Hello and welcome! As you may know from my blogs on this site I have a lot of content about Life Coaching and even developed and put together a online course see link: Carries Education Network
To give you a taster off what to expect here is a video I uploaded talking about understanding the flight or fly mode:
This is for my programme “Project2021” and will adding more to this to help you to have a better year and a better life.
I hope this inspired you to grow your life into being better than ever before.
Many thanks for your follows and like on this blog it really means the world to me.
Hello! I have often been a stress head and I would frantically worry. It would be of the worse case scenario that I’d think about and then it would often be when I put my head on my pillow to go to sleep, and yet stay awake from Stressing and worrying.
I remember watching Big Brother once when someone of the housemates was asked do they worry and they said no cause it’s a waste of energy and I feel that is true. I would worry about not worrying and feel it is my mind and body warning me of danger, but it is also by the influence too.
So the 1st destresser I give is have a morning, afternoon and evening ritual. So I will always have a cup of my favourite tea, Earl Grey and a good breakfast, along with playing some music and I used to watch some Youtube or when doing the school run me Henry and I would dance. In the afternoon having time to walk and explore and evenings a good dinner and some chill out time listening to music, reading a book or low level screen time catching up on some weekly TV.
The second distresser is arrange events to go to yearly or monthly to have things to look forward a throughout the year even including a holiday. We all need to get away from normality for a bit so doing different things each year or month helps to break up the weeks and months and have a date set.
We can be so hooked on existing rather than living that we all get desperate to have space and purity included so third tip is light a scented candle and read a book along with a cup of tea or hot chocolate with some favourite biscuits and again practice meditation or mindfulness. We all deserve a treat so go for it and never look back or be regretful as it is your mind saying “Make a change to everyday life”.
To feel on top of the world we have to make the effort to look after ourselves and to give ourselves 5 minutes or so to be just with our thoughts and mediation or mindfulness can help in this respect. It is about learning about what you need and so take 5 just to gain perspective and nuture yourself. Chat with those who make you feel on top of the world and are on your side. Take out negativity and just be with yourself.
So the fourth tip is, find an exercise routine to do. There are loads on Youtube that I have created a playlist for the ones I have found and want to try out. If you are paying to have Sky TV and Broadband then get your moneys worth and workout at home along with walking, running or taking part in a sport.
The fifth tip is to Take yourself out of a situation when you meet difficult people. When working in Customer service you had to be think skinned and when I was getting upset over some phone calls I moved over to the Chat and email team and it was the best move I made. It can be so hard to take yourself away in that kind of work, yet it paid well and didn’t want to leave so when I saw there was a need for another email Customer Service agent I applied and glad that I did. If you find you aren’t getting any benefit out of a job and start to withdraw yourself it means you need to change for something better. One reason why a lot of people take time off from work is due to Stress and worry.
So be good to yourself and never fear you aren’t alone in this world and can move onto better things to destress and be happy.
Hello and welcome! Thank you for the follows and the likes of my blog it really means the world to me. In this post I am talking about The Power of the mind/Looking after your wellbeing.
All our minds are our own and taking charge of your mind is the key to unlocking the endphorines that come with The Power of the mind.
What do I mean?
Well, it is controlling the inner critic and having the positive critic heard more than the one that says “No work today lets sit around all day”, then you feel “I’ve wasted the day and now I feel like I have accomplished nothing”.
Does this sound familiar?
So listen to the inner critic and ask it “If I listen to you how will I feel if I don’t wash my car or take a shower that day?”
Am I gonna feel good, bored or frustrated by the fact the car is still dirty and I feel clammy?
When I was getting up and then going back to bed for an extra snooze I would wake up about 12 and then feel I had lost part of the day, yet now I wake up early and start writing blogs, creating books and other tasks I have, I now feel I have more energy to work on, and then everything else fits into the day too.
Our minds work like a train station, where we start at one platform and place and then once we have completed those tasks and routine of our morning move to the next platform and station. We run by blood, water and bone, and when we run out of steam we can delay our work and proscrinate. We can avoid tasks as we see them as a huge problem and a burden and feel pressure because if we don’t it delays the other tasks we want to do.
Take your time with tasks and block them in the day and the more challenging the task reward yourself so next time we do something we have to do but don’t like we have an incentive to complete it to then move to the next station and do the things we love again.
The more difficult the task the bigger the reward.
It helps to look after yourself and stop neglecting your wellness because we need to let people hop on so we can then move for the second party of the journey and reach the final destination.
I talk about goal setting a lot and when we give ourselves too much to do it can make us more pressured and ends up delaying part of our jobs to move onto the next stop.
When you give yourself just 5 things perlist it eases the pressure and furthers our wellbeing. We aren’t robots but humans and so we need to for our wellness by kinder to ourselves, check out this video where I share the ways in which I do will be doing that: How should we be kinder to ourselves. It is important we give ourselves slack, as we aren’t made to multi-task but me focussed on one thing at a time.
Our minds can get clogged up and so anything you can jot down to schedule do so and then go through the wants to the haves and then circle a few and the less to do’s the more goals we can set.
Look after yourself and give yourself some credit rather than piling on the amount of things to do and enjoy life more.
We aren’t put on this planet to work ourselves to the bone but with balance and stability we can do more by giving ourselves less.
Hello and welcome! So I have now a Life coaching course on my Education Network and here is a taster of the content that I have included, and your feedback would be very much welcomed.
Life is a pattern of many twist and turns, and often we can get lost in life and having a regular routine, that we often stay within our shell and only come out when we feel “Is it safe to do so?”.With the Lockdown many have been struggling but to help to follow a different pattern we have to change of lifestyle to have a much better one, even in Lockdown.
Do one thing at the weekend which is different to what you do during the week, and this can be a breakfast, time to do an exercise routine and just something that separates the week to the weekend.
Have a night off where if you are a mum and you can have someone take care off your children one evening that take them up on it.
Have that glass of wine, and sit out in the garden reflecting on each day and on the next day
Do a Zoom chat of someone you have not seen for a while or face time them and arrange a time and place to meet if you don’t live close by
Have time watching the sunset and end the day naturally like when waking up get yourself a SAD light that can help during Winter when it gets dark earlier and still get your Vitamin D
Don’t put it off tomorrow do it today and then tomorrow you have freedom to do something else that you want to do
Change your hairstyle. I am wanting to get my hair done and dye it again, and so gonna plan that in the summer when finally lockdown has shifted
Recycle and get rid of too much waste. I always look at items purchased and think “Can I use that for something else?” example I have Jaffa cake box that I ue to keep my desk tidy and for my supplements, a jar of coffee and my body spray and deodarant
Reduce the pennies. I was tempted to buy myself a notebook but I didn’t as I have plenty to use, and will use these up before I buy another
Use a favourite mug to make your brew or have a certain glass you like to drink from, it then make sure you dehydrate especially when it is a hot summers day
All these habits are positive and doable so even if you do one or two of them it still can make a difference to your lifestyle and have better days, months and years.
Please check out this video I did about Doubting our capabilities that can stops us from having the life you want. Those That do vs those that don’t
my video of doubting our capbalities.
I tend to do this a lot, and I don’t give myself credit and can be my own worse enemy and now I can say I am glad to be me, which has taken a long time and taken a lot of me to realise that.
I don’t hide away because of my lack of confidence, but use it to help give me a good mindset and to help other people wherever I can.
Being in a Mentalhealth hospital did help me a lot and so thankful for the NHS as I did need that time, and it was a learning curve for me .
You see that they are all their because of broken homes, feeling scared of reality and they not being fully heard.
This is something that I want to do to help people with their Personal Development if they are having a bad time at work, in many industries and how they can build their confidence, and those who have lost confidence.
If you don’t feel good about yourself then that can project onto other people, and so it is important you learn who you are and to love yourself.
Tip#1: Give yourself credit. Go through the days and how you like to spend your days
Tip#”: Now lockdown has cleared, it is time to socialise again with friends and family physically, so start arranging meet ups so you can have a good catch up and the same with seeing relatives you haven’t seen since Lockdown
It is good to restore relationships that are good and not take them for granted, as Lockdown can always come back and then it may be too late.
Tip#3: Make the most of your current situation, and use the tools you have to embrace life and be thankful for what you currently have. For me I am grateful I have legs and feet to enjoy walking and getting regular exercise, I am grateful for my son and my mum, and all my family I have.
Tip#4: Give yourself a break. Stop criticising yourself and always be looking to learn about yourself and go through what you have accomplished so far, and that you want to accomplish in the future.
Tip#5: Always have a plan of where you would like things to go and how you can continue to build success and happiness into your life.
So what tips do you have. Please do give me feedback and thank you so much for the likes and follows I have received. I am very grateful.
Even it reaches to one person, I know people are being helped via my blogs.
Hello and I am writing this on Sunday, but I don’t post any live blogs on this day so will be up live tomorrow.
So Concentrating on Good Things In life that can empower you through the year.
Find what makes you tick, and look for inspiring videos that can give you empowerment. When I used to go running and I had that “I have no energy to do a run” I found some running motivation videos on Youtube and listening to one of those made me go out and run, before I changed my mind again.
We often at times look at our lives and our rooms, and homes thinking “My world cluttered, I feel overwhelmed and feel like I am never gonna be tidy or stress free”, but yes you can.
I wrote a book on amazon.com about making one change a day:
Doing one thing a day can make a huge difference and what empowers me everyday is listening to music, just one or two songs, and that helps kick start my day.
Plan a day just for you, as we all deserve a day where we can be lazy or some people I know love Sundays For example to have a day in bed. I did this some weekends and it is just to relax not have to rush anywhere, no errands or to dos and just a day of Peace and Quiet.
Spend time documenting days where you see family and friends, or now we are soon I hope to be out of Lockdown that you can see family again and why not film to development more happy Memories and why not plan a Post Lockdown Family reunion.
Watch videos or documentaries that inspire you and make you get the most of each day. I sometimes if I have a Takeaway will watch a comedy series i haven’t watched for a while and I try to do different things at the weekend, and it is good to have a Takeaway Friday or Pizza Tuesday or Saturday. I even like today as i wrote this love having a Curry Sunday rather than roast.
I also have days where I don’t wear make up and days when I do, and have created a photobook to help me remind of looks I have done and it really has helped with my confidents and feel good about myself.
Have breakfasts at the weekend or during Holiday days that you wouldn’t have in a normal week. I love a cooked breakfast sometimes and i will eat a lot more fruit, and I have a separate Travel Journal that I keep especislly for holidays. I love documenting good days aswell some challenging days.
Jusr get as much out of each day as possible and make time for from the norm and use what inspires you to have a better, happy and fulfilling life.
So I wrote a post like this some time ago and said how I had a good foundation of people in my life, and that it is good to have that around you. I do still feel the same but the people who are now my foundation are different people and having a horrendous seven years, I have come to realise that those original people didn’t have my back and were very much against me.
I am someone who believes in Love that is out of this world and I have that now being in a new relationship which some may mock but I don’t care.
I was not on this planet to please everyone and to be like someone else. I am me and I am at a place now in my life where I feel contentment and very much sure of myself and it is changing those in your life that can bring a bad smell in your life alone and be with good hearted people who will always have your back no matter what.
I have created more Life Coaching video content on my Youtube channel and put together a playlist so here is a link for you to check these out:
It can be hard work when someone just wants to go against everything you say or do, but I am a fighter and have found a strength within me that I never knew was there and has helped me to battle my way forward and create a lot of things that only some can dream of.
Now when I say that I feel I have to justify those feelings, and concious of not wanting to show off but isn’t it my right to compliment myself? That’s been part of what has been drumed in me to not wanting to praise myself, but I am not going to stop being kind to myself as I can be my worst critic at times too. Recognising your strengths and self awareness is a big step forward and makes you see,
“Oh I am not that bad as I think I am and I have finally found the qualities within me that will drive me to success and forget those who want to attack and I am not going to stop believing in myself when once it was seemed wrong and will be my own Life Coach and as Cyndi Lauper sang “Be as Strong as I can””.
I am not doing this because I feel that I have not had a bad life because I have had a good one. I never was left hungry or without clothes, but now at the age of 42 have seen that there will always be those who remain your friends and family, but there are those that won’t and you just need to let go and push forward and live not exist, and create a foundation that is filled with love, faith and empowerment, that will catch you if you fall sometimes and be there to celebrate your success too.
So stay safe, stay strong and never let anyone get you down.
IN THIS BLOG I AM TALKING ABOUT DEALING WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND JEALOUSY WHICH I TALK ABOUT IN THE VIDEO LINKED ABOVE AND IS ONE THAT IS NEGATIVE AND HAS A MASSIVE IMPACT TO YOUR HAPPINESS AND WELLBEING.
People say that Jealousy is healthy and keeps like your spouse on their toes, but being someone who has been targetted by those that have been jealous I disagree. In fact being someone who was once a Jealous person it is not a nice feeling at all, and its like what Mel Robbins says, your basically saying “There isn’t enough of what that person has to go around, and your not worthy of doing that too”.
I was targetted quite badly for someone who felt that way and it was as if I had no rights of a life of many amazing things because they felt they wouldn’t and so why should I. I am going to be blunt here: THAT AIN’T MY FAULT.
I stopped my jealousy by asking myself questions, like: So do I want that person to fail or not have a life? How would I feel if they did that to me? and it has made me address, face and handle.
To get rid of negative feelings including resentment which comes with jealousily and hatred because someone is doing better than you, but you don’t want to feel that way either, Address those feelings by asking questions like above, Face them because if you try to ignore them the stronger those feelinngs can grow within you and handle, so deal with them so they go away from your thoughts and fears.
Now if there is a person who knows you are feeling that way and play on those feelings so a boyfriend purposely kisses someone else in front of you, knowing that you are going to be upset then that is different, and they are doing it to be spiteful and this is where you can say “What was that about and why?” and then walk away unless they follow.
There are people who will play with your insecurities, but this doesn’t make them super confident it means they are insecure more than you, as they think to help them stop feeling like they don’t like themselves aim it at you to make themselves feel superior to you.
Those feelings can have a tendency to rub off on you, and before you know it your doing it.
Fear is often a course of negative feelings, because we fear that if they do well means that it may mean we never will, but anyone can be successful but creating their own work, so not copying and using your own talents and interests for you to have a happy life aswell. Check out video: Finding your Talent.
Example McDonalds and Burger King. So McDonalds was formed in America in the 70’s and was the it fast food restaurtant to go to, and it took over our English version Wimpy, and the guy from McDonalds who was the creator knew that if he could come over to England and open up here aswell as America then it has a good chance to reach other countries.
Then someone who worked at McDonalds wanted to make their own version and build a fastfood Franchise but got jealous of McDonalds rein and even threatened to close McDonalds down as they were told where ever you build your fastfood restaurant we will be there too so you will never be as big.
Yet the top two fastfood outlets in the 90’s were McDonald and Burger King. They were at logger heads all the time, but they both succeeded and both had restaurants all over the world. So there is always enough to go around and still stand out against others who do the same as you, but if you put your own stamp on what you do then you can be as successful.
The other negative feeling is not feeling like you are part of anything. I felt like this for ages and it did get to me. I remember being invited to someone’s anniversary party when I worked in a holiday camp and feeling like would stand out like sore thumb and not really be wanted there, and was only being invited because who I was romantically with.
If you feel like this then ask yourself. Do I have friends that will be there in a shot if they knew I was feeling like this? Do you get on with these people? What I do when I feel this way is say, “Okay it may be that no if I weren’t with a certain person perhaps I wouldn’t be invited but can I change their mind by being happy for an invite and show them that I am worthy of their company?” Yes I can and I did.
There are those who can make you feel inadequate but if I am going to an unfamiliar ground but feel I have to go to someone’s party because at the same time not want to let that person down, is tell yourself like I have “You don’t have to stay and there is always a door you can walk out of”.
I have suffered with social anxiety because I have been with people in a romantic way and have been cheated on and that can hit you like a knife but because I knew the relationship was over did like above, Addressed, Faced and Handled and then I was like “Okay that is fine, I did fight for it but now know it is time to walk away” and you can tell yourself that as human nature intended to listen to your gut instinct if it is good or bad to stay or go, it will let you know.
Another negative feeling is towards yourself. Not able to look in the mirro and I get this alot and hve been like it since I was a kid. Sometimes the image of myself in my head was different to what I saw in the mirror and so have a notepad and write down the things you do like about yourself.
We can be harder to ourselves than to other people and we all have a uniqueness and qualities and so go through it and if you say “There’s nothing that I like” then ask a friend to do this for you and have them read it out to you. You’ll be surprised as to what they see that you don’t about yourself.
Feeling ugly is hard hitting and so have a day where you pamper yourself, or do something that makes you feel good. I find having a skincare routine can help and I have done a video talking about what I keep in make up bag and current skincare products I use.
Try and do something differet each day. So two night ago I decided to introduce a new item into my routine and that is choose a song a day and put it on Twitter and it will be a song that has been part of my life and I did this as it gives me a lift and reaches to those too who need that.
I also in one of my journals write a wish a day or a few and it is helping me feel better as this week I have been a bit run down and so it is good to find these little things that stops my negative thoughts and feelings and make each day count.
So I hope that this blog has helped you and see you in another one.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blogs and videos will be uploaded to my site:
![Things to Change one day at a time : Life doesn’t have to be fast pace but easy, simple and flexible by [Carrie Lee Holmes ]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41Zg2gwv-nL._SY346_.jpg)
Everyone can build a castle 