a kid I felt I didn’t belong and was scared of rejection, but its because I am a naturally social person depending on where I am and who with. As a kid I could not see it and felt very lonely and was told by many that I live in a world of my own.

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I was not sure of these words but in funny way I did see it as a compliment as it made me see early “I was my own person” and now glad I was different.

Being different to others is okay, its how to present yourself and many people who feel loneliness its because they don’t have the right people around them to feel fulfilled and we are naturally all social creatures, yet I have suffered with social anxiety. That can be lonely right there, and you feel that only you can see it yet they can’t and think I am unsocialable.

When I write this it makes me ask, does this sound strange? Perhaps but it is true, I do feed off from other people and if someone wants to talk to me, I do and not judge them. I loved it as a kid we would go on holiday with other families the area I spent my life as a child and loved them, and would go camping with them too. I loved this community of people and wish they were still in my life.

We can be lonely when we feel unwanted in a family and often its the excuse, “Well they are family” yet should we feel left out? I settle and get to feel comfort by giving people space, but let them see I am here if they want to talk to me. If I don’t like someone I do stay back and don’t engage, or if I feel wary of them and often let them approach me if they want to, or not.

It is all about setting, and if you feel self conscious around some people that can then make you want to go elsewhere or they pretend that they haven’t been out all day without you and then tell you as you believe that they just met, yet was a cock and ball story, knowing that you both know the truth. I am someone who basically sees it as, “If you want me as a friend that’s fine but don’t pretend that you do”. Every human can feel lonely event those that have lots of cash and no where to go.

With lonely comes honesty and often people want you to feel lonely because they think its gonna make you want them around, yet you don’t want them and it can be tough to let people go, but sometimes you just have to, to get beyond he loneliness.

Being lonely isn’t an attack on someone it is a feeling and about wanting to be part of a world you feel you aren’t. Give time to those who really care not those that don’t. Listen to good music, videos and podcasts or even an audiobook, that makes you feel loved and that there is magic in those that can give you a lift and since sociallising on the net I have neverr looked back and thanks to modern technology I have now kept in touch with all the friends I have and it is a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! I am going to make sure I blog once or twice a week on this site, but with the school run, not be possible and so if you have been waiting for a new blog on this site, I apologise.

So topic of blog. How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

How many of us have had this experience?

I know it can be a never ending battle, but if they aren’t willing to see things on your point of view, often they never will, so the ball is still in your court on that.

How important is it to have these people still in your life? You need to ask, as can you move away from them?

That is not always possible, but actions can speak wonders.

What do they bring you when you see them? There are people who can be super jealous which leads them to resent everything you say and just want to argue and what they seeing is that. You being happy reflects on them, when no they just using you as an excuse so if they don’t want to hear you, then don’t give them the time. Say to them “If you aren’t willing to listen then we can’t carry on as me being here is not making you happy and you want me to be, so lets talk or move on” this way you are still giving them choice without taking full control over them, but gives them something to think about.

I hate it when it feels like a tug of war, as then I end up not wanting to speak to them and there story has to be worse than yours and it becomes a battle of “Who’s story is the most important” and it should be equal. They listen to you and you listen to them.

Are we made on this planet to get on with everyone? In an ideal world perhaps but not realistically impossible, but you can still be polite rather than hostile and just keeping distant if you can’t move away from them completely.

So what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to our selves

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Posted by in Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hwllo! I created my first video for my Summer Project 2021 so if you want to check this out then follow this link: Summer Project video.

https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

This blog is about Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to ourselves.

If we see good in us we see good in other people and you should spend time working on yourself.

Life can feel ike a long life sentence when we can’t stop giving ourselves a hard time, going throgh the problem you have with yourself? What really is bothering you?

You need to face it head on, look in the mirror and really observe yourself and then go though your life. Create something new into your life and going through the successes you had through your life, already. This is a great way to see, that you are worth thinking about and find photos of you and others that bring you happpiness and any photos of memories that is a cause of why you don’t feel good about yourself.

Is it due to a person, or bad habit, an addiction or you just don’t like what you see, when you look at yourself?

For me it was the latter I didn’t like looking at myself or hear my own voice. I would often hide away because of it and reallly demolish what I saw.

Yet if someone was saying those things to you, you wouldn’t stand for, so #BeKind to yourself, and see that everyone has qualities and be sponetanous.

Have an evening painting your nails, spend time rearranging you wardrobel and take pictures of different outfits you can create from your collection of clothes. treat yourself to having a new set of items to add, and change it up. Declutering is great, as it good chance to see what would help you look good in the mirror, if it is physical and have fun.

Example today as I write this blog I have the house to myself, so I decided to have a shower in the afternoon that I rarely have and put some indoor clothes on and so feel chilled and good about me, for a change.

Doing the same thing everyday can get on anyones nerves.

Create like I have to help with my confidence, a photobook via google of selfies to see when I don’t feel good to look so I do.

So be your admirer and will help you feel better and help you to love life rather than loath and give yourself credit.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Keeping Your Head Above the water/Some People are interested in you, others aren’t

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Printables, Related pages, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! If you would like to see the videos I have done so far on this new Project then here is a link to this and other content can be found there too:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I have created a new printable for you to go through making changes and write about your current situation:

my-next-printable-for-my-summer-project-2021-creating-big-dreamsDownload

We can often feel pushed down where we feel we are drowning and trying to hang on to stop, take a moment and then continue on. There can be resentment and jealousy towards you, and sorry to say this, but these sorts of people will always be around but it doesn’t mean you can’t raise your voice and let them know that it isn’t gonna make you stop, but fight on.

Never allow others shoot you down. You have the right to speak aswell as them, and cut them off.

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There are people who want to keep you floating and have no real time for you, only when it suits them, and others will join you, as they are interested in you and you find that this person is on the same wave length and you feel “Yes, this person gets me lets stay in contact”.

Keep your head above the water, and give yourself good acknowledgement and take time writing down why you are you, the things that have made you into a good person, and who has bought out the worst in you.

Noone wants to feel they are trapped and this is how you get out it.

  • Who’s more important to you?
  • What are you about?
  • Do you need to be there?
  • Can you move on?

Being in the wrong environment, and always being wrong, is hard but I have a mechanism that has taken me to better places and there is always a way out.

I once never believed to be true, but it is.

What I do is I will take notes in my head of what they are doing, but don’t take any notice. They dribble, I talk.

We need to dictate ourselves and not be others bec and call. Those people will never change, but you can.

So keep head above and affirmations are a great tool, and can be done in many ways, just tell yourself “You are worth it and you can go for it”.

Never settle for convenince but by what gets you out of the water onto land, and set rules for you and for people to see, you aren’t their admire as they want you to think, but you are with yourself.

Don’t give them to the time to if they want to knock you done and say “Thank you, but I know what I want and I will live my life as I wish too”

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Introduction video to my new programme “Summer Project 2021”

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Posted by in career building, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Goal setting, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer project 2021

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Hello! Here is an Introduction video to my new programme I am putting together for you to have a better summer and life.

I will be adding more content and free printables for you to use and adding content from other Youtubers I like to watch, along with videos and blogs..

Many thanks,

Carrie X

Starting my New Programme/Summer Project 2021/New Printable Worksheet about Wellness

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Posted by in Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Goal setting, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Printables, project 2021, Summer Project, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and welcome! This is continuing on my Project Life coaching programme and moving it to the summer and so I will writing content and creating videos for my Summer Project 2021, which will have tips of wellbeing, productivity, summer habits and setting goals for yourself in the summer.

I have created a Printable to kick start it. I am still gonna create printables for the Happy Journal I have been helping you to put together as I keep a happy journal and it can be a reali lifet to your wekllbeing and is centred around getting away from COVID and build ourselves up for the Summer and then will be doing more come Autumn and Winter but diffeerently.

Check out this printable and it is free of charge to kick start it.

summer-project-2021-introduction-worksheetDownload

I want you to go throgh your wellness now and what is contributing to your life that you feel you are neglecting from yourself.

It is all about being free with regret and guilt and being happy, even in the summer rain and Sunshine.

Many thanks for taking the time to read my blogs and can’t wait to work with you all more.

Carrie X

Day 30/30 Day Challenge/Blog a day/Changing The Routes of your life/Final Post

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Posted by in career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, EBooks, empowerment, Everyday living, Goal setting, monthly challenges to manage my work, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Team Building, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome! This is the last post as part of my 30 day challenge where I have been posting on this site daily and glad I did. This is it for my daily blogs and thank you for the follows and likes I have received and sorry to bombard your inbox of my posts I just wanted to see if I could do it and to grow my content more but now will go back to posting on this site once a week.

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In this post I talking about Changing the Routes to your life from a brainstorm I did before I this challenge and I have already covered on this site about Changing the story of your life and journey which became an EBook check out Amazon.com and under the name Carrie Lee Holmes and making small changes to your life and to do that you do need to make decisions on the route to lead you to having a better life and build it up to an everlasting change.

I have taken different routes in my life like a complete career change to working in Butlins Bognor Regis, temping and then returning to work in London and Chessington etc, and glad I did because it what worked at the time. Now I am ready for a new set of challenges by taking further routes and expanding myself I am glad to have found writing again.

I am able to look at myself now and think “Your doing okay and stay on this route it is heading onto more good things and keeping my spirits high”.

Sometimes it means sitting down again and going back to the drawing board to take a different route and setting new goals.

Scrapping goals is okay as unplanned events can take over and so changing goals is not failure it is re-routing your plans and adapting them to unexpected avenues that have cropped up, and develop new skills and changing the view of your situation.

I have been lucky that I have worked for many organisations and now ready to expand even more and because I was in a Mentalhealth hospital for a month, it really made me re-order my life and made me more guarded and choose my next route to grow myself even further.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 29/30 Day Challenge/Blog a day/Getting your life back to normality and making small changes

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Posted by in Boundaries, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Goal setting, monthly challenges to manage my work, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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Hello it is day 29 and one day to go until I have completed my 30 Day Challenge to post a blog a day and I have enjoyed it.

It is amazing how you, my auidence has liked it and sorry for filling up your inbox’s being a follower I wanted to see if I could do it and if you right a blog why not give it a try.

In this blog post I am talking about Getting your life back to normality and making small challenges.

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So the first step is have a destination of where you want the final outcome to be. If you want to begin running for example: What is you vision once you have started to run. Is it to take on a Marathon for a good cause? To do it to overcome a medical reason? Like me my blood sugar level was extremely high and had to change medication and change my diet and lifestyle, buy running each week and start small and then gradually build.

When it comes to making changes its always about having positive results at the end and so the second step would be, find ways that suits you that will helps you reconnect with yourself and with other people.

You speak to someone who you can say how you feel, and not be held against you, but will support you.

I take refuge in keeping a journal and I know its not rocket science and “Yes we’ve heard it before” but that is because even drawing pictures of how you feel can also help you and get in touch with your thoughts and fears. Many an Artist liked to draw and paint out their current thoughts and their are some Adult Community Colleges who teach on creating art.

This is a great way to meet new people and findng new hobbies I wrote about this before hobbies in a parenting blog post check out my parenting blog I write called: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com its never too young to learn something new so why not take up a hobby such as creating art and there are many online courses you can do too.

When it comes to changes it means declutter what you no longer need in your life and so it is good to go through your home of the things you still love and the things you don’t. This is something you can do for everything and that includes sentimental items and things you have won and collected that no longer mean anything to you.

Recycling items. I have used a pot noodle pot as a pen holder and have a box that stores my stickers for my planners and anything filed away on your computer or physically.

It is all about getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. I do write blogs about organization on my google blogspot sites:

  • Organize4thebetter.blogspot.com
  • GetOrganized.blogspot.com

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 28/30 Day Challenge/Blog A Day/Using Summer to make positive changes to your life

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts

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Hello and Welcome! Thank you again for your feedback and that you are liking my blogs I have written to do my 30 day challenge. Post a blog a day for 30 days and it is day 28 and talking about Using Summer to make positive changes to your life.

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  1. Have a reason for each part of the day. So for me at the moment is getting up early morning to look and spend time with my son during the Summer Holidays. and afternoon going out with him and then in the evening having a good meal and then catching up in the evening to work on my blogs and do some writing and checking job vacancies as I am looking for some work in MentalHealth.
  2. Use the weather to inspire you to if you can working outside. It is good to have some sun and working. It for me helps split up the day and is a change than being stuck in the room and I still longng for a pub lunch at some point and I find exploring London, my home town, inspiring and can’t wait to go to the theatre again.
  3. Change the routine you have each season including summer. Use it do some gardening for example even if not done during the colder months and it is starting to grow the “Grow your own vegetables and fruit and vegetables” it saves you money, and having a drink in the garden rather than in the sitting room all of the time, whilst watching your flower beds bloom and home grown food grow.
  4. Finally have friends and family round that you have not seen for ages again and not been able to contact via Zoom or facetime. It is gonna be a blessing to some people that they can see their love ones again and so why not have a gathering. It is good to have a catch up with those who you love

So, it is as easy as that and add some fun into your life and #BeKind and #BeSafe

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 27/30 Day Challenge/Blog a day/Addressing my faults/Being happy for others

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Hello and welcome! This is blog number 27 and in this post I am talking about Addressing my faults and Being Happy for others

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This is someone who had many faults, I used to butt in when having a conversation. I do switch off which isn’t a fault as such but for some people it can be and why I didn’t continue to do driving lessons and have gotten jealous and begrudging. Being on the other side of that they are not good traits to have and once you are on the receiving end of such emotions how it can turn into something unworthy and anger from them, who do feel that way.

I see them also as bad habits and bad behaviour and its the question is, “Do you want people to be happy and living a dream and or unhappy?”

“Do you want anger from others as does it make you feel better when they are?”

Everyone deserves happiness weather you like them or not and I find its those that always complain and never satisfied and nothing pleases them.

“Do I want people to see me in this way?” Of course not. I want the world to be a better place and stop war if I could and end suffering.

I dont want to see anyone homeless or anyone being hurt where they ca’t defind themselves, who would want that?

There are people who are just unkind and always want you to see you fail and that makes me sad rather than anger cause it can spiral out of them being isolated and alone.

We all have fleurs but there are those that learn from it and those that don’t and feel they are always right all of the time and I am not afraid of saying that I am wromg and have in many ways but I still come out of it still standing and we will make mistakes and working on ourselves is important in being received by people for good and not bad. So setting boundaries and rules for yourself is the way.

Lets #BeKind and #BeSmart.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X