We all need to recharge, go for a walk without your kids hanging onto your ankles.
We are all here to live a blissful life and life can become too much, so don’t feel bad if you need some time to yourself.
Forget the guilt and put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door whilst you write or chilling listening to a podcast and I like to often have time with the TV off and sit in silence as we all need to switch off. We are human and living beings, who need to step back, putting yourself first for once.
It okay to meet with friends rather than hoover the house and not chat on WhatsApp, but see them face to face.
I enjoy spending time with others but at the same time, I like my own company and going for a walk, grab a coffee and sit by the river or by a local pond and let my mind wonder and watching the world go by.
Learn a new skill. I have done courses at a community college and did a singing class, drama, but then got a job working at a holiday camp, so didn’t continue but was fun and done football coaching, courses on mental health and it is good to learn and grow your knowledge and you don’t have to tell the world, but be a personal project.
I like to take trips, with no real plan but just travelling on a bus or train listening to a audio book or music, looking in charity shop, not for entertainment but to see if I can find some items on my list of things I’d like to buy.
I like to eat out occasionally when my son is at school and my husband is at work.
So be selfish and make the time yours and yours only, then once you’ve had some time to be with yourself then meet with others again and schedule some more down time.
This is part of my training I am doing for April 2025 because following these practices and loving my own company aswell is socialising, has helped to have a better relationship with myself and my life.
Please check out these two blogs written before for training. See the links below:
There will be people who think differently to you and we try to think okay “Lets see if I can alter their way of thinking”, but there are people who won’t change their opinion, no matter what. I have come to realise that there are people who will always think that they’re right and your wrong.
Yet there are people who will be like “I didn’t think about that” and start to change their point of view and you agree to disagree. So how can you mend your differences with others?
Well think about it. Would it be good if everyone agreed with you? It would be great but people aren’t like that, different minds make you evaluate a persons persona. It can trigger emotions such as, “There is nothing in the world for you” “Everyone is against you” because you seem to get struck down and then you resent them.
Are they worth your time? Yes there is the political points of view. Hence why we have different parties in our government and wars. Yet if it is just a different view on something and doesn’t cause a death then just settle it by acknowledging them and say “Okay well that is fair enough” or “Okay” and move on. It doesn’t have to mean your life is over because they think that something is straight and you think it is wonky.
Is it worth having a heated argument?
I remember me and my husband had a argument about a draw and looking back at it, it was just a draw and the way we organise will always be different. It was around the time where he was trying to give up smoking so was extra agitated and it was that I could share a plate of chips but not a draw and as I edit and write this blog, is making me laugh over it, because I can imagine being in court being asked “So what was the issue?” “Oh a draw and a plate of chips”. Is this worth spending money on a divorce lawyer, how important was the draw? Not a lot.
Things have changed, but we do still respect each other and it is what is best for our son.
I like to eat and wash up and when I finish, but my husband gets pissed off so to stop the argument I will do it as I go and it does save time. There are people who like to lay out their make up, but I like it to be in a storage bin but still be accessible but when it comes to cleaning the window and windowsill in my bedroom, I can lift it up and put it back.
I like a cupboard but believe in out of sight and out of mind, so if it something I don’t use all the time I put it away. My husband hates reading but I love it and love reading, but I am not going to think “Oh wow you should read blah blah” because it is up to him. He likes playing games on his phone and I use mine to make notes, go through emails and listen to music and watch Youtube along with some TV and use a Journal app.
Not everyone will be on the same page no matter how much we try to make them see, so now I just evaluate and think is it worth fighting for? Is it worth slamming doors to get them to see it from your eyes?
Not saying that people aren’t entitled to have point of view, of course they are, but chatting about it, not using it to have a slagging match, calling each other names, but just with a coffee or tea, and if they still don’t agree then end it and let them believe what they want, unless it is causing harm to others, but keep it civil. Arguments don’t need to last forever and just put it to rest, rather than brewing and not getting upset and angry.
Life is how you make it and it time to let things go and be happy as best as you can I believe looking after each other and giving support to others. If you’d like to this blog then please click below this blog and if you’d like to be notified when I post a blog then please subscribe.
We all have pressures in our lives or we have the same battles and arguments that have ended into saying hurtful things, lashing out, leading to the same feelings of hatred and bitterness. If it’s going to cause you unhappiness and then have your say, keeping it Civil and then hear there’s and leave it as a difference of opinion and move on. Often it isn’t actually a personal attack it can be that they have noone else to talk to about it and anger is often meaning that they are scared, not actually that they are confident and strong.
I have been jealous of friends and family to the point I’d feel low about myself and that I am never going to be good enough, but that has not been the case and so I had to do a lot of work on that and watched a Mel Robbins video about being Envious and Jealousy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS_Lu5IIFBI
She says that we feel this way because we feel that the person your jealous of has robbed you in having success in your life to have the same dreams come true and to turn it around and yes I would feel like “What is wrong with me?” and “I am never going to get that dream because they’ve taken it”.
It can make you feel resentful and looking at the way they talk, walk and gain success in their life, which leads us thinking we belong in the audience but not the stage. If it is making you not eat, sleep or go out, then it is time to look at yourself and why they are where they are, because they’re not bothered. Your bothered but you needn’t be because they not losing sleep over you, so use it to make you determined and find your spotlight by giving yourself time to focus on you and can often mean that there is a different stage for you and not feeling that you have lost out. Everyone in this world deserves to be happy so work on letting your negative feelings go to be happy and proud of your life no matter what some else has been doing to have a success career and that your never going to compete. I use others success to make me hungry of succeeding accomplishing my goals to have a life I dream of and that meant stepping back and working on my Mental Health and bring up my son and help him with his development and things he’d like to do.
I am all about working together and encouraging others to be happy with their lives. Be the person you want to be, as long as there is no bad intentions but that is good and not feel that we are never going to change and that we will miss out because of someone else’s success. So let it go.
I thought of this cheat sheet this week by doing my monthly shop where I by bits for the local food bank in Wimbledon/Merton to give back and also because my step dad helps an elderly lady and it is so rewarding to help others and we should all be working together for no more war, hunger and seeing families struggle to put food on the table.
These are tips on how you can do different acts of kindness if you know people that on their own and just need to see someone who wants to give them some company each day or week, but brightens up their day and not left all alone.
These are completely free to download and print and let me know your feedback on them and if there are other printables you’d find useful based on the content on this blog site and I do have many and do post a lot on my Pinterest and my social media platforms too:
Life will often hit you like a sudden death of someone, job loss or a holiday that has been cancelled that you were really looking forward to and so what can you do? How can you change the feelings of sadness and shock?
It takes time and grief is a personal thing and it dependant on the person but just take each day as it comes and allow it to build your strength and I miss my dad, and everyday I think about “What could I have done?” “What would he say if he was still alive?” and I wish he was here still but I know that dwelling on that is like hitting a dead end, so the importance for me was to move on for my own sanity.
You can’t fix everything and life is challenging at times and it can affect us in what we do each day. Its change. When my parents divorced I tried to block it out and was going out a lot to avoid what was going on and I was working up London and then it hit me and it really sent me down a downward spiral.
Yet I pictured it along time before it happened, but I had to take time to face it and the first Christmas of that year in 2000 was tough, and my spark of the festive season went and dreaded it.
Then in 2002 I went to the Southcoast to work at a holiday camp (Butlins Bognor Regis) and met my now husband and for a while I didn’t realise we were going out but we were, so in 2006 got married and moved back to London and then 2013 my son was born.
I am sad that my dad never got to meet him but he did know about it, as my brother saw him and so I had to come to turns with it as my mind can analyse everything and it drives me mad, so to help me to grow and going on my dads mistakes made sure I didn’t follow suit and remembering the good times and not worry about the bad.
Life will stop you in your tracks and this is good and bad, so I spend a lot of time in focusing on today and not rushing into things. I have had the intensity to think about the Autumn when we are still in Summer and being thankful of what I have in my life today. I was struggling with this blog because I felt I was rambling on and talking all about my passed and that I have had a good day so far today. I got the shopping I needed, worked on completing my Counselling course and watching a bit of Youtube and did a bit of tidy up.
I am having my first coffee for the day and journaled to help get this blog written for my Life Coaching programme Summer Project 2024 and filming a vlog and just enjoying each day, letting myself think about the now and not tomorrow and next week unless it is important and can help to not have too much to do and what I am looking forward to, to stop thinking of the bad feelings and what I don’t have right now.
I just as I write this blog, started journaling to figure out what to do about my restlessness and what I want next in my life, visioning my growth, building my life but focus on what I can do today to get to doing those things and listening to a self help video, listening to music or a podcast.
So today I am filming a vlog, going to make an apple crumble and then see what I can do today to complete my tasks planned for today.
My life has not been pain sailing, like us all, there has been ups and downs and when my mum or dad told me off I would be like, it was the end of the world and that I am right and they’re wrong, and so unfair, and would envy my brother, because he is super confident, and girls running after him, whilst I sat on a bench at school by myself.
I have had to really work on my self. I could get jealous, bitter and self centered, like “How have they earned that?”, “Oh they are showing off and trying to be super popular”, or like when I was a primary school, a girl named Sherie, was so popular and all the boys fancied her, and everyone wanted her company and be friends with her. I felt ugly and envious, that I will never be her, like I wished to be.
My mental health took a turned for the worst, and battled with my feelings for a long time. There were times when I didn’t get out of bed, and would stay in, and now I have been discharged from the Mental Health hospital, so proud of myself that I got through my fight with my mental health and not allowing my inner critic to hold me back and stop feeling that I haven’t had a exciting life compared to others, and that the world is against me.
Here are some questions to ask,
Who do you want to be?
Do you feel unworthy and that you’ll never be as good as someone in your life?
Do you feel that noone understands you?
Writing a journal, can really help address your feelings and what is it that is really bothering you?
For me it was, well if I look like that, like Sherie, then I will be as popular and the kids would want to hang with me, but that wasn’t the case and started to form friends as I gradually went through school, but it took a long time, and would have fights and arguments and was bullied. In the end I was well respected at Primary school. It took the last year to experience that, but that I had come so far, and then wanted to start a fresh beginning, at secondary school.
The feelings didn’t disappear, and got stronger. I now look back it was once again that I wasn’t fitting in, and was told by a girl that I was boring, because I was a fan of a TV show The Bill, and would talk about it a lot, and took it, and glad for her honesty and yes it hurt my feelings, but then she wasn’t perfect and would get on people’s nerves, yet we did have fun together, so I let it go.
With those group of friends, they would be into wrestling and one of my friends did canoeing, and shared our love of music. They were the ones who got me into following a rugby team and when I felt like I couldn’t buy chips in McDonalds they got them for me, and introduced me to rock music and went to concerts together, and made friends at my dancing school, and my confidence began to increase.
I have been unkind, and blocked people, because I was feeling excluded and it really was affecting me, because felt it was a personal attack. Now though I glad that they have done well in their life and now in jobs that are high powered, and looking after themselves.
Our negative feelings can rub off on others. I have been with people who would constantly be complaining. I am lucky for having the people around me that keep the roof over my head and support me in looking after my son, and at the weekend I met up with friends who I met when I was working at a holiday camp, and felt so privileged to be in their company as we had a good catch up, and that we all, trying to build our lives and be happy. I can be awkward and shy still but when you meet people, and makes you feel that you’ve never been apart, the fear instantly goes, your inner critic gets pushed away making you feel that you are worthy and people love you, and stop putting your guard up, and not allow your fears get the better of you, but make you grow and be the person you wished to be, and telling people that you love them, can help you and them. There are a lot of people I love, because they have been a huge importance to my life, and been a great influence. I am kind, I will be on time, and I will make the effort.
When you have been through trauma, it can make you angry, and “Why me?”, “What have I done to deserve it?” and often its nothing, its life, it can be unpredictable. Noone knows what is around the corner for us, and so, talking about growing our happiness, ask yourself, do you want to be unhappy all through your life? I have had to rebuild, and make sense of situations, but often there isn’t an answer. I no longer want my inner critic stop me from going swimming and going for walks, from spending time with my son, and go for opportunities, that can open many doors for me. I no longer want to be counting calories, and worrying about my weight. If biscuits are going to make me feel guilty, then I am not going to eat them, if someone doesn’t say thank you when you open the door for them, because what’s the point, they don’t care and not allow me to have a bad day, but continue to be kind and not allow their ignorance to rub off.
So lets all work together in building and growing our lives, its never too late to be happy and grow your feelings, to feel better about yourself. I do write a blog where I talk about building confidence. Check it out via this link: https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/
So this week has been testing as my son has had a tummy bug, and just dropped bar of soap down the toilet, but that’s life we will get bad luck, like missing the bus, being late for a appointment when you left with plenty of time, lost something or the item you wanted in the shop has gone.
There are different forms of bad luck and I was scammed last year by an email making it was PayPal and they were going to take a payment and hacked my laptop, not the one I am using now but one I had before and stopped using it. So if you get any emails like that ignore and never give out any personal details, and contact your bank.
You may think “This is typical”, “It is always me” but it’s not. Life is full of challenges and can stop you in your tracks. Yet some good things have happened too. Like a new opportunity, which I am not going to share yet but been something I have wanted to do since a kid and love music, and had recruitment meeting about it and after posting a new blog on my site: My Books and Stories, had ten likes already: https://mybooksandstories.wordpress.com/2024/02/28/develop-stories-to-create-a-book/
Being a parent (check out my, The Parenting Adventures tips and trick), kids will get sick and it was only a small bar or soap and so all I need to do is replace it and made sure Henry is washed and seen a doctor and now on the mend, and for me I feel it is a message to not worry that I haven’t filmed for my Youtube channel or sorted out cupboard upstairs, family comes first and focus on helping my son get better and that its time you slowed down and stop doing 25 things at one time and slow down for your health and wellbeing.
We put some much on our shoulders that we feel bogged down and where we can be like “What’s the point”, but everytime you do that, the more your wellbeing will be affected by not taking action to look after ourselves.
A car needs to stop so you don’t run out of petrol and we can run out of energy because we blame ourselves for bad luck when it is part of life and not allow it to control you, but learn from it to help prevent bad luck. Like putting the soap in a soap dish and when we make sure our kids rest to get over sickness, that you rest too and take care that it not passed on to you and forget emails. with my son being off from school have been spending time cuddling and doing all we can to help each other, and our kids wash their hands and not kissing but just spending time together to get back to normality and he can go back to school and I can get shopping or do other errands and jobs on my tasks list and clean to prevent sickness and infections. Then following the doctors advise and what it states to do online to help get back from sickness.
So never allow bad luck get to you down and share what you do to handle bad luck and tips. You can leave a comment below.
Hello and welcome! It is Monday again and it is time for another Cheat Sheet which are completely free to download and please share if you wish.
This weeks Cheat Sheet is about Spending time with friends which can be so good for you and have a catch up and rather than being on your own all the time invite a friend to join you.
Social interaction can be a good source of therapy, sharing your problems and doing things you can enjoy with somebody else, like working out together, going out and share a flask of coffee or tea, and grow your relationships.
Just to let you know I write a daily blog now, that I did before and then took a break, but wanted to get back into posting on that blog site, because I enjoy it and sharing many things. Here is a link: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/
A picture I took from this weekend as I write this book, and visited Wimbledon Common on a Winter walk
If you didn’t know I have uploaded a new Newsletter so here is the link to that: November Newsletter 2023 I post one each month, and so check it out.
So getting from A to B. We spend a lot of time rushing around, travelling to different places and means dealing with delays on transport, the weather and errands you can’t avoid like getting ready for the different seasons, and Christmas can be so stressful that can make us become humbugs. Then there is dealing with emails, appointments and getting ready, if you have Children ready for school. So getting to A to B in life can come with many hurdles.
We will face challenges in our lives, and there is no avoiding them. Getting through childhood I found was hard, because I did find it hard to make friends and get to grips with things that happened, through childhood, like people dying, I didn’t understand life and death, and feared it for a while. I would live in a daydream a lot, and wished I spent more time taking it all in, and appreciated the things we did, like the weekends, where I’d played at my nans houses, did dancing lessons, whilst my brother played football. This was each weekend at a local recreation ground. We would spend time in pubs and all I wanted to do was go back home, and when those times stopped I really missed them. Those days were great and would be around lots of people that made me laugh and this was before the internet and social media and would go on some really good fun holidays. We’d go round to peoples homes, and stayed over, or they came round to us, and would squabble, trying to torment my brother a lot, and we’d have toy fights and would go to birthday parties and Christenings and it was such a brilliant time, and thanks to social media I have got back in touch with people, from those times and thankful for that.
When it comes to school and doing homework I couldn’t wait to those days to be over. Thinking and understanding my life, I actually did alright, and writing that, its the first time I felt that it was okay, and it was only the food at school that was bad, thinking about Primary School. Going on day trips, and spending time with friends and make the most of what we had in the UK, being British. It was my confidence that affected me, and feeling like I was climbing up a mountain and not making it up to the top, unless it came to playing sports or dancing, and because I would do badly in tests and remember dreading Secondary School, being so different to primary school.
I did go on to the sixth form year of my school, and felt I had a good level of freedom, but to be honest I had enough of education, and then started working, and I did write a blog about how I found work life, was good for me, and my knowledge of the world thrived and enjoyed the working environment and started going out around London, and on the first full time job, was taken from London to Lille on The Euro star and, parts I found hard, it wasn’t always great, but loved the fact I was earning my own money and forming relationships that was fun, and I am so glad I had that time to just enjoy my teens and early twenties.
It is important to enjoy the early years and when it comes to Christrmas, to embrace the people you love in your life and not worrying about it being better than the last, which I often have felt, because life isn’t a competition, and getting rid of resentment and begruding each other success, is important, because that is only going to flare other negative emotions and can lead you being alone. Pay each other compliments and really listening to people and celebrate each others achievements and how they are building their life.
Live life together and stop knocking it down.
If you feel your life is going backwards then Reset, and Relfect. This is where keeping a journal helps, going through things that you feel is causing you to have these feelings. That is what they are, feelings that can be controlled. This is where my Autumn Reset can help, and help finish tasks, to then start a fresh, and I will go through my lists and set a plan to get things finished, making sure I leave time to have some fun. Weekends I spend with my son, having plenty of exercise, watching TV I don’t always get to watch, in the week and just having time to hug, kiss and take in every minute. Life can be tiring, and it okay to be tired, we are all human, and that we spend time having a nice hot bath, read a book, doing some retail therapy, and not to be buy clothes but food we love to eat, stuff to decoarate our homes with and buying new things for our kids and bringing smiles to everyone in your life, faces.
Getting to A to B in life shapes you, depending on the paths you have chosen and if things haven’t worked out, brush yourself off and carry on.
Yes it is that time now where I share my monthly newsletter of what is coming up and share tips on various things and this month is all about getting ready for Christmas.
Everyone can build a castle 
