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Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Tag Archives: Fear

What is this all about? Updating posts relevant to my current way of living

24 Wednesday Mar 2021

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Personal Development

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Tags

Body Image, Build, Building confidence, Dilemmas, Fear, fight back, goals, Low Self Esteem, Mental Health, pressure, Self Conscious, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, Stepping back, visualisation

So this week I am updating many of my passed blog posts to make them current and relative to my current way of living. I have never been more structured in my life and Everyone Can Build A Castle was about, how to develop your life so you too can have a castle that is full of opportunities and possibilities and it is symbolism of how everyone can have a happier fulfilled life, it’s all about making changes that will last not just for the new year, but forever.

Sheffield's long-lost castle reveals the city's deep roots in the Middle  Ages - Archive - News archive - The University of Sheffield

I am a Jet Setter and a doer and this in many articles and other blogs I have read, is often seen as a bad thing, but is it?

No! I like the fact that I like to do a lot of things, and jump in with both feet, as it is what has helped me fight through the bad times of my life, and keep going, even though, there are those who tried to stop me, but I never allowed it to defeat me and battled my way through mental torment aswell as physical.

You know my Grandad had about 6 life threatening attacks on him? Yes in the second world war, when he was fighting out in Burma. He missed being killed a lot during that time, and we all joked that he is like a Human Cat and had 9 lives, as honestly being almost shot in the head, but the bullet went through his hat to the person behind him is like someone was looking after him, and that he was being saved for a purpose. I do believe in God and hearing those stories made me see that even after such troubling time, you can still grow peacefully and when he told me of those stories, I was like “Bloody hell how are you still standing?”, but yes, and he then went onto having a successful career afterwards as a Bus Conductor and before then had his own Butchers shop, which got hit and never to be returned too.

Now he joked about that, because he did what wardons told him not to do apparently, and that is leave the lights on as you will be a target and yes he forgot and yes it was a direct hit. But would he have done that?  it was because there were some stores like his being broken into, and so he wanted to treat those kids a lesson and would tell them, when he found out which ones they were, and yes it was often a young lad stealing, but not too especially in the war and they would make out it was the owner of the stores who had left the lights on, but no it was them, and if you’re gonna do that, expect to get hit, and if you steal and are in my store at the time of when it gets blown up, so will you.

My Grandad Charlie Skinner, was known in the war as “The Man with 9 lives”. So it goes to show that even going through a war, you can still create a new life too and that is what this blog is all about. Building your life and becoming a success.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Creating a foundation and following the unplanned

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Personal Development

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Building, Creating a foundation, Determination, developing your life, everyonecanbuildacastle, family, Fear, goals, Learning and developing, life skills, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, succeeding, the unplanned, visualisation

The one thing I have learned from being a child, a teenager and an adult, is that the more of a foundation you create, the more you will be able to handle rejection, criticism and general negativity in your life.

You will never stop anyone from feeling negative towards you, there will always be people who will see things differently to you, but it doesn’t really mean they are wrong or you are, and there will always be, no matter what, people who do nothing more than bring you down. They want to bring you to their level to make them feel good, no matter what.

My advice,

Leave them in their misery”

“If they never have anything good to say, then let this be their problem, not yours. Never allow these people to stop you from what you believe in or what you want to do with your life as that is exactly what they want”*

 


What type of foundation should you want to create?

One that makes you smile when you feel down, and gives you fulfillment, gives you security and reassurance.

Those people around you, who know how to bring you back to earth, and let you know that if what you plan in your life doesn’t go to plan, they still have your back at the end of the day.


There is the negative and the positive foundation

Those who will instantly bring you up and those who will instantly bring you down, those who will purposely lead you down a bad road, and you end up hurting yourself and others.

How many stories do we read of famous people who end up with the people who dictate what they should wear, eat and who they should be in a relationship with, and ended up being with someone that changes their life forever, leading them into drugs and drink, and before they know it, their life is out of control.


Did they have a good or bad foundation?

I don’t believe people actually wake up in the morning to have a bad day.

If there was a pill to bring people happiness, I guarantee it would sell out within a day. I believe that people all want to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled, because what is the point of being alive if not?

People who become famous for example, for singing, acting and creating worldwide businesses, obviously felt that this talent couldn’t got to waste and had a purpose to their life.

I never believe someone who becomes famous plans to fail or go down the wrong path, and purposely sets a bad foundation, but it can too often be because the people supporting them can often get lead by the fame too, and are forever saying “Yes” and not “No” and when people get used to people saying “Yes” to their needs, they can often go against those who say “No” when they are the ones who are trying to help them the most.

They get lost in the world of fame and find it hard to bring themselves up into the realworld again.

Then there are those who have started of with a poor foundation, or started of with a bad foundation, but through determination, strength and never letting any challenges pull them down, have thrived to create an amazing foundation, that can never be taken down, no matter what.

The one person who strings to my mind when I think of this, is famous people like Richard Branson, who started selling things out of the boot of his car and created one of the most famous brands in the world. Virgin.

However you don’t have to become a multi millionaire or even billionaire to create a good foundation, which can become unbreakable. Sometimes people who come from nothing to a millionaire can seem like they have a good foundation, but then get out of control and ended up bankrupt.

I remember reading one of Paul McKenna’s books and he described that even though he was in the prime of his career, how he felt empty and not completely fulfilled as he had hoped.

I remember the girl bad TLC, from the 90’s and they had a hit with “Don’t go chasing Waterfalls”, and looked like they were on the road to an amazing lifelong singing career, only for it to all come crashing down.

Now the bad no longer exist. Well I haven’t heard anything since watching VH-1 years ago, when they did a documentary on their career.

All the money they had made from their hits, had gone.

There will always be times when you will trip and fall, but creating a foundation around you will help support you.

I am also a great believer in that sometimes the unplanned is better than the plan, when something out of the blue occurs and it feels amazing and then you start to develop a foundation to maintain that unplanned event, that has changed your life.

An Example: I went to work down in Bognor Regis, as I wanted to work within a holiday camp and work within the entertainments department.

That never happened. Instead I met my now husband, and then within a year we were living together, and now 14 years later, we are married with a son, which was the greatest gift ever.


That has become my foundation.  

The roads we choose may vary, and it may take several routes for us to get where we really truly want to be, but with the correct people around us, to help us in our journey we are more than likely to succeed.

Be weary of who you choose. It is okay to be picky, just make sure that they suit you, and meet your expectations, are honest with you and you in turn respect them and treat them as part of a team, and give credit when it is due, there is nothing worse when you have helped someone, and they haven’t even said thank you.

My son and husband are my foundation. When I feel low, I just have to take one look at them and I feel good, I know I have something to succeed for.

I knew going to Bognor Regis I would gain my independence and find a life of my own, and I did just that. I did try getting into the entertainments side, but by then I was on the road to another path, and found my passion for fitness, taking on charity runs and did my first half marathon, I then found my passion again for writing and here I am.

Continuing with the foundation I already have, I have now started to create a another foundation, by having my own income again, for the next path, and I am no longer worried about following the initial plan, but setting myself goals and targets.

It isn’t about the plan, but what you learn and discover as you go about your life.

Related blog I recommend: http://balanceinme.com/blog/life-balance-foundation/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

The Fear Of Being Bullied again

18 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in having bad days

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Tags

Bullying, Change of Behaviour, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, Fear, Feeling Intimidated, fight back, Mental Health, Spotting the signs of a bully

Once you have been bullied you always have that fear of it happening again. Since being a victim of bullying myself I have learned how to spot the signs of a bully by their body language, how they progressively change; do they let the whole world know when you have done something they have not been happy with? Or told everyone around them when your backs been turned and purposely not done something and blamed you for the mistake or something they were supposed to do but didn’t?

They may put on a front at first and be all nice to you, but as soon as you start settling in at school or work, the behaviour and character starts to waiver and change. They may start by nit picking on things, by commenting on your personal image, they may start to act different in front of certain people when they are talking to you; do they pull faces as they are speaking you?

It doesn’t matter whatever level the person is, weather it is a school pupil, another colleague or if you feel a teacher or a manager is coming across as aggressive, confrontational as if they want to intimidate you then this can be the beginnings of a bully’s behaviour. If you come across anyone starting to make you feel isolated, spreading rumours or making you feel uncomfortable then you have the right to speak out and take action.

Let the bullies know you are not going to stand for the way they are being towards you, or rise to their level of abuse or wrong behaviour. You do not have to sit their in silence and you do have the right to tell them, that they are being wrong and you wish to do a good job but their behaviour towards you is effecting you from doing a good job, and if it continues you will take action to stop it from happening.

Here is a blog I am subscribed to which also talks about bullying, from someone who has also been targeted by bullies.

https://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/author/aeisenbe/

It also has tips on how to handle someone who is bullying you.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Tips for those who are being bullied

05 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in having bad days

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Tags

Be on guard, Bullying, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, Fear, Find your voice, Mental Health, Report Bully, speak up, Work place bullying

If you are a victim of bullying then have no fear, and please you deserve to be treated with respect by people and no one has the right to bully you.

It can have a massive impact on someone’s confidence, I know I have been there and I am so glad I did fight back and I didn’t allow it to control my life. You must not allow it to control yours either.

The way of stopping these bullies is to close the barrier on them and report what they are doing, otherwise if it isn’t you, it is more than likely to happen to someone else. Bullies usually will have issues of their own, which is no excuse and for them to understand that what they are doing is unacceptable you have the right to stand up to them. An easy way is to say “No you will not treat me this way” and take action by reporting it to your teachers or to your employer.

See my directory of websites set up to help those who are a victim of bullying or you know someone in your family or a friend who is being bullied. The thing about bullying it can upset the people around you too, as they can fill helpless and they want to fight back on your behalf but they worry because of the worse implications on you. They wish to protect you, but don’t want to make things worse.

See link of this Directory https://everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com/related-sites/

So please fight back. I would encourage anyone who has been a victim of bullying to talk about it as it is the only way we will make people, schools, the communities, and companies know what it is going on, and more action needs to be taken.

Please see link to a page where I have put a link to an example of a bullying Policy which is your evidence to say to your school, college or company that “I am being bullied and it states in this, the action that will be taken when bullying is reported, and so I wish to do that and I wish for it to stop”.

Fight back at bullying

Many thanks for your time, and for reading,

Carrie X

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