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Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Category Archives: Boundaries

Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas

30 Saturday Nov 2019

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Books, Boundaries, Cheat sheet, Everyday living, Goal setting, having bad days, Inspiration board, Inspiring stories, Love, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Printables, Scammed, Useful articles, Youtube videos

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articles, Blogmas, Books, carriesrealworld.com, Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, finish the year on a high, Good things about Christmas, Lets get ready for Blogmas, sportsand fitnesspassion, the parenting adventures, topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard, videos, Youtube

Lets get ready for blogmas

This year I have decided that I would do Blogmas to help get me and everyone who reads or who are new to my blogs, in the mood for Christmas and so this means I will be posting blogs everyday from tomorrow (1st Dec) to Christmas Day (25th Dec) on my various sites that I write blogs on, including this one.

The links to my other sites are as follows:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

There may be some videos, articles, books and various topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard for some people and like myself there was a time when I dreaded Christmas.

However there are good things about Christmas too and will be sharing how you can finish this year with a bang by creating positive changes into your life that will set you up to have a better Christmas and finish the year on a high.

If there is a particular topic you would like me to talk about that will help you then please leave a suggestion by adding a comment below. You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site and my others by following on WordPress.com.

You can also see my posts on  Pinterest and my social media pages too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great weekend,

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Creating a foundation and following the unplanned

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Personal Development

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Building, Creating a foundation, Determination, developing your life, everyonecanbuildacastle, family, Fear, goals, Learning and developing, life skills, Self Doubt, self help, Self Loath, succeeding, the unplanned, visualisation

The one thing I have learned from being a child, a teenager and an adult, is that the more of a foundation you create, the more you will be able to handle rejection, criticism and general negativity in your life.

You will never stop anyone from feeling negative towards you, there will always be people who will see things differently to you, but it doesn’t really mean they are wrong or you are, and there will always be, no matter what, people who do nothing more than bring you down. They want to bring you to their level to make them feel good, no matter what.

My advice,

Leave them in their misery”

“If they never have anything good to say, then let this be their problem, not yours. Never allow these people to stop you from what you believe in or what you want to do with your life as that is exactly what they want”*

 


What type of foundation should you want to create?

One that makes you smile when you feel down, and gives you fulfillment, gives you security and reassurance.

Those people around you, who know how to bring you back to earth, and let you know that if what you plan in your life doesn’t go to plan, they still have your back at the end of the day.


There is the negative and the positive foundation

Those who will instantly bring you up and those who will instantly bring you down, those who will purposely lead you down a bad road, and you end up hurting yourself and others.

How many stories do we read of famous people who end up with the people who dictate what they should wear, eat and who they should be in a relationship with, and ended up being with someone that changes their life forever, leading them into drugs and drink, and before they know it, their life is out of control.


Did they have a good or bad foundation?

I don’t believe people actually wake up in the morning to have a bad day.

If there was a pill to bring people happiness, I guarantee it would sell out within a day. I believe that people all want to feel good about themselves and feel fulfilled, because what is the point of being alive if not?

People who become famous for example, for singing, acting and creating worldwide businesses, obviously felt that this talent couldn’t got to waste and had a purpose to their life.

I never believe someone who becomes famous plans to fail or go down the wrong path, and purposely sets a bad foundation, but it can too often be because the people supporting them can often get lead by the fame too, and are forever saying “Yes” and not “No” and when people get used to people saying “Yes” to their needs, they can often go against those who say “No” when they are the ones who are trying to help them the most.

They get lost in the world of fame and find it hard to bring themselves up into the realworld again.

Then there are those who have started of with a poor foundation, or started of with a bad foundation, but through determination, strength and never letting any challenges pull them down, have thrived to create an amazing foundation, that can never be taken down, no matter what.

The one person who strings to my mind when I think of this, is famous people like Richard Branson, who started selling things out of the boot of his car and created one of the most famous brands in the world. Virgin.

However you don’t have to become a multi millionaire or even billionaire to create a good foundation, which can become unbreakable. Sometimes people who come from nothing to a millionaire can seem like they have a good foundation, but then get out of control and ended up bankrupt.

I remember reading one of Paul McKenna’s books and he described that even though he was in the prime of his career, how he felt empty and not completely fulfilled as he had hoped.

I remember the girl bad TLC, from the 90’s and they had a hit with “Don’t go chasing Waterfalls”, and looked like they were on the road to an amazing lifelong singing career, only for it to all come crashing down.

Now the bad no longer exist. Well I haven’t heard anything since watching VH-1 years ago, when they did a documentary on their career.

All the money they had made from their hits, had gone.

There will always be times when you will trip and fall, but creating a foundation around you will help support you.

I am also a great believer in that sometimes the unplanned is better than the plan, when something out of the blue occurs and it feels amazing and then you start to develop a foundation to maintain that unplanned event, that has changed your life.

An Example: I went to work down in Bognor Regis, as I wanted to work within a holiday camp and work within the entertainments department.

That never happened. Instead I met my now husband, and then within a year we were living together, and now 14 years later, we are married with a son, which was the greatest gift ever.


That has become my foundation.  

The roads we choose may vary, and it may take several routes for us to get where we really truly want to be, but with the correct people around us, to help us in our journey we are more than likely to succeed.

Be weary of who you choose. It is okay to be picky, just make sure that they suit you, and meet your expectations, are honest with you and you in turn respect them and treat them as part of a team, and give credit when it is due, there is nothing worse when you have helped someone, and they haven’t even said thank you.

My son and husband are my foundation. When I feel low, I just have to take one look at them and I feel good, I know I have something to succeed for.

I knew going to Bognor Regis I would gain my independence and find a life of my own, and I did just that. I did try getting into the entertainments side, but by then I was on the road to another path, and found my passion for fitness, taking on charity runs and did my first half marathon, I then found my passion again for writing and here I am.

Continuing with the foundation I already have, I have now started to create a another foundation, by having my own income again, for the next path, and I am no longer worried about following the initial plan, but setting myself goals and targets.

It isn’t about the plan, but what you learn and discover as you go about your life.

Related blog I recommend: http://balanceinme.com/blog/life-balance-foundation/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Boundaries

01 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries

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Boundaries, Celebrity Big Brother, Clashes of peronalities, everyonecanbuildacastle.wordpress.com, Overstepping the line, Protecting ourselves from those committing bad boundaries, Setting Boundaries

When I first wrote this in my notepad I thought about this when watching Celebrity Big Brother where Perez Hilton began to be what I perceived to be sexually explicit in the Big Brother garden, and it did shock me and disgust me.

It made me think is this crossing a boundary?

I know there will be those reading this, saying “That’s an understatement”, but everybody’s perception of boundaries are different as everyone has a different set of boundaries. There are the good boundaries which you know you fear but you also know that once you’ve taken the courage to cross that good boundary it will make you feel like you have accomplished an ultimate achievement in your life.

Then there are the bad boundaries which you know if someone crosses it will influence how you view them and if you would like this person in your life or not.

Is it important to set boundaries?

Yes the ones that you know will effect your day in a negative way and will cause offence to other people around, are the ones you know will loose your respect for that person crossing that bad boundary and you will no longer see them in a positive light anymore. It is important we let a person know if they have gone too far, it is not always the case of walking away and ignoring them.

When watching that episode of Celebrity Big Brother, I thought, does Perez have any boundaries?

At first I thought after that activity he did in the garden (those who have been watching will know what I am referring to) he can’t have. However watching a couple of episodes afterwards where Katie Hopkins was being I think quite childish towards him trying to isolate him and bring him down, I realised he does.

He knows when someone has gone to far and crossed one of his boundaries which caused him to get upset. I do think both are playing a game in the Celebrity Big Brother house, Katie Hopkins as much as I detest her, I do find her fascinating because she is playing a very clever game. I know some will differ from this opinion, but I really think she is.

However even she has boundaries, which I can clearly see and it can cause clashes, but you should stand up to someone if they do cross one of your boundaries. The way she does it is by giving a comment which causes alarm and I see she knows that too, she knows what will create more a shock reaction (i.e. Crossing some of the house mates boundaries) but there is another way, just saying “That is out of order” then explaining why can be enough, you don’t have to be confrontational, and a lot of CBB is edited for us at home, it wouldn’t be seen as good TV if everyone was getting on and being nice to each other, that is why they select different personalities, they know there will be  clashes from people in the group.

If you watch clearly you can see each of their boundaries and what each celebrity sees as a good boundary and a bad one to them. I think even opting to go into the CBB house is a boundary and can be a good or bad experience.

Writing about this it made me think about mine

What are my own boundaries?

Referring to the definition of boundaries:

Sourced from Wikipedia

Personal boundaries – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

– If I know someone is being spiteful and rude for no reason.
– Mental and physical abuse which I suppose is related to the above.
– Dishonesty, people not being truthful.
I am no way perfect, I have and had my moments where I have behaved which others have seen as negative and wrong, and they have pulled me up on it. I am sure many of us have, but it is how you learn from them that matters. You can either continue to behave badly which ends up upsetting you and the people around you; or take responsibility and make sure you change this negative behaviour so you feel better about yourself and others on how they perceive you.
This is why having boundaries are important because it helps you learn about yourself and others to create more positive feelings in your life and theirs too.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
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