I have. When having an argument said something you shouldn’t have.
Take a moment to breath and go somewhere you can cool off and reflect.
People clash, its human nature and its a form of protection. It can affect the environment and escalate so do you want to put the fire out or keep it burning?
I have hit out and I am not proud of that. I find anger overwhelming, to the point I am not able to calm down, so I will leave the room or take two or so minutes, but then come back apologised and all has been right again.
It is good to have your say and give your point of view, but calling someone a nob head is not the way. Yes we want to vent and glad I have a journal and this has made a huge difference and use it for my books and looking back, realising that I lost control and I have learned from arguments and to put the smoke out, before its turned into fire.
I have looking back, laughed at myself. I remember when I was with my husband, when he was trying to give up smoking and we argued over a plate of chips and a draw. I remember saying “Have a bloody cigarette”. That wasn’t the best form of advice and should have been a lot more supportive as it can be hard to give up a habit and a lot of people smoke because it to them is calming and a break.
I felt like it was a personal attack, but no it just was that I wanted to share a plate of chips but not draw and now writing this, makes me laugh as actually I get his point.
He did when people were band from smoking in a pub, gave up smoking and he has never gone back. So often it can be that someone is fighting against a addiction or a habit. He just wasn’t in the right mindset to give up smoking. I am very good at weighing up my emotions, by thinking, “Is this going to lead to an argument and is worth venting about?” This helps me think before I speak and defuse the smoke before it turns into a fire.
No human being is perfect. Some may think they are, but noone is. Not that is some excuse to be verbally abusive. I have through habits controlled my feelings. This is journaling, walking and writing. As said weighing up. I will ask myself “How would you feel if someone said that to me?”
I dislike people who are hypocritical and have double standards. It should be one rule for all not specific people and being fair.
There have been times that I know I am right and finding myself wanting to say “Oh shut you shit bag and listen” but stopped myself and asked, “Do I want a good day or not?” and kept my thoughts to myself.
So try to stay calm and write it down. Turn it into a story, write a letter to yourself and if you can take yourself out of the situation, to defuse it before you say anything you will regret later. Try to remain in a good mindset and not lash out.
Have you ever chatted with with someone about say, You had a nose bleed and they then say “Oh well last week I had a massive migraine and was in bed for two days”. Now I am not saying you should not be sympathetic, yes migraines can be painful, but a nose bleed is still bad and then you say “Well that is bad yes, must have been painful” and now the conversation has swept passed your problem because that person feels that theirs is a lot more worthy and now you feeling somewhat like “oh mine is not so important.
We are all allowed to have fears and we all face challenges but we are all worthy of someone sitting down and listening to you and that your problem is not worth the attention because that persons felt more hard done by, by what’s happened to them.
Yes of course there are people who can’t climb stairs, but you can. #in meeting people who have a disability, never allow their problems to affect on yours and we are all have bad days or challenges and so life is not a competition. It is being on an even ground and have a good chat, without any resent or judgement. EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO SAY OUCH, HAVE A COFFEE AND BREATH IN AIR.
The one thing I like is to have is a good chat or discussion. I loved the team of people I worked with in a call center because we would just chat. A conversation works both ways and we all like to be heard and to feel that they’re not wasting someone’s time. There was one or two who wanted me to move aside for them to be the center of attention, but I would not entertain them and if they wanted to fly a flag to be noticed I’d just let them continue and put my head down to do my job no matter their feelings were and that when that happens its their own insecurities and in the end they went elsewhere.
Working for me is important to me and doing the job I have been asked to do. I would represent the department too as we did a good job and I felt that there was a resentment towards the department because we would work our butts off.
The best relationships are where you are on the same page and yes I am not saying we shouldn’t have a different point of view, its about having equality and not be snubbed because they are self centered and just think they’re story is more important. So life is not a competition and if you want a good relationship then give eachother the same amount of time to listen and talk.
We all have pressures in our lives or we have the same battles and arguments that have ended into saying hurtful things, lashing out, leading to the same feelings of hatred and bitterness. If it’s going to cause you unhappiness and then have your say, keeping it Civil and then hear there’s and leave it as a difference of opinion and move on. Often it isn’t actually a personal attack it can be that they have noone else to talk to about it and anger is often meaning that they are scared, not actually that they are confident and strong.
I have been jealous of friends and family to the point I’d feel low about myself and that I am never going to be good enough, but that has not been the case and so I had to do a lot of work on that and watched a Mel Robbins video about being Envious and Jealousy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS_Lu5IIFBI
She says that we feel this way because we feel that the person your jealous of has robbed you in having success in your life to have the same dreams come true and to turn it around and yes I would feel like “What is wrong with me?” and “I am never going to get that dream because they’ve taken it”.
It can make you feel resentful and looking at the way they talk, walk and gain success in their life, which leads us thinking we belong in the audience but not the stage. If it is making you not eat, sleep or go out, then it is time to look at yourself and why they are where they are, because they’re not bothered. Your bothered but you needn’t be because they not losing sleep over you, so use it to make you determined and find your spotlight by giving yourself time to focus on you and can often mean that there is a different stage for you and not feeling that you have lost out. Everyone in this world deserves to be happy so work on letting your negative feelings go to be happy and proud of your life no matter what some else has been doing to have a success career and that your never going to compete. I use others success to make me hungry of succeeding accomplishing my goals to have a life I dream of and that meant stepping back and working on my Mental Health and bring up my son and help him with his development and things he’d like to do.
I am all about working together and encouraging others to be happy with their lives. Be the person you want to be, as long as there is no bad intentions but that is good and not feel that we are never going to change and that we will miss out because of someone else’s success. So let it go.
Hello, so it is December the 31st and yes it is going to be a regular each year to publish a book at the end of the each year.
My book Mum&Me is now published.
It is a comedy and is about a Mum and a daughter who live together and get on each other nerves and have a different opinion on most things that leads to arguments. Elizabeth Mum is continuously ordering items from TV shopping channels and online and not what she thought they were and Elizabeth guest bedroom is full of boxes, but when it comes to Bucci Tits Gloria they always reunite as she is Elizabeth’s arch rival.
I want the book to be a good cozy read and go lovely for winters day or the summer, with a cup of tea or coffee or even a cocktail and have a good laugh.
I have just watched a TV programme about a mother called Anne, who faught for justice over the losing her son at Hillsborough in 1989 and I remember seeing this tragic event happen, when at my nans and thought that my cousin had gone. In the progamme she fights with other Liverpool supporters who also lost love ones too, protest to have the case reopened to get the verdict she and the other families wanted, which was unlawfully killed. Ninety seven supporters were crushed to death and the blame was put onto the Liverpool fans, when actually it was the football ground and the Police on that day.
It inspired me to write this blog because in order have actions taken in your life it is good to find those people who can help you and give you full support. We are all allowed to fight our corner and speak out and should never be shut down by anyone.
Have you ever had a time where you have chatted away about something then got blanked and that person then turns to talk to someone else or completley changed the subject? It can be so annoying and you feel unworthy of speaking and so when it comes to life to help build it, it is good to find good amount of human support by the right people that can help you, but not knock you down, and don’t turn their back on you.
They may put up a defence towards what you want to do or talk about more to protect you, but will support you in the end.
If they just don’t want to listen, then they aren’t worthy of your attention either as I see it and find those who won’t do that. They can be easily found, it can be finding a network of people that do what you do and have the same mindset, it can be someone you work with, a friend of a friend or someone who has randomly spoken to you without them worrying who you are.
You want people who won’t trash over your success and your dreams and ask if they can help and still allow you to be in charge of it, but thankful that they have offered. It means they will do whatever you want with good intentions and not destroy it.
On the way back from a Mother and Toddler group I checked out one of the buses which go passed the station for when I started a new job. This was about 7 years ago.
At the bus stop this lady approached and she wanted to see Henry and started shaking him not roughly and she got a bit worried because he was zonked out, and says “Whats the matter he woke wake up” and so I applied “He’s okay just a sleep” and I didn’t get alarmed but was sad for her as she must have witness a child not waking up hence why she panicked.
She did look like she had a few too many alcoholic drinks but not knowing her I didn’t get cross and just moved on. I don’t know this lady and it is surprising how people can be having more of a bad time to worry for other people and children.
We do need to be respectful as noone knows what someones been through to be alarmed, and she did look like she had troubles and so if you see someone who is different to the norm, try not to judge because they are doing it based on their life. If they wish to talk then let them.
I didn’t feel threatened by this lady’s actions and could see the anxiety she had and we do need to stop judging people.
In this blogpost I am talking about Who would I want to be stuck in a life with, and who would I not want to be?
Well lets just say IT WOULDN’T BE JEKYLL AND HYDE that’s for sure and there is someone doing Extreme Copying and no not them either. I am not scared of either but they just would make me want to commit murder.
Now I today used my Mrs Hinch Activity book to go through different words and what I would like to practice more of so on myself, so they were Kind, Funny, Loyal, Helpful, Positive, Tidy, Friendly, Silly, Fun, Caring and Loving. It is a Journal that I had been wanting to buy for ages and finally did.
So who would I want to be stuck in life with who is Kind. Well I love Jordan Page because she is a Financial Guru and I have kind of lost track from someone who as a kid, and yes me, have become wreckless and so with her videos, have helped me to keep on track and thankfully my writing has kept me a float. She is so real and truthful in her content and find her relative and engaging that I am a huge fan of her work and miss her videos as I have kept some that I like to go back to for inspiration when I need it.
I would say to go through these words to, and also used these words to look at myself. I give myself a hard time all the time, and it can be like I am hitting myself with a mallet all of the time. The other person who would be under Kind is my friend Laura, who I have know since school and would always have her in my life and hated school just like me and was my friend since those days up to now.
Funny, it would be my new love Lee and is under Kind too. We have been seeing each other for ages but never got together as such. Yet he would see me as his Girlfriend and last year was when we got together and I am so needing to see him again. It’s been tricky due to the Lockdown and Covid.
He covers all of those words and is very much loving and has a heart of gold.
Loyal is one of the most important one to me as I have always been like that and when I am a friend with someone I am for life, unless they have been secretly been rude about me, but I will always have peoples back and when I become a fan of someone or something I will always be unless again I find out they aren’t nice at all and just appearance.
The people I would say are Loyal to me. It would be my friend Hayley whom I have known since I can remember, and we don’t see each other a lot now, do see her as my friend for life and has never turned her back on me and will always have time for.
My Virtue family, who I am so amazed with. I don’t see myself as being anything than a girl who had a different dreams to most on my housing estate I grew up on, and has followed it.
So helpful, so this again is a trait I will alway follow and do wash up, even though this has been questioned. I will open a door for someone, but do want it acknowledge. The people who don’t say thank you when I am helpful not to be anywhere near my life, as for me this shows they have no respect for others and so never have time for people like that.
In terms of someone being helpful is my man and those who I have loved since a kid, like Oprah Winfrey, as her show she did was so successful because it wasn’t all centred around her but other people and not just the rich and famous, and found her show and video content as she does speak now at many Seminars, to be helpful. I saw that this successful woman had been hurt as a kid, didn’t always feel good about herself, and didn’t mind sharing it because she knew that there would be others feeling like that too.
Of course Mrs Hinch for her Activity book which has inspired me to write this post today.
Positive. So yes I have been doing lots of work on that, because I have sometimes been pessimistic and negative at times. I struggled through life some days and I am often anxious, and just now as I continued this blog was feeling anxious and I don’t often know why and I didn’t.
Using Postivity practices like using these tools in her activity book, has helped with that. Giving myself acknowledgement is okay, as I was often left to believe that I was wrong if I ever did that, but now I do.
We can often feel that we are at fault all the time, and there will always be those that can’t wait to have a go at your for something, even if it is breathing, and so being positive about yourself and life, by focusing on what yu bring to the world and life, and doing positive things, like acts of kindness and be helpful and funny.
Tidy. Now I struggle here. I am not always tidy. I hate cleaning and I feel somewhat positive again in be truthful about that. Now please don’t take this as I am untidy and I like mess. NO. I just find it a task to often pick up a cloth and wipe a surface down or vacuum and have the tendency to put it last.
In terms of someone I would be in life with who was tidy, it would be Nigella Lawson’s for her Pantry, have Jamie Oliver’s Kitchen, Carrie Bradshaw’s walk in closet and Jennifer Addison’s Friends Wardrobe and costumes.
Friendly is another trait I have always had and is how I have met a lot of my friends. I meet one of my friend Louise through watching the Rugby team the London Broncos, and I can be someone who shy’s away from people if I don’t know a lot of people and have suffered with Social Anxiety. However I have never allowed this stop me from being friendly and approachable.
I remember being picked on at the Comedy store and so many people were coming up to me afterwards and just chatted to me and it was a night I will always remember as yes I met Lee Mack there and we had a snog, then I got rat arsed like I usually did, sang karoake and how I got home I do not know, but was a bloody good night. If you have never been to somewhere like the Comedy Store then once Lockdown moves on, go.
Silly. Yes I do practice acts of silliness and sometimes like to just be silly even in my blogs, as that is me. I was called weird as a child and yeah I suppose to many I am, but I will always say hello if you are a genuine friendly as above person, and like to use my silliness in my books as I am writing a comedy as we speak and last year when it felt like the world was tumbling down, got up to This Old House by Shaking Stevens and was mucking about and it felt bloody good. Would like to do this again sometime.
So who would I like in my life that is silly. Well again my Love Lee, but also my cat Toby who would attack me regularly. Some are saying its because he saw me as his mother, well if I do start to eat cat food then I might take myself to the vets, especially if I start to jump at someone and attack their feet.
Fun. Well I love having fun, hence why I have written this blog post today. Fun for me is taking the piss out of those who feel it necessary to put my world down, and I am going to once I get the confidence is do dancersize and Boxercise. I just want to get rid of my swollen eye I have at the moment, caused by stress and get up on my feet put on some tunes and WORK IT OUT! YEAH I HEAR YOU SAY. LETS KICK SOME ASS!
Also this blog post has made me come up with a potential heading for one of my books or use it to create a Joke Book.
The person that comes into mind that comes to fun is Davina McCall, as her fitness DVD got me working out at home and now has her own fitness/exercise site called: ownyourgoals site and it has some workouts of hers and other fitness trainers and instructors, and I buy her fitness DVD’s every year. I just need a knew DVD player because my ex would often get rid of things and the XBox that was also a DVD player was replaced by a fifty two inch TV so I couldn’t use them.
So glad that, that is over we were no offence to him, suited at all.
Caring is something again I have just naturally had. I did cry when watching the Film Rocky Two where Silvester Stillion, charactor gets beat and alway sobbed to the book and film “Puff the magic dragon” if anyone can remember those. I wear my heart on my sleeve and never going to apologise for that.
Being Caring is in you and I am glad I am subconciously like that aswell as consciously. For me the person who comes into my mind when it comes to Caring, it has got to be my two Nans. On my dad side and mums, as they help bring me up and I spent a lot of time with them. That is how I would see many of my other relatives and I loved looking out of my nans flat in Doors road as it did have a brilliant view of Southwest and even Central London, and writint this makes me feel patriotic about where I come from. They would always make it an occasion on mine and my cousins birthdays and was my influences in my childhood and growing up.
So famous people it is three. Princess Diana, The Queen and Tony Robbins. I remember as a child I was very much a royalist and Lady Diana before she became a Princess, we used to see going to work when she like me worked in a nursery in South West London, and she would embrace people like no other and broke the barrier between us normal folk which I thought I was back then and being a member of the Royal Family.
Then the Queen also. She followed on the trend from her father giving a speech every Christmas and helped families through the Second world war as many building were bombed down, including where I used to live in Peabody Estate and was a comfort to people in the UK and around the world.
The other is Tony Robbins. This man changed my way of thinking just by one, yes one video and I was hooked. Now someone who I was once with in a relationship, hence why we never worked as I did respect his opinon but why we were so different. He would call it Brain washing. Well dah, no it is not. In fact it is far from it. He just makes you see that you are seeing regret for example a complete fail and I am never going to get my dream, to yeah you can. If you keep seeing failure that is all you will see. However if you say right that didn’t work but this is what I can do next away of moving you away from thinking you have nothing else to live for to yes you have everything to live for.
Then loving. Well again I am a loving person and perhaps too much some time, but seeing life now being in my 40’s it ain’t a bad trait to have and why I have met and come to know so many people because I will talk and listen and take in what people I have come to know say to me. I loved Butlins and the guests, as they would make you feel part of their holiday and that always made my day.
So for me those that have stood out for me in that category is my Aunty and Uncles as always used to on a Saturday as a little girl hope that they would be at my nans when we used to go over to my nan skinner on a Saturday and my mum and dad friends from Chelsea including my mums bestfriend Gill and family as I would stay at their houses with my friend Hayley and her sister. We used to go on Holidays including camping with them and I loved them. Plus all of my cousins even the most annoying ones.
Plus my inlaws from my previous marriage as they still looking out for me and love them still, as they welcomed me so well, and have been very understanding that my first marriage didn’t work out, and still send me messages to say so too, and I love that.
Some more people who I haven’t mention and that is all of my Rugby League friends I came to know as thinking of them even those whom are not part of my life now gave me a lot of memories too and made me feel welcome on my first ever game and that I had been going there for ages and so have to mention my friend’s mum and dad for that Phil and Susan Jones.
So why no do the same and use these words to journal how these words in Mrs Hinch Activity book means to you, and you’ll see that you do have more to life than what you may see.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
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Hello and welcome! If you have not been following me then I am doing a series of Blogposts and Youtube videos that have Life coaching tips and information and on topics that can effect and that we need to address, to help ourselves move forward to have a better life.
Here is a playlist I have created on Youtube of my Life Coaching videos, and more will be added soon:
So this blog I am talking about How Love can save the day, because love is something that grows within you because it is a natural human instinct, and when someone is down and you don’t pass judgement or have an opinion and listen to them, that is love and means the world to a child or an adult.
We all at some point need reassurance, and just knowing that there is someone out there who loves you, is a great comfort and should be what you should try to focus on if you are having a bad time. I did a video which will be going live on Youtube on Tuesday, and it is about How to deal with events in our lives that are out of our control and if you know someone who is going through that at the moment, just send them a message to say “I just want you to know I love you and here” and those words will mean a million to them.
There are many different types of love and that is the beauty of it. You do get people who abuse it and they are the ones who use it because to them it is just a word. To me it means connection and a feeling that can be empowering and help drive us forward.
I was told by those I know who abuse it, that True Love doesn’t exist. Well funny that because yeah it does and I have found it, and it is the most comforting feeling one can ever have.
If we loved more than more hate would disappear and we would all feel more fulfilled and that we are all here for a reason. So stay strong, stay true and always know that love can conquer all.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
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Well tonight once again Henry my son decided to play up and not go to bed, and sometimes as with life some unplanned events can happen which often we see is beyond our control.
That’s why sometimes it is good just to Take 5. What I mean is taking 5 minutes or so just to take a step back and breath.
This can happen when being responsible for anything in our lives, including running a business.
So what do you do?
In the end I thought go out of the room, let him play about whilst I gather myself together, got some bits I needed downstairs and bought it upstairs and took a shower, and I have to say I felt a whole lot better.
When I looked in on him afterwards he was fine again and settled in bed.
We all need sometime to just breath and take some time for ourselves to recuperate, we are living machines that constantly thinking, doing and acting, and when children don’t settle or someone is sick or some money didn’t go in as expected it can really be like “For God sake let me have a break”, so if things like Lockdown is getting under your skin take 5 and you will feel a whole lot better.
Lockdown was beyond our control and if you are having to work from home and look after children it can take its toll and you can be the one who feels like screaming.
I am sure there are parents who wish to do a runner rather than your kids during lockdown, as we look for endless things to do, which is still limited at the moment.
So if you need to take 5 do it because its the only way we can stop ourselves from going insane.
Stay safe and many thanks for reading.
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It has been a testing year so far one that I am not sure I want to remember. I have met someone new and I love them with all my heart but I am going through a marriage break up, which is still tough.
Love is a strange feeling, it can give you so much joy or sadness and I feel now that sometimes due to betrayal that some love can never be fixed and put back together again.
Life after marriage is like being on a rollercoaster that you struggle to get off, and feel like as soon as I feel everything is okay that it crashes before I know it.
So the first tip I would give, is to,
Create a new beginning. So change your mindset and see it as it time to end that chapter of your life and time to start a new one.
Let it all out, I am a believer that sometimes crying is the great healer and helps get your emotions and feelings out of your system.
Keep a journal. I love to journal and is a great way to gain perspective.
Form new relationships. Being with someone who is negative can bring you down and can make other people unhappy. Build new ones and stick with them.
Be aware of your feelings, as they do change and if you feel you no longer love someone that is time to call it a day.
Stop feeling guilty. No one likes a break up but if it isn’t working it is a signal that you need to move on, so forget the guilt and move on.
Find the courage to rebuild your life and remember to breath.
Speak to someone who can give you support in this troubled time and listens without giving an opinion.
Take care of your health and wellbeing. In a marriage break up it is important that you look after yourself rather than other people just yet. You need gain perspective listen to your feelings and be strong
Don’t use your children to point score or as a weapon. It isn’t their fault and should be listened to if they are upset
Divorce affects many people, but you have to get to know yourself again, because often when we get married and have kids we can lose our identity.
I have created a cheat sheet with the following tips above, which I hope you will find useful as you can print off to remind yourself.
Everyone can build a castle 