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Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Tag Archives: fight back

How to cope when there are people who are against you

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Posted by Carries Blog Network in Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, empowerment, Everyday living, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development

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be with people who love you, Bullying, bullying at home, everyone can build a castle, fight back, how to cope when there are people who are against you, looking after your wellbeing, looking after yourself, negative people, uncomfortable atmosphere, unworthy

Two People Screaming At Each Other High Resolution Stock Photography and  Images - Alamy

So this year has been a rollercoaster and that is no exaggeration, it is sadly true, and I have opened to the fact that there are those who were born to be evil, and having nothing nice to say about anyone, apart from themselves.

I am gonna give you some tips if you too have experience a uncomfortable atmosphere and how to cope with it. Many say walk away, but that isn’t always an option, but these are;

  • Don’t entertain them. If they try to make you feel intimidated or they are threatening you, then don’t entertain them. Let them get on with it, and if they get in your face, then react by saying “I know what you are doing I am not scared so go away”.
  • Focus on those who do love you. It can be like being in a horrible bubble you can’t get out of, and so if there are others who do show you love and consideration then focus on them, as they are the sort of people that have always got your back.
  • Try and see if you can speak to someone outside of your bubble. Having home help, real kind, as there are some fake ones out there, can really make a difference, as often it can be difficult to know who you can turn too, and if you are a small child or a teenager reading this, speak to Childline who can help or have a chat with your GP to see if they can refer you to someone like a therapist or counsellor.
  • Let them see that you don’t really have a problem with them, it is often one rule for one and another rule for everybody else, and by showing them that as much as they dislike you or have a problem with you, you don’t really have one with them, which can often be the case.
  • Fight back, by showing them that no matter how much they try to demolish you, your going to carry on regardless. Many people who are not nice, don’t like to see anyone be happy and successful, but never allow it to stop you. Its your life, your rules not theirs.
  • Don’t react like they expect you too. Being someone who was bullied from an early age, learned how to react to the opposite to how people like them would expect, and not being angry back is one of them, and keeping a steady voice can help and that you aren’t going to hit them, like a lot of not nice people do, unless they go to far then a clout never hurt anyone to those who are just plain evil.
  • Take yourself away for a bit. I don’t mean move away completely as that is not always an option, but for a few hours or so, so you can spend time with those who do love you and where it is not uncomfortable, as a bad atmosphere can be like a massive weight on your shoulders.

We often can’t choose who we want to be with all of the the time, but you can as these tips above show still be happy without them, and live a happy life still.

I hope this blog does help and just a quick note, I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s this year as we draw near to Christmas, and so if you wish to donate, here is the link below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The Fear Of Being Bullied again

18 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Bullying it needs to be stopped

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Bullying, Change of Behaviour, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, Fear, Feeling Intimidated, fight back, Mental Health, Spotting the signs of a bully

Once you have been bullied you always have that fear of it happening again. Since being a victim of bullying myself I have learned how to spot the signs of a bully by their body language, how they progressively change; do they let the whole world know when you have done something they have not been happy with? Or told everyone around them when your backs been turned and purposely not done something and blamed you for the mistake or something they were supposed to do but didn’t?

They may put on a front at first and be all nice to you, but as soon as you start settling in at school or work, the behaviour and character starts to waiver and change. They may start by nit picking on things, by commenting on your personal image, they may start to act different in front of certain people when they are talking to you; do they pull faces as they are speaking you?

It doesn’t matter whatever level the person is, weather it is a school pupil, another colleague or if you feel a teacher or a manager is coming across as aggressive, confrontational as if they want to intimidate you then this can be the beginnings of a bully’s behaviour. If you come across anyone starting to make you feel isolated, spreading rumours or making you feel uncomfortable then you have the right to speak out and take action.

Let the bullies know you are not going to stand for the way they are being towards you, or rise to their level of abuse or wrong behaviour. You do not have to sit their in silence and you do have the right to tell them, that they are being wrong and you wish to do a good job but their behaviour towards you is effecting you from doing a good job, and if it continues you will take action to stop it from happening.

Here is a blog I am subscribed to which also talks about bullying, from someone who has also been targeted by bullies.

https://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/author/aeisenbe/

It also has tips on how to handle someone who is bullying you.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

What is this all about?

14 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Personal Development

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Body Image, Build, Building confidence, Dilemmas, Fear, fight back, goals, Low Self Esteem, Mental Health, pressure, Self Conscious, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, Stepping back, visualisation

takeaction

This blog is to help those to thrive and build better confidence in their lives, who may have experienced bullying or have body confidence issues, mind issues, such as anxiety, have been scammed and now feel unprotected, and trying to give tips and advice on what I have learned dealing with these demons too.

I give help and advice on how to fight back on all issues, not allowing passed experiences, mind issues or body confidence issues, to hold you back from living your life. I provide blogs on how to rebuild yourself after being bullied as the after math of being bullied can be hard after your confidence being knocked by the people or group responsible.

I called it Everyone Can Build A Castle, because it is basically a symbolism that everyone can be have a fulfilling life, be successful in life and have their dreams come true. Making changes and altering their thought processes.

The first castles built were in the Norman times, and remember back then they wouldn’t have had the resources we had today, and so would have taken a team of people, who worked day and night to create these historic buildings on our lands.

You can have your own castle too, by creating what is meaningful around you, that brings you wellness, happiness, and what gives you strength.

Think about the walls of a castle and within those walls is your symbolism of what you want from each of those walls in your life, do you want a family of your own? a career? an expensive car? travel around the world?

WELL YOU CAN, ANYONE CAN. So imagine those things, imagine that the family you want is standing right in front of you, the career you would like, the expensive car you want and an image of you travelling around the world.

Write about that image you see, what are the colours, who is there with you, how are you feeling in this picture, or when you see the car you want or you doing the career you want, put the image in an envelope and leave it beside your bed or on a shelf in a draw so you can look back at it. Or put it in a photo frame as a pretty display so it reminds you of your goal.

Create a mind inspiration board of all the things you would like.

The next step is TAKE ACTION. Take control of what you choose to do next to help you towards your goal.

A = allow your imagination run and again have a special notebook, call it the dreams book or whatever title you want. Every time you think about what you like in your life to be like write about it, and see if it matches or has changed since the one you wrote before.

C = come up with a plan of how you will achieve the things you want in your life.

T = Time. give yourself a deadline of when you want the things on your plan to be done by.

I = Imagine yourself in a years time, what would you want to achieve? 2 years, 3 years, etc again write it down in your dreams book.

O = Once you have come up with your plan, deal with the things that keep holding you back and write them down.

N = Never say never, as anything is possible, just keep believing and lets start making that goal or dream come true.

I found making just one lifestyle change such as exercising, learning all the time, changing my appearance has helped to accept myself and have better wellness. I love the people and things I have in my life now. I have had my struggles but the one thing I have told myself I will not allow myself to feel, is low, but be more fulfilled and to be determined.

In order to win the fight against what life hands out you, you have to fight the fight, and look at the good things that are already around you and build each day to make it even better.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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