I was never someone who had loads of boyfriends and dated a lot.
I did go out with a few guys but nothing that was overly serious. It has to be right for you, and at the time of being with these guys I didn’t want to be in love. I wasn’t ready for that, it was just nice to have someone who liked me in that emotional way. It did help my confidence.
However I met my husband unexpectedly, when working at a holiday camp 15 years ago.
I have written more about this in my blog Building Relationships.
I had no intention of meeting anyone, and when I did, it just happened.
I did make the first move in the end, and sometimes that is what you need to do.
A great way to beat social anxiety and lack of confidence is to do somethings out of your comfort zone, and you never know if there is someone that you like, but neither of you are making a move, it could be that they are shy too.
SOMEONE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING!
I finally made first step when someone told me that, my now husband, could be potentially leaving the holiday camp and move on else where. I didn’t want to miss my chance.
We met up for a drink to begin with. I did stay at his but we didn’t do anything physical until later on as we continued to see each other.
That was important to me. It is all about learning to trust someone and finding that connection. Creating a potential foundation for yourself that will be there for you and help support you emotionally.
Never put pressure on yourself to be in love, but get yourself out of your usual environment and go to different places where you have a chance to meet someone. It is good to hang out with a friend that is very sociable as the chances are they will talk to them first, so then you can start talking to them.
Having a person who is an ice breaker and can open up the conversation for you is good, helps make it a casual met up. Have a chat, get to know them first, date and then see where it goes.
If you don’t take the plunge you never will.
Many thanks for reading,