So today I plan to go up to London, and as always my inner critic is like, what if there is a problem with the trains as I looked there was, but was the wrong train. Now have my coffee and feel that is all I needed to ignore that inner voice. I am going to as I get up there going to write my notes for my Youtube channel: My Way of Living.
I was going to go by bus, but means catching three buses and didn’t feel like it, but going to travel back by bus. As I vision myself travelling to London, come the thoughts of what if I run out of battery on my phone as I like to listen to something whilst travelling, but I am taking a book and now I have my coffee getting rid of the negative voice in my head, to listen to my positive voice.
I am meeting my mum for lunch and sent her a message after realizing that I was looking at the wrong train and going to be go through some forms, to apply for my son to do an after school club at his school and one is to sort out my income. I like travelling to London, and know its my anxiety talking and know that its just protecting me and I am letting it control me, rather than me controlling it.
That inner voice when I think about it is like a barrier coming down and need to say “Hey, don’t put that barrier in front of me, I know what is out there that can happen and not go as planned but what if it goes okay? and get the things I need to do, done?”
So, I am going to not allow my negative thoughts gain control and enjoy my day, and as I am writing and finishing this blog listening to a Mel Robbins Podcast, and it things like that, that I enjoy that helps me think positively: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast
Hello, yes it is a Monday again, I can’t believe that it was last week we had travelled from to and from Bognor Regis and met up with friends. It was so good to get away and not think about to do lists, and just be.
This Cheat Sheet is all about what to do when you feel overwhelmed. These Cheat Sheets are completely free and please share.
I will be sharing this on my other site The Parenting Adventures Tips and Tricks too, because as parents we can get overwhelmed and just need that time out to recharge our batteries and lift our mood and our feelings so we can just have time to ourself and not everything has to be landed on your shoulders but shared.
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My life has not been pain sailing, like us all, there has been ups and downs and when my mum or dad told me off I would be like, it was the end of the world and that I am right and they’re wrong, and so unfair, and would envy my brother, because he is super confident, and girls running after him, whilst I sat on a bench at school by myself.
I have had to really work on my self. I could get jealous, bitter and self centered, like “How have they earned that?”, “Oh they are showing off and trying to be super popular”, or like when I was a primary school, a girl named Sherie, was so popular and all the boys fancied her, and everyone wanted her company and be friends with her. I felt ugly and envious, that I will never be her, like I wished to be.
My mental health took a turned for the worst, and battled with my feelings for a long time. There were times when I didn’t get out of bed, and would stay in, and now I have been discharged from the Mental Health hospital, so proud of myself that I got through my fight with my mental health and not allowing my inner critic to hold me back and stop feeling that I haven’t had a exciting life compared to others, and that the world is against me.
Here are some questions to ask,
Who do you want to be?
Do you feel unworthy and that you’ll never be as good as someone in your life?
Do you feel that noone understands you?
Writing a journal, can really help address your feelings and what is it that is really bothering you?
For me it was, well if I look like that, like Sherie, then I will be as popular and the kids would want to hang with me, but that wasn’t the case and started to form friends as I gradually went through school, but it took a long time, and would have fights and arguments and was bullied. In the end I was well respected at Primary school. It took the last year to experience that, but that I had come so far, and then wanted to start a fresh beginning, at secondary school.
The feelings didn’t disappear, and got stronger. I now look back it was once again that I wasn’t fitting in, and was told by a girl that I was boring, because I was a fan of a TV show The Bill, and would talk about it a lot, and took it, and glad for her honesty and yes it hurt my feelings, but then she wasn’t perfect and would get on people’s nerves, yet we did have fun together, so I let it go.
With those group of friends, they would be into wrestling and one of my friends did canoeing, and shared our love of music. They were the ones who got me into following a rugby team and when I felt like I couldn’t buy chips in McDonalds they got them for me, and introduced me to rock music and went to concerts together, and made friends at my dancing school, and my confidence began to increase.
I have been unkind, and blocked people, because I was feeling excluded and it really was affecting me, because felt it was a personal attack. Now though I glad that they have done well in their life and now in jobs that are high powered, and looking after themselves.
Our negative feelings can rub off on others. I have been with people who would constantly be complaining. I am lucky for having the people around me that keep the roof over my head and support me in looking after my son, and at the weekend I met up with friends who I met when I was working at a holiday camp, and felt so privileged to be in their company as we had a good catch up, and that we all, trying to build our lives and be happy. I can be awkward and shy still but when you meet people, and makes you feel that you’ve never been apart, the fear instantly goes, your inner critic gets pushed away making you feel that you are worthy and people love you, and stop putting your guard up, and not allow your fears get the better of you, but make you grow and be the person you wished to be, and telling people that you love them, can help you and them. There are a lot of people I love, because they have been a huge importance to my life, and been a great influence. I am kind, I will be on time, and I will make the effort.
When you have been through trauma, it can make you angry, and “Why me?”, “What have I done to deserve it?” and often its nothing, its life, it can be unpredictable. Noone knows what is around the corner for us, and so, talking about growing our happiness, ask yourself, do you want to be unhappy all through your life? I have had to rebuild, and make sense of situations, but often there isn’t an answer. I no longer want my inner critic stop me from going swimming and going for walks, from spending time with my son, and go for opportunities, that can open many doors for me. I no longer want to be counting calories, and worrying about my weight. If biscuits are going to make me feel guilty, then I am not going to eat them, if someone doesn’t say thank you when you open the door for them, because what’s the point, they don’t care and not allow me to have a bad day, but continue to be kind and not allow their ignorance to rub off.
So lets all work together in building and growing our lives, its never too late to be happy and grow your feelings, to feel better about yourself. I do write a blog where I talk about building confidence. Check it out via this link: https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/
First of all welcome new subscribers, it really means the world to me. I now back writing daily blogs, and so check out this post I wrote today. https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/
In this Cheat Sheet, which I free to print and download, I am sharing tips on What to take away From Each week:
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I think it is natural to think the worst, because from experience, think if I don’t worry than I worry if things go wrong and that I let the world down, because I wasn’t prepared. Our feelings can be so strong that we fear stepping another foot forward.
Life can be full of setbacks and things we come across that can knock us off, on our path for the life we want, but not allowing these to get us down and gain control so whatever happens we resilient to set backs.
I was working for a Kids Holiday Club a few years ago and it was tough and the day the Team Manager wasn’t there I was left in charge but my anxiety rose and thankfully the other girl, I asked for her to take charge instead. I felt so stupid, and getting excited of the opportunity I had really failed and that I was useless and there was a lot to do and in the end I didn’t continue with it.
To be fare it wasn’t a very good set up because it was two three playworkers with 15 children which wasn’t for health and safety perspective good and thought there would be more playworkers and more structure. A toilet ended up getting flooded, two brothers were fighting non stop and in the end the company stopped running and so I learned that if I do this again, to find out first if there will be more staff and the ratio of children.
Now though thankfully I didn’t allow it to stop me in building my life and take a different direction and would like to work with children in a educational setting and do more training to do so, and to help children with different needs, making sure I have the right support to do so, and stop jumping in with both feet and gradually build my ambitions to continue in following my dreams.
Also I have started to cook different dinners and changing my eating habits as this is a battle. I haven’t have stopped eating crisps all the time and have cut down on eating chocolate and going for the biscuits and so going to set a plan and reflect on your set backs as it can help you to have a better habits and it could be because they are so easy to reach and eating fruit can be boring and have a lot of vegetables and not snack.
I never want to have type 2 diabetes again and have a more balanced diet so have started planning meals again and still have the food I like but no snacking. I have had a eating disorder and so what to stop fighting over my eating habits but have new habits of having healthier breakfasts, nice lunches and dinners.
I am going to have breakfast later as I am not always that hungry in the mornings and continue my habits such making my bed when I get up, get dressed, get my so ready for school and taking my supplements and other medication I have to take and not battle with my eating habits, as it is tiring. Planning is the key and have been very good and continue to exercise to help be fitter and continue going swimming which I have begun to do again and training indoors.
I didn’t realise I had a Journal APP in my phone and been entering it everyday, and fill it in on want it is concerning me and address my feelings. I still like to write, but find it hard to stick too so now I got this APP makes me make sure I use my Journal APP each day, and use what ever to make things simple and easy access. Reading Atomic Habits has really helped me structure my life and not spend so long on one thing, but break it down and use what is easy access.
So as it is Sunday finishing this blog, going to catch up on Youtube and get ready for the new week ahead. I do vlogs so if you’d like to see these check out my Channel via this link: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal
You have to make the right choices for you. It means saying no, but finding what is right, and if it doesn’t then that is fine. Saying yes because you feel obliged to, is not making the right choice, because you are not doing it for you and if it is going to stress you out and fill you with dread, then means you have to change it and go down a different path. This doesn’t mean you won’t succeed it just there can be many roads to take to reach the things you want to do in your life.
If it is not for you, then it is not for you. Not everything is going to workout, and if someone says no to you, then that is okay too. Trust yourself in making the right decision, journal or talk to someone who can help you, and reflect on why on this occasion something has not worked out, or doesn’t feel right.
Dip your toe in. Test it out. Research and try it out. There is no harm in giving things a go, before you make your mind up. I remember when I was first looking for work, just leaving school and was interested in working in fitness, and was offered work experience for the day, to see how it felt and it wasn’t for me at that time and wanted to work in a football club, and was successful, and worked at a local football club as a steward and did work experience too helping the Groundsman and then found my office job whilst doing that in London.
I did some football training, with the Fulham ladies and it was only a few sessions, and made me decide that I wanted to coach, and gain experience. I was a little regretful as my confidence really affected me in going, but I am glad I still gave it a try. Twenty or so years later I did an FA qualification whilst working in a call center and got to manage my own team, and learned from it, so it still taught me a lot and now we are in 2024 going to “Grow” which is my word for this year. It was progression but grow fits better and get another book published, do more training and looking for work outside and continue to grow as a writer, and have a lot of great things planned and it is planning that can help decide on where you want to go next in your life that will boost your feelings and raise your happiness, to not allow times when it didn’t workout, affect you, in following your dreams.
I always wanted to write a book, and as a kid I liked writing, but stopped and now found my love again, in writing and now written 5 books, which are on amazon my most recent being a comedy called Mum&Me. I now am writing three books, a book called When Mothers Are Real and Behind the eyes of the other woman, and Mum&Me book 2, and it was by watching TV that I discovered self publishing, and I really enjoy it, and now looking to work outside, and finish my courses I have enrolled on, to help build my knowledge and understanding of the human mind, and children and young people by educating myself, to help grow my blogs and books, to help you my audience, to find happiness and live a life they love.
Listening to the right people, who can give you the right support you need can make all the difference, and there are many ways to train and learn, without it being too much and if it is affordable. Last year via a careers service received some free training and I want to learn more interventions, to help people and getting to know the mind.
Our minds are constant running machines and it can either work for you or against and want to learn about how to, being a mum for example communicate more affecting to my son who had ADHD and is on the Autism Spectrum. Why we can be positive one minute and down the next.
Reading books about topics you want to learn more about, can be really helpful. I am currently on Audible listening to Atomic Habits and want the physical book, I have read to help me with my writing, Save the Cats Write a Novel and again want the physical book because I felt it helped and continue to learn as a writer, and want to do more writing courses.
So, never stop believing in yourself and trust your gut instinct. If you say no that is fine. It is all about what makes us happy, and lowering the expectation we set for ourselves.
It has taken a long time to learn about myself, and who wanted to be. There are days that I still ask myself this question, when things get challenging. For me it is the girl who loves to save, being a mum that sets a good example and play my part in helping others, and looking after those I love and inspire others to become who they want to be.
I want my life to continue to grow, and want my life to be spending time with my son, watching him grow and support him, so he becomes who he wants to be. When I feel I am being negative, I remind myself that my life is good, and it is up to me to make a difference to my life and like those people have done that for me, and lead me to helping others. My community.
You have to get to grips with of what is really important to you and who. Who makes you feel good about yourself and will give you full support in living the life you want and let your happiness grow.
I like others dreamed of being rich, but now I want to continue to build a writing community and write more books, that touch on real issues, and entertain people through writing and filming videos. I have three Youtube channels, which you can check out via these links:
I want to continue to teach my son and what he has taught me, and go on more walks and explore different places. You don’t have to be rich to do that, but be happy with life for all the wonderful things life gives, not allow setbacks bring you down, and others who may be against you.
Not everyone will like you, and think what you are doing is wrong, but you have to continue on regardless, and allow the critters to make you even more driven to be who you want.
So, it is coming to the end of 2023, and so lets get ready to say goodbye Saying Goodbye to 2023 and kick start 2024. Check out this printable:
Just to let you know I write a daily blog now, that I did before and then took a break, but wanted to get back into posting on that blog site, because I enjoy it and sharing many things. Here is a link: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/
A picture I took from this weekend as I write this book, and visited Wimbledon Common on a Winter walk
If you didn’t know I have uploaded a new Newsletter so here is the link to that: November Newsletter 2023 I post one each month, and so check it out.
So getting from A to B. We spend a lot of time rushing around, travelling to different places and means dealing with delays on transport, the weather and errands you can’t avoid like getting ready for the different seasons, and Christmas can be so stressful that can make us become humbugs. Then there is dealing with emails, appointments and getting ready, if you have Children ready for school. So getting to A to B in life can come with many hurdles.
We will face challenges in our lives, and there is no avoiding them. Getting through childhood I found was hard, because I did find it hard to make friends and get to grips with things that happened, through childhood, like people dying, I didn’t understand life and death, and feared it for a while. I would live in a daydream a lot, and wished I spent more time taking it all in, and appreciated the things we did, like the weekends, where I’d played at my nans houses, did dancing lessons, whilst my brother played football. This was each weekend at a local recreation ground. We would spend time in pubs and all I wanted to do was go back home, and when those times stopped I really missed them. Those days were great and would be around lots of people that made me laugh and this was before the internet and social media and would go on some really good fun holidays. We’d go round to peoples homes, and stayed over, or they came round to us, and would squabble, trying to torment my brother a lot, and we’d have toy fights and would go to birthday parties and Christenings and it was such a brilliant time, and thanks to social media I have got back in touch with people, from those times and thankful for that.
When it comes to school and doing homework I couldn’t wait to those days to be over. Thinking and understanding my life, I actually did alright, and writing that, its the first time I felt that it was okay, and it was only the food at school that was bad, thinking about Primary School. Going on day trips, and spending time with friends and make the most of what we had in the UK, being British. It was my confidence that affected me, and feeling like I was climbing up a mountain and not making it up to the top, unless it came to playing sports or dancing, and because I would do badly in tests and remember dreading Secondary School, being so different to primary school.
I did go on to the sixth form year of my school, and felt I had a good level of freedom, but to be honest I had enough of education, and then started working, and I did write a blog about how I found work life, was good for me, and my knowledge of the world thrived and enjoyed the working environment and started going out around London, and on the first full time job, was taken from London to Lille on The Euro star and, parts I found hard, it wasn’t always great, but loved the fact I was earning my own money and forming relationships that was fun, and I am so glad I had that time to just enjoy my teens and early twenties.
It is important to enjoy the early years and when it comes to Christrmas, to embrace the people you love in your life and not worrying about it being better than the last, which I often have felt, because life isn’t a competition, and getting rid of resentment and begruding each other success, is important, because that is only going to flare other negative emotions and can lead you being alone. Pay each other compliments and really listening to people and celebrate each others achievements and how they are building their life.
Live life together and stop knocking it down.
If you feel your life is going backwards then Reset, and Relfect. This is where keeping a journal helps, going through things that you feel is causing you to have these feelings. That is what they are, feelings that can be controlled. This is where my Autumn Reset can help, and help finish tasks, to then start a fresh, and I will go through my lists and set a plan to get things finished, making sure I leave time to have some fun. Weekends I spend with my son, having plenty of exercise, watching TV I don’t always get to watch, in the week and just having time to hug, kiss and take in every minute. Life can be tiring, and it okay to be tired, we are all human, and that we spend time having a nice hot bath, read a book, doing some retail therapy, and not to be buy clothes but food we love to eat, stuff to decoarate our homes with and buying new things for our kids and bringing smiles to everyone in your life, faces.
Getting to A to B in life shapes you, depending on the paths you have chosen and if things haven’t worked out, brush yourself off and carry on.
Life is terbulent and you made the wrong decision. How do you make it right, and can I get back on my feet? I had terrible anxiety at one time over an event that I thought was happening, when it wasn’t and then thought I was being followed and kept having fears that others were being hurt and I was frightened, and that other things were going on, and I hit rock bottom.
I was scared about my son going to school, and went into hospital and it really helped me. Life was getting too much, and going into hospital finally helped get over it. I am now back on my feet, Making sense of my life and concentrated on looking after my son, writing and getting an income again and get back out in the world and put it all behind me.
You have to move on. It takes time, and just making changes just one change, can really help you to move on and be happy and content, and become resillient and aware of triggers that an cause the anxiety and not feeling in fear and thinking terrible things were going on.
I was very depressed. I felt like the world was against me and was thinking things that wasn’t true and with help of my family, I found myself again and now I am in full recovery, I am no longer having home help, which I received by the Surrey Crissis Intervention team and then Merton Mental Health Intervention team and I am still on medication, but I no longer have to visit every two weeks or so and am back in reality and been doing courses, published another book, Mum&Me on amazon, and been looking for outside work, in healthcare and Childcare and exercising too.
My son and I spend time travelling on trains and walking. I back doing Youtube weekly vlogs, and sit down videos talking about managing my money, and have an educational channel too.
Anyway to get back your feet, live for the now and each day. I don’t want you think that I am boasting, about getting over my Mental Health problems, just showing how I got back on my feet, and this was by making sure I went to my regular hospital appointments and taking their advice, and concerntrating on the things that give me joy and understanding mental health, and using techniques given to me, to help me manage my mind and look after my wellbeing, so I don’t feel scared and that it happened, but now is over, and using what happened, to help me feel stronger than ever, and focusing on the good things I have in my life.
I want to learn about the mind, that I don’t already know and help others to rebuild their life and helping other parents, with understanding a childs mind and new interventions, and trying methods to continue to build my own wellbeing and learn using the free tools given to me, to help stop me from going back down that road. One was traffic light system, so green where it is steady and your in control of your thoughts and feelings, amber that you are in between feeling good or bad and red that you are back to having dark thoughts, following a pattern of negative behaviour and feeling low and scared again.
This is just an example. When it comes to Mental Health, it is unique for each person, but it is following good habits and educating yourself on how to manage your thoughts and feelings, It can really help you get back on your feet. Also learning not to panic and be calm if for example, my fear of losing stuff and just concentrate on finding it and having people help you and not allowing it to affect your wellbeing to take action to find what you have lost and not have sleepness nights.
I am no longer dreading each day, but look forward to what the day will bring, and keeping myself busy and enjoying my days going out and to different environments. Last weekend it was my mums birthday lunch which was a surprise and got to see my cousins again, and friends. It didn’t go smoothly, due to traffic problems and good to have a meal and catchup and would like to do that again, and was good to see those that I don’t always see because my family live in various places and so it is hard to get my whole family together, but seeing those not seen for a long time, reminded me how I have missed those times and enjoyed it, and seeing different faces and visiting new places can help, when it comes to your wellbeing and plan your days so you can have a good day without living in fear of life.
So, first of all:
Get help
Take action by making step by step changes and habits
Learning the triggers that can make you relapse and get support
Change your habits and get back into doing things you enjoy and make you feel happy about life
Get outdoors and meet up with friends and family
Ecucate and learn about your mind and share your story if you feel comfortable to help others and build a community to support each other and get back on your feet
So it is the end of another weekend and trying to get a Vlog ready to upload and its not happening, so gonna worry about it for another day.
The weekends are about spending time with my son and see other family which we did today, and played a new Dominoes game and a card game and was such good fun. I love my weekends and having that extra rest and go for a coffee out and just having that break ending the week and starting it, and as a kid I never always appreciated them, but we were always out when I was kid, seeing friends and family, and just different from the week,and they were such fun times and miss that.
I still get stuff done, by putting some laundry on, putting clothes away that are clean and not been put away, and use my Sunday evenings to plan for the week and plan my writing for the week and just setting myself up to have a good week and ready for any challenges that may occur, and always thinking about an alternative solutions if the trains aren’t operating properly and if there are delays. If appointments have been changed, and recharge my batteries so I can function well for the week ahead.
Saturday we went out. My son’s swimming lesson was cancelled and we were going to watch my brothers team play rugby, but got called off, so jumped on a couple of buses and went to Putney, and took my son into the park, walked along the river and had a really nice meal out, and such a nice weekend.
There were other people doing the same and forgetting their normal routine and just living life, socialising and chatting, and living.
So make the most of your weekend so it doesn’t feel you haven’t done anything and take the time off, and live. Spend the time meeting friends and seeing family, go for a walk and meet someone for a coffee or go out, making sure you stay safe, but live it and live for the moment. On my way home from seeing my brother and his wife, and kids I started to go through emails, and then I sat back and stopped and said to myself “Stop and sit and just enjoy the ride”, not looking on Instagram, emails or Youtube and just enjoy, and it felt so good, So have that time to take in what is around you, and give yourself that time to do what you want and let yourself be free of rushing around.
Just to let you know I did uploaded my week in a life on my main Youtube channel, so check it out: https://youtu.be/-7vRdXxHPuQ
Everyone can build a castle 