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Everyone can build a castle

~ Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success

Everyone can build a castle

Tag Archives: life coaching blog

Getting from A to B in life

26 Sunday Nov 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, having bad days, health and wellbeing, New Beginnings, Personal care, Personal Development, Planning 2023, productivity, Weekly posts

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everyone can build a castle, getting through life, life coaching blog, resetting, self help blog

Just to let you know I write a daily blog now, that I did before and then took a break, but wanted to get back into posting on that blog site, because I enjoy it and sharing many things. Here is a link: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/

A picture I took from this weekend as I write this book, and visited Wimbledon Common on a Winter walk

If you didn’t know I have uploaded a new Newsletter so here is the link to that: November Newsletter 2023 I post one each month, and so check it out.

So getting from A to B. We spend a lot of time rushing around, travelling to different places and means dealing with delays on transport, the weather and errands you can’t avoid like getting ready for the different seasons, and Christmas can be so stressful that can make us become humbugs. Then there is dealing with emails, appointments and getting ready, if you have Children ready for school. So getting to A to B in life can come with many hurdles.

We will face challenges in our lives, and there is no avoiding them. Getting through childhood I found was hard, because I did find it hard to make friends and get to grips with things that happened, through childhood, like people dying, I didn’t understand life and death, and feared it for a while. I would live in a daydream a lot, and wished I spent more time taking it all in, and appreciated the things we did, like the weekends, where I’d played at my nans houses, did dancing lessons, whilst my brother played football. This was each weekend at a local recreation ground. We would spend time in pubs and all I wanted to do was go back home, and when those times stopped I really missed them. Those days were great and would be around lots of people that made me laugh and this was before the internet and social media and would go on some really good fun holidays. We’d go round to peoples homes, and stayed over, or they came round to us, and would squabble, trying to torment my brother a lot, and we’d have toy fights and would go to birthday parties and Christenings and it was such a brilliant time, and thanks to social media I have got back in touch with people, from those times and thankful for that.

When it comes to school and doing homework I couldn’t wait to those days to be over. Thinking and understanding my life, I actually did alright, and writing that, its the first time I felt that it was okay, and it was only the food at school that was bad, thinking about Primary School. Going on day trips, and spending time with friends and make the most of what we had in the UK, being British. It was my confidence that affected me, and feeling like I was climbing up a mountain and not making it up to the top, unless it came to playing sports or dancing, and because I would do badly in tests and remember dreading Secondary School, being so different to primary school.

I did go on to the sixth form year of my school, and felt I had a good level of freedom, but to be honest I had enough of education, and then started working, and I did write a blog about how I found work life, was good for me, and my knowledge of the world thrived and enjoyed the working environment and started going out around London, and on the first full time job, was taken from London to Lille on The Euro star and, parts I found hard, it wasn’t always great, but loved the fact I was earning my own money and forming relationships that was fun, and I am so glad I had that time to just enjoy my teens and early twenties.

It is important to enjoy the early years and when it comes to Christrmas, to embrace the people you love in your life and not worrying about it being better than the last, which I often have felt, because life isn’t a competition, and getting rid of resentment and begruding each other success, is important, because that is only going to flare other negative emotions and can lead you being alone. Pay each other compliments and really listening to people and celebrate each others achievements and how they are building their life.

Live life together and stop knocking it down.

If you feel your life is going backwards then Reset, and Relfect. This is where keeping a journal helps, going through things that you feel is causing you to have these feelings. That is what they are, feelings that can be controlled. This is where my Autumn Reset can help, and help finish tasks, to then start a fresh, and I will go through my lists and set a plan to get things finished, making sure I leave time to have some fun. Weekends I spend with my son, having plenty of exercise, watching TV I don’t always get to watch, in the week and just having time to hug, kiss and take in every minute. Life can be tiring, and it okay to be tired, we are all human, and that we spend time having a nice hot bath, read a book, doing some retail therapy, and not to be buy clothes but food we love to eat, stuff to decoarate our homes with and buying new things for our kids and bringing smiles to everyone in your life, faces.

Getting to A to B in life shapes you, depending on the paths you have chosen and if things haven’t worked out, brush yourself off and carry on.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Selfcare and development: Summing up and having challenge days

10 Sunday Sep 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, health and wellbeing, life coaching blog, Living, People, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Positive Habits, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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change of seasons, end of summer, life coaching blog, selfcare and development, Summer Project 2023

My last blog for my yearly Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” and finishes on a high. Today I took my son with his dad to a rugby match and was a good result, but also challenging because my son is moaning a lot at the moment and so it is getting tricky for him to be happy, yet my blogs is all about being happy.

Photo by Rizz Graphy on Pexels.com

To grow this channel it is important to me in not cover over the tracks, that I talked about in this blog, that form with life, and I think it is my son saying “that he enjoyed himself and doesn’t want it to end” which I was like as a kid, and used get so upset when it came to the end of a fun day, and didn’t want it to end.

I love the weekends in doing different things that is different from the week and it is important to have things to look forward to and taking time off from everyday living, and exploring different places and enjoying every day and having a life full of happiness.

Noone life is perfect, and that is not being a pessimist, but the truth. There are always unplanned events that happen in our lives as much as we try to stop it, and when like a death of someone happens which can cause trauma, life suddenly changes and not as you knew it.

So you have to allow yourself to recover and be able to grieve that can help to recreate your life, and not get over it, but that it becomes easier to deal with and develop other relationships in your life and make amendments to relationships, and to get your life back to feeling good again and that you are worth the life you want.

Start making those changes, by changing one habit in your life a day and write down what it is you want in your life and what you want your life to look like.

So thank you for those that have liked the blogs in this yearly programme I have created and for the follows, and next it will be my Autumn Reset so, I hope you did all have a good summer and now it is time to embrace the change of season and finish tasks for the new academic year.

Many thanks for reaching,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Making Deals with myself: When I can’t be bothered

05 Tuesday Sep 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Goal setting, having bad days, Living, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Positive Habits, productivity, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts, Yearly Reset

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getting stuff done, life coaching blog, making deals with myself, productivity, sunny days

Its days when it is really hot outside where I want to not bother in getting my to do lists done. It is good to see the sun shining and have been out today, but today I have had to really make the effort, so my deal I made with myself was to get a video uploaded and then I can have another coffee, and I do this on days I go for a walk and build my steps. Sitting out in the garden is good, and like to do a bit of writing and reading a book, but there bits i need to do on my laptop but when it is piping hot then can cause it too overheat, and I not so good with heat.

Photo by Teona Swift on Pexels.com

The hardest thing for me is getting out of bed. If you have heard of Mel Robbins, she has talked about this too in her videos and podcast and was how she developed the 5 Second Rule.

I don’t believe in forcing myself, because that can lead to not wanting to do anything and if that is the case, I take a break. It is important to take some time out and sit in the sun, but if you have things that need to be done, then do it. I will say right, I will edit another chapter of my book and then I can watch another Youtube video and if I do a workout then I can have that Dr Pepper or a bit of chocolate if I get the craving.

I won’t always do this with food, because this can lead to over eating and it is important to not use it to eat too much sugary food and other bad foods, but not refusing either as it can make me want it even more, and I like to work towards my meals each day, and have that one biscuit with my tea, but also if I want a bubble bath or a glass of wine or watch some TV.

If I want to buy another item of clothing I will get rid of an item of clothing that I no longer wear and doing a declutter during the Summer Holidays made me realise I do not need any more clothes and doing a reset soon when I do my Autumn Reset. More details of this coming soon.

I have footage of my declutter and uploaded a video of this today: https://youtu.be/CFAiSmmYrrw

I did a video about using what I have and made a deal that if I use up what I have got then I can buy more, and if it doesn’t get used and give it a year, then it goes. This may not worked for everyone, but works in with me and how I control my spending, how I continue good habits and how I achieve my goals that I set each day, month and year and quarterly, and 5 years.

So if you find you can’t be bothered then make a deal with yourself because its the result that will help me in feeling good and not wasted time by doing nothing.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023″Is it good to cry/Dealing with Trauma: Taking one day at a time

24 Thursday Aug 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, Love, Personal care, Personal Development, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

everyone can build a castle, health and wellbeing, life coaching blog, Personal Development, self help blog

When my son was born premature it really scared me and didn’t have any idea of what was going to happen next. I had no inkling that Henry was going to be born early and I shut down any thinking of the future, and I am a planner. The evening my waters broke I was going through my diary of how many weeks I had to go and that evening i went to hospital and then on the Monday of being in hospital from the Saturday, my son was born, and I never felt so frightened in my life and if my son was going to be okay.

I love taking pictures of London and good way of helping trauma that has helped me, is taking pictures and people I love.

Yes having a child is a miracle and I did want children but it was the shock, that made me shut down and for once was not worrying about what was going to happen tomorrow.

I cried a lot. Taking one day at a time I just concentrated on doing what I could to feed Henry my milk and readjusting, when I could visit my son in hospital I did and helped with feeding, having cuddles and changing him, and take it step by step.

For me that is the best way, and just taking it slow.

Life has a way of surprising us, so it is important to live each day at a time. Yes I am into goal setting, but I do set goals daily as they arise and try not to worry about tomorrow all of the time. My Keyworkers, when my mental health wasn’t good, both said to take each day at a time, and is about getting back to recovery state so enjoy the days with my son, and rebuilding relationships that were on the brink of falling apart and concentrate on my health and on my environment. Getting back to doing the things I love, like blog writing, going for walks and spending time with my son.

I hope these blogs help you and lets support one another.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching programme “Summer Project 2023” Is it good to cry/How to heal after trauma: Tips and Getting Support

23 Wednesday Aug 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Boundaries, Everyday living, Financial Living, journal, Living, Love, Medical help, Personal care, Personal Development, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

≈ 1 Comment

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dealing with trauma, finding help and support, Is it good to cry, life coaching blog, managing your feelings

A good cry can do wonders, yet many say it is a sign of weakness which I do not believe. If you have had trauma in your life it can take a long time to heal, and everyone bodies way of grieving is personal to them, and the words that get me is when someone says “Cheer up”, because it is more than having a bad day, it can be the hardest thing we’ve ever faced.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Trauma can happen at any time and really knock us off our feet, and so often a person needs space and given comfort and compassion, and support to help recover.

Find someone who will truly listen to you, without making judgement but will just take in what you are telling them and help you make sense of it. Also writing, this has always helped me and when my Dad was badly hurt and was in hospital for a while, it was spending time playing out with my friends, and was looked after by my grandparents and neighbours in the housing estate I used to live. I will always be grateful for that, because I remember feeling some confusing and tried to lower the trauma I was facing at that time, by playing out, it helped take my mind away with what was happening.

Allow yourself to feel and if you need a bit of space then let people around you know and have that time to just feel and think, and when my son was born, which was early, at 31 weeks, I couldn’t see him for the first week as I had a viral infection, and it broke my heart, so took time to rest to recover, as it was a traumatic birth and so got as much rest as I could get, but even sitting some where like near a pond or the sea, if possible, it can help with being peaceful and calming, and can do wonders in dealing with your feelings.

If you feel you need medical help then talk to the doctor and don’t get fogged off, they are there to help you and can put you in touch with the Mental Health teams in your area, I was supported by Surrey Mental Health team and then the Merton Mental health team. They have many thing that they can help you with. like, putting you in contact with a Career Specialist, that they put me in contact with when I was ready to work outside again , and with my finances and free courses, in the fields I have been interested in, and there is a Recovery College which do free courses, and will continue to help you as you recover.

So, I hope these blogs are helping you and if you’d like to be updated when I post a blog on this site then press the Subscribe button on the top left of this site.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” What you currently love: Living the city life and exploring

22 Tuesday Aug 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, Personal Development, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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being a city girl, exploring the city, life coaching blog, living in the city, what I currently love

This blog was inspired by yesterday when I took a trip to North Greenwich and was unplanned but was brilliant, and sometimes the unplanned days are the better times and travelled by train and then by UberBoat. This you can pay by debit card, Oyster or tickets, and stops at different stops like Tower Bridge, and visited some shops, had a a drink and there are some brilliant things for kids, like a Trampolining place.

Photo by Dominika Greguu0161ovu00e1 on Pexels.com

Doing trips like this really can boost your happiness and wellbeing, and today I feel so pumped up, because doing something I currently love, and that is spending time in the visiting others parts of the city where I don’t always go, reminds me that there is more to London than the rush hour and traffic.

Checkout out my Instagram where I took some pictures, if you would like to see them: https://www.instagram.com/typicallondongal/

When you start exploring it can really help to open your eyes, because I have been to North Greenwich before, but there were parts I still hadn’t seen and going by boat made a massive difference and not gone an UberBoat before, I did go to Tower Bridge before by boat, but not sure if that was the same one, but it made a lovely change to catching the bus, and then on our way came back to London Waterloo had a bite to eat before we caught the train to return home.

As I write this I think of Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, and how she lived it up and hated the country side and I love the countryside too and going out of London, but I like to visit I love too and living in London there are so many places you can go, to still be with nature. Like one of my current loves is walking with my son, and we often walk along the Wandle river in Wimbledon where you can be around different birds, ducks and people walking their dogs or a families cycling.

I loved travelling on the River Thames, and seeing the Tower Of London, the Bridges and the O2, and seeing the tall buildings in Canary Wharf.

Are you a fan of the city or a the country? I’d love to read your thoughts and if you have ideas of other cities to visit. You can leave a comment below.

So thanks for the likes so far on my blogs, and my Autumn Reset will be coming and will post more details of this in the next few weeks.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Mind Management: What is important to you right now?

15 Tuesday Aug 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Everyday living, journal, Living, Personal care, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Positive Habits, Printables, productivity, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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everyone can build a castle, health and wellbeing, life coaching blog, Personal Development, self help blog

This is something I journaled when away near the south coast of Britain in a caravan and is important to me because I do go back to the passed in my thoughts and of the future, but in order to plan for the future you have to live each day and be present, rather in a dream world all of the time.

So when I wrote this, it was to enjoy myself with my husband and son, and seeing friends and were friends who hadn’t met our son, and being present helped I feel, have a good weekend.

Check my free printable to help you.

printable-for-a-journalDownload

Write it out and I have just did a new page of my journal, to what I want to do right now and helping me to slow down and focus on one task at a time.

It helps me to prioritize, so I have laundry to sort out so going to, once written this blog, go and check to see if my clothes are dry and put another load on. I have an telephone appointment and so need to prepare for that and having breaks in between and not feel overloaded with stuff to do.

It helps manage the mind to prevent burn out, and not being stuck in one place all day, as this can effect concentration and our feelings along with our thoughts

So lets keep building and keep living.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Feeling Fulfilled: Letting our selves down

06 Thursday Jul 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Feeling fulfilled, health and wellbeing, life coaching blog, living the best life, self help

Hello and welcome to a new blog. There has been times where I have felt I have let myself down, like when I had a chance to join the Fulham Ladies football team back in 1998, via my brother as he knew the Manager of the ladies soccer team, and I went twice and met a friend of mine from when I used to go to a dancing school, but getting myself there would take a lot and I would play images of not being good enough, not having natural skill and was way out of my comfort zone. I did play at Primary school and at Secondary, but because of hearing from one girl I played football with at school, said “Couldn’t even kick the ball” stopped playing at school. I feel that effected me when I should have ignored her and used it to show actually, I can kick a ball.

Photo by Khoa Vu00f5 on Pexels.com

I felt bad, because my brother had gone to that effort and he bought me my own football boots, but I just couldn’t get myself there due to the movies I would play in head of feeling out numbered, and not being good enough.

This has helped me to make sure I take on opportunities as I did my Level 1 Football coaching qualification and did run a children’s football team for a while, and then I was going to do my level 2 coaching badge but once again my confidence got me and so decided not to continue.

Yet I did Manage a Football team The football team in that I was coaching was taken over my some of the boys dads, and was disappointed about that, and was going to suggest it, but when the Charmain of the club said that I can coach the next under 8’s team, and then coach a girls team they wanted to coach, I felt like, “What so because I am a woman I should be coaching women?” and left.

Anyway I found out I was pregnant and didn’t feel wise to continue, and so stopped and was good experience and did feel let down a little, because I was running the team by myself and should have had one of the parents to help manage the team, to help me. However I felt I did okay and would like to continue one day and do sports coaching again, and my aim was to coach a team from kids to teenage years, and further. This is still something I’d like to do, but it is a massive commitment and so see what the future holds.

When I worked in Contact Centre often felt like I let myself down by not getting good feedback on the telephones and I wasn’t rude, but found real tough when people would ring and complain and not knowing what to say and felt I could have done better. That’s life though we won’t always get it right but you have to get it wrong to make sure you get it right, whatever you do and life is about learning and growing.

Football teams for example like Manchester United were Champions of the Premiership, yet it took Alex Ferguson 4 years when he began managing the team that they started to win trophies and was put under enormous pressure and became unbeatable.

You know when you feel you have let yourself down, because you go through what if’s and play scenes of if I had taken up that opportunity where would I have been right now? Would I have gone on and become a professional Football coach by now? and really life is about choice and often we do choose the wrong path or it goes into a different direction, Again that is life.

Doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen, and I didn’t always get it right being a football coach but they did win games and did improve their ability, and their skills, and did get messages from parents when I left thanking me, so it wasn’t all bad and I did enjoy it, just didn’t like how it ended.

As said you are never going to get it right but never allow it to knock you down, but to boost your confidence and self belief, check ot this blog: Life Coaching Programme Summer Project 2023 Forever Growing: Developing your belief in yourself and what you can accomplish in your life

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Feeling Unaccomplished: Your Expectations of yourself and the things we do.

04 Tuesday Jul 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Goal setting, Monthly Newsletter, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Positive Habits, productivity, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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building your life, expectations, happiness and wellbeing, life coaching blog, self help

I have written about this before Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms we all have expectations of ourselves and other people, because we fear disappointment. Yet it is good to have a level of expectation because it means we care about the things we have in our life.

Photo by M Venter on Pexels.com

Your expectations of ourselves can be tough, because we put so much on our shoulders that we can’t handle and leads us wanting to run rather than finishing tasks and get on with living our lives.

Lower the expectation, by taking your time and breathe and take in what is around you and keep planning your life and setting goals.

I would like to wish those who read my blogs in America a Happy 4th July and I bet you guys have a expectation for that, celebrating yearly events and special days. I have an expectation on my life coaching programme, because it is important that my audience, you guys, are getting something from them and writing my books, please check them out there are EBooks, about happiness and wellness, and have parenting books and fiction books.

You can find my books on amazon.co.uk under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

Having expectations sets us up but not to over do it. It also helps us to set boundaries and doing 1-5 tasks a day and set a time for each one. I love doing sprints when it comes to writing my books and at the moment I am editing my new book as my expectation is for it be better than my previous books and increase my skills and ambitions.

That is the good part of expectations and it is good to set challenges for yourself but ones that you know is going to help build your life but not stress and anxiety.

So set the bar each time to take action to complete goals but a height that you can reach and not make you give up.

Many thanks for liking my blogs so far, of my Summer Project 2023 and followed me it really means a lot and would suggest to do so if you want to be kept up to date with my blogs. I do write a newsletter each month, which I publish on this blog so check out June’s 2023: My Monthly Newsletter June 2023

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme “Summer Project 2023” Feeling unaccomplished: Dealing with knock backs

25 Sunday Jun 2023

Posted by Carries Blog Network in career building, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Goal setting, having bad days, Personal Development, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

building your life, dealing with knock backs, feeling unaccomplished, life coaching blog, Personal Development

Ok so you went for a job interview, got ready and put on some make up, did your hair and dressed smart and prepped for it, only to hear that once again you haven’t been unsuccessful. Often we can feel that we have wasted our time, but your not able to see who else applied for that job and what skills they had that you didn’t.

Photo by Isaac Taylor on Pexels.com

Often it could be that the company who you applied for, may have already had someone in mind and so you didn’t stand a chance anyway, even if you had worn your best suit or dress. I felt like that when I applied for a position to work with the email and chat team at a call centre I was working for. I had been there for a while and felt that it would be a perfect fit, but no someone else got it, who had been there less, and I felt a bit like, “Thanks for being loyal” being that I had been there four years and not had a day off sick, never been late and did a good job because they’d tell me, and so would the customers I would help. I was doing technical support.

Also I was the first person to work on the chat system they created, and I changed departments because I was finding it hard doing technical support for certain products that I didn’t understand and wanted a change, and so it was agreed that I could change, but then the deal was that I would work on the chat system which they wanted to test for a new product and see how effective it was, and whilst on chat would do emails to help out the email team, and it wasn’t just me others had joined me and it would be rotated so others worked on the chat system, did emails, whilst I help customers on the phones. I then was called into the office on one shift and offered the chance to move to the email team, along with working on the online chat service, and so, never give up. Just because you didn’t get the job this time, round doesn’t mean you won’t, you just have to keep trying and show them what you are capable of and worked my hard and was eventually awarded by the job I was doing.

Determination for me is everything and I have had a lot of knock backs, and I did when I was looking for work to work at a Holiday camp. I gave myself two years and it was the second year I was successful. Often people want to see how keen you are, and you see singers on the voice, who have already had record deals, and had to start their career from scratch again. Like Wendy Moten, who won the Voice on the USA version and was shocked because she did do some brilliant records, her famous one “Coming out of the rain”, and so knocks backs are okay, and learn from them to help continue building the life you want, and the job you want.

When it comes to relationships. I have been dumped by boyfriends, not having that many, and yes at first I’d be upset but then soon got over it, and if they aren’t meant to be so be it, but never fear, I did get married and had a son so now looking back, glad I was dumped because I would never have met my husband or had my son.

Life is full of hurdles Obstacles (jumping hurdles) and never should stop you for following your dreams and achieving your goals. I am never gong to allow anyone stop me from living my life and the same should be for you. You deserve a life full fun and happiness. So allow the knock backs in your life to help you not destroy you.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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