Hello! July has been good. I took my son to the Guilfest to see the Proclaimers. His favourite band and share my first experience of the festival and also I am taking on a challenge in August 2026.
These newsletters I post every month and are free to download and print, and to share if you wish to.
When it comes to how we feel about the way we feel or had a bad day and you can’t stop thinking about it write about it. This will help to make sense of what happened and what would make you feel better. I had a Migraine a couple of days ago and it really hit me hard so I decided to take a break from screens and wet to bed and now limit my screen time.
Picture from the Guilfest
If I have made a mistake when doing radio, I go over what I would do differently and what I have learned.
I learned in my last show to create some scripts for introducing my show better and with cooking a meal that I did wrong. I tried to make a Carbonara but I didn’t make enough sauce so took note of that and know for the next time.
Address the bad and how will you turn it around?
We saw that the traffic was heavy going back to the A3 to get to Tolworth to go home so we went a different route and life is like that too. Still focus on the destination and workout how many ways you can get there. You may need to do a U-turn, but if you can still reach it. I was having issues with posting Youtube videos as my software kept crashing so I thought well I have my phone so film on that now and use the software to edit videos for Youtube on my phone and I am getting so much enjoyment from that. I have no schedule and like being sporadic as I will plan but like today I wanted to do some cleaning I write it down but say Clean One Area and that instantly makes me do it. Lower the pressure and how can you make everyday yours and get much more out of your life. I went to the Guilfest and it was crowded and flying ants and I was a bit dubious and it meant moving away from that area and when we returned it was fine and I thought no I am going to enjoy it no matter what is swarming and just move away. We got a drink, found the toilets and so my anxiety faded and I didn’t want to spoil it for my son as he’s favourite band was playing and why I booked it and next time take chairs and get there earlier perhaps move and gave us a chance to look around. I do feel it needed more organisation because people were scattered all over the place and I may pay the extra year and pay for the VIP section.
My laptop crashed and luckily have been able to use my husbands laptop and now hand write books I want to publish and use Google Doc and so learned not to save everything on my husband’s laptop on Word but google docs I can use it via another laptop as many of my book ideas have gone and so not to rely on technology and go analogue still. If I use a notebook and write out a its less likely to go missing.
So I now make the bad into good by thinking of what went well and how could it be better next time.
Evaluate like you would in an accident. Is it safe? Did anyone get harmed? could it have been a dangerous situation?
Are you still breathing? Was it that bad now you have answered those questions?
I laugh now when my dad would say there are doobie noshes after us as he would say when walking from the entertainment venue to our caravan where we used to holiday and it was great fun. I take so much from that. I loved family holidays and being with a mixture of people. Yes I got sick on holiday and my nan did, but we still had fun and enjoyed those times and I love the things we do now.
We still went for a drive like we do each weekend, we had a nice breakfast and with my migraine going to take more care when it comes to screens and do things away from a screen like having a sort out, read or now I like to watch a bit of the World cup and the tennis.
Today continuing this blog sorted out my sons toy cupboard in the living room and put it off but glad that was done.
I have gone for jobs where I it has been a disaster. I remember going to one and I said I’d looked at the website and it was obvious I hadn’t and yet I was so close in getting the job and they didn’t like the fact that I had turned up early, which now I am somewhat glad I didn’t get it. For me if I was running a company punctuality would be top of the list.
I tried to apply to be a red coat a Butlins and I don’t even think my application had reached the time or day.
My first time I applied to work at Butlins I was rejected and applied again the year after and finally got a role and it was persistence that finally got me the chance to fulfil a childhood dream. My first holidays were staying on a holiday camp that we’d go to with our grandparents and I loved it.
Rejection is a good thing because it helps to see if this is what you want can happen, but if you really want it and what can you work on that will make you successful next time. I was desperate to get a role and auditioned for Haven, applied for Pontins and when I first left school I was rejected by gyms I had applied for as at school I did Leisure and Tourism and got the roll sending my C.V to football clubs as a Steward at Fulham Football club.
Never allow it to get you down. The famous writer Jojo Moyes first books she wrote were rejected. Kevin Keegan was told he was too small to play professional football when he trained at Liverpool as a kid until years later he was one of their top scorers. Only Fools and Horses was going to be scraped, the double act Cannon and Ball came last when they went on Opportunity Knocks and Les Dawson also did that show too and didn’t win.
Rejection can still lead you to opportunities. Mariah Carey trained for many years as a backing vocalist until she became an artist and was waitressing when she finally got noticed. Paula Abdul was chorographer before she had hits and was a dancer, before a singer.
Listening to Jojo Moyes speak on Davina McCall podcast, begin again proved that you should never give up and get to know your trade and enjoy the process. I like that I get to spend most of my days with my son, building my blog sites, working on books and Youtube videos when he is at school and just learning.
So never feel if you have been rejected that your dreams aren’t going to come true.
Be consistent and persistent.
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I have never felt good in all of my life as I do now. I feel so good because I am not allowing the inner critic get to me, that talks me out of things but now I am Shaping My life because I’m following my dreams to get closer and have experiences. I look forward in achieving my goals, by not putting hurdles in the way. So take that trip around the world, go to see the World cup, go on a cruise and see a family member who’ve you’ve been meaning to see but never got round to it. Make the time and you’ll feel better for it.
Me at the Hampton Court Music Festival. I did do a vlog about it, see link at the bottom of this blog.
I am doing things that I never thought I would do. No I am not a millionaire. No offence to those who are but I am living. I am going to be going away with my son for the first time. Just him and me. Part of me is nervous but looking forward to it at the same time. A friend of mine travelled solo for the first time, just her and you have to live. Take the chance. I have been full of excuses in why I shouldn’t do something putting hurdles in the way and my mum said it once “If you want to do something you’ll always find a way if it is something you really want to do”. I have had opportunities. I could have trained every week in a local football team but I just couldn’t push myself but it was seeing the players who were built like bricks and put me off rather than using that to work towards learning football, but then I did some Courses later on and coached a team and so I achieved that goal, With dancing I went every week. With football I feel that I wanted the glitz and the glamour be the female version of Gazza and run rings around the other players rather than just enjoying the moment.
That is okay but I wanted to be Wonder Woman not seeing it as a learning experience. Back then women’s football was still being overshadowed by men’s football and I ended up running a team but fell pregnant and the team was taken our of my hands and even though that was disappointing I am grateful for it now as I could just enjoy my pregnancy and glad I had the experience.
I did dancing because I was good at that. I played football because I began playing at school but one of the girls made a remark and once again stopped going. It would matter to me when I was called a name by someone. Now I have gotten older got a lot stronger and why I got into running, now do a radio show and write. I published another book this year When Mothers are Real.
I took Henry to music festival in Hampton Court and got another this year and then with my mum going to see Bon Jovi. I am taking my son on a Ferry for the first time and he now plays tennis, which he has done well at. He finally got a school placement and so my aim now is to publish a new book I am working on, continue with my radio show I do for a local hospital, continue with my yearly Life Coaching programmes I’ve created and there is still a long way to go but I am no longer allow fear to follow my dreams and doing what I said I will do.
Take chances. I was listening to a Podcast hosted by Davina Called Begin Again with Jojo Moyes and it was so interesting. Here’s a link if you’d like to watch it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpTd0zOyg8Y&t=2894s and how you should never give up and enjoy the process. Jojo talks about how much she’s done now since she spoke to someone about her life and her failures. We all fail that is how we long and it makes you stronger. I feel that we can feel bad in taking some time wanting something for ourselves.
I like doing my yearly reading challenges. I love reading everyday. That’s helped with shaping my life because it has helped me with my books. It has helped me with writing and seeing the different styles. Going on my morning walks and watching a concert. I have been enjoying watching the world cup and listening about music. I love creating my show, even though the inner fear makes me resistant and get nervous but at the same time feel like “Wow I can’t believe I am doing this” and I did write a blog about Its Okay to Be Selfish as we need to help our world shape to help others we care about have shape. I want my son to have experiences, friends and a life that he is happy with. I love it when we play table tennis, go to the cinema, take trips on buses and trains and he is looking forward to seeing the Proclaimers and now I am being more intentional and it feels good.
So Shape you life and own your goals.
For more content why not check out my Youtube channel. I could do with some support and share parts of my life as a mum and a writer. Please check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/@Carriechalloner
Hello! I hope you all had a good Fathers Day. Sadly my dad is no longer alive physically but feel sometimes he is watching in spirit and be taking the mickey out of those in Heaven. My dad would be someone who’d have you in tears if myself and brother did something wrong and tears of laughter.
I wonder what he thinks about the world as we weren’t super wealthy as a family but we still didn’t go without and he would use what he had. He loved music, comedy TV mainly and films. His Idols were Kevin Keegan and John Wayne.
Times are hard at the moment, I give each month to the Trussell Trust the Food bank organisation and not sponsored but want to help families be able to have things to eat. The thought of a young child not able to have breakfast or dinner feels my heart with sadness and so this Cheat Sheet is about Use Up What You’ve Got.
I like to see my fridge empty, it means we have to use up what we have in the Food Cupboard that has sauces, spreads, tinned meats and other tin produce and in the freezer.
I have been watching many people rebuild or their hobby become a business. I think of this guy on Youtube Leonel Maxlhaisie and who started baking and selling sour dough bread and pastries from the boot of his car and now has an industrial kitchen and has a hut that he sales goods from and so inspiring. Watching Freddy Mercury was a baggage handler before becoming a super star and the vocalist for Queen. He also wrote music, but is up there with Elvis, Barbra Streisand and I often think what do they possess that I don’t?
Commitment, hard working and they stand out. They have a talent that is a gift.
In this picture I watching the Book Diaries by the sea and she started as a librarian and collecting books and now has her own book shop.
Visiting Wimbledon Park to play tennis the guy working in the café was miserable and had no Customer Service skills, yet visiting a garden centre the staff were really nice and made me feel welcome because they were good at their job and I worked in Customer Service and I was good at my job. Yes I still made mistakes but at the end of the day I knew what I was doing no matter who thought I weren’t.
I have carried those skills and love working on my blogs, books and radio show. I worked in Catering. Not for me. I worked in Housekeeping, not for me, but I am glad that I tried and that is what you’ve got to do. Try. See what it is like to then find out if it is for you and make the effort. I know Steven Bartlett worked in a call centre and he didn’t follow the rules and wasn’t for him but went on to create a podcast, wrote a book and now invests in other peoples businesses.
I am good at planning, I have a good knowledge of books and music. I love sport but my first love was music and reading. I love music and I love books. I was good at dance and no longer dance which I often wished I had, but I am glad of the direction I took because of building a life of my own and because of being a mum. I am good at choosing good music. I would know a lot of lyrics of songs and names. With books I love to write and I am glad I possess those skills. I am still learning and I read books to learn and every afternoon I will play some music and love listening to radio. It helps inspire me to do my show and come up with themes and song ideas to play.
You don’t need to be earning million dollars to be good at your job. Its putting in the hours, still showing up and I when was in fulltime employment would give it my all and it helped with my confidence to workout what I want to do.
Being a mum is a full time job and yeah, I don’t always get it right but again I am learning and with each day getting better and learning about my son and make sure he what he needs and that he is washed, got clean clothes and things that occupy his mind and is a social, happy social boy.
I believe you have to learn the craft and I do read different types of books. The only way to find out what your good at is to research and try them out.
If you are looking for a hobby or change of job, career or skill then do it. You only know by trying and the best way to learn is to just try.
Watching Live Aid, Queen the band, for the 100th time. They owned the stage and Freddy was out there and one of the best performers and every time I watch it, it still feels like it is the first time watching it and it was 40 years ago and if you want to change, own the stage. You are part of this world so you deserve to have the things you want, unless it is hurting people.
It is good to say “You want to be the best” OWN THE STAGE in whatever field or area you are interested in. Watching Robbie Williams film Robbie was treated like a pain in the arse but once he started to see that he was good enough to be a star and create fantastic music he shone and he OWNED THE STAGE and made people see, by getting help and facing his demons, a superstar and he is a up there with the best.
Your going to have setbacks, but it is how you manage them is the key. I wanted to win the trophy for the highest marks when I did dance and I got it and it was because I OWNED THE STAGE and athletes OWN THE STAGE. They do the work, they eat what their body needs and many have had struggles leading up to success but they see they are part of this world and so they have taken over the world by their determination and working on your strengths and their weaknesses.
So set some goals. Change a habit and write down what has worked out for you in your life and why and making the things that haven’t worked out smaller. I want to make you see your part of this world. You are important and you can achieve goals and change. I never felt good than I do now because I write thar blog, I write that book, I go for a morning walk, I worked in a coffee shop and I have made a good dinner. So OWN THE STAGE and yes their are hurdles but it can work out and when it does it feels fantastic.
Please check out my Pinterest where I post my blogs and on X too.
Listening to a podcast and documentaries of Queen and Live Aid it made me realise that Queen were perfectionists and to Freddy he had a good attention to detail. A song had to make you feel excited and their Live Aid performance was out of this world and one that will always been remembered and when I spent time in a Mental Health Hospital it would be played and Bob Geldoff too putting it together and changed the music scene that not only can you write music but could create a master piece to be used and fame to make a difference. I have said “I am not perfect” but like my books and blogs to be perfect and have felt such an amateur when their have been a typo that I missed and reading my books and J.K Rowling her books had to be seen that this could be real, the same with the Hunger Games and The Lord Of The Rings.
Myself set up in Radio Studio that I’d like to perfect.
Yes mistakes do happen and can improve our focus and attention to detail as I can see that perhaps I need to do more of an outline on a book and not be in such a rush in publishing it but that my blogs and my message is put across. Its taking pride in what you do and I like my days now that I have had attention in making sure I have slept well, that my clothes are not super creased and that the home is tidy and that there are no crumbs all over the place, that the sink is shining and I am a perfectionist and I think now in observing people, we all are. We all want to have a home to give you comfort so spending time on the look of a home, like furniture, the perfect bed that we like to help have a good nights sleep.
It means you care. Yes you can get things wrong that is part of life but when you keep building and growing being a singer, dancer, writer or a Housewife you it perfect for you and for others you live with. Then there are things that you think are going to be bad, turn out to be a masterpiece. Boy George didn’t like his song “Do you really want to hurt me” and didn’t want it on their album and yet it changed his life and Culture Club, but again it is perfectionism. It can work against you like the example of the Boy George and Culture Club sometimes it can cause confliction.
You only know when something is good when you get feedback both good and bad. I have had criticism, but people will. It doesn’t mean you have to stop but may need to make changes and feedback is a must.
A chef will always want feedback. They need to know if people like their dishes to learn how to make a meal better and it depends who it is for. A child may not go for a steak that is within the specials. I do not like Liver because of school dinners but then I didn’t eat Tuna but had Tuna Steak, which made me realise it could be tasty. So it was perfection for me. It was cooked well, it was flavour and that is where it pays off and so when you do something check it, taste it and makes us succeed by being consistent and attention to detail, which is the key and what you like. What puts you off? What could you make that you can master that will help build a website and what outcome using the Worksheet I created in first blog: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2026/04/29/introduction-to-my-yearly-programme-summer-project-2026/
I like to see things develop and watched how they put together Bohemian Rhapsody. It was really clever and every bit of was important in the making of it. Seeing Strictly Come Dancing live. Being there was such an thrill, because how much work goes into to making it. It was different the clips that they had to do and film and so much goes into it and it is perfectionism because if the presenters can’t talk, the cameras not working it could all have been a disaster so again it is attention to detail and consistency.
So what do you want to focus on?
Focus on what result you want. Who could help you perfect a skill or if its your weekly routine you have been working on?
Dig deep and be honest. It was journaling that helped me put this is blog together and by journaling each day has really been a great. It has helped me to slow down and keep going. Writing a book is a hard process, because how I see it the readers will see it differently and its making it understandable, engaging and that they will read more books I write. All to down with perfectionism and tip you toe in the water to start and learn the craft that you want to perfect.
I do a radio show for the local hospital and its not just pressing buttons, but choosing songs that the patients or family of patients may be listening to and like. Making sure the last song fits in with the news and not cut half the song and playing the Promos and not playing the same songs, it is a whole process and you have to enjoy it and music that may be personal to people. I have made mistakes, but the more I do it the more I will perfect it and try different themes and what a song makes me feel when I hear it.
So having good attention to detail and consistency means you are a perfectionists and now as I become aware of the world as I grow in age, it is okay because its about using to build your skills and abilities and let work for you not against you.
Hello! It’s that time of year when I start sharing blogs about things I’ve done to feel good about myself and my life.
This is all about focusing on abundance and recognizing what’s working in your life.
Make one change at a time and concentrate on what’s important to you.
I have a free worksheet for you to download and print. If you want to stay updated on my posts for this program, please subscribe.
As you work through the worksheet, take time to reflect. I suggest journaling every day, like I do. You can get a smart journal or use an app to track your progress. Begin by focusing on one thing and keep using the worksheet. See Below.
This isn’t a test; it’s an opportunity to face your fears and improve your relationships with yourself and others.
The program will run from May 1, 2026, to August 14, 2026.
Hello and welcome! So it is that time again. My Monthly Newsletter and I share what we did during Easter and things I have started doing and just a catch up. My Yearly Life Coaching programme will be coming and so more to come.