It has taken a long time to learn about myself, and who wanted to be. There are days that I still ask myself this question, when things get challenging. For me it is the girl who loves to save, being a mum that sets a good example and play my part in helping others, and looking after those I love and inspire others to become who they want to be.
I want my life to continue to grow, and want my life to be spending time with my son, watching him grow and support him, so he becomes who he wants to be. When I feel I am being negative, I remind myself that my life is good, and it is up to me to make a difference to my life and like those people have done that for me, and lead me to helping others. My community.
You have to get to grips with of what is really important to you and who. Who makes you feel good about yourself and will give you full support in living the life you want and let your happiness grow.
I like others dreamed of being rich, but now I want to continue to build a writing community and write more books, that touch on real issues, and entertain people through writing and filming videos. I have three Youtube channels, which you can check out via these links:
I want to continue to teach my son and what he has taught me, and go on more walks and explore different places. You don’t have to be rich to do that, but be happy with life for all the wonderful things life gives, not allow setbacks bring you down, and others who may be against you.
Not everyone will like you, and think what you are doing is wrong, but you have to continue on regardless, and allow the critters to make you even more driven to be who you want.
So, it is coming to the end of 2023, and so lets get ready to say goodbye Saying Goodbye to 2023 and kick start 2024. Check out this printable:
Just to let you know I write a daily blog now, that I did before and then took a break, but wanted to get back into posting on that blog site, because I enjoy it and sharing many things. Here is a link: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/
A picture I took from this weekend as I write this book, and visited Wimbledon Common on a Winter walk
If you didn’t know I have uploaded a new Newsletter so here is the link to that: November Newsletter 2023 I post one each month, and so check it out.
So getting from A to B. We spend a lot of time rushing around, travelling to different places and means dealing with delays on transport, the weather and errands you can’t avoid like getting ready for the different seasons, and Christmas can be so stressful that can make us become humbugs. Then there is dealing with emails, appointments and getting ready, if you have Children ready for school. So getting to A to B in life can come with many hurdles.
We will face challenges in our lives, and there is no avoiding them. Getting through childhood I found was hard, because I did find it hard to make friends and get to grips with things that happened, through childhood, like people dying, I didn’t understand life and death, and feared it for a while. I would live in a daydream a lot, and wished I spent more time taking it all in, and appreciated the things we did, like the weekends, where I’d played at my nans houses, did dancing lessons, whilst my brother played football. This was each weekend at a local recreation ground. We would spend time in pubs and all I wanted to do was go back home, and when those times stopped I really missed them. Those days were great and would be around lots of people that made me laugh and this was before the internet and social media and would go on some really good fun holidays. We’d go round to peoples homes, and stayed over, or they came round to us, and would squabble, trying to torment my brother a lot, and we’d have toy fights and would go to birthday parties and Christenings and it was such a brilliant time, and thanks to social media I have got back in touch with people, from those times and thankful for that.
When it comes to school and doing homework I couldn’t wait to those days to be over. Thinking and understanding my life, I actually did alright, and writing that, its the first time I felt that it was okay, and it was only the food at school that was bad, thinking about Primary School. Going on day trips, and spending time with friends and make the most of what we had in the UK, being British. It was my confidence that affected me, and feeling like I was climbing up a mountain and not making it up to the top, unless it came to playing sports or dancing, and because I would do badly in tests and remember dreading Secondary School, being so different to primary school.
I did go on to the sixth form year of my school, and felt I had a good level of freedom, but to be honest I had enough of education, and then started working, and I did write a blog about how I found work life, was good for me, and my knowledge of the world thrived and enjoyed the working environment and started going out around London, and on the first full time job, was taken from London to Lille on The Euro star and, parts I found hard, it wasn’t always great, but loved the fact I was earning my own money and forming relationships that was fun, and I am so glad I had that time to just enjoy my teens and early twenties.
It is important to enjoy the early years and when it comes to Christrmas, to embrace the people you love in your life and not worrying about it being better than the last, which I often have felt, because life isn’t a competition, and getting rid of resentment and begruding each other success, is important, because that is only going to flare other negative emotions and can lead you being alone. Pay each other compliments and really listening to people and celebrate each others achievements and how they are building their life.
Live life together and stop knocking it down.
If you feel your life is going backwards then Reset, and Relfect. This is where keeping a journal helps, going through things that you feel is causing you to have these feelings. That is what they are, feelings that can be controlled. This is where my Autumn Reset can help, and help finish tasks, to then start a fresh, and I will go through my lists and set a plan to get things finished, making sure I leave time to have some fun. Weekends I spend with my son, having plenty of exercise, watching TV I don’t always get to watch, in the week and just having time to hug, kiss and take in every minute. Life can be tiring, and it okay to be tired, we are all human, and that we spend time having a nice hot bath, read a book, doing some retail therapy, and not to be buy clothes but food we love to eat, stuff to decoarate our homes with and buying new things for our kids and bringing smiles to everyone in your life, faces.
Getting to A to B in life shapes you, depending on the paths you have chosen and if things haven’t worked out, brush yourself off and carry on.
Life is terbulent and you made the wrong decision. How do you make it right, and can I get back on my feet? I had terrible anxiety at one time over an event that I thought was happening, when it wasn’t and then thought I was being followed and kept having fears that others were being hurt and I was frightened, and that other things were going on, and I hit rock bottom.
I was scared about my son going to school, and went into hospital and it really helped me. Life was getting too much, and going into hospital finally helped get over it. I am now back on my feet, Making sense of my life and concentrated on looking after my son, writing and getting an income again and get back out in the world and put it all behind me.
You have to move on. It takes time, and just making changes just one change, can really help you to move on and be happy and content, and become resillient and aware of triggers that an cause the anxiety and not feeling in fear and thinking terrible things were going on.
I was very depressed. I felt like the world was against me and was thinking things that wasn’t true and with help of my family, I found myself again and now I am in full recovery, I am no longer having home help, which I received by the Surrey Crissis Intervention team and then Merton Mental Health Intervention team and I am still on medication, but I no longer have to visit every two weeks or so and am back in reality and been doing courses, published another book, Mum&Me on amazon, and been looking for outside work, in healthcare and Childcare and exercising too.
My son and I spend time travelling on trains and walking. I back doing Youtube weekly vlogs, and sit down videos talking about managing my money, and have an educational channel too.
Anyway to get back your feet, live for the now and each day. I don’t want you think that I am boasting, about getting over my Mental Health problems, just showing how I got back on my feet, and this was by making sure I went to my regular hospital appointments and taking their advice, and concerntrating on the things that give me joy and understanding mental health, and using techniques given to me, to help me manage my mind and look after my wellbeing, so I don’t feel scared and that it happened, but now is over, and using what happened, to help me feel stronger than ever, and focusing on the good things I have in my life.
I want to learn about the mind, that I don’t already know and help others to rebuild their life and helping other parents, with understanding a childs mind and new interventions, and trying methods to continue to build my own wellbeing and learn using the free tools given to me, to help stop me from going back down that road. One was traffic light system, so green where it is steady and your in control of your thoughts and feelings, amber that you are in between feeling good or bad and red that you are back to having dark thoughts, following a pattern of negative behaviour and feeling low and scared again.
This is just an example. When it comes to Mental Health, it is unique for each person, but it is following good habits and educating yourself on how to manage your thoughts and feelings, It can really help you get back on your feet. Also learning not to panic and be calm if for example, my fear of losing stuff and just concentrate on finding it and having people help you and not allowing it to affect your wellbeing to take action to find what you have lost and not have sleepness nights.
I am no longer dreading each day, but look forward to what the day will bring, and keeping myself busy and enjoying my days going out and to different environments. Last weekend it was my mums birthday lunch which was a surprise and got to see my cousins again, and friends. It didn’t go smoothly, due to traffic problems and good to have a meal and catchup and would like to do that again, and was good to see those that I don’t always see because my family live in various places and so it is hard to get my whole family together, but seeing those not seen for a long time, reminded me how I have missed those times and enjoyed it, and seeing different faces and visiting new places can help, when it comes to your wellbeing and plan your days so you can have a good day without living in fear of life.
So, first of all:
Get help
Take action by making step by step changes and habits
Learning the triggers that can make you relapse and get support
Change your habits and get back into doing things you enjoy and make you feel happy about life
Get outdoors and meet up with friends and family
Ecucate and learn about your mind and share your story if you feel comfortable to help others and build a community to support each other and get back on your feet
So it is the end of another weekend and trying to get a Vlog ready to upload and its not happening, so gonna worry about it for another day.
The weekends are about spending time with my son and see other family which we did today, and played a new Dominoes game and a card game and was such good fun. I love my weekends and having that extra rest and go for a coffee out and just having that break ending the week and starting it, and as a kid I never always appreciated them, but we were always out when I was kid, seeing friends and family, and just different from the week,and they were such fun times and miss that.
I still get stuff done, by putting some laundry on, putting clothes away that are clean and not been put away, and use my Sunday evenings to plan for the week and plan my writing for the week and just setting myself up to have a good week and ready for any challenges that may occur, and always thinking about an alternative solutions if the trains aren’t operating properly and if there are delays. If appointments have been changed, and recharge my batteries so I can function well for the week ahead.
Saturday we went out. My son’s swimming lesson was cancelled and we were going to watch my brothers team play rugby, but got called off, so jumped on a couple of buses and went to Putney, and took my son into the park, walked along the river and had a really nice meal out, and such a nice weekend.
There were other people doing the same and forgetting their normal routine and just living life, socialising and chatting, and living.
So make the most of your weekend so it doesn’t feel you haven’t done anything and take the time off, and live. Spend the time meeting friends and seeing family, go for a walk and meet someone for a coffee or go out, making sure you stay safe, but live it and live for the moment. On my way home from seeing my brother and his wife, and kids I started to go through emails, and then I sat back and stopped and said to myself “Stop and sit and just enjoy the ride”, not looking on Instagram, emails or Youtube and just enjoy, and it felt so good, So have that time to take in what is around you, and give yourself that time to do what you want and let yourself be free of rushing around.
Just to let you know I did uploaded my week in a life on my main Youtube channel, so check it out: https://youtu.be/-7vRdXxHPuQ
Its days when it is really hot outside where I want to not bother in getting my to do lists done. It is good to see the sun shining and have been out today, but today I have had to really make the effort, so my deal I made with myself was to get a video uploaded and then I can have another coffee, and I do this on days I go for a walk and build my steps. Sitting out in the garden is good, and like to do a bit of writing and reading a book, but there bits i need to do on my laptop but when it is piping hot then can cause it too overheat, and I not so good with heat.
The hardest thing for me is getting out of bed. If you have heard of Mel Robbins, she has talked about this too in her videos and podcast and was how she developed the 5 Second Rule.
I don’t believe in forcing myself, because that can lead to not wanting to do anything and if that is the case, I take a break. It is important to take some time out and sit in the sun, but if you have things that need to be done, then do it. I will say right, I will edit another chapter of my book and then I can watch another Youtube video and if I do a workout then I can have that Dr Pepper or a bit of chocolate if I get the craving.
I won’t always do this with food, because this can lead to over eating and it is important to not use it to eat too much sugary food and other bad foods, but not refusing either as it can make me want it even more, and I like to work towards my meals each day, and have that one biscuit with my tea, but also if I want a bubble bath or a glass of wine or watch some TV.
If I want to buy another item of clothing I will get rid of an item of clothing that I no longer wear and doing a declutter during the Summer Holidays made me realise I do not need any more clothes and doing a reset soon when I do my Autumn Reset. More details of this coming soon.
I did a video about using what I have and made a deal that if I use up what I have got then I can buy more, and if it doesn’t get used and give it a year, then it goes. This may not worked for everyone, but works in with me and how I control my spending, how I continue good habits and how I achieve my goals that I set each day, month and year and quarterly, and 5 years.
So if you find you can’t be bothered then make a deal with yourself because its the result that will help me in feeling good and not wasted time by doing nothing.
My mental state was bad and it has taken me a lot to get my life back on track, but planning is always the one thing that gets me through it. I like planning my days and focusing on having a good day, whatever has tried not knock me off the path I have been going through, to be fully recovered. I did a video talking about a couple of days ago, when I went to pick up my prescription and bought a cold coffee, only to drop it as I was running for the bus back, check out my video here: https://youtu.be/L_bU-FKqtOQ and so not everything goes to plan, but I still got my prescription and I still made it back indoors to record the video above, talking about Using what you’ve got .
When unplanned events happen, it can take a while to get over and I believe in, allowing yourself to grieve and take time in coming to terms that sometimes you have to start again, to continue to grow as a human being, and that is exactly what I have had to do.
I started to get back on my feet by spending time away from my friends and family, and was helped with getting my life together, by having an income again and being reunited with, family and my son, and able to see him off to school and back. Getting in contact with friends via social media, and now looking to be connected to others again, as I do miss going out with friends and family again.
Never plan too big at first, and focus on one or two things, at a time. I began to Understand the condition I had and learned about the triggers, should I feel like I am having relapse, and learning about different mental health conditions. I did this by doing some free courses, and they have helped me, with these blogs, because I love to learn and educate myself. It is a great way to rebuild your life. I did some painting which I haven’t done in years and started walking again. Walking small distances, and exploring new places, getting back into writing books, and exercise is good for recovery as it does give you, good energy and it helps me to listen to my body that can help with my mind, by retuning positive feelings.
Healing relationships by forgiving and forgetting, and addressing the causes. Make a plan to see your friends again and spend time with family, and have them help you in recovery, You don’t have to go through recovery on your own.
Having a good sort out on things that you want to let go off and make plan to do this. Again get help. My mum helped me when I came out of hospital, and recently done a declutter, and doing this regularly can help the feelings of being overcrowded with stuff.
I am in a good place now and feel like my life is taking shape. There are still so much I wish to do, but taking it one step at a time.
Remember I do have books available on happiness and wellnesses, along with fictional books. You can find these on amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
When we feel low it often feels like we are falling down a hole and that there is nothing to enjoy and feel like hiding away. Start by going through your home that gives you comfort. For me right now I love sitting in front of my desk, listening to a video and writing this blog. I love sharing and helping you, and since I began this blog so much of my life has changed.
I am not going to force you to be thankful, because I have no knowledge of your life, but give tips, and so when I began to change my life, was when I had put on loads of weight and took up running. It was tough and I could have easily given up. I kept going, and went running along he seafront early in the morning so noone would see me, and with each run, my feelings towards my life, got better.
Now I enjoy walking, and I discovered my love from walking through running and so began to be thankful I had legs that can run or walk. You may be different, but finding a skill you didn’t know you had, can change that, and will help you to be thankful and there is a reason you are still here, and developing new relationships and visiting new places.
Moving away from home and following dreams to work in a holiday camp, I started to question my decision on deciding to do this, and was home sick for the first 3 weeks, but as I kept on getting used to living and working there, I began to enjoy being away and was grateful for this experience and met my husband and for while I was happy, this was before I began to feel low that I wrote about at the beginning of this blog.
There will always be bumps in the road in our life, but you can change it to be able to practice gratitude and has to begin right now, because if you are unhappy, with your life currently, it is time to make changes and enjoy life, to then be grateful.
When I became a parent I felt overwhelmed, and love my son, but felt like I had no idea of what to do, and kept feeling I was doing something wrong,, but watching him grow and becoming his own person, it has made me thankful that I am his mum and he is, my child and never thought I’d feel love like it. When he comes to have cuddles, it destroys my negative thoughts, as a parent and thankful for being able to grow this human being that I helped to create. I love at the moment playing football, with him and with his balloon. The other day we created a game with his balloon and so grateful for being able to play and create games to have fun and play.
I had really bad mental health illness, psychosis and it took me a lot to get back on my feet and recover, but with the help of my parents and mental health teams in Surrey and Merton, I am now recovered and can stand on my own two feet again, and thankful to my family and to my keyworkers, and the hospitals I stayed in, that helped me in this dark time I experienced.
So, as you build your life you will, hand on heart, start to see your life differently and who are thankful for you too.
Life is worth living! Life doesn’t have to be boring, which can be the feeling you get when you feel your life isn’t going nowhere and that this it is how it’s going to be and nothing will change.
What would you like to be doing?
Where would you like to be in your life?
What do you wish your life to looked like?
Check out this EBook I wrote about Creating a new Journey to your life. It is available in Kindle and Paperback.
Set up a plan for yourself, of making your life better. For me a reading or listening to a book a great way to get out of a rut. Learning from others who have experienced how you have felt, is a great way to get a hold on your feelings to change your life.
I found Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule really helpful and reading a book by Paul McKenna and Tony Robbins to be good. Also doing free courses on the areas I want to learn more about. I want to help support people who have mental health difficulties, from child to adulthood and going to be doing Voluntary work soon, helping Children to read and would like to do online teaching on other topics, to help others like those who feel stuck, and that they not sure how to get over the low feelings and have a better life.
Managing my finances better has made a difference for me. There is still a long way and stop spending on things I do not need and focus on what is more important to help my wellbeing, and the way I feel about my life and you can do the same, just set aside 2mins to 10mins, can really help stop the worry that money can cause and get help.
I like watching Youtube channels like, Sugar mamma TV on money, because they have really helped with managing my money. I have listened to Canna Campbell, the 1000 Project and listened to the Audio book by Grant Cardone book, Sell or to be Sold.
I also watch Jordan Page, and Kate Kaden, and really inspirational and I have a Youtube channel, dedicated to finance and how I manage my money too: https://www.youtube.com/@mywayofliving1602
It’s all about changing your mindset and not have limited beliefs. Anyone in my opinion can be successful in building happiness and a better wellbeing, but you have to change your habits and have a hold on your life and where it is going.
I do have time off Social Media, which really helps and today I spent like I try to do on other days, away from my phone and enjoying the time with my son, not worrying about checking Instagram or Facebook.
Doing something different on some days. On Wednesday I took Henry to a football match and it was great. It helped that the team we went to support won, but made a difference on our feelings that my son couldn’t wait to share with his my mum and step dad and with his dad. He was buzzing and just made a great change.
Making time to see friends and having a night out or a girls night in. With the prices increasing on things it is affording things, so just meeting up one evening a week can really help ease the stress of life and taking time out for you.
Grab the bulls by the horns, Have you heard of that? Instead of sitting back feeling that you have no life set yourself challenges. These can really open your eyes of what you are capable of and can help feeling down about life, to feeling that you want to take on the world and get back up on your feet, if you have had bumps in your life that has made you feel that you have no life.
I love starting the year on a challenge, they help set me up for the year ahead and will be doing no spending January again as I want Jan and Feb 2024 be the last payments to pay off my credit card, I want to start doing fundraising events again and start with doing 5K walking and running events, and this year I am going to do NanoRimo to write my first Christmas book and want to do editing challenge for August and September and so when i decide of how I am going to do that I will let you know.
The yearly challenges I have been doing for the summer months is walking each day and get outdoors and help get my legs strong again so I can get back into running and build my steps and I really enjoy it as it makes me feel I have more energy when I do and reading a book a month. This challenge (reading) began last year and I love it. In August I find it hard to read, because of the school holidays but I have just kept going and read so much by doing so, and read during the day where possible.
They help to stimulate the mind and look forward to getting out of bed each day and you learn so much about your self.
If you find it hard to take a challenge on your own then see if anyone will join you. When I was working at a call centre I had colleagues wanting to join me in fundraising walks and family too. It can really help boost relationships and that your in it together and egg each other on.
Start by choosing one, and it can be writing for ten minutes each day, go for an hours walk or 5 minutes declutter each day or once a week and organize a room that has been bothering you and dread seeing the mess everyday, as untidy spaces can get us down and feel stuck in a rut. There are 30 day challenges and when I began doing challenges they became addictive and did one to Instagram to post for 30 days for an entire month and I enjoy posting on Instagram as I wanted to post more frequently to build this platform along with Facebook and Twitter.
Setting challenges helps to change our habits, for example it has helped me to be more productive, feel more positive and dealing with hurdles like I am not a naturally tidy person so since challenging myself I do a tidy each morning to get it out of the way and not avoiding tasks.
Thank you so far for liking these blogs and there is more to come. Please check out my Pinterest site where you can find more of my content for my Life Coaching programme:
If you follow me on this blog you will be alerted of when I post a new blog and with challenges set targets and what you want the outcome to be.
Hello and welcome to a new blog. There has been times where I have felt I have let myself down, like when I had a chance to join the Fulham Ladies football team back in 1998, via my brother as he knew the Manager of the ladies soccer team, and I went twice and met a friend of mine from when I used to go to a dancing school, but getting myself there would take a lot and I would play images of not being good enough, not having natural skill and was way out of my comfort zone. I did play at Primary school and at Secondary, but because of hearing from one girl I played football with at school, said “Couldn’t even kick the ball” stopped playing at school. I feel that effected me when I should have ignored her and used it to show actually, I can kick a ball.
I felt bad, because my brother had gone to that effort and he bought me my own football boots, but I just couldn’t get myself there due to the movies I would play in head of feeling out numbered, and not being good enough.
This has helped me to make sure I take on opportunities as I did my Level 1 Football coaching qualification and did run a children’s football team for a while, and then I was going to do my level 2 coaching badge but once again my confidence got me and so decided not to continue.
Yet I did Manage a Football team The football team in that I was coaching was taken over my some of the boys dads, and was disappointed about that, and was going to suggest it, but when the Charmain of the club said that I can coach the next under 8’s team, and then coach a girls team they wanted to coach, I felt like, “What so because I am a woman I should be coaching women?” and left.
Anyway I found out I was pregnant and didn’t feel wise to continue, and so stopped and was good experience and did feel let down a little, because I was running the team by myself and should have had one of the parents to help manage the team, to help me. However I felt I did okay and would like to continue one day and do sports coaching again, and my aim was to coach a team from kids to teenage years, and further. This is still something I’d like to do, but it is a massive commitment and so see what the future holds.
When I worked in Contact Centre often felt like I let myself down by not getting good feedback on the telephones and I wasn’t rude, but found real tough when people would ring and complain and not knowing what to say and felt I could have done better. That’s life though we won’t always get it right but you have to get it wrong to make sure you get it right, whatever you do and life is about learning and growing.
Football teams for example like Manchester United were Champions of the Premiership, yet it took Alex Ferguson 4 years when he began managing the team that they started to win trophies and was put under enormous pressure and became unbeatable.
You know when you feel you have let yourself down, because you go through what if’s and play scenes of if I had taken up that opportunity where would I have been right now? Would I have gone on and become a professional Football coach by now? and really life is about choice and often we do choose the wrong path or it goes into a different direction, Again that is life.
Doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen, and I didn’t always get it right being a football coach but they did win games and did improve their ability, and their skills, and did get messages from parents when I left thanking me, so it wasn’t all bad and I did enjoy it, just didn’t like how it ended.
Everyone can build a castle 