We can often be mislead by people thinking they are good, unfortunately it can be those who pretend, use being nice as a cover to disguise who they really are. Then there is the person who vents, but they smile at you and they are naturally nice to people because they often don’t see what an amazing person they are, and they will without question embrace the fact you have got a personalised card for someone, and they don’t get begrudging over it, and then they get an even bigger card, the pretender will disguise their jealousy but a lot of it, is you can read it from their body language and eyes.
Pretenders will pretend to be the victim when they are being told about what they are doing is wrong, by saying how they have missed out, when a real person will take it on board, address it and apologise. When pretenders see someone being cross at someone else, they will intervene and usually take the person having a go and someone, side to then feel superior because that person that is being shouted out, is less of a person then that pretender and they get off on someone who is being told they aren’t good enough, and pretenders love seeing people fail.
I have had those feelings, but I have stopped them because I never want to be a pretender but be real.
I have been a lot about the POSITIIVITY AND CHANGE YOUR MINDSET but what should you be grateful for when nothing sees to be going your way?
Lets cut to the chase. You will always gonna have shit days. I know it hits me but that is it in a nutshell, and I suppose the question next is, Well whats the point of wanting to change my life then?
It is looking at the things that bring you joy like Marie Kondo says, and is like a plaster of life. He is what you can do to make it better to be grateful of friends and the outside world.
Well its do you want more better days rather than those days where you wish you could start again? #letssayittogether YES!
This blog is Sponsered by Mind.org who do wonderful work with people who want to change their life and support them with #mentalhealth and help get their life on track.
You can never control certain days and events that happen, like someone in the family getting sick and as parent do clean up pooh explosions, but we can make it better by giving ourselves time to view, address and reflect, and doing something like Self Care, which includes self development. This lighting a scented candel with a scent you love, with some chill out music.
Have an unplanned meal. Meal plans are good as I used to do this, but it is good to have a free choice meal day, for example and you do something not planned making meal time, even if the most of the day has been bad, good in the end.
This is where keeping a journal is good as this helps to view, address and reflect on those days and how you can learn from those days whenever they happen.
We can not control when a child or the whole family get sick all in one go, however much you sanitize and keep bad bacteria at bay, but will have a movie on or all go to bed early some days. Whenever I had a bad day when I was with him, I would go to bed when he did and often watch TV in bed together.
When I did this I would feel a lot better the next day and the thought “Well I got through that day and did I die?”, if you are reading this email after a bad day, then the answer is NO.
Set a date with yourself to take time out doing something different if you don’t often get to go out on your own. This can be meeting and going for a coffee with friend for lunch or going out in the evening, there is a drink with my name of on it mode, and go for that end of the week drink.
I loved it one time when on Fridays I would work up London, after a long week go to a bar afterwards and dance, sing on Karoake and paint the town red.
When the theatres open again, go and see a show, I love doing this, even if it is once or twice a year, even if it is a outdoor show, go and see it. Book that show, book a meal and take yourself out of the normal rushing week, and enjoy. I love seeing shows and I would recommend the Tina Turner Story show, Bat out of Hell and Chicago. I would go see these again, and even seen the stage show of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Soon I will be working on some shows too in London at my favourite venues, Live at the Apollo and at the London Palladium and Hard Rock calling.
Remember those days where it is not going our way, that they won’t last long and there are still good days on the horizon. They always pass and take time to exhale and be with yourself to gather your thoughts and set a date to have a TV evening. I would often do this, Saturdays were mine as a kid and would watch endless shows, and Sundays would be seeing our friends in Fulham and Chelsea. It is good to see different; people some weeks, as we often just need a change of scene.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: Please check out my Pinterest page and remember to follow if you would like to read more:
I am going to do a series of posts which will have a free printable so you can start creating a Happiness Journal either by printing it out in A5 for a filofax, to stick into a notebook, to develop your own EBook and to print it out in A4 aswell, as you may want to attach them to a vision board or a fridge. I have put together on Youtube two play lists, one is my Life coaching vids and another of other peoples videos that I wanted to add to my tools and information for Life Coaching to help you to have a better life and a better year.
So in this one I have a front cover sheet in A5 and A4 and a happy tracker sheet in these sizes too:
You can even create your own cover for the Happiness Journal print outs.
It is addressing anything that seems to pull you down and makes you feel unworthy or inadequate, pointless and illimunating the negativity so we can put it a place that you know its there but not going to effect you.
Check out my Playlist of my Life Coaching Videos and others I have saved that can help you, that have helped me too.
Happiness was said to not be reachable and it is impossible to be happy, but I disagree, everyone wants to be happy. Some may go about it the wrong way, but that is what us humans always want.
So keep following me and if you think my blogs on this site will also help a friend or relative that you know then please give us a shout out.
Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:
Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.
They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.
These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.
What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.
When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.
If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.
People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.
So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.
Hello and welcome! It is Monday late afternoon and I have Monday video for you to share, and this in video I talk about Events you can’t control and the things you can.
It is all about how you see things. When I have a traumatic event in my life that I couldn’t control I would automatically shut down to spend time coming to terms with and then give myself time to move on. For me it is gradual process, but what I have done that has always been the one thing that has helped me gain perspective, as that is the key, is to journal and then say, “Okay so where do i want to go now and how will I go about giving myself peace in addressing this event, so it doesn’t hurt me any more?”.
Life is about building and rebuilding as certain events we can’t control like COVID, comes into our life to turn it upside down, so it has meant that many having to work at home whilst the kids are shouting and screaming, being off school and then having to be the teacher aswell as the parent. Some people can easily adjust to this when others are left with thinking “Where do i start?”
For me it was “Okay, I will in this time spend that amount of time with Henry, so in the morning and then this amount of time to do work”. You find a way and for me it meant working and using the evenings, weekends when he would be looked after by someone else to have a break, and it is “Take one step at a time”.
Never rush in, but say “How can I deal with this and make it pain free?” So use some of the time to all of you in the family including your kids create a family meal. I do believe that Cookery should be bought back into schools, having your kids organize the grocery shopping for a change. If we aren’t have a load of picnic’s in the park, why not have one in the garden.
As I see it “You find a way of making it easy” and follow the day.
So, more blogs to come and have a good rest of the week.
many thanks for watching my videos and reading this blog,
Hello and welcome! Watching Prince Philips Funeral it made me see that he wasn’t just a father, Prince and a husband, he was also a Mentor, and that is a role that can stem from experience and helping kids not make mistakes that he did as a young man and boy.
To be a Mentor you have to be approachable and give support to those who want you to use your experience and knowledge for them and give guidance. The Duke of Edinburgh would lead the troops and the foot shoulders to help protect him, the Queen his wife and his family and yes he did come from a priviledged back ground, but never forgot those who didn’t and this is why he created the Duke of Edinburgh Award.
It is good to teach kids life skills that will help them in the future and even fello adults, as we are always learning, and it can be as simple as teaching someone who to create a C.V, practice Job Interview skills and do odd jobs.
Many kids when I was growing up helped the local milkman who came round our estate, would do a paper round, like I did at Sunday school did Community work, by picking up rubbish and at my Secondary School I did a Community Sports Leader Award, which was a very good qualification I did and it is basically putting together a sports programme or session for kids.
There are Mentoring Schemes in the UK that you can do, and they are run by local non-profit organisations and it can be like my Aunty Min used to do, and that is Dog Walking.
Having a Dad who was a Window Cleaner was very handy and an Uncle who was a Postman, and we had a friend who was a Carpet fitter, work for the local cleansing departments in London, as we will always need people doing these jobs.
Never underestimate those industries as it does mean working very early in the morning, but what they do is discipline you and get your structured so if in the end you want to teach others to do these jobs and use it to work for yourself, like Window Cleaning you can.
People like Mentors as they are usually normal folk who want to help others into work and have a purpose in life.
So if you have Skill to share why not do so as they can be valuable lessons and can help ground and build for a wonderful future.
So I have had many Bestfriends, one being my longlasting Friend Hayley and we grew up with eachother as babies and adulthood and our boys, her eldiest was born close to my son Henry, and even though we development different friendships and started to do our own thing, we have always known that eachother are there.
One of my bestfriends in Peabody, who was a sister to me, a girl named Kelly, we would spend days outside on her block having a way of a time, looking after her sibling, her sister and we again drifted appart, but it did kind of give me a sense of worth having a bestfriend. She knew that I was still around and the same that I knew she was, but was attacked by another girl on the estate when we lived, and I was in the same fascinaty when it happened, but I had know idea it was her, but she ended up being brain damaged, and I have never seen her again. I was sad, when I found out she was now in hospital hanging on to life.
It has been discovered that bestfriends can really help in terms of Depression, worry and Anxiety, it can make us feel secure in some way, that there is at least, when you may have many people against you, someone on your side and someone who doesn’t judge or interrupt, but listens, and you can talk about anything and everything.
Back before the internet it was the norm back when I was a kid to play on the streets in the Estate, and it did have value in my life, as we learned to get on with other children and form friends. It was natural source of happiness having friends to ask if they wanted to “Play out” and we would with our bikes, Rollerskates and pushchairs. playout all day long sometimes.
A Bestfriend for me was a good foundation, and it gave me comfort just knowing even if we didn’t see eachother all the time, that they were there as said and going to concerts together, playing Top Of The Pops where we would take turns in singing songs in the charts and doing pretend play again where sometimes we were school teachers, talking in the staff room, in each of our bedrooms and my friend Hayley and I would plan what we were gonna play when she next played and stayed over in my flat and the same when I stayed with her.
Having holidays together, cause you are sharing the memories of them with a bestfriend and its good for the soul to have someone who you have things in common with. So for me yes I think having bestfriend is good for the health as me and my friend Hayley would run up to eachother when we saw one another and played what seemed forever and we were planning one time, that we would live together and have a bedroom just for our Barbies.
So, I shout and gonna campaign to have a Bestfriends day or week to celebrate the Bestfriends we have had in our lives cause they great for the Soul, the mind and makes you physically alive to as you are talking nonstop not feeling awkward or self consciuous but comfortable and content.
So, in this Weekly blog post, I am sharing some tips on Building Success from easter to Autumn. If you would like to checkout my new EBooks then please go to: Amazon.com and look under the name Carrie Lee Holmes.
So my first Tip# Is to go through you calendar of important dates. Go through birthdays and anniversaries, and how you can use them in your work or work around them. If there are birthdays or anniversaries that you can’t attend, of who may have sent out invitations to you, but still send them a message via social media or a card still. If you need like I do to shut yourself away to work on an online course or a book, do it, and set a date for yourself and many do a Writing Retreat.
Tip 2# Go through the summer months of taking your work outside, and make your work more personal to the people you are trying to attract. People like those who create products that solves a problem in everyday things, like, How to save money on energy in the home that you can save for your business.
I am all for working and saving at the sametime and that is now, why I am financially secure, because I have created a passive income with solid income and that means having weeks where I will work Rock solid and then take time out. Those who are earning a lot of money, know it when they no longer have to work everyday or can take it easy and can have more holidays. I know with Lockdown it has not been possible, but I do have some holidays booked and really looking forward to them
Tip 3# Use Easter to separate your work and finance as a new quarter, so like from Jan to March is one quarter, April to July or June the second and July to September is the third and October to December the last quarter. Honestly, it makes work so much easier.
I was someone who worked month to month at one time, but it never worked for me, and I have set goals for this month April 2021, but I have done it so I can work through them, through the other months.
Tip 4# Don’t jam pack your day with loads of meetings and tasks. I like to spread things out in the week, and would book meetings in the morning so I have my afternoons and evenings, to myself to do whatever I choose. I do have a day in the week where I don’t write blogs to go live or post any at all, and that is Sunday.
So go through your week and things you may have already booked and, then see where there is space to have an Admin day, a no meeting day or a day of doing research.
Rip 5# Use the sunmmer holidays as the time to plan the next quarters and keep setting goals. A lot of people think goal setting should be at the beginning of the year, but plan them all year round.
Hello and this is my weekly Monday post I like to do, and I have created a video talking about the 21 day challenges I set and now doing a 7 day challenge. So check it out and why not give them a try.
Hello and welcome! So in this weeks Monday post I am talking about 10 Ways of Creating a Life to remember.
To do that I what want to go through the things you still love in your life. Now when doing this be really true to yourself and don’t say it because you feel it is the right thing to say, but that is a true feeling inside of you, that you want those things still in your life.
It is more or less A DECLUTTER OF LIFE!
So where to begin,
I would write down people first, and I have made a Promise to myself to not allow Toxic people in my life anymore and if they want to be like it let them, I just don’t want them around me, as they are Toxic for a reason.
Then declutter the memories of those people, and take pictures of the true people in your life, so your memory focuses on those and not ones of those that bought you down in your passed
Then go through your possessions, and be Ruthless about it. I have a written a new EBook called Spice Up Your Life, and in it I talk about being Ruthless, and should be up tomorrow on Amazon.com under the name Carrie Lee Holmes
Create a Wall Full of Happiness, where you have all the people who you love and in a place you can spend 5 to 10 minutes looking at, and why not in your bedroom or hallway you walk through a lot, and with a cup of coffee in your hand, look at it, before you begin your day
Make some personalised items of your favourite photos and create a display of those things, but if you buy a mug for example you can use it in a functional way too, by using it as a Pen holder, but I would prefer to use it for a Coffee to be honest
Develop a story of your life so far, by creating a photo book and of places you love travelling to and have a travel journal. Or the same as with the Happiness Wall, have a Wellbeing Gallery on a wall in your home
Why not have your own Wall of Fame, and pictures of when you went on girl holidays and where you met the love of your life. It does feel good to be in love again, I think I need a bucket of cold water, but is that gonna stop me being in love? NO WAY!
Why not learn a new skill and document it as you learn, by keepiing a journal and pictures
Have your own desiginer clothes range or a series of self published books, as it can lead to so many opportunities
Develop a programme full of possibility and hope, by doing rituals and new habits that will drive you through a better and successful life
Everyone can build a castle 