So this years Summer Project is nearly over and have one last blog to share. I really hope you gained something from it, and please in the comments below, give me your feedback as it really helps me grow my blogs and that you keep on liking these blogs and subscribe, and you will be alerted everytime I publish a new blog.
Self care and development is what is is all about, and making sure you put yourself first on some days and have a life you are happy with. Of course there are events that are beyond our control, like a loss of someone and something, but having resilience and determination, you can rebuild your life to be better and listen to your feelings, and address them.
Taking time out from everyday life and having new experiences and meeting new people, to build new relationships and making existing relationships stronger than ever, and being with people who will listen to you aswell as listening to them.
See that you deserve a happy life and you are worth the things in your life, and the relationships. You should treat yourself and make deals with yourself as I find rewarding helps me to get things done, and not procrastinate and taking my time, and taking it easy.
Life isn’t about rushing around, but having peace and if you can’t be bothered then it could be that you are doing too much and need to reevaluate your life and making changes, so you feel excited and not crawling through tasks, but will give you good results. Also taking a break and getting rest, so you properly recharge and feel full of energy to have a good life that you love.
Soon I will be starting my Autumn reset and so once I do my final blog then my Autumn Reset will begin and so a lot more content to come.
Yes so this is all about how make deals with myself, and I just did this now by promising myself if I do a home workout (exercise) then I can have another coffee. I am going to have my next coffee and watch another video on Youtube, and really enjoyed my workout. I do have a couple of fitness blog sites if you didn’t know, on WordPress and on google blogspot, please see these links:
This is the park in Epsom I like to walk through called Rosbery Park
I didn’t feel like walking this morning, but I did it by promising myself a Pain Eu chocolate with a cup of coffee that I had indoors and so now on my second and I am going to bloody enjoy it. Some may think this is counterproductive, but for me it is how I get stuff done and get focused.
I made a deal if I got what I needed, as I had shopping to pick up, that when I walked I could get the bus back and got one straight away which is unusual and tomorrow I am thinking a nice iced coffee whilst I walk and love it at the moment getting out in the morning, once my son has gone off to school, and feeling the cool air as it has been so hot in the day.
I have been on walks with my son too when he has come home from school, and to build my steps and completed another ring on my fitness app I have on my phone, and will have my dinner and by the time dinner time has come I have earned it. Tonight it is a home favourite Spaghetti Bolognese, and then often will play some more out in the garden with my son.
It helps me to be productive, and get my Life Coaching programme finished to then start my Autumn reset which will end by end of October 2023, and then it is getting ready for birthdays I have in my family and then getting ready for the festive season.
If you have read my blogs then you know I am that kind of person that likes to take her time, and if I can do something without rushing, I find I get may daily goals/to-do’s done and making the days as good as the next one.
So make promises to yourself and I can assure you, you will see positive results.
Its days when it is really hot outside where I want to not bother in getting my to do lists done. It is good to see the sun shining and have been out today, but today I have had to really make the effort, so my deal I made with myself was to get a video uploaded and then I can have another coffee, and I do this on days I go for a walk and build my steps. Sitting out in the garden is good, and like to do a bit of writing and reading a book, but there bits i need to do on my laptop but when it is piping hot then can cause it too overheat, and I not so good with heat.
The hardest thing for me is getting out of bed. If you have heard of Mel Robbins, she has talked about this too in her videos and podcast and was how she developed the 5 Second Rule.
I don’t believe in forcing myself, because that can lead to not wanting to do anything and if that is the case, I take a break. It is important to take some time out and sit in the sun, but if you have things that need to be done, then do it. I will say right, I will edit another chapter of my book and then I can watch another Youtube video and if I do a workout then I can have that Dr Pepper or a bit of chocolate if I get the craving.
I won’t always do this with food, because this can lead to over eating and it is important to not use it to eat too much sugary food and other bad foods, but not refusing either as it can make me want it even more, and I like to work towards my meals each day, and have that one biscuit with my tea, but also if I want a bubble bath or a glass of wine or watch some TV.
If I want to buy another item of clothing I will get rid of an item of clothing that I no longer wear and doing a declutter during the Summer Holidays made me realise I do not need any more clothes and doing a reset soon when I do my Autumn Reset. More details of this coming soon.
I did a video about using what I have and made a deal that if I use up what I have got then I can buy more, and if it doesn’t get used and give it a year, then it goes. This may not worked for everyone, but works in with me and how I control my spending, how I continue good habits and how I achieve my goals that I set each day, month and year and quarterly, and 5 years.
So if you find you can’t be bothered then make a deal with yourself because its the result that will help me in feeling good and not wasted time by doing nothing.
I am going bit over with my Life Coaching blogs, before I begin my Autumn Reset, as there are a few more blogs I want to share. Just because we are coming into the 9th month of the year, doesn’t mean you can’t restart your life. Everyone’s situation is different, and so, so what if if it is not January? Its when you know it is time to reevaluate your life and make changes.
I get anxious, I find it hard to wake up in the mornings, so I will take it slow. I remember when working in a Call Centre, that was fast paced, and a lady there used to call me, “Mrs Rush” and was noted when I worked in a holiday camp and worked in the Residential Catering Department, that I would work fast and I get lost in the moment to get things done, and I think living in the city that is all you know, is to be fast.
Now I take my time and attention to detail is the key, and not always about getting so much done at once. This is from experience, as working fast pace, it would cause me to be stressed and get burn out, to not wanting to be bothered to do anything.
It doesn’t have to all be done in one day. and allow yourself to breath. Make one change a day. I do make the beds, but with the summer holidays I have made them as soon as I have had that free moment, and there are no bed making Police so fit it in, but when it suits you, and being flexible can really help in the way you live your life, and making sure you have that first drink in the morning, that you enjoy, of course not alcohol or fizzy drinks. Just start with the mornings, and mix it up, its good to change a routine if you feel bored with life, and need to start over, because you feel that life is too much and can’t cope with it.
I found that reading and listening to Podcasts helps. There are some good books out there, like Mel Robbins the 5 second rule which I am sure you know about. and she does a brilliant podcast, along with Fearn Cotton, Happy place and a new one I have gotten into is Real Talk Kim.
I have written books too, check out Amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. They are available on Kindle and many of them are available in paperback too.
It all about changing the way you think about yourself, areas that need to be changed and the people you associate with. I remember working in a Call Centre and there were many agents who were negative all day thinking the worst and complaining a lot. Yet there were times when we would have a laugh, but you’d find those that ruined that, were the ones who had nothing good to say about anything and everything.
Yes it was a tough job, but seeing that we’d would deal with complaints a lot, the worst thing was colleagues arguing and those thinking they were a lot more superior to everyone else. That they had more rights than you, and yet we were doing the same job and also because of, not getting help by senior staff.
Or you find that people talk to you about their problems but won’t listen to yours, and for me a good friendship is when you get each other and it is 50/50. I am not saying to have a fall out or start accusing, but have a chat and mend relationships that is stopping you to start again.
This means making sense of situations and changing the patterns in your life and having self care, and look after your own wellbeing first before you focus on anything else. Sometimes you have to be selfish in the contents of changing the way you dress, your morning routine that you have a good reason to get up and get going.
Stop beating yourself up and live. Take each day as it comes aswell as plan and setting goals for the future and remove devices on some days or during part of the day, as these can influence our thoughts too.
Noones life is perfect everyone experiences bumps in the road, and so get up and get going, and be in charge of your life and honour yourself, and be kind to yourself.
Self Sabotage won’t get you anywhere, but fall into more of a depression, and so make every day be as good as the last by respecting yourself and making step by step changes.
When my son was born premature it really scared me and didn’t have any idea of what was going to happen next. I had no inkling that Henry was going to be born early and I shut down any thinking of the future, and I am a planner. The evening my waters broke I was going through my diary of how many weeks I had to go and that evening i went to hospital and then on the Monday of being in hospital from the Saturday, my son was born, and I never felt so frightened in my life and if my son was going to be okay.
I love taking pictures of London and good way of helping trauma that has helped me, is taking pictures and people I love.
Yes having a child is a miracle and I did want children but it was the shock, that made me shut down and for once was not worrying about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I cried a lot. Taking one day at a time I just concentrated on doing what I could to feed Henry my milk and readjusting, when I could visit my son in hospital I did and helped with feeding, having cuddles and changing him, and take it step by step.
For me that is the best way, and just taking it slow.
Life has a way of surprising us, so it is important to live each day at a time. Yes I am into goal setting, but I do set goals daily as they arise and try not to worry about tomorrow all of the time. My Keyworkers, when my mental health wasn’t good, both said to take each day at a time, and is about getting back to recovery state so enjoy the days with my son, and rebuilding relationships that were on the brink of falling apart and concentrate on my health and on my environment. Getting back to doing the things I love, like blog writing, going for walks and spending time with my son.
I hope these blogs help you and lets support one another.
Grab the bulls by the horns, Have you heard of that? Instead of sitting back feeling that you have no life set yourself challenges. These can really open your eyes of what you are capable of and can help feeling down about life, to feeling that you want to take on the world and get back up on your feet, if you have had bumps in your life that has made you feel that you have no life.
I love starting the year on a challenge, they help set me up for the year ahead and will be doing no spending January again as I want Jan and Feb 2024 be the last payments to pay off my credit card, I want to start doing fundraising events again and start with doing 5K walking and running events, and this year I am going to do NanoRimo to write my first Christmas book and want to do editing challenge for August and September and so when i decide of how I am going to do that I will let you know.
The yearly challenges I have been doing for the summer months is walking each day and get outdoors and help get my legs strong again so I can get back into running and build my steps and I really enjoy it as it makes me feel I have more energy when I do and reading a book a month. This challenge (reading) began last year and I love it. In August I find it hard to read, because of the school holidays but I have just kept going and read so much by doing so, and read during the day where possible.
They help to stimulate the mind and look forward to getting out of bed each day and you learn so much about your self.
If you find it hard to take a challenge on your own then see if anyone will join you. When I was working at a call centre I had colleagues wanting to join me in fundraising walks and family too. It can really help boost relationships and that your in it together and egg each other on.
Start by choosing one, and it can be writing for ten minutes each day, go for an hours walk or 5 minutes declutter each day or once a week and organize a room that has been bothering you and dread seeing the mess everyday, as untidy spaces can get us down and feel stuck in a rut. There are 30 day challenges and when I began doing challenges they became addictive and did one to Instagram to post for 30 days for an entire month and I enjoy posting on Instagram as I wanted to post more frequently to build this platform along with Facebook and Twitter.
Setting challenges helps to change our habits, for example it has helped me to be more productive, feel more positive and dealing with hurdles like I am not a naturally tidy person so since challenging myself I do a tidy each morning to get it out of the way and not avoiding tasks.
Thank you so far for liking these blogs and there is more to come. Please check out my Pinterest site where you can find more of my content for my Life Coaching programme:
If you follow me on this blog you will be alerted of when I post a new blog and with challenges set targets and what you want the outcome to be.
I have always wanted to make the most of my life and build it step by step to have a good life. This has never changed and never thought that I would be doing what I do now, and that is writing and creating books, making videos on Youtube and writing blogs.
There was no such thing as a kid born in the late 70’s and so seeing the opportunities we have now I am now getting excited about life. I have a son that has shaped my life. Life hasn’t been a piece of cake, there have been some difficult times like my dad getting badly hurt when I was secondary school and sustained a very bad head injury and then being there when my grandparents died. These things that have happened has made me see how life is so precious and you have to make the most of everyday.
First of all make a list, set some goals you know you can achieve and start changing your life. I always new I wanted to be a mum one day and it happened unexpectantly, and didn’t always get it right and still don’t but seeing this little human grow has been one of the best dreams I have ever had that has come true and it has changed my perspective of life even further, by seeing the world through his eyes, and life doesn’t have to be difficult it is changing the way you look at things. I no longer multi task and do one thing at a time, and not having any sense of fear but life is about trial and error.
When achieving the dreams, accept challenges along the way, that is how we grown and when we do achieve our dreams it is so fulfilling.
Please check out books on amazon.co.uk as I have written many EBooks, on parenting, wellness and changing your life. I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I have added more to my Life Coaching board on my Pinterest see below:
I have written about this before Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms we all have expectations of ourselves and other people, because we fear disappointment. Yet it is good to have a level of expectation because it means we care about the things we have in our life.
Your expectations of ourselves can be tough, because we put so much on our shoulders that we can’t handle and leads us wanting to run rather than finishing tasks and get on with living our lives.
Lower the expectation, by taking your time and breathe and take in what is around you and keep planning your life and setting goals.
I would like to wish those who read my blogs in America a Happy 4th July and I bet you guys have a expectation for that, celebrating yearly events and special days. I have an expectation on my life coaching programme, because it is important that my audience, you guys, are getting something from them and writing my books, please check them out there are EBooks, about happiness and wellness, and have parenting books and fiction books.
You can find my books on amazon.co.uk under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
Having expectations sets us up but not to over do it. It also helps us to set boundaries and doing 1-5 tasks a day and set a time for each one. I love doing sprints when it comes to writing my books and at the moment I am editing my new book as my expectation is for it be better than my previous books and increase my skills and ambitions.
That is the good part of expectations and it is good to set challenges for yourself but ones that you know is going to help build your life but not stress and anxiety.
So set the bar each time to take action to complete goals but a height that you can reach and not make you give up.
Many thanks for liking my blogs so far, of my Summer Project 2023 and followed me it really means a lot and would suggest to do so if you want to be kept up to date with my blogs. I do write a newsletter each month, which I publish on this blog so check out June’s 2023: My Monthly Newsletter June 2023
Yes Yes Yes! NO this is not copying when Harry met Sally, if you remember that film, I have set my goals for the summer, ready for the next season and to grow. Setting goals helps me to accomplish the things I want to do, and help me get through challenges, like for example I want to do fundraising events again but worry that I am not fit enough and have had injuries in building my walking and running again.
Running and walking on uneven pavements can contribute to that so it important I continue to walk as much as possible and get my body used to it again. There will always be hurdles, and so use this when it comes to achieving your goals, not to exhaust yourself but to stir you on to complete them.
I separate my goals into three categories, Home, Work and Play.
So in home is anything like my finances and Henry, my son like getting ready to prepare for his new school,, work is like my blogs and youtube for example and hopefully be outside work soon, and play is going out to dinner, trips and playing with son having lots of fun.
Here a printable I made to help you begin your Summer Goals:
The summer me is getting outdoors and exploring and do things that you can’t do in the Autumn and Winter, like swimming outdoors and have a meal in the garden. Well I suppose you could do these things in the Autumn and Winter, but would need blankets and coats, but for the summer you don’t and just having a lunch outside of a restaurant can be uplifting and, so they don’t have to be serious goals but ones that you can almost feel the enjoyment and motivation already, just by jotting them down.
You can keep; track of my blogs but following me and if you’d like to share you goals the please do. You can comment below..
I bet you have watched the X Factor or BGT, that many say when they do the auditions, that this is their last chance, but what if you had one chance? I wrote in my last blog about Dealing with Knockbacks and that to keep trying to do what you dream of doing, yet sometimes you do only get the one chance, for example: Being on a quiz show or game show, as it lets other people have a go, or winning the lottery.
I read a book by Paul McKenna some years back and he asked in this books, it was Building your confidence in seven days, and for me it would be to travel and explore with my son, and raise money for a charity and have a house built.
So what would you do if you only had one chance of achieving your dreams?
What steps would you follow?
I would clear my credit card debt, build up my savings,
Decide on the fundraising events I’d like to do and train for them and walk and run whenever possible again and continue as long as my legs allow me to do
Save enough to have the money to have a house built, by creating numerous income streams and have a bank account for building the house of my dreams.
Please leave details of what you would do in the comments below.
You have to make things happen for yourself, and it has taken me a long time to realise that and so I make the most of my days and weeks, and months now. I want to make sure I create good memories for my son, and it is up to me to do that and receives the best education, and learning about places and life skills such baking and cooking, reading, writing, how to wash their clothes and keep things nice and tidy. That has to come from me and his dad, and making sure that his needs are met and the same for us too being parents and be a role model.
If people see you achieving your dreams a lot of people will follow and be inspired, and life as it is, we never know if we are going to live or die, that really is out of our control, and so living each day to the fullest is how you can do the things you want, have happiness in your life. It is not about money, that is a necessity, but about how it makes you feel and the people around you.
Everyone can build a castle 