• Free Printables
  • Related sites
  • Support Network Page
  • |About me and this site

Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Tag Archives: communication

Can you get rid of the past and can we learn from it?

Featured

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Everyday living, Personal Development, Positive Habits

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blog about the passed, communication, happiness and wellbeing, having regrets, learning from the passed

Am I going through the past a lot? This is a habit I have done all my life, but I can’t ignore as much as I try, so rather than avoid it I allow it to come into my mind and then I will address and think, what did I learn from that? For example when I went to Brownies there was a girl who was really bitchy and she would be very abrupt towards me and talk to me as if I was an idiot. This helped me to toughen me up and so when I went to Secondary school I made sure that noone was like that to me again. Many of the girls, as I went to a girls school, did try but I didn’t stand for it and showed my authority and when someone is rude I will speak up and say “You don’t talk to me in that way” and so has helped me to set boundaries.

Boundaries are the very important. It also taught me about communicating better and not talk as if someone is able to read my mind, like that girl did because they would play games at Brownies and because I was new wasn’t understanding it.

As a kid who was super shy, I needed support in understanding, but remembering this event, it made me decide on what type of person I wanted to be and that the way she reacted was wrong, and what would I have done if I was her. I know she was a kid herself and was still learning and thinking perhaps it was because she had troubles in how to interact properly and so needed to be given training and understanding, that her way of talking to me was wrong. She did get told off, and when the Brown Owl, The head of Brownies left so did she.

It taught me about morals and respecting others like I would like to be respected. She obviously thought that the way she spoke was her way of stamping her authority and had learning difficulties, who knows? Only she would know, and I think about the times where I had been unkind. There was a guy I worked with was super happy and cheerful and I couldn’t understand what he was say because he had a very thick accent and I was very dismissive and he then had a go at me. I then said “Sorry but I can’t understand you” and was worried in answering him in case he said something rude. All I had to do is say “Sorry but can you say that again” and it made me understand that when someone is being nice doesn’t mean they are actually being mean. So, the past incidences and help us with reactions to how we have been interacting with other people.

Can I fix that? Yes by realising that being rude is not necessary in any form, but being nice and polite goes a long way and it I don’t want people to think I am rude, because then people won’t want to talk to me. It didn’t make me an angel but human and I can’t mend what I once did but I can learn by being better to that person. Noone is ridiculous because they can’t understand a game, they just need to be shown again and someone to be beside them and show them, rather than shouting. Shouting is just someone not knowing how to communicate correctly and I have been guilty of that too, if I want a good response I have to initialize it.

Is it good to have regrets? A lot of people would say “No” and that it was part of them growing and I come to see that, is it worth regretting? NO because you can’t go back, so you have to move on and learn, Learning is the key to mending our ways and about the world and how it works. I believe in forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself and others may have done something wrong to upset you, and instead of arguing talking. I think with technology it is very good to hide behind it and not speak to a someone in person.

We live and learn by our actions and the past can have an impact on how we respond to others and I catch myself when I realise I am being like my dad and its like NOOO. I love my dad but he was very outspoken and said what he thought which wasn’t always good, but the one thing that was taught by him was how to talk to someone. He wasn’t ever rude as such he just was honest and he would talk to anyone, whether they knew him or not, and he loved to socialise. He would make us laugh because he would take the mickey but people never took him seriously and he never took himself seriously either, he was just very well spoken and I do feel sad that I never to to see him again before he died, but glad he was my dad, and remember the good parts and why everyone knew him and loved him.

So the past can help us to grow and be thankful for how the past has shaped us to think about the present.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

10 Ways to building confidence

15 Friday May 2020

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, Personal Development, Youtube videos

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

10 ways to building confidence, blog, Blogger, Blogspot, communication, everyone can build a castle, link

Please check out my blog on my related blog site to this one about Ten Ways to building confidence.

https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/

I have also written my Thoughts and Advice for the week. This is my Blog newsletter talking about Living for Each Day.

https://newsletterthoughtsandadvicefortheweek.blogspot.com/2020/05/living-for-each-day.html

Many thanks,

 

Carrie X

Inspiration board

04 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Inspiration board, Personal Development

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anger, anxiety, communication, depression, developing your life, family, feelings, inspiration, Mental Health, Relationships, young carers

Get yourself a notebook, or a piece of card or pin board, and put everything from pictures, to articles to video clips that inspire you, as this can help with anxiety and feelings of depression.

It is good to have a focus. I want to create my inspiration board for this blog, as there are videos and stories, I have come across through Youtube and books that have inspired me and could inspire you too.

I support mental health 100% because I have had mental health problems too, and can effect anybody, whether they are a millionaire to someone living on the streets, and can effect us at any point. Sometimes it may not be for one reason, but for many reasons.

I found this video on Youtube, by Tulisa, who was part of a band called N Dubz and an X Factor judge. She shares her story and others in this documentary, of young carers who’s parents had suffered with mental health, and how it can have a growing impact on young peoples lives.

This video was uploaded by Katie Thornton.

It makes me think of Henry, when he grows up, I hope he doesn’t have to be my carer when I am older, or will he suffer the same as he grows to have feelings and emotions.

I hope you find this video inspiring too, and let me know of videos and stories that you have found inspiring, I would be interested to find out.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Isolation

09 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Personal Development

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anger, communication, emotions, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, family, feelings, goals, isolation, Love, Mental Health, Personal Development, Relationships, visualisation

Wasn’t sure where I wanted to write this blog, but I felt I needed to add it to this site, as when we are trying to conquer our goals, the one thing that can stop us is isolation. We can often feel like we aren’t part of society and alone.

When I feel isolated the one thing I do is get out of the house and go for a walk. The worst thing you can do is to stay in doors, home alone. Getting out is important, as isolation usually means you need a new environment, and space.

Feeling isolated can lead us to feeling depressed, so getting out will help stop the cobwebs, which is what I call depressive thoughts, from emerging.

Care, Feeling, Female, Couple, Give

If you do get invited out, unless there is trouble getting to somewhere, take up the invite and go.

Isolation means you need to be with people, and you probably find that they too have felt isolated and alone, all they needed just like you, a friend.

If someone does talk to you, give them acknowledgement, instead of trying to ignore them.

It is so easy at times to isolate yourself especially if you are a new mum for example, but this is where meeting other mums for example, can really help. Knowing you aren’t alone in feeling like you a walking meal on tap, as from my own experience, as much as I love my son I did feel often like a walking cow.

Getting out is important for isolation and a new environment can really do the trick.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Building Relationships

22 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Personal Development

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Body confidence, Body Image, Building Relationships, communication, Copying, Idolising, Learning from others, Mimicking celebrities, visualisation

me-and-elv-at-our-wedding

Being married for 10 years has had its ups and downs like most, and we certainly don’t spend every minute of the day together, I believe in personal space even being in a relationship, but I do also like our together times too.

We aren’t all over each other like a rash and we don’t always cuddle up at night. I like being left alone for some of the night, as I feel that this is my time to try and switch off and be in my own thoughts.

What we do have is understanding. We know we want to have that time together and when we want that space. You just sense it by the body language and the fact that my husband has his face berried in his tablet like myself at times.

Building relationships whether it be romantic or not, is part of the human being. Learning how to be around other people, respecting the other persons boundaries, even though you do get those who try and break them. You learn how to compromise and how to pick up tips from other people, which can inspire us.

We look at someone who we idolise on the TV as an example and we see the life they have to what we have, and we think “Wow I would love to experience that” so even though you haven’t met the person, you have already formed a relationship with that image of that person. You build up this admiration for them, you love their voice, what they have to say, their talent and sometimes you can feel as if they are a part of you. You want to know how they are like that and how can I be like that too?

Above is a photo of the extreme, those who go to lengths to look like someone else, but is this a good relationship.

I always think it is dangerous route to take. Idolising someone is different to copying someone completely, and that can be a bad relationship.

You can never be like someone else. You don’t know their thoughts unless you are a mind reader, only the person themselves know what is going on in their head, and your chasing something you’ll never be.

However you can also learn from this too. Look at how they walk, talk and stand, why they have so many people admiring them, and you can use their body language to help you too.

Language can really help when building relationships, as a lot of the time when a relationship breaks down, what usually comes up is the communication. The lack of it. When they talk to you it feels like an attack or a criticism. We can often feel that they don’t love us anymore because they are talking to us differently.

We can often put up a barrier in our communication, because of our tone of voice. We can sound like we are too busy with something else other than that person who loves us, but we don’t mean to, we get caught up in the everyday and we forget “Oh this person loves us”.

Or when we try to talk to our partners we can often feel they no longer want to talk to us, when if we waited for them to finish what they were doing, and be patient then that person will talk to us, once they are ready too.

We can be demanding “Why aren’t you talking to me” “Why are you not responding the way I want you too”. We often complain because we expect at times for our love ones to read our minds, but they are human too, and no man or woman is really a mind reader.

I am no relationship or marriage counsellor but I am a married woman, whose parents divorced when I was reaching the end of my teen years, and it was tough seeing the break up and being in it.

Once we take the pressure off from a relationship then both parties can feel relief. I know when I have piled too much pressure on mine and my husbands, because I have had too much of an unrealistic expectation. Like on days out and he hasn’t wanted to walk on further along the river, he can’t see what I had planned, he didn’t play out my head to see “Oh she wanted to go and walk along the River Thames to have a drink by Tower Bridge” no it was all in my head, but as soon as he didn’t want to walk that far, I felt hurt that I had spent all that time planning in my mind of the day. I felt he didn’t care because I had this ideal image of the day, that I never mentioned until he didn’t want to go there.

How was he supposed to know?

I kind of expected him to know. How?

If I had said from the beginning I would like to go and have a drink near tower bridge, I had planned it since planning this day, then I am sure he would have said “Okay” but I didn’t.

This again, was down to me not communicating correctly, which once I realised that I quickly learnt from. My job in customer service, one thing it teaches is how to form good relations with customers by using certain words and effective communication, but when it comes to using these lessons at home, there is often a communication break down.

So from looking outside of my relationship and from others I have witnessed, the important parts of building a relationship is quite simple.

Understanding, communicate effectively, pressure off and compromise when required.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • February 2018
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • April 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015

Categories

  • 2022 Programme Life coaching blogs
  • Autumn Reset
  • Books
  • Boundaries
  • career building
  • Celebrating
  • Cheat sheet
  • Creating a vision
  • Creating new traditions
  • e
  • EBooks
  • empowerment
  • Everyday living
    • new year
  • Financial Freedom
  • Financial Living
  • Freedom
  • friendship
  • Friendships and relationships
  • Goal setting
  • having bad days
  • how to deal with those that drag you down
  • Inspiration board
  • Inspirational TV
  • Inspiring stories
  • Joural
    • journal
  • Love
  • Medical help
  • Midweek chat video
  • monthly challenges to manage my work
  • Monthly Newsletter
  • New Beginnings
  • Online courses
  • People
  • Personal care
  • Personal Development
    • Dreams and ambitions
  • Planning 2023
  • Positive Habits
  • Printables
  • productivity
  • project 2021
  • Related pages
  • Related sites
  • Scammed
  • Summer Project
  • Summer project 2021
  • Team Building
  • Useful articles
  • Weekend Chat video
  • Weekly inspiring stories
  • Weekly posts
  • Wordpress blog about having a bestfriend
  • Work
  • Yearly Reset
  • Youtube videos

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Everyone can build a castle
    • Join 198 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Everyone can build a castle
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...