When my son was born premature it really scared me and didn’t have any idea of what was going to happen next. I had no inkling that Henry was going to be born early and I shut down any thinking of the future, and I am a planner. The evening my waters broke I was going through my diary of how many weeks I had to go and that evening i went to hospital and then on the Monday of being in hospital from the Saturday, my son was born, and I never felt so frightened in my life and if my son was going to be okay.
I love taking pictures of London and good way of helping trauma that has helped me, is taking pictures and people I love.
Yes having a child is a miracle and I did want children but it was the shock, that made me shut down and for once was not worrying about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I cried a lot. Taking one day at a time I just concentrated on doing what I could to feed Henry my milk and readjusting, when I could visit my son in hospital I did and helped with feeding, having cuddles and changing him, and take it step by step.
For me that is the best way, and just taking it slow.
Life has a way of surprising us, so it is important to live each day at a time. Yes I am into goal setting, but I do set goals daily as they arise and try not to worry about tomorrow all of the time. My Keyworkers, when my mental health wasn’t good, both said to take each day at a time, and is about getting back to recovery state so enjoy the days with my son, and rebuilding relationships that were on the brink of falling apart and concentrate on my health and on my environment. Getting back to doing the things I love, like blog writing, going for walks and spending time with my son.
I hope these blogs help you and lets support one another.
This is something I journaled when away near the south coast of Britain in a caravan and is important to me because I do go back to the passed in my thoughts and of the future, but in order to plan for the future you have to live each day and be present, rather in a dream world all of the time.
So when I wrote this, it was to enjoy myself with my husband and son, and seeing friends and were friends who hadn’t met our son, and being present helped I feel, have a good weekend.
Write it out and I have just did a new page of my journal, to what I want to do right now and helping me to slow down and focus on one task at a time.
It helps me to prioritize, so I have laundry to sort out so going to, once written this blog, go and check to see if my clothes are dry and put another load on. I have an telephone appointment and so need to prepare for that and having breaks in between and not feel overloaded with stuff to do.
It helps manage the mind to prevent burn out, and not being stuck in one place all day, as this can effect concentration and our feelings along with our thoughts
Yes Yes Yes! NO this is not copying when Harry met Sally, if you remember that film, I have set my goals for the summer, ready for the next season and to grow. Setting goals helps me to accomplish the things I want to do, and help me get through challenges, like for example I want to do fundraising events again but worry that I am not fit enough and have had injuries in building my walking and running again.
Running and walking on uneven pavements can contribute to that so it important I continue to walk as much as possible and get my body used to it again. There will always be hurdles, and so use this when it comes to achieving your goals, not to exhaust yourself but to stir you on to complete them.
I separate my goals into three categories, Home, Work and Play.
So in home is anything like my finances and Henry, my son like getting ready to prepare for his new school,, work is like my blogs and youtube for example and hopefully be outside work soon, and play is going out to dinner, trips and playing with son having lots of fun.
Here a printable I made to help you begin your Summer Goals:
The summer me is getting outdoors and exploring and do things that you can’t do in the Autumn and Winter, like swimming outdoors and have a meal in the garden. Well I suppose you could do these things in the Autumn and Winter, but would need blankets and coats, but for the summer you don’t and just having a lunch outside of a restaurant can be uplifting and, so they don’t have to be serious goals but ones that you can almost feel the enjoyment and motivation already, just by jotting them down.
You can keep; track of my blogs but following me and if you’d like to share you goals the please do. You can comment below..
Ok so you went for a job interview, got ready and put on some make up, did your hair and dressed smart and prepped for it, only to hear that once again you haven’t been unsuccessful. Often we can feel that we have wasted our time, but your not able to see who else applied for that job and what skills they had that you didn’t.
Often it could be that the company who you applied for, may have already had someone in mind and so you didn’t stand a chance anyway, even if you had worn your best suit or dress. I felt like that when I applied for a position to work with the email and chat team at a call centre I was working for. I had been there for a while and felt that it would be a perfect fit, but no someone else got it, who had been there less, and I felt a bit like, “Thanks for being loyal” being that I had been there four years and not had a day off sick, never been late and did a good job because they’d tell me, and so would the customers I would help. I was doing technical support.
Also I was the first person to work on the chat system they created, and I changed departments because I was finding it hard doing technical support for certain products that I didn’t understand and wanted a change, and so it was agreed that I could change, but then the deal was that I would work on the chat system which they wanted to test for a new product and see how effective it was, and whilst on chat would do emails to help out the email team, and it wasn’t just me others had joined me and it would be rotated so others worked on the chat system, did emails, whilst I help customers on the phones. I then was called into the office on one shift and offered the chance to move to the email team, along with working on the online chat service, and so, never give up. Just because you didn’t get the job this time, round doesn’t mean you won’t, you just have to keep trying and show them what you are capable of and worked my hard and was eventually awarded by the job I was doing.
Determination for me is everything and I have had a lot of knock backs, and I did when I was looking for work to work at a Holiday camp. I gave myself two years and it was the second year I was successful. Often people want to see how keen you are, and you see singers on the voice, who have already had record deals, and had to start their career from scratch again. Like Wendy Moten, who won the Voice on the USA version and was shocked because she did do some brilliant records, her famous one “Coming out of the rain”, and so knocks backs are okay, and learn from them to help continue building the life you want, and the job you want.
When it comes to relationships. I have been dumped by boyfriends, not having that many, and yes at first I’d be upset but then soon got over it, and if they aren’t meant to be so be it, but never fear, I did get married and had a son so now looking back, glad I was dumped because I would never have met my husband or had my son.
Life is full of hurdles Obstacles (jumping hurdles) and never should stop you for following your dreams and achieving your goals. I am never gong to allow anyone stop me from living my life and the same should be for you. You deserve a life full fun and happiness. So allow the knock backs in your life to help you not destroy you.
I am living to build my life and make it better each day. The one thing that can effect my mood is music as some gives me good memories and others that helps to motivate me and feel good. There are songs that reminds me of sad times, but I use a lot of that to help write my books, depending on what the books are about. I tend to write biographical, like my The Parenting Adventures books, check them out on amazon, along with serious novels on real life issues and comedy.
I do have a lot of ideas on writing children’s books and I have created a playlist to help me write.
Then there are darts players who each have a song they walk on to and you can tell that the music to them is what makes them with their confidence and excitement by the supporters that are there at the matches to support their favourite places. The music helps with the build up and entertainment of the sport.
When I see videos on Instagram by The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, he is working out with music and you can tell that the music he plays has influenced him in building his body and staying in shape.
Music is powerful and when I did dancing the music played a key part in the dancing routines we would do and it had to be the right music to help with the enjoyment of the doing the different routines we would do, and with the disco part we often the children would make up new routines but it had to be the right song, for the dances to work, and help complete the creation of the dance.
When you watch American Wrestling each wrestler have their own song, and whenever there is a change of president in the United States they have singers on stage singing supporting them like when Barracker Balmer became president it was Beyoncé and sang At Last and always think about that when the song plays and it was the music that was created for World cup 1990 in Italy that made me fall in love with the football and so music can have a massive influence on our dreams.
If you have entered in a free Webinar online with Tony Robbins, I mean the free ones, well they play music as they encourage you to dance off your feelings to boost your energy before they start and during and really helps the mind, and so music can play a huge part in your body, mind and spirit, to help towards dreams and a great source of free medicine.
So choose music to motivate as it can tick all the boxes for therapy for me and would not live without it.
So yesterday was a day where some people were just being rude and reckless. First of all I let some guy pass me with his dog and got no thank you or acknowledgement, then a car pulled up close to the bus on the way home making the bus do a sudden stop, and then getting on the other bus I have to get on to go home, this person who got of the other bus aswell and get on the other decided to jump in front of me. This really annoyed me in that it did effect my mood. I made it clear to this guy that I wasn’t happy with what he had done and think of all the bad things I could do to make my case to him even more, but then thought to myself, “What would that achieve?”
There are always going to be people who will test you, and like that guy getting on the bus, he won’t change, there will always be those who push in, and I found now that I get a bit like that too and push in front, but then I will rein myself in and wait. At the end of the day never allow others people’s actions rub off on you as it reminds me that I will give up my seat whenever other people won’t and will acknowledge other people who have waited for the bus before me. I am not a saint but I do believe that if you do good for people you will get rewarded and it just makes the world a better place to live.
When it comes to being a good citizen is to not to allow others bad habits rub off on you and show especially when you have kids how to behave even when someone has been unkind and what is the right thing. I have over reacted on some occasions, for example when I thought I had left Henry’s water bottle at his swimming class had to go back and a women had a go at me for having the door open to the outside and so I said “Have you never forgotten anything?” and called her a horrible person and then started to get super angry.
This effected me in thinking will I ever reach my dreams because of that incident, but actually makes me more determined and if she wants to be unkind then let her be and the best thing is to learn about what not to do and how to be if someone I see has forgotten something and would help them find it, rather than be rude because they have the door open for a second.
I will keep being good to others and not allow people who are unkind effect my habits towards others it just leads down the wrong road and can escalate to not wanting to go out and having a good day Working in a call centre was tough as you did get people calling you names on the phone and be rude from the moment you have picked up the call, and so you had to hold yourself together and not to take it personally. Yet I would go home feeling my blood boiling and take my mood out on my husband and it would effect his mood and this became a habit, and made me feel that my life isn’t going anywhere, when that wasn’t true It was actually motivating me to be stronger and learn how to help people that aren’t so nice. This would make me feel also “Stop being nice” but then would ask “What would that Achieve?” I like being kind to others, and not all calls were bad some just needed help and would be happy, so it wasn’t that bad and helped me be better socially and would respect those when I called a call centre be kinda and politer, and not allow others bad habits of behaviour affect me in chasing my dreams and move on in my life.
So don’t allow other people’s actions cause you to think there is no other life out there, but use these challenges to help you to conquer your dreams even more.
So if you have dreams and ambitions then it is time to take action, but yourself belief has to be good because what you project you will receive back and so what is causing you to not believe in yourself? What is your self belief saying to you?
Keeping a journal and writing notes on how you feel about yourself can help and where did these feelings stem from?
I have never been seen as clever or artistic, and school played a huge part in it. I remember when I did a school play a lot of the pupils at the school said how pretty I looked with make up on and so thought “Oh so I am not pretty without make up?” and it did make me feel sad, and then I was told by another girl when I was at secondary school that I am basically boring, because of keeping on about The Bill which was one of my favourite programmes on TV, but then she became a fan, and I didn’t resentful of shout, and respected her honesty and so I did stop, and it never became a slagging match but she would cause arguments so not sure of her true intentions but looking back I could be annoying and I could have been defensive but I wasn’t. I was not cool about it after school but now when thinking about it feel differently and I took it on board of what she was saying, and yes I could get on people’s nerves and it takes a lot to speak up and say it, so I stopped and didn’t see it as a personal attack, which could have happened but that she was being true and we still remained friends and still hung out, so I respected her for talking with me and talked it through rather then it lead to a disagreement.
Dwelling has played a huge part, and I think about what I could have done, when thinking about those events at school mentioned above, and thought perhaps I should have punched her on the nose but what good would that had done? I would have gotten detention and suspended so it wouldn’t have been worth it to lash out, instead I took it on the chin, and we carried on being friends as said, and she wasn’t saying she hated me and that we should stop being friends but was calm and I understood.
If they are being rude to you and just being spiteful, then rise above it and it tends to not be about you, but about them. Noone is your dictator but yourself and this doesn’t mean being ignorant and not listening to others but if they are vicious to you because in fact it can be their own insecurity that is talking and not actually you, is to say something like “Okay I heard you and thank you for your honesty and how you feel and will take your comments on board and will stop doing, I am sorry it annoyed you”.
In order to build our belief with our self we need to listen to others and when they compliment you never throw it back into their face, and use it to build your mindset of seeing that you are an amazing person with a good heart and mind, and good that people look up to you, because people do, and when someone wanted to join me when I began to do running or walking for charity, it really made me feel amazing and rewarding.
I have accomplished a lot in my life now at the age of 44 and there is still more I want to achieve, but I have had to do some work on my mental health and self belief. I have had to stop being afraid and take risks and learned from my mistakes and get rid of scars and keep moving forward.
I never thought I would run a half marathon but I have and it was tough and I was done by the 5th mile but I kept on going and struggled to walk the next day but still did it and felt so amazing and surprised in what my body can do. I carried a child in my tummy, I inspired others in doing my runs and walks to fundraise as said, and made a difference in peoples lives.
When I see ticks on my lists is an accomplishment and another step for me to grow and learn and continue to build my knowledge and understanding of life and where I want to go, and where I want them to lead to..I want to get back into doing charity walks and runs, and so I try to do some walking each day and when my son goes out on his scooter will run. I want to finish my next book, so been doing a bit of writing each day, and I want to help my son with his learning so will make it a must on a Sunday for him to do his homework and do some extra learning when at home, by playing different games and want to set a good example for my son, as he has helped me to grow and get to grips with my life, and self belief.
Sometimes we have to learn to lead others and felt I did that when it came to doing dancing, which I did until I was 16 and looking for work when I left school and then like I say go into to running and walking to raise money for charity. I did football coaching which was a dream I had and enjoyed it and would like to do that again as it was rewarding and then worked at a holiday camp which is something I wanted to do as a kid and I feel proud in myself in that I did that and as said there is still so much I want to do and to do that I have to have self belief, and so do you.
So lets build up our lives to help build others lives too and believe in conquering your dreams.
So if you don’t know for the last two years I have developed a Life Coaching programme to have a better life and a better year, and because I have had some great feedback want to continue and was doing one from April to May and a Summer Project from July to August, but this year I have decided to to merge them both together and be the Summer Project 2023 and will run from 1st of May to the 31st August.
I am putting together a printable and sharing the topics I want ti cover and what to expect from my Life Coaching programme.
Once I have done this I will upload, and if there are topics you’d like me to cover then please leave suggestions in the comments below.
All feedback matters because it helps to grow my content and cover many different areas to help you have a better life.
I have already been putting different resources on my Pinterest and if you’d like to check this out before my Life Coaching programme begins then check it out here:
I will be adding to this so do check it out and I have some other boards that you may find helpful too.
I am really looking forward to it and you giving me feedback by liking my previous life coaching blogs, has helped contribute that and I know that what I cover is doing what I want it to do, to help be happy with life and growing each day, week, month and year.
Thank you once again for all of your support and checking out my blogs. So it is now coming up to another year but it doesn’t mean we can’t make changes in our life now.It is about progress, and it isn’t about getting everything so perfect that I often have to remind myself of that, but have a life that makes you smile rather then feel down.
Yes I have had a mental health illness but doesn’t mean my life has to be at a stand still, it means it gives me more fight in me too build my life and continue following my dreams. There is still so much I want to do. I have been meaning to take my son to another football match as he loves sport and has been on my list for ages and this weekend we did just that and wanted to take Henry to another Pantomimes and this year he is going to see two.
Life should be full of dreams and making the most out of each season, and have a life full of joy, and things to look back on and everlasting and be able to pass them on as each generation comes into the world and everyone deserves a life they love.
Begin by keeping a journal of your thoughts and getting your dreams out on a paper and go through the things you want. some may not have been a sort of person who ever wanted something, like a lady called Baroness Karen Brady, but looking and viewing herself, she must have done but subconsciously she must have done to be as successful and I can’t imagine how she got so far by not, and she ran football clubs and so she must wanted good things at the clubs she worked for to get where she is.
You do have to take on challenges, like I was in a hospital to help my mental health illness I had and helped me get back on my feet again and was challenging but was good to have that space and time to make sense of life again, and can’t wait to take on more. I really get a boost of setting myself challenges each year and now my challenge is to find outside work to expand myself even more and help with my writing and understanding more about people and want to help others with mental health problems and help build other children’s life and set a good example for my son, for him to be the best person he could be, and follow his dreams he has.
If he does find that he wants to play football or rugby then I going to look for him to join a team, or a club. Kids do change their mind I did a lot, of what I wanted to do in my life.I do believe in having eggs in different baskets and do many different things and so far accomplished them. I wanted to sort my room out in the week just gone and I did. I did a total reset and it feel so good to have a room with no clutter. I felt I needed to do it and it can make my life feel chaotic which I want to avoid.
The next thing is to sort my hair out so if I do work outside I want neat and tidy hair and be a manageable length.
So lets keep building our lives and enjoy our lives through each season whether it not in the new year. We can set our goals whenever we want.
I’d like to know what you want out of life now and what your ambitions and dreams you have. You can leave a comment below.
We can all be somebody if we truly believe in ourselves, watching the world cup inspired me to write this post because we like me a lot of you may, doubt themselves, and for me I have always wanted to do something that I never thought I could do. I never thought I’d ever run and was just a thought and never thought I’d do the Great North Run, but there I was in 2008 doing just that. It made me see what I am capable of and everyone deserves a life they want and be the best at what they can be.
Making small changes in your life can lead you to success and that can be doing a workout in the mornings and I have started to meditate each day and I never thought I’d write a book, even though it has been a childhood dream, and then I saw a programme on TV and it was someone talking about self publishing on amazon, and thought I’d like to do that, so when I had my son it inspired me to create The Parenting Adventures, check these out on Amazon under my married name Carrie Challoner and working on a new book called Mum&Me and editing as we speak and never thought I’d blog as this type of writing never was a thing as a child as there were no internet like there is today.
I know a lot of people are going to be struggling this year with the prices of things going up, but you can still have a life you love and that is to set a plan and if you wanted to write and publish a book then go for it, or run a half marathon, as it really helps with your wellbeing. They are just examples, because when I was working it inspired others to do the same and I loved that and people wanted to join me.
I never thought I would have people liking my blogs and it was reading a book that inspired me to start blog writing and everyday I getting likes and followers and it really feels my up with a lot of joy and build my life up even more.
Set yourself some quick and easy goals, like going for a walk each day and if you are looking for work then sit down and do plan to find that job you have always wanted and write a plan of how you want to get there. Tomorrow I am going to a Job Fair and if you contact the Jobcentre they can refer you and make an appointment for you to go. If you find out it is not what you want to do then that is fine, your only going to find out and see.
Think about year from now what do you want your life to look like?
Visualise and write it down. Set yourself challenges and these has really helped me and I have managed to get a lot done by breaking it down and focus on small tasks each day. I listen a lot to Mel Robbins and she writes just five things a day and I have found this very resourceful. So make challenges for yourself and small and then make them bigger each year.
Everyone can build a castle 