Category Archives: People

Finding the people that are good for you

04 Tuesday Jan 2022

Posted by in Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

I have just watched a TV programme about a mother called Anne, who faught for justice over the losing her son at Hillsborough in 1989 and I remember seeing this tragic event happen, when at my nans and thought that my cousin had gone. In the progamme she fights with other Liverpool supporters who also lost love ones too, protest to have the case reopened to get the verdict she and the other families wanted, which was unlawfully killed. Ninety seven supporters were crushed to death and the blame was put onto the Liverpool fans, when actually it was the football ground and the Police on that day.

Liverpool FC - ITV drama to tell inspirational story of Anne Williams

It inspired me to write this blog because in order have actions taken in your life it is good to find those people who can help you and give you full support. We are all allowed to fight our corner and speak out and should never be shut down by anyone.

Have you ever had a time where you have chatted away about something then got blanked and that person then turns to talk to someone else or completley changed the subject? It can be so annoying and you feel unworthy of speaking and so when it comes to life to help build it, it is good to find good amount of human support by the right people that can help you, but not knock you down, and don’t turn their back on you.

They may put up a defence towards what you want to do or talk about more to protect you, but will support you in the end.

If they just don’t want to listen, then they aren’t worthy of your attention either as I see it and find those who won’t do that. They can be easily found, it can be finding a network of people that do what you do and have the same mindset, it can be someone you work with, a friend of a friend or someone who has randomly spoken to you without them worrying who you are.

You want people who won’t trash over your success and your dreams and ask if they can help and still allow you to be in charge of it, but thankful that they have offered. It means they will do whatever you want with good intentions and not destroy it.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Restart your life Anytime not just for the New year

11 Monday Oct 2021

Posted by in career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Goal setting, how to deal with those that drag you down, New Beginnings, new year, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

So first of all. Thank you so much in liking my blogs on this site and so happy that you liked my 30 day challenge I did on this site, it really means everything to me.

In this blog post I am talking about Restart your life anytime not just for the New Year.

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com

When it comes to restarting your life it means putting a lot to rest. If you aren’t feeling happy with certain people in your life, either discuss this with them and moving on to more like minded people who you do feel you have a connection with.

Have a life cleansing routine or ritual, for me this is when I spend time having a shower, using a body scrub, wash my hair and do some exercise and writing.

Getting projects that are overdue done and set a day of when you want to complete them, and then follow the cleansing routine or ritual as a reward to yourself.

Change the things you read, wear and use by rotating system, where by you sort out of say clothes and to make sure they get worn you go through what you have worn a lot and what you haven’t so to make sure you do get to wear those clothes you love, take them out to remember to do so. I like to go through my clothes of items worn or not worn for a while to wearing and have all my autumn and winter shoes out ready to wear.

Stop the self doubt and start living the life you want, like you already are. Dreams can be as big as you want them to be, and often you need patience and determination and keep seeing the vision and develop it as you get closer to your dreams.

Never allow others dictate your life for you, but have a network of support who you know will help drive you forward and when you set yourself up to be heard then do so and raise the bar of your success.

For me it is getting rid of the passed and being in the now and what is next in your life.

Just be worthy of yourself and give yourself praise and vision of how you would like to feel about you, and what gives you a neverending successful feeling and dreams are to live, breath and remember to take it all in, so you don’t miss it.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Feeling like you have no power in your life/Gaining back control of uneventful things

02 Saturday Oct 2021

Posted by in empowerment, Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

What do I mean by power, no sense of control over your life, but you try to grab it by the horns and say “No I want control back” but it is not there. You miss the bus, but other days you make it. That is something that could effect your day and now you’re late and feel that panic or at the moment the petrol stations have been chockerblock due to people needing petrol and there not being enough due to the Lorrys that are supposed to delivering it and everyone it queuing in their cars to get petrol.

Stuck in traffic Stock Photos & Royalty-Free Images | Depositphotos

Then I worry about the buses what if they run out, how would we get anywhere, yet is there a way to gain control? Yes, travelling by a different route, like instead of a bus get the train instead. Then there are taxis and not turning up and you have business meeting. What can you do to gain control? again use the train or see if a coworker had a car who has petrol to see if they can pick up en route.

Basically if you want to get somewhere urgently we has humans will always find a way. That is with everything. Of course with COVID alot of things have got effected making work difficult and has gained control of what we do and where we go.

Can you get it back? Yes by using social media and going digitial on some things, like to do lists and managing the calendar and using the post to send cards out and contacting people. As said you will always as a human being find a way.

I keep that in mind with the things that go on in my life where I feel things are beyond control, like being stuck on a bus like the week just gone and was late to meet my son after he finished school, and that meant texting Henry, my son’s dad to make sure someone he is there for when Henry is bought back from school.

So never fear the power is with in you so remember if you lose a bit of control of your life, you will find a way to gain control again.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Pressures/how we can control it/the OPPP Pressure

23 Thursday Sep 2021

Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, Friendships and relationships, Love, New Beginnings, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

I am guilty of pressure and the way it has formed my life and taken over at times. We have the pressure to keep things/objects, check out my blog post: https://neworganizedself.blogspot.com/2021/09/things-you-loved-once-upon-timechanged.html

We have pressure from people around us at times, places and the paths we have gone through (OPPP Pressures) Objects, people, places and paths.

Eight out of 10 of women have felt unable to cope in the past year – here's why we're so stressed | Women | The Guardian

The talk in the blog linked above about letting go of things that no we are no longer in love with, or it can be because you played football at pro level and now you don’t due to injury and you never knew it would end in that way and now have accept that, the life we knew it is no more.

Letting things change for the better. This can cause many fears and hold us back.

We have pressure to restart things like wanting to read a book each month but now its 3 months later and still reading the same book. I have been there and failed, so now I will read my books as I do read to a novel or a true story and self help books. I give myself two pages a day and so far this method is working.

Pressures lay down questions that we don’t always want to answer but we know they are there. Example: Dealing with personal pressures, “If I don’t like a job I am in should I just give it up and move on?” I have worked for many companies and had been in this position and I have walked out on some jobs, due to the pressure.

Be strong and guided, allow the pressure to be releast and out of your body. Meditation is brilliant for this and prayer, if you are religious of course but pull yourself back and go through what is really causing the pressure, and go through The OPPP method to take control and be out of the pressure you feel.

Take care of yourself and #bekind to yourself and we deserve to be happy and be let of stress caused by too much pressure.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How to deal with loneliness and have more belonging

20 Monday Sep 2021

Posted by in Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Hello and welcome! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this blog post and of my other blogs I write, https://carresversitilefashion.wordpress.com and https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com

So can you believe that loneliness can be different to people? it can and I have learned that it is as a kid I felt I didn’t belong and was scared of rejection, but its because I am a naturally social person depending on where I am and who with. As a kid I could not see it and felt very lonely and was told by many that I live in a world of my own.

People Hugging Stock Video Footage | Royalty Free People Hugging Videos | Pond5

I was not sure of these words but in funny way I did see it as a compliment as it made me see early “I was my own person” and now glad I was different.

Being different to others is okay, its how to present yourself and many people who feel loneliness its because they don’t have the right people around them to feel fulfilled and we are naturally all social creatures, yet I have suffered with social anxiety. That can be lonely right there, and you feel that only you can see it yet they can’t and think I am unsocialable.

When I write this it makes me ask, does this sound strange? Perhaps but it is true, I do feed off from other people and if someone wants to talk to me, I do and not judge them. I loved it as a kid we would go on holiday with other families the area I spent my life as a child and loved them, and would go camping with them too. I loved this community of people and wish they were still in my life.

We can be lonely when we feel unwanted in a family and often its the excuse, “Well they are family” yet should we feel left out? I settle and get to feel comfort by giving people space, but let them see I am here if they want to talk to me. If I don’t like someone I do stay back and don’t engage, or if I feel wary of them and often let them approach me if they want to, or not.

It is all about setting, and if you feel self conscious around some people that can then make you want to go elsewhere or they pretend that they haven’t been out all day without you and then tell you as you believe that they just met, yet was a cock and ball story, knowing that you both know the truth. I am someone who basically sees it as, “If you want me as a friend that’s fine but don’t pretend that you do”. Every human can feel lonely event those that have lots of cash and no where to go.

With lonely comes honesty and often people want you to feel lonely because they think its gonna make you want them around, yet you don’t want them and it can be tough to let people go, but sometimes you just have to, to get beyond he loneliness.

Being lonely isn’t an attack on someone it is a feeling and about wanting to be part of a world you feel you aren’t. Give time to those who really care not those that don’t. Listen to good music, videos and podcasts or even an audiobook, that makes you feel loved and that there is magic in those that can give you a lift and since sociallising on the net I have neverr looked back and thanks to modern technology I have now kept in touch with all the friends I have and it is a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

13 Monday Sep 2021

Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , ,

Hello and welcome! I am going to make sure I blog once or twice a week on this site, but with the school run, not be possible and so if you have been waiting for a new blog on this site, I apologise.

So topic of blog. How do you make people listen when they don’t want to hear?

How many of us have had this experience?

I know it can be a never ending battle, but if they aren’t willing to see things on your point of view, often they never will, so the ball is still in your court on that.

How important is it to have these people still in your life? You need to ask, as can you move away from them?

That is not always possible, but actions can speak wonders.

What do they bring you when you see them? There are people who can be super jealous which leads them to resent everything you say and just want to argue and what they seeing is that. You being happy reflects on them, when no they just using you as an excuse so if they don’t want to hear you, then don’t give them the time. Say to them “If you aren’t willing to listen then we can’t carry on as me being here is not making you happy and you want me to be, so lets talk or move on” this way you are still giving them choice without taking full control over them, but gives them something to think about.

I hate it when it feels like a tug of war, as then I end up not wanting to speak to them and there story has to be worse than yours and it becomes a battle of “Who’s story is the most important” and it should be equal. They listen to you and you listen to them.

Are we made on this planet to get on with everyone? In an ideal world perhaps but not realistically impossible, but you can still be polite rather than hostile and just keeping distant if you can’t move away from them completely.

So what are your thoughts? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Last day/Wiping the slate clean

02 Thursday Sep 2021

Posted by in career building, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

So to wipe the slate clean you have had to have a dilemma at some point, and argument with someone for example and because you can’t agree doesn’t have to be full blown argument, yet you want to say “Okay we can’t agree so I can’t meet you in the middle, but lets just say how we feel and l;eave it at that”, but often it can become more.

Often it can be about our passed and how you felt for each other, constant negativity, yet wiping the slate clean is to forget and forgive.

WE CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE OR BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE, BUT STILL BE RESPECTFUL, AND WHAT YOU DISH OUT IS WHAT YOU’LL RECEIVE BACK!

You go through who was it that started the argument? You go home and feel like slamming every door in the house, yet not resolved and you go through and througjh some more, and turning very angry that it arupts into spitefulness and pointing at every issue you have about them and they do the same, but after time can be fixed.

Often we just need a breather and time to reflect on how we feel about someone.

So if you are going through a break up do you wish to argue with this person everyday and be resentful all your life?

No! As if you never agree and it turns into attacking them and you, aren’t we all worth the time and effort to see if it can be over and return to being polite and civil? Yes it can.

Often we need to withdraw ourselves and be the first to make immense with that person rather than holding a constant grudge.

Does it depend on what they did?

Yes! It is all about giving chances and sitting down having a chat with them, and you can come to the poiint that you are laughing, but if staff towards you again to begin the argument again, it is then, you’ve given them a chance, now it is time to walk away.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to our selves

27 Friday Aug 2021

Posted by in Everyday living, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Hwllo! I created my first video for my Summer Project 2021 so if you want to check this out then follow this link: Summer Project video.

https://www.youtube.com/user/cazzacheers1

This blog is about Helping others to be their own admire and giving credit to ourselves.

If we see good in us we see good in other people and you should spend time working on yourself.

Life can feel ike a long life sentence when we can’t stop giving ourselves a hard time, going throgh the problem you have with yourself? What really is bothering you?

You need to face it head on, look in the mirror and really observe yourself and then go though your life. Create something new into your life and going through the successes you had through your life, already. This is a great way to see, that you are worth thinking about and find photos of you and others that bring you happpiness and any photos of memories that is a cause of why you don’t feel good about yourself.

Is it due to a person, or bad habit, an addiction or you just don’t like what you see, when you look at yourself?

For me it was the latter I didn’t like looking at myself or hear my own voice. I would often hide away because of it and reallly demolish what I saw.

Yet if someone was saying those things to you, you wouldn’t stand for, so #BeKind to yourself, and see that everyone has qualities and be sponetanous.

Have an evening painting your nails, spend time rearranging you wardrobel and take pictures of different outfits you can create from your collection of clothes. treat yourself to having a new set of items to add, and change it up. Declutering is great, as it good chance to see what would help you look good in the mirror, if it is physical and have fun.

Example today as I write this blog I have the house to myself, so I decided to have a shower in the afternoon that I rarely have and put some indoor clothes on and so feel chilled and good about me, for a change.

Doing the same thing everyday can get on anyones nerves.

Create like I have to help with my confidence, a photobook via google of selfies to see when I don’t feel good to look so I do.

So be your admirer and will help you feel better and help you to love life rather than loath and give yourself credit.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Can your family history and your own history dictate your future?

23 Monday Aug 2021

Posted by in Creating new traditions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Summer times for me as a kid was getting out even when it rained to different places and meet different people and my holidays as a kid were full of having fun and long lasting memories. Now I trying to do the same for my son and other children that I may have, and I do like have a happy journal and try to keep those memories going, and one day the can read to look back themselves.

People On The Beach Free Stock Photo - Public Domain Pictures

I think your family history can have a massive input on how you are when becoming an adult, and I loved going on holiday with a lot of families it made them extra special and it introduced different cultures and socialising.

When it comes to history it can dictate your future as you find that you are forever learning and it is good to have things you learned as a kid into your world as aduilt, like for example, working in a Holiday Camp, as my first holidays were spent in Clacton and it has influenced me to wanting to holiday again and would love to go on a holiday and rent a cabin.

I come from a huge family and loved it when I saw my relatives and looking back on the Christmases we had, sorry about mentioning the C word only being Auigust and near to Setpember, made me want to have similar Christmases and do all the things I have dreamed of doing. My nan loved it when we, my family all got together and was very family orientated.

My nan was very good at looking after people, and for me along with my Nanny rose were proper grandparents and I still love horse racing and have gone to see it as a kid and would love to do this again, and my one dream since a kid was to go to a ladies day meeting, and dress up.

So family history can definitely dictate the future, but of the good things to make more good things in your life today and the future and learn from the bad to not make the same mistakes as want others have made and yourself.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms

16 Monday Aug 2021

Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, Love, People, Personal Development, Summer project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , ,

So first of all I today did a video talking Expectations in a regular video I do talking about The Truth Of Growing up, and so check out if you wish too.

Expectations are always going to be there from other people and from yourself too, but it should be on your terms, and what I mean by that is that often others can expect too much, and should be what will help you individually to raise the bar and be done gradually.

87,929 Building blocks Stock Photos | Free & Royalty-free Building blocks Images | Depositphotos

I am someone who jumps into something with both feet, when I would go to dancing school, when I first began working and even when I would write books as a kid, expected my first book I wrote as an adult, would it be well received, yet reading it back, some details were in correct as when you have a child you do get baby brain, but it was telling my story of a first time mother and the things that I never knew about until I became a parent. If you would like to check out my books The Parenting Adventures under may married name then they are available from Amazon (name Carrie Challoner) as I now use my maiden, Carrie Holmes or Carrie Lee Holmes.

When you get married everyone expects you to be already planning to have kids, yet its not a fairy story, it is real life and I am glad I never rushed into marriage as it was four years later and that I got married and then it was a while until I had my son Henry. Me and Henry, My son’s dad have split and we been together a long time, but we still make sure that Henry sees us both.

With all relationships there is an expectation from you and them, to be on the same page and terms, and that they are there to hold your hand and listen and want to see you to wind down and to catch up of what of how they have been and the same for you. Yet friendships can then be tested by others who get resentful and that it is a tug of war, where that person then says “Who is your bestest friend” and this continues from experience to adult age and you think not, but true.

Again if they expect you to meet you when it suits them, then is this a expectation of “Your here to see me not you” and that is where the expectation is impossible to reach, due to other things in your life. Friendship is a two way street and be fair.

So you raise the expectations not them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X