We can often be mislead by people thinking they are good, unfortunately it can be those who pretend, use being nice as a cover to disguise who they really are. Then there is the person who vents, but they smile at you and they are naturally nice to people because they often don’t see what an amazing person they are, and they will without question embrace the fact you have got a personalised card for someone, and they don’t get begrudging over it, and then they get an even bigger card, the pretender will disguise their jealousy but a lot of it, is you can read it from their body language and eyes.
Pretenders will pretend to be the victim when they are being told about what they are doing is wrong, by saying how they have missed out, when a real person will take it on board, address it and apologise. When pretenders see someone being cross at someone else, they will intervene and usually take the person having a go and someone, side to then feel superior because that person that is being shouted out, is less of a person then that pretender and they get off on someone who is being told they aren’t good enough, and pretenders love seeing people fail.
I have had those feelings, but I have stopped them because I never want to be a pretender but be real.
Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:
Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.
They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.
These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.
What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.
When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.
If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.
People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.
So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.
Hello and welcome! It is Monday late afternoon and I have Monday video for you to share, and this in video I talk about Events you can’t control and the things you can.
It is all about how you see things. When I have a traumatic event in my life that I couldn’t control I would automatically shut down to spend time coming to terms with and then give myself time to move on. For me it is gradual process, but what I have done that has always been the one thing that has helped me gain perspective, as that is the key, is to journal and then say, “Okay so where do i want to go now and how will I go about giving myself peace in addressing this event, so it doesn’t hurt me any more?”.
Life is about building and rebuilding as certain events we can’t control like COVID, comes into our life to turn it upside down, so it has meant that many having to work at home whilst the kids are shouting and screaming, being off school and then having to be the teacher aswell as the parent. Some people can easily adjust to this when others are left with thinking “Where do i start?”
For me it was “Okay, I will in this time spend that amount of time with Henry, so in the morning and then this amount of time to do work”. You find a way and for me it meant working and using the evenings, weekends when he would be looked after by someone else to have a break, and it is “Take one step at a time”.
Never rush in, but say “How can I deal with this and make it pain free?” So use some of the time to all of you in the family including your kids create a family meal. I do believe that Cookery should be bought back into schools, having your kids organize the grocery shopping for a change. If we aren’t have a load of picnic’s in the park, why not have one in the garden.
As I see it “You find a way of making it easy” and follow the day.
So, more blogs to come and have a good rest of the week.
many thanks for watching my videos and reading this blog,
So, in this Weekly blog post, I am sharing some tips on Building Success from easter to Autumn. If you would like to checkout my new EBooks then please go to: Amazon.com and look under the name Carrie Lee Holmes.
So my first Tip# Is to go through you calendar of important dates. Go through birthdays and anniversaries, and how you can use them in your work or work around them. If there are birthdays or anniversaries that you can’t attend, of who may have sent out invitations to you, but still send them a message via social media or a card still. If you need like I do to shut yourself away to work on an online course or a book, do it, and set a date for yourself and many do a Writing Retreat.
Tip 2# Go through the summer months of taking your work outside, and make your work more personal to the people you are trying to attract. People like those who create products that solves a problem in everyday things, like, How to save money on energy in the home that you can save for your business.
I am all for working and saving at the sametime and that is now, why I am financially secure, because I have created a passive income with solid income and that means having weeks where I will work Rock solid and then take time out. Those who are earning a lot of money, know it when they no longer have to work everyday or can take it easy and can have more holidays. I know with Lockdown it has not been possible, but I do have some holidays booked and really looking forward to them
Tip 3# Use Easter to separate your work and finance as a new quarter, so like from Jan to March is one quarter, April to July or June the second and July to September is the third and October to December the last quarter. Honestly, it makes work so much easier.
I was someone who worked month to month at one time, but it never worked for me, and I have set goals for this month April 2021, but I have done it so I can work through them, through the other months.
Tip 4# Don’t jam pack your day with loads of meetings and tasks. I like to spread things out in the week, and would book meetings in the morning so I have my afternoons and evenings, to myself to do whatever I choose. I do have a day in the week where I don’t write blogs to go live or post any at all, and that is Sunday.
So go through your week and things you may have already booked and, then see where there is space to have an Admin day, a no meeting day or a day of doing research.
Rip 5# Use the sunmmer holidays as the time to plan the next quarters and keep setting goals. A lot of people think goal setting should be at the beginning of the year, but plan them all year round.
Hello! Yes this post is a little late, but that was because I slept in, but still want to write it. If you would like to read more of my Monday Morning posts then click on this link here: Monday Morning posts
So in this blog post I am going to be talking about Toxic people and it can be contagious. Well bascially they are those who feel that they are unworthy if they don’t stamp their authority and try to control every aspect of your life and they make days a challenge because you find that you get driven in a power struggle, and start to score points over them, which they do to you.
“Their headache is worser than yours”
They begin to nip pick over everything you do, and this is a form of abuse and bullying, and then you end up having to answer for everything you say and do. They drain you out of happiness and energy because they want you to have a bad day, because they are and don’t like anything you do that makes you happy.
This can then turn on you as you begin to lose faith in people and become angry and resentful yourself. They can make you hate the world and not want to get out of bed, and make you into being like them and not who you are. Feeling like you have lost your identity can summon up toxic people and they will use even going on holiday seem like the worst thing in the world and feel as if it is hard work.
“You can never seem to get a break”
They will often guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail, and even when you try to agree with them they hold that against you, and you end up feeling like its just best to let them waggle on and don’t allow them to victimise you as this is a trait of a toxic person and you find that you have inner strength that they don’t, being the better person by standing your ground, and it is in fact a sign of weakness on their behalf, not yours.
I find that they are people who worry so much about time, and be the ones you end up leaving things to the last minute, and then they use that to attack you. Often they want you to hit them to justify their toxic behaviour and so I have learned since I was a kid to switch off, and you can do this too, just find a quiet place even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom, putting some chill out music and taking a bath.
“Noone should be bogged down because of someone elses stress”
They use their behaviour to twist and turn everything you do and say, and if you have #mentalhealth issue, they will often use this as amunition to get at you, and you can have them arrested for Victimisation on this subject and now noone is allowed to challenge you if you have a mental health issue, but then they can use this to get at you because they are that toxic they use mental health as an attacking mechanism, and they can also control you so much that they end up imprisoning you because they are frightened of you having a better life, because they blame you because they haven’t and will never be, because they use their Toxic personality to be selfish and resentful of everyone around you and drain you of being a entraupner.
“They don’t like seeing people be successful and want everyone to drown in a puddle of uncarelessness”.
So if you are surrounded with these kinds of people then,
Fight back
Call for help
Report
Noone should be drive by these types of people and be happy. Everyone deserves the life they love and not have that destroyed.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: You can read all my blogposts and videos on my site:
Hello, so yeah it is late in the day but I am still going to go with it, as I like to stick to my blog routine and so this post is about Making the most of my time whilst in Lockdown and one of the things I have been doing is, creating some new boards on Pinterest which I am going to share with you so see here:
Seasonal Living
Meal Ideas for those I love on Youtube
Make up, fashion and beauty on Youtube
British Legacy
Classic TV Shows
My Favourite Shows
Hauls Groceries, fashion and other things
Joke of the day
There is more that if I added them would make this blog super long, so If you would like to visit my Pinterest page then do. Here is the link:
I have updated my blog network site, where I put all my blogs and videos I do weekly, so do check this out:
I like to have different things to do each week and I haven’t felt restricted if I were to be truly honest. I know there will be those who will be getting fed up of trying to be busy still by cleaning which is always the bottom of my list, and feel that there is only so much cleaning you can do, without being fed up of wiping the same service each time. What I would say is to implement more down time then and don’t feel guilty about it.
I bet now with Lockdown there are people etching to be back in a more work based environment as with kids being home too, can be tricky and you can begin to lose the plot a bit.
Still block schedule which I have spoken a lot about and it is blocking time through your day to do various different activities, so like for me between say 10 to 12noon, Go through blogs and videos schedule, afternoon: Lunch, Catch up on Youtube, take a break and then evening work on book, plan for the next day and take a shower.
It is important to make time for your kids but have a time where you can easily do things you need to get done without your kids crying for some attention.
I make sure I have a cut of time of when I get up and when I finish my work for the day so I still got balance and don’t get repetitive days and make time for the things I enjoy more than the things I don’t.
Lockdown, doesn’t have to mean the end of freedom or your life but implenting things that can still bring you happiness in the day and not feel worn down by do much juggling and balancing of things to do.
So looks like this could all shift by Easter and I am so in need for a McDonalds, a music festival, a football match and a browse around the shops I Love.
Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.
I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.
So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,
Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”
Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.
Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.
Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.
Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.
I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.
As human beings we can be driven by our Inner Critic.
That voice can go on and on, telling you, your wasting your time and don’t bother getting out of bed do it tomorrow.
However not being Mrs Doom and Gloom, what if tomorrow never came?
Neither of us know what is around the corner. I have often seen things before they have happened, example I knew that my mum was going to end up with Tot (my step dad) ages before they got together, but not sure if this was coincidence or just a thought.
When it comes to dealing with the Inner Critic be ruthless with yourself and say “No I am going to go for run today” even if the Inner Critic keeps on and is constant.
Don’t ignore the Inner Critic because from my own experience when you do the voice can get stronger, so acknowledge it and tell it to “Shut up” get up out of bed, put your running gear by your bed on, which I would always suggest you so the night before and before the Inner Critic can continue go for a run.
With the Inner Critic it can effect our everyday lives, like when we write a letter, a book or a blog, going on examples. This voice is our protector in a way, as often as humans we can sniff out danger or that the letter isn’t good, so you proof read and edit it until it is good.
What you don’t want to do is allow it to take over, because once it does it can make you think Rapidly and then stop you in your tracks, talking you out of it, then you feel guilty for not doing what you wanted and it has ended up not being anything to really worry about at all.
I remember one work Christmas Party and it was a new job but being shy and suffering with Social Anxiety didn’t want to go, well I am glad I did because it was brilliant. Yes I did get drunk, but from that point forward really got to know my new colleagues and began to fit in.
Keep a Journal to answer the Inner Critic and what you really think and what you should do. Example you have split from your boyfriend and you then have the Inner Critic telling you that you shouldn’t have done that, make bullet points as to why you did and then read them out, and create a new plan of action to move on.
When relationships breakdown there is a reason, so write in your journal about it to address the topic, and face the voice by looking in a mirror imaging the Inner Critic is in front of you head on and say “GO AWAY”, silence it by imagining the voice getting quieter and quieter until it is completely muted.
Then reducing the image of the Critic until it completely disappears.
Try doing this several times and you will no longer be dictated by the Inner Critic, but by the voice that is in your gut instead.
I have done a cheat for you to download with this activity and you can even stick it on the wall, and try it every time the Inner Critic speaks.
Hello and welcome to another blog. In today’s post I am writing about Building a Foundation around you. Now I did do another blog a long while ago called,
Since this blog my life has changed. My marriage has come to and end, some jobs I was doing didn’t workout, yet I still feel I have built a good foundation.
There are people out there who I have been working with who believe in my blogs and books which have become my full time job. I am writing a book called Everyone Can Build a Castle, because I have had so much positive feedback that I thought it was time.
It is important to have a team especially if you are a blogwriter and also do other jobs, because it can become overwhelming, so having someone you can delegate jobs to is a “must have” in my book.
It has been a very difficult year but now I have met the man of my dreams who has bought the word “Love” back into my life. Being in love again is truly special and a new life is beginning for me.
Sometimes in order to create foundation you have to do some searching and may take time to know them, but once you have built that foundation and you can sleep at night you know you are on the right track for success.
However there will be people who will try and manipulate, stir trouble or be a negative person, but never let these people dictate and let them wallow in their misery.
ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM!
What you want to do is have a good set of people who can jump in when you fall, and be your Rock.
Please remember to follow me if you wish to be kept up to date with my blogpost. I am now planning on blogging on this site everyday and so I will be back with a post tomorrow aswell.
Hi everyone! Yes it is Friday and if you have been like me working you nuts off then hats off to you.
We will get through this Pandemic and please do stay safe.
Thank you to all of you who have read and now are following this blog site and please do give me feedback of topics on this site you would like me to cover. You can leave a comment below.
In this blog I am linking my weekly newsletter blog, talking about 10 Tips on Dealing with betrayal:
Hello and welcome to another blog. In today’s post I am writing about Building a Foundation around you. Now I did do another blog a long while ago called,
Everyone can build a castle 