Tag Archives: self help

Life Coaching/”2022 Project”/When you mess up?

10 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by in 2022 Programme Life coaching blogs, Everyday living, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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Well where do I begin. Yes what to do When you mess up?

I have messed up a lot, like when I was working for a Marketing company, my first full-time job and was an Office Junior, sent a load of books which had peoples names on them, didn’t see them and sent them to the wrong person. My heart sunk and then I was helping with Printing out sheets for a project and printed a load of them to the point the documents all over the place.

We all can mess up, and get things wrong but it is how to deal with it that will help you so continue to grow in your life, and remember “We are all human” we will get it wrong.

The powerful thing you can do is to admit it not run away.

The feelings you get when you mess up is gut wrenching and like “How do I deal with this and turn it around so I prevent it from happening again?” and make it right. For me it is “Can this be fixed?”

Yes it can. I analyse a lot and it drives me mad, as I have done some stupid things and yet I still kept a roof over my head and I have achieved things in my life. I would call myself a lot a nightmare, but really its reality. I find it hard to deal with.

I have questioned my life and why I keep messing up?

I think because I don’t often feel worthy and imposter syndrome and that there things I do still like to have in my life and scared of “What if I never get the chance?”.

Yet this is someone who has achieved a lot and even writing that, I hear the voice saying “Really, your not supposed to feel like that and that is being big headed”.

Do you ever feel this way?

It’s the voice of doubt and the one that can stop me in my tracks sometimes, but I have a way to deal with the inner critic, and is “Hear it, talk to it and push it away”.

We have all made a mess in our lives, and that it can be rectified. It’s believing in yourself and not be so harsh on yourself.

It can become draining, and so putting the gut wrenching feeling when you mess up, is to say “Ok I didn’t get it right this time, but I will and this is going to make me stronger” and it has.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching #2022project/Habits of a lifetime

26 Thursday May 2022

Posted by in 2022 Programme Life coaching blogs, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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I never thought I’d be reaching this point in my life, if you’d had seen me last year, spending time in a mental health hospital, yet here I am with over a hundred followers, so thank you for the time you have spent on reading my blogs, it is truly touching and drives me to create more that reach out to you and that you find them helpful to you.

I have created a new Life Coaching video about Managing your life/new habits and making your life your own.

As I write this blog I am listening to the song “Wind of change” brilliant song, and I want to be able to whistle in tune and learn how to play electric guitar. So that is a new habit I have created there, lets see if it happens. I will let you know.

Habits can last a life time, but they have to benefit you. I want to whistle so I can write more songs. as I do like to write music and still have that ambition of wanting a song I have written on the radio, and is a dream that never goes away.

I have just recently been doing new habits, not having my phone near my bed until the next day to put it on charge, but not at night. This has been uplifting and now I know that this will be a new one I know I will follow through with, along with making bed, which I had been trying to do, but never kept but now it is a must, to not attempt me to get back into it.

I have also been doing my indoor workouts, and it is good to get in touch with your body and just stretching, lifting weights and walking, really makes a massive change in the way I think and see myself, the human body is amazing of what it can do, so get in touch with it. Take up a skill that you’ve been wanting and get into the habit, and not rush into it. TAKE YOUR TIME!

Keep them relevant to what you want to achieve by following new habits and feel. That is important, like not driving everyday to work, but walk on some days, to save money on petrol, to then use that money to save for something else.

The other habit I have been doing, is taking off my make up with a wet hot flannel and feels so good, and really has made a difference to my skin, not getting dry and I just use hot water from the tap, and in the mornings, I will use my face wash. So it is little habits like that one, that can make a difference to how you live your life.

So get a pen and a pad and write about the habits you do and what others that will help you, and pick ones that you can begin right away. If they make you excited and happy, then they are working.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching/Holding Yourself Back

03 Tuesday May 2022

Posted by in 2022 Programme Life coaching blogs, career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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Are you worried about rushing into things, like taking a promotion at work?

You’d like to go for it but something is holding you back.

Evaluate and write down the fears and take time to go through your worries and concerns, and what would help you overcome these fears you are having.

  • You may be thinking would I have to do extra hours?
  • Would I be able to earn more money?
  • Would it require working on different days unlike what I do now?
  • Would I cope with the promotion and am I capable of leading a team?
  • Perhaps you want to write a book, but you feel you are incapable and that you feel you can’t compete with other writers.

Use these fears to push yourself into gear and be in the mindset that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!

Life is full of chances to change your life, for example I have unknown to me got more followers on Pinterest and it meant adding more content to the pins that I have worked on and its building and building yourself that you need to focus on. Facing your fears of what is stopping you,

THE NEED TO BE DEALT WITH!

Just start by writing and answering the above questions.

  • Begin to picture yourself writing the book or taking the promotion you really want to go for, and write one thing that would push you forward.
  • If you want to write a book, start by jotting down notes and your ideas. Imagine yourself writing the book, picture the scene of the book, like you would when watching a movie.
  • Start building and putting together the reason why you want to go for the promotion or write a book how will it improve you life?
  • Perhaps you feel you can’t write a book because you don’t read books, then there is no time like the present to begin reading books. It really helps when putting your own book together, and finding the style that works for you.

If you get a promotion and your worried that the relationship with your colleagues are gonna change towards you, then,

  • sit them down and have a meeting about it, even if it is one to one
  • tell them your plans in what things you want to help your colleagues with,
  • how the relationship with them will grow so there are no barriers between you and them.

Who around you inspires you?

  • It could be a friend
  • a family member or
  • someone you see on the TV,
  • what they bring to the table that you like
  • how can you implement their way of being into your own.

You can be inspired by other people, without feeling jealousy and begrudging. I want to see people do well, and if you support them they will do the same. It may take time but if you know what it is you want in life and know how this person makes you feel, then follow their path, not copy, but what things they teach you that you can add to your life for you to be just a successful.

I feel inspired listening to Celine Dion, and love her music and she went through a transition where she learned to speak English, had teeth surgery and altered her image, because Rene who was her manager and then became her husband, knew that for her to be in music and not be mocked by the press she would need changes that will help her grow as an artist and now sells billion records all over the world.

I have now changed my habits and implemented new ones:

  • I always make sure I have breakfast
  • Go walking and playing football and walks with my son
  • I read books whilst travelling to and from my sons home
  • Have night off on Saturdays and being away from my phone
  • Spend time doing colouring
  • Sunday is my training day where I will watch training videos on Youtube like Sara Cannon and Natalia Leigh who do videos about their life as self published authors
  • Keep tabs on my finances and making sure any bills due are paid and save as much as possible

It all adds to push yourself confidence and perhaps you feel you need more education to go for the promotion, and speak your superior as I did this working for an entertainments company where I would book tickets for people wanting to go to visit theme parks and I was struggling to remember the details I need to check to book tickets and so I spoke to my coach who gave me further training.

If you don’t ask you don’t get.

And be your own teacher to build your knowledge and make a time or day to do some self training if you knowledge is not up to scratch and will help push you forward to going for that promotion and never feel you can’t compete, because YES YOU CAN!

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Is Bird Pooh Lucky

20 Thursday Jan 2022

Posted by in empowerment, Everyday living, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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So because I had a meeting today, I thought I’d go over to my sons dads house by train, I usually travel by bus as I left the station I suddenly see a drip and on my brand new scarf was bird pooh.

Bird Poop Stock Illustrations – 176 Bird Poop Stock Illustrations, Vectors & Clipart - Dreamstime

Some people used to say that bird pooh was lucky, but did I feel lucky when it happened today en route? NO!

What I do believe is that there are things that happen which is hard to escape and how many can say they have had bird pooh on them too and did you get good luck?

I’d like you to leave a comment below if you have, and I will see what happens, whilst I put my new scarf not had for a full week yet, now into the wash.

Good Luck On Test Clip Art free image download

Is life about being lucky?

In my opinion yes. because twice now I had lost my son’s swimming hat and goggles and worried about them and searching my bedroom where I thought they were and then having to see if I could buy a new pair easily but couldn’t, as I was getting Henry changed, someone had hung them on the hook of the womens changing room and so going by what happened and it wasn’t like I had enough time this was on the day and hour before my son’s class. I put that down to luck and reminds me that there are angels in our world as who would have guessed that someone would do that.

I do believe in God and always have and feel guided more so than now, but he can’t control everything but does his best to help you. That is my opinion anyway and yet, I do respect those who think differently.

Bad Luck Royalty Free Cliparts, Vectors, And Stock Illustration. Image 10493481.

Can you create what luck you receive?

From experience yes. Life is about choice and what you want to come your way. Being a mum I have had to manage my life differently and if I had not gone around to the hospital that luckily we lived next door my son, may not have survived as his heartrate began to drop, so reacting correctly he was born safely and now is 8 years old, going onto 9, so I know I made the right choice that even at 31 weeks knew I had to go to the hospital rather then staying indoors worrying.

We create our own destiny but can’t help all events in our lives but having a bit of luck can help, and when I do get luck don’t take it for granted, and so for me if I don’t win the lottery as I need a ticket to do so, I would put it down to pure bad luck.

Thank you so much for your support on this site and seeing the likes is fantastic and if you want to share my blogs with other then please do.

I also have three Youtube channels along with books and other blogs.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVjvO2fsowvFne_iMuG7d1g/videos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW6X7xXVFoaToqlDpGLTtSg

Link for my Pinterest:

https://carriesversitilefashion.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

You can find my books on Amazon.com, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 22/30 Day Challenger/blog a day/People whom you see as weird are still human

23 Friday Jul 2021

Posted by in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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On the way back from a Mother and Toddler group I checked out one of the buses which go passed the station for when I started a new job. This was about 7 years ago.

At the bus stop this lady approached and she wanted to see Henry and started shaking him not roughly and she got a bit worried because he was zonked out, and says “Whats the matter he woke wake up” and so I applied “He’s okay just a sleep” and I didn’t get alarmed but was sad for her as she must have witness a child not waking up hence why she panicked.

6,966 People socialising Stock Photos | Free & Royalty-free People socialising Images | Depositphotos

She did look like she had a few too many alcoholic drinks but not knowing her I didn’t get cross and just moved on. I don’t know this lady and it is surprising how people can be having more of a bad time to worry for other people and children.

We do need to be respectful as noone knows what someones been through to be alarmed, and she did look like she had troubles and so if you see someone who is different to the norm, try not to judge because they are doing it based on their life. If they wish to talk then let them.

I didn’t feel threatened by this lady’s actions and could see the anxiety she had and we do need to stop judging people.

So #BeKInd and #staystrong.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

What is this all about? Updating posts relevant to my current way of living

24 Wednesday Mar 2021

Posted by in Personal Development

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So this week I am updating many of my passed blog posts to make them current and relative to my current way of living. I have never been more structured in my life and Everyone Can Build A Castle was about, how to develop your life so you too can have a castle that is full of opportunities and possibilities and it is symbolism of how everyone can have a happier fulfilled life, it’s all about making changes that will last not just for the new year, but forever.

Sheffield's long-lost castle reveals the city's deep roots in the Middle Ages - Archive - News archive - The University of Sheffield

I am a Jet Setter and a doer and this in many articles and other blogs I have read, is often seen as a bad thing, but is it?

No! I like the fact that I like to do a lot of things, and jump in with both feet, as it is what has helped me fight through the bad times of my life, and keep going, even though, there are those who tried to stop me, but I never allowed it to defeat me and battled my way through mental torment aswell as physical.

You know my Grandad had about 6 life threatening attacks on him? Yes in the second world war, when he was fighting out in Burma. He missed being killed a lot during that time, and we all joked that he is like a Human Cat and had 9 lives, as honestly being almost shot in the head, but the bullet went through his hat to the person behind him is like someone was looking after him, and that he was being saved for a purpose. I do believe in God and hearing those stories made me see that even after such troubling time, you can still grow peacefully and when he told me of those stories, I was like “Bloody hell how are you still standing?”, but yes, and he then went onto having a successful career afterwards as a Bus Conductor and before then had his own Butchers shop, which got hit and never to be returned too.

Now he joked about that, because he did what wardons told him not to do apparently, and that is leave the lights on as you will be a target and yes he forgot and yes it was a direct hit. But would he have done that?  it was because there were some stores like his being broken into, and so he wanted to treat those kids a lesson and would tell them, when he found out which ones they were, and yes it was often a young lad stealing, but not too especially in the war and they would make out it was the owner of the stores who had left the lights on, but no it was them, and if you’re gonna do that, expect to get hit, and if you steal and are in my store at the time of when it gets blown up, so will you.

My Grandad Charlie Skinner, was known in the war as “The Man with 9 lives”. So it goes to show that even going through a war, you can still create a new life too and that is what this blog is all about. Building your life and becoming a success.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Creating a foundation and following the unplanned

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by in Boundaries, Personal Development

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The one thing I have learned from being a child, a teenager and an adult, is that the more of a foundation you create, the more you will be able to handle rejection, criticism and general negativity in your life.

You will never stop anyone from feeling negative towards you, there will always be people who will see things differently to you, but it doesn’t really mean they are wrong or you are, and there will always be, no matter what, people who do nothing more than bring you down. They want to bring you to their level to make them feel good, no matter what.

My advice,

Leave them in their misery”

“If they never have anything good to say, then let this be their problem, not yours. Never allow these people to stop you from what you believe in or what you want to do with your life as that is exactly what they want”*

 

What type of foundation should you want to create?

One that makes you smile when you feel down, and gives you fulfillment, gives you security and reassurance.

Those people around you, who know how to bring you back to earth, and let you know that if what you plan in your life doesn’t go to plan, they still have your back at the end of the day.

There is the negative and the positive foundation

Those who will instantly bring you up and those who will instantly bring you down, those who will purposely lead you down a bad road, and you end up hurting yourself and others.

How many stories do we read of famous people who end up with the people who dictate what they should wear, eat and who they should be in a relationship with, and ended up being with someone that changes their life forever, leading them into drugs and drink, and before they know it, their life is out of control.

Did they have a good or bad foundation?

I don’t believe people actually wake up in the morning to have a bad day.

If there was a pill to bring people happiness, I guarantee it would sell out within a day. I believe that people all want to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled, because what is the point of being alive if not?

People who become famous for example, for singing, acting and creating worldwide businesses, obviously felt that this talent couldn’t got to waste and had a purpose to their life.

I never believe someone who becomes famous plans to fail or go down the wrong path, and purposely sets a bad foundation, but it can too often be because the people supporting them can often get lead by the fame too, and are forever saying “Yes” and not “No” and when people get used to people saying “Yes” to their needs, they can often go against those who say “No” when they are the ones who are trying to help them the most.

They get lost in the world of fame and find it hard to bring themselves up into the realworld again.

Then there are those who have started of with a poor foundation, or started of with a bad foundation, but through determination, strength and never letting any challenges pull them down, have thrived to create an amazing foundation, that can never be taken down, no matter what.

The one person who strings to my mind when I think of this, is famous people like Richard Branson, who started selling things out of the boot of his car and created one of the most famous brands in the world. Virgin.

However you don’t have to become a multi millionaire or even billionaire to create a good foundation, which can become unbreakable. Sometimes people who come from nothing to a millionaire can seem like they have a good foundation, but then get out of control and ended up bankrupt.

I remember reading one of Paul McKenna’s books and he described that even though he was in the prime of his career, how he felt empty and not completely fulfilled as he had hoped.

I remember the girl bad TLC, from the 90’s and they had a hit with “Don’t go chasing Waterfalls”, and looked like they were on the road to an amazing lifelong singing career, only for it to all come crashing down.

Now the bad no longer exist. Well I haven’t heard anything since watching VH-1 years ago, when they did a documentary on their career.

All the money they had made from their hits, had gone.

There will always be times when you will trip and fall, but creating a foundation around you will help support you.

I am also a great believer in that sometimes the unplanned is better than the plan, when something out of the blue occurs and it feels amazing and then you start to develop a foundation to maintain that unplanned event, that has changed your life.

An Example: I went to work down in Bognor Regis, as I wanted to work within a holiday camp and work within the entertainments department.

That never happened. Instead I met my now husband, and then within a year we were living together, and now 14 years later, we are married with a son, which was the greatest gift ever.

That has become my foundation.  

The roads we choose may vary, and it may take several routes for us to get where we really truly want to be, but with the correct people around us, to help us in our journey we are more than likely to succeed.

Be weary of who you choose. It is okay to be picky, just make sure that they suit you, and meet your expectations, are honest with you and you in turn respect them and treat them as part of a team, and give credit when it is due, there is nothing worse when you have helped someone, and they haven’t even said thank you.

My son and husband are my foundation. When I feel low, I just have to take one look at them and I feel good, I know I have something to succeed for.

I knew going to Bognor Regis I would gain my independence and find a life of my own, and I did just that. I did try getting into the entertainments side, but by then I was on the road to another path, and found my passion for fitness, taking on charity runs and did my first half marathon, I then found my passion again for writing and here I am.

Continuing with the foundation I already have, I have now started to create a another foundation, by having my own income again, for the next path, and I am no longer worried about following the initial plan, but setting myself goals and targets.

It isn’t about the plan, but what you learn and discover as you go about your life.

Related blog I recommend: http://balanceinme.com/blog/life-balance-foundation/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Chasing Dreams

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by in Personal Development

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Lets begin with a question.

If there is one thing you have always dreamed of doing and you knew you couldn’t fail at getting to achieve that dream what would it be?

I would like you to just think about that question for a second before you read on.

To get to achieve the things you would like you have to first of all think about your priorities.

What are your main priorities that you need to maintain in your life?

For me my priorities are:

– Being a mum and looking after my son.

– To provide for my family and support my husband

– To look after our home, and create a foundation to help us save towards a new home our dream home.

– To continue to look after myself and help those who need help and support more

What do I want to do that will help keep those things together, but will help me to focus on the things I want?

My dreams,

– To work from home so I can spend time with my son through his most important time of his life.

– Work Part-time to help support my husband, to go towards the things our son needs,  and things we need to keep our home in order, clean and tidy; whilst I work towards and fund my dreams to having a successful career and be a successful housewife.

– To have a career as a writer, create projects using my coaching skills to help further to build people’s confidence and helping communities who are in more need than me.

– A better financial situation for myself.

So far I have achieved 4 things. I now am working from home voluntarily as a blog writer and published my first book last year, and since first writing this blog, I have written my first ever novel “A Lonely Walk to Happiness” available at http://www.amazon.co.uk 

And I am now writing my third book and this year got my first freelance writing job. Writing for someone else.

I coached a local youth football team, 2 in fact and now want to use that to eventually help people in communities to build better life skills and use sport and fitness like it did for me to form better relationships with people through learning about team work and to help support families in need and help to build their confidence about themselves.

I then began making Vlogs to help people who have self confidence issues on YouTube and I already do fundraising through doing charity runs and walks. My Youtube channel has grown since first writing this blog, and now share part of my world in videos too. Sharing my life as a working parent and my many interests, and loves.

My Youtube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

I have been working part time for 2 years now.

There is still a lot I need to put into achieving the rest, but I know with my persistence, strength and beliefs I will do all the things on my current dreams list.

What helps me to achieve the things I want is by visualising. I imagine that I have already achieved the goal, what I felt, my appearance, the colour of the image, how I am dressed, standing and what I can smell, to make me feel as is it has actually happened. Visualising dreams can help you see clearly what it is you want. There is no point getting into a car without knowing where you want to go. You should always have a destination.

Visualising your dreams will help to train the brain to send those positive signals, that produce endorphin’s that give you excitement, happiness, peace and belief. When you see the image of the dream you want to create for real, write it down into your dreams book (or whatever notebook you use).

In the picture what is it you see?

How did you get there?

When a castle was built it would have taken many men, but it would have been from one persons visualisation that helped create it into reality. It would have been from an image in someone’s mind to create the picture of the castles you see on our lands today. It would have taken weeks and months, probably several years to build, but it took ones persons image to produce that dream for real. They may have had to tweak or change the original image as it was being built, due to the land, the materials used and any laws they had back then to when they were built but it would have been from one persons imagination to begin with to create that structure. They would have had to draw it out, describe it to their fellow men, and they may not have agreed or even may have had to convince people of building these magnificent attractions which still sit on our lands today. However these magnificent creations did become a reality, and were built and completed no matter what challenges were faced.

Castles are made up of pieces put together to create a frame and structure so it stands correctly so it doesn’t fall down. I bet there were days when they first started, where they began to have doubts when creating such huge landmarks.

Doubts are normal they are what helps us to weigh up the pros and cons, but what you need to do is not allow the doubts to hold you back. Address the doubts, what is that is saying are you sure? Ask yourself what if someone else takes that dream you want away from you, how would that make you feel?

  • Do you want to be the best at what your already currently good at now?
  • Or do you want to do something completely different?
  • How would you feel if someone else tried to take your ideas you have worked on to build their life?
  • If you want to do something completely different would you be willing to start from the beginning again, at the bottom to work your way back up to the other path you wish to take on, in your life?
  • Going back to the question I asked at the beginning, if you knew you couldn’t fail at achieving the dreams you want what would it be? What steps would you take?
  • What are your main priorities?

The people or things in your life that you would put your neck on the line for and you are not willing to give up, those are the priorities to help you give yourself and them the life you want and to make your life and theirs even better.

Why do I want to do the dreams I have chosen?

The most important people in my life are my son and husband. I want to support my husband emotionally, to help bring up our son and financially.

The important thing in my life is my home where I live with my husband and son.

I want to help build a better life and future for myself, but also for my son and husband. I want to give my son the best start in life, but also invest in his future, should he want to take up a sport, or other interest and when he is a lot older if he wants to go onto college and university. Those choices that my son will make in his life I want him to be able to make without worrying about money. I am not saying that we will give our son everything he wants as I do think it is important that we still teach him the value of money and if there is something he wants he has to earn it and getting somewhere and being success includes putting in hard work. If he is naughty then we won’t be giving him what he wants. However I want to invest money that will help my son should the worst thing happen and I am no longer able to be there for my little boy.

I know that there is more out there for me but I have got to put the time, focus and commitment in for me to get to see what else I can have in my life. The same for yourself you can have the things you want in life but you have got to earn, commit, keep focus and not allow any challenges stand in your way.

Think about these words Earn it, keep it and invest it.

Set out your dreams, visualise and plan. Know your priorities and take on any challenges and doubts, address your doubts use these to push you on. Know where you want to go think about being in a car and as your driving you are  watching your life play out from your current life to your future, where do you want to be, what do you want to be doing, who do you want to be there?

You may on your way have to turn off as like life there may be a closed road or something may have occurred and so you are now needing to choose a different direction, but there will always be another route, and if you really want to get to that dream and the thing you have always wanted then you will get there.

I wish you good luck and never stop believing in yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X