Following on from that post I want to help you Establish your goals to end 2020, to get ready for 2021.
What do I mean?
Well, first off,
Go through and tick off each one that you have accomplished
Then what you still would like to achieve that is in your goals list
Have any of them changed?
What can I still complete by the end of this year?
Goals are like a guide to building yourself as a person, as a mother, a business owner and at home, like wanting a bigger house, or you want to give your home a make over.
With goals it can be anything that will start and end in a positive outcome, to lifting yourself up even more.
As in my previous post, goals can be as bizarre as you want, and keep tabs on the changes of path you take. That is common when you set goals, they are forever growing and evolving.
Life is full of many things and no matter where you are, there are always those who dream big and get it. Never allow this thought to make you jealous. I have come to realise that Jealousy is not a good trait to have, as it makes you hateful and resentful, and I never want to be these two things.
Goals should be able to grow with people who want to the same as you too, and be a shoulder to cry on and a support system, that you know if you fall they are there to lift you up again and in return they do the same.
So establish and go through your goals and never allow anyone to knock you down and stop you.
It’s your life and you owe it to yourself to have the life you have always dreamed of, and there is no excuse to stop, as when you are there, it feels like you are on top of the world and continue to grow even more.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: I am raising money for the Charity called Tommy’s, who support families who have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births. If you would like to donate then please click on the link below:
So this time of year I start to think about what goals I would like to achieve for the next coming year. Doing this on a regular basis really helps you to take check of where you are at, and how far you have come and what you still have or would like to do next.
Life is a journey, and some may not like that word, but it is true. Even though this year was a sticky beginning, I still set myself goals and changed them through the part of this year.
There will be people who will knock you down, but if they do, let it be a trigger to keep you going. Noone has the right to tell you how you should live your life, unless you are hurting people, and to trash all over it.
I am going to make less goals this year, because I have realised that it is not about doing everything under the sun, but what truly matters to you, and what you really want to get out of the next chapter of your life.
So never stop dreaming or believing and set the goals.
Instead of the normal ones I make this year, I am going to make it simpler by having three categories, Home, Work and Play.
Home is anything you would like to change about your current living situation, Work is what you would like to achieve in your career or your work status, if you like me work for yourself and Play, is for example, getting fitter, try a new activity, do a course or spend more time with friends, and they can be as bizarre as you would like them to be.
Goals are there to build you up and what will make you truly happy, that will give you a reason to get out of bed for.
Here is a printable sheet to help you set your goals for 2021.
So this year has been a rollercoaster and that is no exaggeration, it is sadly true, and I have opened to the fact that there are those who were born to be evil, and having nothing nice to say about anyone, apart from themselves.
I am gonna give you some tips if you too have experience a uncomfortable atmosphere and how to cope with it. Many say walk away, but that isn’t always an option, but these are;
Don’t entertain them. If they try to make you feel intimidated or they are threatening you, then don’t entertain them. Let them get on with it, and if they get in your face, then react by saying “I know what you are doing I am not scared so go away”.
Focus on those who do love you. It can be like being in a horrible bubble you can’t get out of, and so if there are others who do show you love and consideration then focus on them, as they are the sort of people that have always got your back.
Try and see if you can speak to someone outside of your bubble. Having home help, real kind, as there are some fake ones out there, can really make a difference, as often it can be difficult to know who you can turn too, and if you are a small child or a teenager reading this, speak to Childline who can help or have a chat with your GP to see if they can refer you to someone like a therapist or counsellor.
Let them see that you don’t really have a problem with them, it is often one rule for one and another rule for everybody else, and by showing them that as much as they dislike you or have a problem with you, you don’t really have one with them, which can often be the case.
Fight back, by showing them that no matter how much they try to demolish you, your going to carry on regardless. Many people who are not nice, don’t like to see anyone be happy and successful, but never allow it to stop you. Its your life, your rules not theirs.
Don’t react like they expect you too. Being someone who was bullied from an early age, learned how to react to the opposite to how people like them would expect, and not being angry back is one of them, and keeping a steady voice can help and that you aren’t going to hit them, like a lot of not nice people do, unless they go to far then a clout never hurt anyone to those who are just plain evil.
Take yourself away for a bit. I don’t mean move away completely as that is not always an option, but for a few hours or so, so you can spend time with those who do love you and where it is not uncomfortable, as a bad atmosphere can be like a massive weight on your shoulders.
We often can’t choose who we want to be with all of the the time, but you can as these tips above show still be happy without them, and live a happy life still.
I hope this blog does help and just a quick note, I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s this year as we draw near to Christmas, and so if you wish to donate, here is the link below:
In the year 1999 my world appeared to crumble in front of me as it was the first Christmas that not all the family were their celebrate, as my mum and dad had split up for good this time, and was getting divorced, my brother and I fights got worse that we both would hit out at one another as soon as we saw each other and not long after that Christmas my nan died, (my mums mum).
I knew it was going to be different when earlier in the year of 1999 my mum told me whilst driving to North End road, but I was some what prepared because I saw it was going to happen a long time before then, and said “Yes I know, I had a feeling that was coming”, but I did end up spending a lot of time out, not wanting to face the music of it.
The reality of it was stronger than the thought of it, and I didn’t want to be involved, but I was, because as soon as it happened my dad would be very angry saying some very nasty things to me, about my mum, like I hope she dies of cancer and if I see her again, I’ll stab her and my mum then would say, Your dad cheated on me, she moved us to North Sheen, near Richmond, because my dad kicking off because of the nose of our neighbours living in our block and it was just being between a tug of war.
I am rewriting my book called, The Peabody Years, as it was quite small compared to what I wanted it to be and there is more I would like to add, but in the year of 1999 we had been living in our first houses in North Sheen since the year of 1996.
That year in 1999 was the first time I had ever dreaded Christmas and wanted it to go away. I had gone into a depression that I can not describe, and found it hard to even get out of bed.
I had changed jobs and was not happy at all. I hated where I was working and resigned as we got closer to the festive season. The spark I had for the Christmas had gone and I thought it would never return, and I was getting drunk a lot before then, and finally I came out of it after the new year, after reading a book by Paul McKenna, called, “I can make you confident in 7 days” and it was what I needed and yes it helped me immensely.
I was so used before this happened in 1999 used to traditional Christmases, where we would go to my nans house in Finborough Road Estate in Earls Court, and my grandad when he was alive, would cut the turkey, we’d open our gifts before dinner as my I or one of my cousins would help him hand out the gifts under my nans tree, and then after dinner my grandparents, my parents and my Aunty and Uncle would play a card game.
So when Christmas of 1999 approached I knew that those days were surely over and it hit my like a knife, that Christmases a I knew them would never happen again.
It did take a long time to get my spark for Christmas to come back, as I for a long while became a humbug, and saw it like any other day.
I hated the way I felt, and I had also begun to starve myself. Yes I had an eating disorder and it was when I passed out at my nans, I knew I had to turn my life around, as I was frightened of how much weight I lost. I lost strength in my arms, I had no energy to do anything and was constantly feeling guilty about everything I ate.
To not make this blog not too long, I did end up finding my spark again when I went to Florida one year and after my son was born.
I decided to also help bring back my spark for Christmas I needed to create a new set of Christmas traditions and that is I always like to do a Christmas run or long walk each year, and on boxing day too. Another one, is I like to decorate for the Christmas cheer whilst playing Christmas songs, and go to a Christmas market, and borough market in London, and have a cup of Mulled Wine or Winter cider.
My sons first Christmas being a mum was different too, as Henry was born unexpectantly premature and again I didn’t think much about it, but from his next Christmas I wanted it to be magical for him, like it was when I was a kid, and want to continue to do so, for when I have more children.
If you have had a familiar experience around Christmas time I would love to hear your story. You can leave a comment below.
Also if you are new to my blogs then you may not know that I like to raise money this time of year, for one of my charities I like to support, and this year I am raising money for a Charity called Tommy’s who raise money to support families whom have had stillbirths and premature births. My Just Giving page is link below if you would like to make a donation:
So if you didn’t read my previous post then you wouldn’t know that I didn’t have a good day yesterday, and was very fed up, and I never want to hide behind it, making out my life is full of red roses and making out I am on top of the world.
Today started of brilliantly but then was stitched up trying to buy items in Marks and Spencers.
If you have a bad day then there are some positive things that can help you through it, so here are ten ways to live a more positive life:
Practice and act of kindness, so I am fundraising this year like I do every year to raise money towards good causes, and you can too. My chosen charity this year is Tommy’s who raise money to carry research on Still births and premature births. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths This can be anything to even buying the Big Issue as they are sold to those who are homeless and trying to turn their lives around to living on the streets in England.
Write, even if it is a song, just get a notepad and begin. I write everyday as it relaxes me and I get lost in it to the point I don’t worry about anything else around me, especially when I do my other love, playing music whilst I work. This has become my kind of meditation and stick with it if it helps you.
Cook a favourite meal that relaxes you and gives you comfort. I believed like many from diet experts, that you shouldn’t comfort eat, but I disagree, as it is always so nice to have a meal that is like a great big hug on a plate or in a bowl.
Walk the cobwebs away. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, stressed or bogged down this always helps and getting well earned fresh air is the best medicine for me, and I did just that today, after the fiasco I had in M&S.
Look after your skin. This time of year I often get chapped skin on my hands and to the point they can be very sore, but because I have been using many creams and oils, it has stopped this, and I do feel better about myself that I don’t need to worry about this now.
Read a book a day. I love reading, but I do take a break from this, because when I do read I can read books one after the other and need that break to read more books and again helps me escape reality for a bit.
Set a week of goals to achieve and for each day, even if it is to have an extra hours of sleep, it is still a goal and sometimes you do need extra time to rest and recuperate.
Volunteer. I suppose this could be the same as number one, but I wanted to include this specifically as it can be so rewarding even if it is working in a Charity shop for a few hours. I helped out in a Football Festival and was marking down the scores of each match and I loved it. Now I know we are in lockdown again, but some shops do still appear to be open, so slightly confused, but you can even set up a Youtube channel to do a act of kindness by reading a story and like the guy who has an Instagram account called the Body Coach did, to help people to get fit.
Develop a project that you have always wanted to do, and it can be to set up a website or an online course, just anything that has a purpose to you and to others.
Have a penfriend. I had 3 to 4 penfriends at one time. One was a woman whom I met when visiting my Uncle Tony who was in a disabled home, and she loved Bon Jovi and knew of the songs like me too, and I loved her as soon as I met her, as she was so full of life and was so happy, that it opened my eyes that no matter what your problem may be you can still be happy and nothing should stop you. I sent her some Bon Jovi posters because she had trouble getting to them as they were downstairs in her local store, and it had no lift or anything so I bought some to send to her. I had another whom I met whilst on holiday in Devon, and a couple of girls who went to Grey Coats my secondary school and left to go abroad and another who I got in contact with through a rock magazine called Kerrang.
Being happy is hard to come by when for so long you haven’t felt good about yourself like I have, but making positive changes to your life, can make all the difference.
So Stay safe and strong, and remember never allow anyone stop you from having a more happier and positive life.
You maybe thinking why write this post when I was in my other blogs say “You go and set goals and be successful, fuck those who are arseholes”, but I like to be honest and this year I do feel like I have been on the worst rollercoaster I have ever been on. Not being dramatic and being an actress who didn’t get the part of being Cinderella and given the part of an ugly sister, putting up with those who are like “Talking bullshit is better than the truth, stop doing that, its wrong, I like lying” yet they often the ones who keep saying “I like being a C.U.N.T because I’m just being honest” and start shouting it about, and then when you see them or speak to them they start kissing your arse. I don’t, I may mention that what I write is me being honest, but I hope that I don’t need to say it and shout it, as people can automatically tell I am writing the truth and from my heart. It’s in the words, of expressing how I feel.
I know my mum might read this and say “That is a nasty blog take it down at once” Sorry mum but like you I’m only being caring and honest, like you always say you are.
Yeah it isn’t going to stop me from having a life, I am just fed up that there are those who make you think “To the Hell With it” I’ll have a take away rather than have the leftovers in my fridge, I’ll stay in bed all day, I shouldn’t have gotten out of the bed and wish I could hide away and that there would be such a thing of an invisibility cloak, to stop phone calls that I don’t want.
To the hell with it, I’ll stink all day as soon as you want to use the shower someone else in your home wants to use it, which is fine, but they see you getting your stuff ready and run in there, like the superhero flash. Yet I don’t mind waiting after him as you know he won’t be long, and when I use the shower I get accused of using up the hot water.
It’s days like today where I wouldn’t mind being a superhero with powers that would keep cretins away and have a credit card that noone can use to spend some dosh on my account. To those who do that, I want to say “Did you enjoy buying that crap on my account, was it worth it?” And then move the amount back to them, with a note says “Thanks for the debt but here’s my gift from me the debt you have tried to give to me”.
Life is full of ups and downs, but when you get more downs then up you feel like saying “To the Hell with it” I’m gonna give up.
My aim like so many, is to be happy and its my writing through blogs and books, that do keep me going along with being in love and listening to music.
I have come to discover that a lot of people aren’t want they seem, pretending to like you, but not and I am sick of that.
“To the Hell with it” I’ll be as nasty but because I do have a huge conscious, and know that there are genuine nice people it stops me. If they keep on I will take the piss out of them, but I am the sort of person, that when I like someone it is true, as I express it, but if it is someone I genuinely don’t like I won’t give them the time of day.
Part of being successful is to go through the wars aswell as the times when it feels like I have been given a bunch of roses, but when someone wants to destroy you through jealousy it just makes you say “To the Hell with it” have your glory I don’t care.
So yes, today has been one of those days, and I hope tomorrow will be a lot better, and hope I can have my dinner without any hassle and have a good evening.
If you had read my previous post this year didn’t start off too well, but as the year has gone on, with more heartache events happening, I want to end the year on a positive note by following these ten goals to help me:
Have two books written and published
Get back into my fitness
Spend time with the positive people in my life
Have a new home
Continue to grow my audience with writing more blogs
Have a better Christmas than the last one
Do some more videos for my Youtube channel
Invest in another pair of black trousers
Rearrange my wardrobe by putting outfits together
Finally create a end of year vision board of these things to develop another vision board for the following year
I am all about setting goals, and now I have shared some of mine, why not tell me by using the comments section below of one goal you would like to accomplish by the end of the year, too.
Life is about creating happiness and success in your life. There are those who are selfish and want to destroy it, because they don’t like to see people being happy, but leave them in their misery whilst you thrive.
List should always be about living the best life you can live, and that means developing a programme that advances your life.
WHAT DO I MEAN?
Creating as many things that will bring you happiness, success and all round wellbeing.
First of all do a diagram or a organisational chart or even a road map of the direction you want to take, to create big things into your life.
Example: Becoming a soccer coach
Step 1= Play a game and join a football team
Step 2 = Do a FA coaching qualification or scholarship
Step 3 = Coach a team
You can map it out as you like, it’s just setting it out and making it come true.
I am a goal setter and I make goals for the year but break it down into days, weeks and months.
The other thing is to get rid of some of the old and bring in the new, a sentence that is sung in the Dina Carrol song, “A perfect year”. So anything that you no longer get anything out of now, toss it away.
If you get that “inner critic” in your head then listen to it and shut it down. Create a list of everything that brings you joy now and what will bring you joy, when it is added to your life.
Circle a few that you wanna add with no more than four items at a time so you stop giving yourself to much to do, and break it down so all you want to add to your life, you can. Often from my own experience when going back over this list, my things I want to achieve can change, and that’s ok.
So go for it, live your dreams and be the success you want to be.
Those that do good by other people no matter where or when.
Some may shout Simon Cowell or Skeleton?
But having watched them on Camera they are just teeth and no action.
I heard that the contestants on BGT and the X Factor that they put them through, win and then soon after its taken away fr them again.
If you want to create dreams come true then do so, but honestly. People hate those that are bullshit.
Being unkind to those who are genuinely nice and down to earth as far as I am concerned isn’t being human at all as human nature is about nurturing one another not destroying someone because they are jealous, begrudging and can’t have what the other person has got.
I am not saying I am perfect I know I’m not I just love doing good by people. I am not liked by everyone, and I except that but if they haven’t said a cross word to me then I would not say anything to them.
Programmes like Jeremy Kyle show and the apprentice did highlight people who had nothing good in them and showed however much you disliked or believed in those programme, that YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AN ARSEHOLE TO BE HAPPY OR SUCCESSFUL.
I do believe in one of the ten commandments that never judge or hurt those how you wouldn’t liked to be judged or hurt themselves.
You don’t have to Hitler to be a manager or a business owner. Respect comes from you and them in your world and be grateful to those who are kind heartened because there the people whom make the world go round.
So let’s be kind, strong and all just get along because life is short and it’s about being happy not hurting.
To be successful it is important to be yourself and never copy as people will know that you have stolen someone elses idea.
When it comes to building an empire it should always be original and stand out from the rest.
My blogs have been doing extremely well because I share my difficulties as well as good parts of my life, because people who read my posts can relate to it as they know it is written from the heart as well from my mind.
Throughout our lives there are events which are out of our control, but when we manage our mindset it can help us to overcome our challenges and thrive in our lives.
I knew taking on the Great North run would take some doing, so I did train for it and I have written about this a lot, because it was a massive accomplishment, and one I am extremely proud of, and made me see that with sheer determination and drive I could do anything.
I have created a blog network, which is doing well for itself, and even though this passed few weeks have been tough, I do see a light and know that there are even more better things to come, and it is the old saying “When you full of a horse, always get back on”, because life is about thriving and living, not about existing.
So if you have idea, don’t throw it in the bin, but keep going and remember never copy as people will see through it, and that “Your only doing it for the money and because it is trendy”.
A business has to be created by your heart and mind, and have its own personal appearance, and have originality, and benefits people.
When I was working at Sitel I won many awards for my Customer Service, and this was due to taking a lot of emails, calls and online chats.
I did make mistakes but I have come to accept that mistakes needed to be made for me to learn for next time and the one thing I think helped me is I like to get in touch with people’s hearts and minds to, to help them and was always my biggest skill because people want to feel cared for and that there was someone willing to listen, and that was one thing I always did and will continue to do, to help them thrive and be happy.
Everyone can build a castle 