27 Friday Apr 2018
Posted in Personal Development
Check out this article I came across which talks about how to handle Anxiety.
http://frame.bloglovin.com/?post=6281355185&blog=13997320&frame_type=none
If you suffer with anxiety then the technique it describes may be of help to you.
Let me know how you cope with anxiety and what techniques you have tried.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
15 Sunday Apr 2018
Posted in Personal Development
Tags
anxiety, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, making yourself feel better, videos, wellness
Check this video of how to make yourself feel better. It has really some helpful tips.
03 Saturday Feb 2018
Posted in Personal Development
Sometimes I have to admit that on certain days I do get so overwhelmed that all I want to do is crawl up into a ball and just disappear.
Being parent I find can add to those feelings, as much as being parent it is rewarding too. There are sometimes no space for me to scream out “Don’t do this”.
So finding peace of mind can really help. The one thing that always brings me peace of mind in an instant is music, I couldn’t live without it, it has been my thing I have loved and given me escapism all the time, when times were tough.
It is important I feel to have peace of mind, just to breath in and breath out, and switch off from the everyday pressures that I have faced.
Here are some tunes that bring me peace of mind at the moment.
I love these types of tunes as they instantly help ease the mind and let feel at peace with myself, and I fill that is important to gain control of the mind. There have been times where I have lost control and when that happens you can end up in a very dark place in your mind.
Listening to some chill out music can be empowering aswell as giving peace of mind.
As soon as I hear it, it makes me stand still and take moment to just listen to my breathing and switch to my positive and empowering side of the mind.
So if you are stressing out find you peace of mind, whatever helps whether it is in music or getting fit, peace of mind is what we all need at times.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
04 Monday Sep 2017
Posted in Inspiration board, Personal Development
Tags
anger, anxiety, communication, depression, developing your life, family, feelings, inspiration, Mental Health, Relationships, young carers
Get yourself a notebook, or a piece of card or pin board, and put everything from pictures, to articles to video clips that inspire you, as this can help with anxiety and feelings of depression.
It is good to have a focus. I want to create my inspiration board for this blog, as there are videos and stories, I have come across through Youtube and books that have inspired me and could inspire you too.
I support mental health 100% because I have had mental health problems too, and can effect anybody, whether they are a millionaire to someone living on the streets, and can effect us at any point. Sometimes it may not be for one reason, but for many reasons.
I found this video on Youtube, by Tulisa, who was part of a band called N Dubz and an X Factor judge. She shares her story and others in this documentary, of young carers who’s parents had suffered with mental health, and how it can have a growing impact on young peoples lives.
This video was uploaded by Katie Thornton.
It makes me think of Henry, when he grows up, I hope he doesn’t have to be my carer when I am older, or will he suffer the same as he grows to have feelings and emotions.
I hope you find this video inspiring too, and let me know of videos and stories that you have found inspiring, I would be interested to find out.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
09 Wednesday Aug 2017
Posted in Personal Development
Tags
anger, communication, emotions, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, family, feelings, goals, isolation, Love, Mental Health, Personal Development, Relationships, visualisation
Wasn’t sure where I wanted to write this blog, but I felt I needed to add it to this site, as when we are trying to conquer our goals, the one thing that can stop us is isolation. We can often feel like we aren’t part of society and alone.
When I feel isolated the one thing I do is get out of the house and go for a walk. The worst thing you can do is to stay in doors, home alone. Getting out is important, as isolation usually means you need a new environment, and space.
Feeling isolated can lead us to feeling depressed, so getting out will help stop the cobwebs, which is what I call depressive thoughts, from emerging.
If you do get invited out, unless there is trouble getting to somewhere, take up the invite and go.
Isolation means you need to be with people, and you probably find that they too have felt isolated and alone, all they needed just like you, a friend.
If someone does talk to you, give them acknowledgement, instead of trying to ignore them.
It is so easy at times to isolate yourself especially if you are a new mum for example, but this is where meeting other mums for example, can really help. Knowing you aren’t alone in feeling like you a walking meal on tap, as from my own experience, as much as I love my son I did feel often like a walking cow.
Getting out is important for isolation and a new environment can really do the trick.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
06 Tuesday Jun 2017
Posted in having bad days
Came across this tune speaks volumes all there is, is to listen to the lyrics. Brilliant!
05 Wednesday Apr 2017
Posted in Personal Development
Tags
anger, emotions, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, familylife, feelings, rage, Relationships, unhappy
You go about your day happy as Larry, we sometimes call it, when people are content with their life, then suddenly someone barges you out of the way as if you aren’t there, you start to feel your mood change. You now feel as if someone has seen that you were having a good day, and peed all over it. “Thanks, that’s just great” you rage in your head”.
Now you feel your day is ruined. You feel there is no going back to feeling happy and you’re still playing the incident over in your head. You make it worse than what it is.
Can you get over it?
YES YOU CAN
I have been reading a book about anger because I knew it was something I needed to address. My mum says that “There is no point being angry as the only person who is angry is you”. That is true.
“That person who has bumped into you without a “Sorry” isn’t gonna care, so why should you?”
It is a waste of energy. I no I get wound up, at times, but learning to control it is the key.
Stepping away, and taking yourself out of that situation, just to reason and think about it before reacting can help put a handle on your blowing a fuse.
If we shout at the person who pushed you out of the way, what would they do?
Do you want confrontation, no I hate that. I just want the person to see that pushing me out of the way isn’t acceptable. The person is too busy wanting to rush to wherever they heading, but I am sure if they played it back, or it happened to them, they would feel differently.
Reasoning sometimes is too quick, so saying something like, “You can say excuse me and I will move out your way or careful please” so making them acknowledge what they just did is good because I am sure we have all been in a rush and not meant to but accidentally bumped into someone, the worse thing is when they don’t acknowledge it, but I am sure if you do say something, not stroppy but so they see, the majority of people would be mortified and will say sorry, if they don’t it’s their problem not yours.
They may not react in the way you want or give you the response your want, but I do feel when people do that it is subconscious, and not a conscious thing they meant to do. They’re to busy caught up in their travels, so what is the point of being angry?
They aren’t the slightest bit interested in you to let it spoil their day so why let it spoil yours.
How many of us have flown off the handle, when looking back it was minor. Me and my hubby had an argument over a plate of chips and a draw once. Writing that down seems so daft, and I still think “What was that really about?” How could it have been avoided.
Well at the time my hubby was trying to give up smoking and so was suffering with cravings, so perhaps I could have been more understanding, instead of thinking he was making a personal attack, and he had a point.
Why would I be happy to share a plate of chips but not share a draw, as we both lived there, and where we were living at the time, we wasn’t exactly spoilt for room.
Most arguments and anger can be avoided, if we took some time to breath and think about it before reacting.
At dinner times with my son, there have been many tantrums and tears, including myself wanting to throw a tantrum.
Looking back and even now if he isn’t hungry enough he will kick up a stink to sit down and eat his dinner. At nursery and in the mornings, come breakfast time he is fine with sitting up at the table.
Those moments do pass, and my tip is, is to not make a meal out of it, but try to create calm before the storm, and that can be playing some peaceful music, or get them to sit and watch a bit of TV to let them know dinner is coming and so time to settle down to eat.
I have lost the plot at times when he has kicked off wanting a tantrum of my own, so the best way is to step away and then come back even if it just for a minute, just to breath and think about.
So tips to controlling your rage;
So next time you feel angry or the pressure rising, take perspective and remember it won’t last forever.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
19 Thursday Jan 2017
Posted in Love
Tags
Building confidence, Creating a foundation, Love, Meeting someone, Relationships, Romance, Valentines Days
Please see my blog post I wrote on my website, Sports and Fitness passion, about Meeting someone through sport.
I was never someone who had loads of boyfriends and dated a lot.
I did go out with a few guys but nothing that was overly serious. It has to be right for you, and at the time of being with these guys I didn’t want to be in love. I wasn’t ready for that, it was just nice to have someone who liked me in that emotional way. It did help my confidence.
However I met my husband unexpectedly, when working at a holiday camp 15 years ago.
I have written more about this in my blog Building Relationships.
I had no intention of meeting anyone, and when I did, it just happened.
I did make the first move in the end, and sometimes that is what you need to do.
A great way to beat social anxiety and lack of confidence is to do somethings out of your comfort zone, and you never know if there is someone that you like, but neither of you are making a move, it could be that they are shy too.
SOMEONE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING!
I finally made first step when someone told me that, my now husband, could be potentially leaving the holiday camp and move on else where. I didn’t want to miss my chance.
We met up for a drink to begin with. I did stay at his but we didn’t do anything physical until later on as we continued to see each other.
That was important to me. It is all about learning to trust someone and finding that connection. Creating a potential foundation for yourself that will be there for you and help support you emotionally.
Never put pressure on yourself to be in love, but get yourself out of your usual environment and go to different places where you have a chance to meet someone. It is good to hang out with a friend that is very sociable as the chances are they will talk to them first, so then you can start talking to them.
Having a person who is an ice breaker and can open up the conversation for you is good, helps make it a casual met up. Have a chat, get to know them first, date and then see where it goes.
If you don’t take the plunge you never will.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
19 Thursday Jan 2017
Posted in Personal Development
Tags
2017, Be a good role model to my son, Better diet, Better nutrition, Building your life for the better, career changes, financially free, Fitness goals, Giving up something, More income, no new years resolutions, setting an example
Every new year now I no longer make resolutions. Instead I make life changes.
I find that changing it to that, helps me to stick to those changes.
I may fall off the rails from time to time, but I will always pick myself up and carry on.
life is full of hurdles and there will be times when I think “Why, why do I want to make this life change?” example my fitness.
From time to time, I have felt like throwing in the towel “No I don’t want to do any today, but then I feel anxious, like I haven’t accomplished much and get stuck in this battle with myself”.
As soon as I exercise whether it is running, walking or working out to a DVD at home, I am reminded why.
The one thing I am doing this year that I will change in my life, is to get ahead of myself. Hence why if you check out my websites below you will see I have written blogs about Valentines Day:
https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com
https://sportsandfitnessandpassion.wordpress.com
http://www.carriesreaworld.com
The other thing I have done this year, is keep a fitness journal diary, aswell as my pesonal Filofax I use to bullet journal my training. I have a book for my fitness diary/journal and created a fitness diary in blog form.
I decided to do this, not to preach about fitness, but show how I go about it, the dilemmas I may face, but to show people it is okay. We assume as people we have to be this ideal perfect person of ourselves. Yet it can often be that we are chasing something that is impossible, which is being perfect.
Fact: No one is perfect and everyone’s definition of what is perfect is different, so you’ll never be that. What you can be is yourself and build on that.
. It is okay I know I will get those days where the old mindset of not wanting to workout, will try and fight its way back in, but I got to be strong and say “No this is what I need to help me feel good, to help me achieve all my goals in my life I set”
My point is, if I can do even if it is 5 minutes of training so can you.
That is not impossible.
It isn’t about being someone else or changing completely, but something that will help move you to the next chapter in your life and claim the things you know you deserve.
Change your mindset.
If you want something get it. Don’t sit back, what if you knew you could get what you wanted in a day?
What would you do?
I have realised in order for me to feel body confident and get the size and shape I want to be, I need to be a bit more stricter with myself when it comes to fitness and my diet. I got to stop thinking “I can eat that cake, I’ll burn it off, no problem” I know I have been a bit reckless, and this has at the same time effected how I feel about myself, making me feel like I have less energy, not liking my image game.
I do not want to go down that road again, I know I deserve more, and so do you
So I am gonna take my diet and fitness more seriously, as I want to be more importantly a good role model to my son. I want him to have a well balance diet, but I know for him to have that I have to set an example.
When I see a chocolate bar and want to eat it, I now think “How will that make me feel later on?” Regretful. Not a good place to be. How will this look like to Henry, what message am I sending?
I am not saying, that I won’t have any, just not so much.
In relation to this I will be working out each day. So far in the week I am sticking with that, but finding weekends tricky but determined to stick to my life change and to find time at the weekends. If you want to know what I do I work in Customer Service.
I am giving up crisps. I made a choice, chocolate or crisps, and I chose crisps. Easy for me, and I don’t actually feel it is a massive lose.
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The other is be financially free. I do have debts, and I am keeping a Debt Diary, to help me address my spending issue and to get my debt cleared. Again I want to use this so when I am financially free, I can say how I did it to help others. Use my negative situation into a positive and to help make sure it happens.
I have been watching a lot of Grant Cardone. If you don’t know who he is, here is a taster of one of his videos which got me first watching him. He gives some really good tips on how to get the job you want. Another life change for me this year, to create more income and to build towards getting the career I want.
He to me is a business man Guru, a Messiah in his field. He is also very funny, and gives some great tips about creating more income.
As money gets higher in value, the value of money you earn in your job, like mine will working in customer service, will decrease .The value of items such as clothes and shows, will start to increase in price, and so it is important to build a better income.
The one tip that really sits in my head is:
Only save unless you are doing it to reinvest
It’s not about how much money you have at the moment, but what you can create and build towards having.
So my last life change now, for myself and is to build a higher income for myself and get that job I want, in the process.
Changes you make shouldn’t be about the New Year, but things you do that will change your life for the better.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
03 Tuesday Jan 2017
Posted in Boundaries, Personal Development
Tags
Building, Creating a foundation, Determination, developing your life, everyonecanbuildacastle, family, Fear, goals, Learning and developing, life skills, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, succeeding, the unplanned, visualisation
The one thing I have learned from being a child, a teenager and an adult, is that the more of a foundation you create, the more you will be able to handle rejection, criticism and general negativity in your life.
You will never stop anyone from feeling negative towards you, there will always be people who will see things differently to you, but it doesn’t really mean they are wrong or you are, and there will always be, no matter what, people who do nothing more than bring you down. They want to bring you to their level to make them feel good, no matter what.
My advice,
Leave them in their misery”
“If they never have anything good to say, then let this be their problem, not yours. Never allow these people to stop you from what you believe in or what you want to do with your life as that is exactly what they want”*
What type of foundation should you want to create?
One that makes you smile when you feel down, and gives you fulfillment, gives you security and reassurance.
Those people around you, who know how to bring you back to earth, and let you know that if what you plan in your life doesn’t go to plan, they still have your back at the end of the day.
There is the negative and the positive foundation
Those who will instantly bring you up and those who will instantly bring you down, those who will purposely lead you down a bad road, and you end up hurting yourself and others.
How many stories do we read of famous people who end up with the people who dictate what they should wear, eat and who they should be in a relationship with, and ended up being with someone that changes their life forever, leading them into drugs and drink, and before they know it, their life is out of control.
Did they have a good or bad foundation?
I don’t believe people actually wake up in the morning to have a bad day.
If there was a pill to bring people happiness, I guarantee it would sell out within a day. I believe that people all want to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled, because what is the point of being alive if not?
People who become famous for example, for singing, acting and creating worldwide businesses, obviously felt that this talent couldn’t got to waste and had a purpose to their life.
I never believe someone who becomes famous plans to fail or go down the wrong path, and purposely sets a bad foundation, but it can too often be because the people supporting them can often get lead by the fame too, and are forever saying “Yes” and not “No” and when people get used to people saying “Yes” to their needs, they can often go against those who say “No” when they are the ones who are trying to help them the most.
They get lost in the world of fame and find it hard to bring themselves up into the realworld again.
Then there are those who have started of with a poor foundation, or started of with a bad foundation, but through determination, strength and never letting any challenges pull them down, have thrived to create an amazing foundation, that can never be taken down, no matter what.
The one person who strings to my mind when I think of this, is famous people like Richard Branson, who started selling things out of the boot of his car and created one of the most famous brands in the world. Virgin.
However you don’t have to become a multi millionaire or even billionaire to create a good foundation, which can become unbreakable. Sometimes people who come from nothing to a millionaire can seem like they have a good foundation, but then get out of control and ended up bankrupt.
I remember reading one of Paul McKenna’s books and he described that even though he was in the prime of his career, how he felt empty and not completely fulfilled as he had hoped.
I remember the girl bad TLC, from the 90’s and they had a hit with “Don’t go chasing Waterfalls”, and looked like they were on the road to an amazing lifelong singing career, only for it to all come crashing down.
Now the bad no longer exist. Well I haven’t heard anything since watching VH-1 years ago, when they did a documentary on their career.
All the money they had made from their hits, had gone.
There will always be times when you will trip and fall, but creating a foundation around you will help support you.
I am also a great believer in that sometimes the unplanned is better than the plan, when something out of the blue occurs and it feels amazing and then you start to develop a foundation to maintain that unplanned event, that has changed your life.
An Example: I went to work down in Bognor Regis, as I wanted to work within a holiday camp and work within the entertainments department.
That never happened. Instead I met my now husband, and then within a year we were living together, and now 14 years later, we are married with a son, which was the greatest gift ever.
That has become my foundation.
The roads we choose may vary, and it may take several routes for us to get where we really truly want to be, but with the correct people around us, to help us in our journey we are more than likely to succeed.
Be weary of who you choose. It is okay to be picky, just make sure that they suit you, and meet your expectations, are honest with you and you in turn respect them and treat them as part of a team, and give credit when it is due, there is nothing worse when you have helped someone, and they haven’t even said thank you.
My son and husband are my foundation. When I feel low, I just have to take one look at them and I feel good, I know I have something to succeed for.
I knew going to Bognor Regis I would gain my independence and find a life of my own, and I did just that. I did try getting into the entertainments side, but by then I was on the road to another path, and found my passion for fitness, taking on charity runs and did my first half marathon, I then found my passion again for writing and here I am.
Continuing with the foundation I already have, I have now started to create a another foundation, by having my own income again, for the next path, and I am no longer worried about following the initial plan, but setting myself goals and targets.
It isn’t about the plan, but what you learn and discover as you go about your life.
Related blog I recommend: http://balanceinme.com/blog/life-balance-foundation/
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
