I have set out my goals that I have mentioned in previous posts written recently, that I have separated my goals in three categories:
Home
Work
Play
I would like to do a video on this, but going to do this in the new year, as I have so many things I would love to develop too.
So set your goals and don’t hold back, be ruthless and aim high.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: Check out my JustGiving page that I have set up to donate money to Tommy’s who support families who have experience Stillbirths and Premature births:
This post is in relation to one I have posted before, and wanted to touch on this subject again, because still there are people who want to do harm to people, and as far as I am concerned has no place in society when they do so.
Bullies and those that carry out abuse to another human, do posses a certain criteria.
They will blame other people for the abuse they carry out and bullying, whilst carrying on abusing and bullying
often they will diguise themselves as nice people at first to cover up what they will do, once they have won a person over. This overshadows often those who are genuinely nice
They will exclude and put people in a corner so that person has no where to go
A hug or sexual contact is not genuine and false, and is manipulation, and you can tell when they begin to get aggressive or slowly show their violent trait, that they are going to get worse,
If you spot any of these signs,
“Call Out and Get Out”
This Image is for my Abuse and Bullying Campaign
They are just examples above and as far as I am concern they are Cretins.
You may see yourself as a constant target, because you are a good person and they are jealous of everything you do.
Ignore and fight back, but there is a song by, Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I remember reading a guys article disputing this line, but it is true because you can come out of the other side, you often spot the signs quicker and find that you do have inner strength, that you never thought you had.
As soon as someone takes jab at me, I will strike a bigger blow and you can do it too, and I do think that they should teach self defence in schools, to help and teach children to be street wise, and be able to fight back.
Can you still run a business when you know there are people against you ?
Absafuckinglutley, and in fact you should in all busnesses you run, if you have staff that work for you, you should have an Anti bullying or abuse policy, so if it carries on, you can deal with it and stop it.
Noone has the right to prevent someone in doing their job or run a business, and those Cretins should be moved on and given an instant Criminal Record, if not banged up in Prison, as soon as it has been proven that they are guilty and for their own safety as they can be their own worse enemy, as there are those that will fight harder and put those in my experience, not saying I have done this, but I know it can happen, in hospital, which really noone wants.
My dad as a kid was fed up of seeing me getting bullied and got me in the Living room and said right, and he gave me some gloves that were mini boxing gloves and showed me how to throw a punch, and it did protect me in the end, and no I don’t condone violence, but you can’t always walk away and I know I have said this a lot in my blogs, but want to keep saying this, because it is true.
So kick out and get those Cretins away from us, and keep fighting, being determined and you will still succeed, where they won’t because they get too caught up in hating people, who can build success and they can’t.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: If you would like to see what else I like to write about then please, see my video below:
To build dreams and visions always set yourself, if not a whole to do list or goals list, do “A task a day”. I have had to learn this myself as I do many times given myself so much to do, that no wonder I end up feeling bogged down and like “I can’t do all this”.
We aren’t put on this planet to do so much we are only one person and so we need to be kinder to ourselves and allow ourselves breathing space too.
Life isn’t doing 20 things at once but doing what you can that makes you feel fulfilled and happy to be doing them, not because you have to.
Being a writer of many things, music, books and blogs that I can get so caught up in it sometimes and become blown out.
So now I focus on three things.
Home
Work
Play
I then will,
Prioritize
Be SMART (specific Measure Aim Rest Time)
Break it down
Be ruthless with some decisions
Aim high but not do too much at one time
A vision is a dream, and as you go through the tasks or task you plan to do, make sure they have a true purpose. Do you need to vacuum everyday? Do you really need to sort through your wardrobe all the time?
No one is going to be famous for vacuuming or cleaning but for what they truly got out of life.
People like to know how they accomplished in winning a Gold Medal not how many times he would do his laundry or for sorting out his running gear all the time.
We spend so much time on existing but not living and to get the most of your days, is have a purpose not a chore.
If you see things as chores all the time, the less you are in achieving all of them, but if you set a purpose example, I will dust my home as it helps clear my mind, it will help you do this so you can feel less messy in your head.
I love having dreams and as far as I am concerned they are healthy, because they help me to carry on and push forward.
Yes that inner critic will often speak to and hold me back, but I tell it off now, and my positive voice will step in and that is the one I listen to.
If I find something daunting I find a way to make it easier for myself without going over and over it in my head about 15 times.
So set your dreams and your goals and don’t do everything at once but live your life that makes you get out of bed each day and be happy that is what we all want in the end.
A new year for me is a new beginning and want this time round to be a fresh start, as this year 2020, has been the hardest one I have had to face since being alive and I want it to have a happy ending and be ready for another new year ahead.
If you have seen my last two posts about setting myself new goals and establishing them, you will see that I have cut them down this year, and if you have followed me for a while on this site, I like to make Life changes rather than resolutions.
So during the Easter holidays my laptop cut out and so I am using my husbands and I knew I was going to have a problem and I did. I was getting frustrated with a Youtube video Youtube video I had edited crashing using Clipchamp and its causes me so much trouble and so I…
For the last 5 years I have really had to battle with my mental health and deal with people who haven’t been nice to me at all, and I have discovered who my real friends are and who my real family are.
This year I am not going to do a whole list of things, as it isn’t about quantity its about quality and what I truly want to achieve and add into my life.
I have already planned my books I am going to concentrate and write for next year to be published and I hope to expand my blog sites even more and focus sometime building up my Youtube channel again.
I have battled a lot again with my self confidence as it did get knocked quite a lot this year, but will do more exercises and journalling to help rebuild it.
For me it has always been a working progress. I need to give myself more credit and not feel like I have to answer for myself when I do.
I have met a new man in my life who loves me out of this world, and I can’t wait to start a new life with him.
I have had to build a new foundation for myself, but feel that good things will come my way, I just need to keep going, have time for myself too, but not allow anyone to dictate my life.
I like having people look out for me and take me under their wing, but not too the point where I need to ask permission to go to the toilet and it be wrong.
So I am going to keep going and add more blogs leading up to Christmas and another new year, and pray that this time round it is a brilliant start to my life and end of another chapter.
If you need help with setting goals then please check out my free printable sheet to help build your goals.
Following on from that post I want to help you Establish your goals to end 2020, to get ready for 2021.
What do I mean?
Well, first off,
Go through and tick off each one that you have accomplished
Then what you still would like to achieve that is in your goals list
Have any of them changed?
What can I still complete by the end of this year?
Goals are like a guide to building yourself as a person, as a mother, a business owner and at home, like wanting a bigger house, or you want to give your home a make over.
With goals it can be anything that will start and end in a positive outcome, to lifting yourself up even more.
As in my previous post, goals can be as bizarre as you want, and keep tabs on the changes of path you take. That is common when you set goals, they are forever growing and evolving.
Life is full of many things and no matter where you are, there are always those who dream big and get it. Never allow this thought to make you jealous. I have come to realise that Jealousy is not a good trait to have, as it makes you hateful and resentful, and I never want to be these two things.
Goals should be able to grow with people who want to the same as you too, and be a shoulder to cry on and a support system, that you know if you fall they are there to lift you up again and in return they do the same.
So establish and go through your goals and never allow anyone to knock you down and stop you.
It’s your life and you owe it to yourself to have the life you have always dreamed of, and there is no excuse to stop, as when you are there, it feels like you are on top of the world and continue to grow even more.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: I am raising money for the Charity called Tommy’s, who support families who have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births. If you would like to donate then please click on the link below:
So this time of year I start to think about what goals I would like to achieve for the next coming year. Doing this on a regular basis really helps you to take check of where you are at, and how far you have come and what you still have or would like to do next.
Life is a journey, and some may not like that word, but it is true. Even though this year was a sticky beginning, I still set myself goals and changed them through the part of this year.
There will be people who will knock you down, but if they do, let it be a trigger to keep you going. Noone has the right to tell you how you should live your life, unless you are hurting people, and to trash all over it.
I am going to make less goals this year, because I have realised that it is not about doing everything under the sun, but what truly matters to you, and what you really want to get out of the next chapter of your life.
So never stop dreaming or believing and set the goals.
Instead of the normal ones I make this year, I am going to make it simpler by having three categories, Home, Work and Play.
Home is anything you would like to change about your current living situation, Work is what you would like to achieve in your career or your work status, if you like me work for yourself and Play, is for example, getting fitter, try a new activity, do a course or spend more time with friends, and they can be as bizarre as you would like them to be.
Goals are there to build you up and what will make you truly happy, that will give you a reason to get out of bed for.
Here is a printable sheet to help you set your goals for 2021.
So this year has been a rollercoaster and that is no exaggeration, it is sadly true, and I have opened to the fact that there are those who were born to be evil, and having nothing nice to say about anyone, apart from themselves.
I am gonna give you some tips if you too have experience a uncomfortable atmosphere and how to cope with it. Many say walk away, but that isn’t always an option, but these are;
Don’t entertain them. If they try to make you feel intimidated or they are threatening you, then don’t entertain them. Let them get on with it, and if they get in your face, then react by saying “I know what you are doing I am not scared so go away”.
Focus on those who do love you. It can be like being in a horrible bubble you can’t get out of, and so if there are others who do show you love and consideration then focus on them, as they are the sort of people that have always got your back.
Try and see if you can speak to someone outside of your bubble. Having home help, real kind, as there are some fake ones out there, can really make a difference, as often it can be difficult to know who you can turn too, and if you are a small child or a teenager reading this, speak to Childline who can help or have a chat with your GP to see if they can refer you to someone like a therapist or counsellor.
Let them see that you don’t really have a problem with them, it is often one rule for one and another rule for everybody else, and by showing them that as much as they dislike you or have a problem with you, you don’t really have one with them, which can often be the case.
Fight back, by showing them that no matter how much they try to demolish you, your going to carry on regardless. Many people who are not nice, don’t like to see anyone be happy and successful, but never allow it to stop you. Its your life, your rules not theirs.
Don’t react like they expect you too. Being someone who was bullied from an early age, learned how to react to the opposite to how people like them would expect, and not being angry back is one of them, and keeping a steady voice can help and that you aren’t going to hit them, like a lot of not nice people do, unless they go to far then a clout never hurt anyone to those who are just plain evil.
Take yourself away for a bit. I don’t mean move away completely as that is not always an option, but for a few hours or so, so you can spend time with those who do love you and where it is not uncomfortable, as a bad atmosphere can be like a massive weight on your shoulders.
We often can’t choose who we want to be with all of the the time, but you can as these tips above show still be happy without them, and live a happy life still.
I hope this blog does help and just a quick note, I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s this year as we draw near to Christmas, and so if you wish to donate, here is the link below:
In the year 1999 my world appeared to crumble in front of me as it was the first Christmas that not all the family were their celebrate, as my mum and dad had split up for good this time, and was getting divorced, my brother and I fights got worse that we both would hit out at one another as soon as we saw each other and not long after that Christmas my nan died, (my mums mum).
I knew it was going to be different when earlier in the year of 1999 my mum told me whilst driving to North End road, but I was some what prepared because I saw it was going to happen a long time before then, and said “Yes I know, I had a feeling that was coming”, but I did end up spending a lot of time out, not wanting to face the music of it.
The reality of it was stronger than the thought of it, and I didn’t want to be involved, but I was, because as soon as it happened my dad would be very angry saying some very nasty things to me, about my mum, like I hope she dies of cancer and if I see her again, I’ll stab her and my mum then would say, Your dad cheated on me, she moved us to North Sheen, near Richmond, because my dad kicking off because of the nose of our neighbours living in our block and it was just being between a tug of war.
I am rewriting my book called, The Peabody Years, as it was quite small compared to what I wanted it to be and there is more I would like to add, but in the year of 1999 we had been living in our first houses in North Sheen since the year of 1996.
That year in 1999 was the first time I had ever dreaded Christmas and wanted it to go away. I had gone into a depression that I can not describe, and found it hard to even get out of bed.
I had changed jobs and was not happy at all. I hated where I was working and resigned as we got closer to the festive season. The spark I had for the Christmas had gone and I thought it would never return, and I was getting drunk a lot before then, and finally I came out of it after the new year, after reading a book by Paul McKenna, called, “I can make you confident in 7 days” and it was what I needed and yes it helped me immensely.
I was so used before this happened in 1999 used to traditional Christmases, where we would go to my nans house in Finborough Road Estate in Earls Court, and my grandad when he was alive, would cut the turkey, we’d open our gifts before dinner as my I or one of my cousins would help him hand out the gifts under my nans tree, and then after dinner my grandparents, my parents and my Aunty and Uncle would play a card game.
So when Christmas of 1999 approached I knew that those days were surely over and it hit my like a knife, that Christmases a I knew them would never happen again.
It did take a long time to get my spark for Christmas to come back, as I for a long while became a humbug, and saw it like any other day.
I hated the way I felt, and I had also begun to starve myself. Yes I had an eating disorder and it was when I passed out at my nans, I knew I had to turn my life around, as I was frightened of how much weight I lost. I lost strength in my arms, I had no energy to do anything and was constantly feeling guilty about everything I ate.
To not make this blog not too long, I did end up finding my spark again when I went to Florida one year and after my son was born.
I decided to also help bring back my spark for Christmas I needed to create a new set of Christmas traditions and that is I always like to do a Christmas run or long walk each year, and on boxing day too. Another one, is I like to decorate for the Christmas cheer whilst playing Christmas songs, and go to a Christmas market, and borough market in London, and have a cup of Mulled Wine or Winter cider.
My sons first Christmas being a mum was different too, as Henry was born unexpectantly premature and again I didn’t think much about it, but from his next Christmas I wanted it to be magical for him, like it was when I was a kid, and want to continue to do so, for when I have more children.
If you have had a familiar experience around Christmas time I would love to hear your story. You can leave a comment below.
Also if you are new to my blogs then you may not know that I like to raise money this time of year, for one of my charities I like to support, and this year I am raising money for a Charity called Tommy’s who raise money to support families whom have had stillbirths and premature births. My Just Giving page is link below if you would like to make a donation:
So if you didn’t read my previous post then you wouldn’t know that I didn’t have a good day yesterday, and was very fed up, and I never want to hide behind it, making out my life is full of red roses and making out I am on top of the world.
Today started of brilliantly but then was stitched up trying to buy items in Marks and Spencers.
If you have a bad day then there are some positive things that can help you through it, so here are ten ways to live a more positive life:
Practice and act of kindness, so I am fundraising this year like I do every year to raise money towards good causes, and you can too. My chosen charity this year is Tommy’s who raise money to carry research on Still births and premature births. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths This can be anything to even buying the Big Issue as they are sold to those who are homeless and trying to turn their lives around to living on the streets in England.
Write, even if it is a song, just get a notepad and begin. I write everyday as it relaxes me and I get lost in it to the point I don’t worry about anything else around me, especially when I do my other love, playing music whilst I work. This has become my kind of meditation and stick with it if it helps you.
Cook a favourite meal that relaxes you and gives you comfort. I believed like many from diet experts, that you shouldn’t comfort eat, but I disagree, as it is always so nice to have a meal that is like a great big hug on a plate or in a bowl.
Walk the cobwebs away. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, stressed or bogged down this always helps and getting well earned fresh air is the best medicine for me, and I did just that today, after the fiasco I had in M&S.
Look after your skin. This time of year I often get chapped skin on my hands and to the point they can be very sore, but because I have been using many creams and oils, it has stopped this, and I do feel better about myself that I don’t need to worry about this now.
Read a book a day. I love reading, but I do take a break from this, because when I do read I can read books one after the other and need that break to read more books and again helps me escape reality for a bit.
Set a week of goals to achieve and for each day, even if it is to have an extra hours of sleep, it is still a goal and sometimes you do need extra time to rest and recuperate.
Volunteer. I suppose this could be the same as number one, but I wanted to include this specifically as it can be so rewarding even if it is working in a Charity shop for a few hours. I helped out in a Football Festival and was marking down the scores of each match and I loved it. Now I know we are in lockdown again, but some shops do still appear to be open, so slightly confused, but you can even set up a Youtube channel to do a act of kindness by reading a story and like the guy who has an Instagram account called the Body Coach did, to help people to get fit.
Develop a project that you have always wanted to do, and it can be to set up a website or an online course, just anything that has a purpose to you and to others.
Have a penfriend. I had 3 to 4 penfriends at one time. One was a woman whom I met when visiting my Uncle Tony who was in a disabled home, and she loved Bon Jovi and knew of the songs like me too, and I loved her as soon as I met her, as she was so full of life and was so happy, that it opened my eyes that no matter what your problem may be you can still be happy and nothing should stop you. I sent her some Bon Jovi posters because she had trouble getting to them as they were downstairs in her local store, and it had no lift or anything so I bought some to send to her. I had another whom I met whilst on holiday in Devon, and a couple of girls who went to Grey Coats my secondary school and left to go abroad and another who I got in contact with through a rock magazine called Kerrang.
Being happy is hard to come by when for so long you haven’t felt good about yourself like I have, but making positive changes to your life, can make all the difference.
So Stay safe and strong, and remember never allow anyone stop you from having a more happier and positive life.
You maybe thinking why write this post when I was in my other blogs say “You go and set goals and be successful, fuck those who are arseholes”, but I like to be honest and this year I do feel like I have been on the worst rollercoaster I have ever been on. Not being dramatic and being an actress who didn’t get the part of being Cinderella and given the part of an ugly sister, putting up with those who are like “Talking bullshit is better than the truth, stop doing that, its wrong, I like lying” yet they often the ones who keep saying “I like being a C.U.N.T because I’m just being honest” and start shouting it about, and then when you see them or speak to them they start kissing your arse. I don’t, I may mention that what I write is me being honest, but I hope that I don’t need to say it and shout it, as people can automatically tell I am writing the truth and from my heart. It’s in the words, of expressing how I feel.
I know my mum might read this and say “That is a nasty blog take it down at once” Sorry mum but like you I’m only being caring and honest, like you always say you are.
Yeah it isn’t going to stop me from having a life, I am just fed up that there are those who make you think “To the Hell With it” I’ll have a take away rather than have the leftovers in my fridge, I’ll stay in bed all day, I shouldn’t have gotten out of the bed and wish I could hide away and that there would be such a thing of an invisibility cloak, to stop phone calls that I don’t want.
To the hell with it, I’ll stink all day as soon as you want to use the shower someone else in your home wants to use it, which is fine, but they see you getting your stuff ready and run in there, like the superhero flash. Yet I don’t mind waiting after him as you know he won’t be long, and when I use the shower I get accused of using up the hot water.
It’s days like today where I wouldn’t mind being a superhero with powers that would keep cretins away and have a credit card that noone can use to spend some dosh on my account. To those who do that, I want to say “Did you enjoy buying that crap on my account, was it worth it?” And then move the amount back to them, with a note says “Thanks for the debt but here’s my gift from me the debt you have tried to give to me”.
Life is full of ups and downs, but when you get more downs then up you feel like saying “To the Hell with it” I’m gonna give up.
My aim like so many, is to be happy and its my writing through blogs and books, that do keep me going along with being in love and listening to music.
I have come to discover that a lot of people aren’t want they seem, pretending to like you, but not and I am sick of that.
“To the Hell with it” I’ll be as nasty but because I do have a huge conscious, and know that there are genuine nice people it stops me. If they keep on I will take the piss out of them, but I am the sort of person, that when I like someone it is true, as I express it, but if it is someone I genuinely don’t like I won’t give them the time of day.
Part of being successful is to go through the wars aswell as the times when it feels like I have been given a bunch of roses, but when someone wants to destroy you through jealousy it just makes you say “To the Hell with it” have your glory I don’t care.
So yes, today has been one of those days, and I hope tomorrow will be a lot better, and hope I can have my dinner without any hassle and have a good evening.
Everyone can build a castle 