Hello, it is time to start a new week, and means getting our to do’s written on what you want to accomplish today, and in forming good habits, can help with having a good day and week, so check out this weeks, Cheat Sheet which I post on this channel and parenting channel, https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.com
Many thanks for reading, and if you wish to share this sheet and blog then please do. Lets work together to help us to enjoy life and getting out life together.
Hi and welcome to my blog! I am posting every Monday a cheat sheets to help you manage your day and manage your life and my one for today is about Making life Simple and stop betting overwhelmed in getting your life together.
You have to make the right choices for you. It means saying no, but finding what is right, and if it doesn’t then that is fine. Saying yes because you feel obliged to, is not making the right choice, because you are not doing it for you and if it is going to stress you out and fill you with dread, then means you have to change it and go down a different path. This doesn’t mean you won’t succeed it just there can be many roads to take to reach the things you want to do in your life.
If it is not for you, then it is not for you. Not everything is going to workout, and if someone says no to you, then that is okay too. Trust yourself in making the right decision, journal or talk to someone who can help you, and reflect on why on this occasion something has not worked out, or doesn’t feel right.
Dip your toe in. Test it out. Research and try it out. There is no harm in giving things a go, before you make your mind up. I remember when I was first looking for work, just leaving school and was interested in working in fitness, and was offered work experience for the day, to see how it felt and it wasn’t for me at that time and wanted to work in a football club, and was successful, and worked at a local football club as a steward and did work experience too helping the Groundsman and then found my office job whilst doing that in London.
I did some football training, with the Fulham ladies and it was only a few sessions, and made me decide that I wanted to coach, and gain experience. I was a little regretful as my confidence really affected me in going, but I am glad I still gave it a try. Twenty or so years later I did an FA qualification whilst working in a call center and got to manage my own team, and learned from it, so it still taught me a lot and now we are in 2024 going to “Grow” which is my word for this year. It was progression but grow fits better and get another book published, do more training and looking for work outside and continue to grow as a writer, and have a lot of great things planned and it is planning that can help decide on where you want to go next in your life that will boost your feelings and raise your happiness, to not allow times when it didn’t workout, affect you, in following your dreams.
I always wanted to write a book, and as a kid I liked writing, but stopped and now found my love again, in writing and now written 5 books, which are on amazon my most recent being a comedy called Mum&Me. I now am writing three books, a book called When Mothers Are Real and Behind the eyes of the other woman, and Mum&Me book 2, and it was by watching TV that I discovered self publishing, and I really enjoy it, and now looking to work outside, and finish my courses I have enrolled on, to help build my knowledge and understanding of the human mind, and children and young people by educating myself, to help grow my blogs and books, to help you my audience, to find happiness and live a life they love.
Listening to the right people, who can give you the right support you need can make all the difference, and there are many ways to train and learn, without it being too much and if it is affordable. Last year via a careers service received some free training and I want to learn more interventions, to help people and getting to know the mind.
Our minds are constant running machines and it can either work for you or against and want to learn about how to, being a mum for example communicate more affecting to my son who had ADHD and is on the Autism Spectrum. Why we can be positive one minute and down the next.
Reading books about topics you want to learn more about, can be really helpful. I am currently on Audible listening to Atomic Habits and want the physical book, I have read to help me with my writing, Save the Cats Write a Novel and again want the physical book because I felt it helped and continue to learn as a writer, and want to do more writing courses.
So, never stop believing in yourself and trust your gut instinct. If you say no that is fine. It is all about what makes us happy, and lowering the expectation we set for ourselves.
Life is terbulent and you made the wrong decision. How do you make it right, and can I get back on my feet? I had terrible anxiety at one time over an event that I thought was happening, when it wasn’t and then thought I was being followed and kept having fears that others were being hurt and I was frightened, and that other things were going on, and I hit rock bottom.
I was scared about my son going to school, and went into hospital and it really helped me. Life was getting too much, and going into hospital finally helped get over it. I am now back on my feet, Making sense of my life and concentrated on looking after my son, writing and getting an income again and get back out in the world and put it all behind me.
You have to move on. It takes time, and just making changes just one change, can really help you to move on and be happy and content, and become resillient and aware of triggers that an cause the anxiety and not feeling in fear and thinking terrible things were going on.
I was very depressed. I felt like the world was against me and was thinking things that wasn’t true and with help of my family, I found myself again and now I am in full recovery, I am no longer having home help, which I received by the Surrey Crissis Intervention team and then Merton Mental Health Intervention team and I am still on medication, but I no longer have to visit every two weeks or so and am back in reality and been doing courses, published another book, Mum&Me on amazon, and been looking for outside work, in healthcare and Childcare and exercising too.
My son and I spend time travelling on trains and walking. I back doing Youtube weekly vlogs, and sit down videos talking about managing my money, and have an educational channel too.
Anyway to get back your feet, live for the now and each day. I don’t want you think that I am boasting, about getting over my Mental Health problems, just showing how I got back on my feet, and this was by making sure I went to my regular hospital appointments and taking their advice, and concerntrating on the things that give me joy and understanding mental health, and using techniques given to me, to help me manage my mind and look after my wellbeing, so I don’t feel scared and that it happened, but now is over, and using what happened, to help me feel stronger than ever, and focusing on the good things I have in my life.
I want to learn about the mind, that I don’t already know and help others to rebuild their life and helping other parents, with understanding a childs mind and new interventions, and trying methods to continue to build my own wellbeing and learn using the free tools given to me, to help stop me from going back down that road. One was traffic light system, so green where it is steady and your in control of your thoughts and feelings, amber that you are in between feeling good or bad and red that you are back to having dark thoughts, following a pattern of negative behaviour and feeling low and scared again.
This is just an example. When it comes to Mental Health, it is unique for each person, but it is following good habits and educating yourself on how to manage your thoughts and feelings, It can really help you get back on your feet. Also learning not to panic and be calm if for example, my fear of losing stuff and just concentrate on finding it and having people help you and not allowing it to affect your wellbeing to take action to find what you have lost and not have sleepness nights.
I am no longer dreading each day, but look forward to what the day will bring, and keeping myself busy and enjoying my days going out and to different environments. Last weekend it was my mums birthday lunch which was a surprise and got to see my cousins again, and friends. It didn’t go smoothly, due to traffic problems and good to have a meal and catchup and would like to do that again, and was good to see those that I don’t always see because my family live in various places and so it is hard to get my whole family together, but seeing those not seen for a long time, reminded me how I have missed those times and enjoyed it, and seeing different faces and visiting new places can help, when it comes to your wellbeing and plan your days so you can have a good day without living in fear of life.
So, first of all:
Get help
Take action by making step by step changes and habits
Learning the triggers that can make you relapse and get support
Change your habits and get back into doing things you enjoy and make you feel happy about life
Get outdoors and meet up with friends and family
Ecucate and learn about your mind and share your story if you feel comfortable to help others and build a community to support each other and get back on your feet
Doing an Autumn Reset, I have to have a reason to do it and a goal, to move onto the next stage of my life. For me it is because I like to have projects completed and learn from them as I continue so I can create more blogs, and more content and build my income and because I enjoy my writing and sharing my life with you, as I like being part of the online community and to so wanted to help others complete tasks, to build more sustainable life, that they put themselves first sometimes.
Being an adult now. and being a mum, I have responsibilities and it can pile up and up, and make you feel like say “Sod it, I’m gonna what a TV series instead” and that is okay, because for me that is a sign I am doing too much, so now I use Autumn to catch up on things that I had to put a side, for the summer holidays and why also I developed my Life Coaching programme too, Summer Project which is to help you have a better life and better year, and can be used also for all year round, but meant that I had to put the work on my next book to one side, and do a little, and now I have completed the second edit of my book, feels so good, and having minimal stuff, and sorting out my bedroom in Wimbledon, see the space I have from doing that, and clears my mind, and be more functional room and everything has a home, and getting rid of what I don’t want, and that I may use one day and still in a years time, be there still untouched.
Don’t feel as though you have to do it, as I am not in charge of your life, you are, and may not work for everyone,.but I find it has been helpful to me and so I am sharing my Autumn Reset, because I know it can help, and because I know many people like me, find it hard to work one project at a time and become a chore rather than enjoying the process of working on projects that need completing, to restart for the New year in January. Then there is Christmas and very busy time of year, so implemented so I can focus on enjoying get ready for the festive season, and have birthdays coming up that I need to focus on, and has helped manage my time better.
So, set goals, create a plan and ask yourself, what do you want out of this years Autumn Reset? And please if you want to share then please do, you can by leaving a comment below.
Just to let you know I have books already published on amazon, under the names. Carrie Challoner and Carrie Holmes and on parenting and novels, including serious fiction and comedy too. They are on Kindle and on Paper, so please check them out.
So there aren’t many things I don’t like doing, I find editing a real challenge and that is my books and videos and need to have more fun doing these things, which I am still trying to establish. I am not a fan of cleaning. I know some love it, but for me I’d rather watch paint dry, yet I still, because what I do like is that the long lasting result and feelings when it is done, is do it and it helps brighten up my feelings and going through a transition because now, after being a hoarder for so long, want to own less and be wiser on what I buy and working on my finances and getting this back in shape, has made a huge difference and exercising.
Doing a reset can really help, because it can help to get back on track and how I created my Autumn Reset and there are others do the same, and what helped me with mine, and want to encourage you to do the same, so you have a clearer mindset.
I don’t always like a routine as such now, but like being productive and making sure I prioritize and have family time and not being on my laptop all day and I enjoy the process of having a clear out and I enjoy having projects, because I like connecting with people and want to do more social events, to build more friendships and build myself, to grow.
Laziness used to be my biggest habit and would have days where I’d still be in my PJ’s and have lazy days but looking back to those days, doing this made me feel even more tired, and so changed this by focusing on preparing myself for each day, and not always setting the alarm. As a kid in the Autumn and Winter when it started to get cold and dark, wish I could hibernate like animals as getting up is still a struggle for me and this morning I did did go back to bed, but, then thought “No, get up” and I did.
Alarms used to piss my right off, and would get on my nerves and hated setting it, especially on my old phone, that would tell me how many hours I had to sleep and then would spend all night worrying about the time, and wanted to smash them. I never did, how much I was tempted, but just would be by worst enemy.
Then there was going to school. I never got used to routine of school and would never sleep on a Sunday night knowing I had school again, and wished we had a longer weekend. Looking back I would do a reset by making sure I did my homework, but would be done last minute and wished I never got started, and now I like education, and I think it is because I can more of less do it in my own time, and hated being forced to do it, on subjects I had no interest in.
Doing things the night before can help or for short bursts. Just now as I write this blog tidied the table in the living room and vacuumed the floor and will pretend to ignore the mess, but seeing the result by cleaning up, helps my wellbeing and gives good energy to get tasks done and completed.
It can be so easy procrastinate and sit watch TV all day and spending all day in bed, and every morning of the week I get that fatigue and think I will, once my son goes off to school, get some extra sleep, and so I? No, I will go out for the walk and as soon as my alarm goes off I get dressed and this helps me to not get back into bed, and start my day, seeing my son off to school and thankful to his dad, as he will help too and would miss it, if he didn’t, and so truly thankful for that.
Delegate duties can make a difference, of things you don’t like doing. I no longer like clothes shopping. I get the buzz at first if I see items I like, but then quite quickly the momentum is gone, and hate shopping during the Christmas period, or Black Friday, and so avoid the shops at all costs, when this is going on, and so will plan ahead and getting tasks completed can help with that, because frees the time I have to get ready for Christmas and what to buy and not need to shop on the high street if I don’t have too.
So there are ways around it and focus on what we do like doing.
I would really like you to tell me, in the comments below of things you don’t like doing and tips you may have in getting them done. Your feedback is truly welcomed.
So this years Summer Project is nearly over and have one last blog to share. I really hope you gained something from it, and please in the comments below, give me your feedback as it really helps me grow my blogs and that you keep on liking these blogs and subscribe, and you will be alerted everytime I publish a new blog.
Self care and development is what is is all about, and making sure you put yourself first on some days and have a life you are happy with. Of course there are events that are beyond our control, like a loss of someone and something, but having resilience and determination, you can rebuild your life to be better and listen to your feelings, and address them.
Taking time out from everyday life and having new experiences and meeting new people, to build new relationships and making existing relationships stronger than ever, and being with people who will listen to you aswell as listening to them.
See that you deserve a happy life and you are worth the things in your life, and the relationships. You should treat yourself and make deals with yourself as I find rewarding helps me to get things done, and not procrastinate and taking my time, and taking it easy.
Life isn’t about rushing around, but having peace and if you can’t be bothered then it could be that you are doing too much and need to reevaluate your life and making changes, so you feel excited and not crawling through tasks, but will give you good results. Also taking a break and getting rest, so you properly recharge and feel full of energy to have a good life that you love.
Soon I will be starting my Autumn reset and so once I do my final blog then my Autumn Reset will begin and so a lot more content to come.
My mental state was bad and it has taken me a lot to get my life back on track, but planning is always the one thing that gets me through it. I like planning my days and focusing on having a good day, whatever has tried not knock me off the path I have been going through, to be fully recovered. I did a video talking about a couple of days ago, when I went to pick up my prescription and bought a cold coffee, only to drop it as I was running for the bus back, check out my video here: https://youtu.be/L_bU-FKqtOQ and so not everything goes to plan, but I still got my prescription and I still made it back indoors to record the video above, talking about Using what you’ve got .
When unplanned events happen, it can take a while to get over and I believe in, allowing yourself to grieve and take time in coming to terms that sometimes you have to start again, to continue to grow as a human being, and that is exactly what I have had to do.
I started to get back on my feet by spending time away from my friends and family, and was helped with getting my life together, by having an income again and being reunited with, family and my son, and able to see him off to school and back. Getting in contact with friends via social media, and now looking to be connected to others again, as I do miss going out with friends and family again.
Never plan too big at first, and focus on one or two things, at a time. I began to Understand the condition I had and learned about the triggers, should I feel like I am having relapse, and learning about different mental health conditions. I did this by doing some free courses, and they have helped me, with these blogs, because I love to learn and educate myself. It is a great way to rebuild your life. I did some painting which I haven’t done in years and started walking again. Walking small distances, and exploring new places, getting back into writing books, and exercise is good for recovery as it does give you, good energy and it helps me to listen to my body that can help with my mind, by retuning positive feelings.
Healing relationships by forgiving and forgetting, and addressing the causes. Make a plan to see your friends again and spend time with family, and have them help you in recovery, You don’t have to go through recovery on your own.
Having a good sort out on things that you want to let go off and make plan to do this. Again get help. My mum helped me when I came out of hospital, and recently done a declutter, and doing this regularly can help the feelings of being overcrowded with stuff.
I am in a good place now and feel like my life is taking shape. There are still so much I wish to do, but taking it one step at a time.
Remember I do have books available on happiness and wellnesses, along with fictional books. You can find these on amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
When my son was born premature it really scared me and didn’t have any idea of what was going to happen next. I had no inkling that Henry was going to be born early and I shut down any thinking of the future, and I am a planner. The evening my waters broke I was going through my diary of how many weeks I had to go and that evening i went to hospital and then on the Monday of being in hospital from the Saturday, my son was born, and I never felt so frightened in my life and if my son was going to be okay.
I love taking pictures of London and good way of helping trauma that has helped me, is taking pictures and people I love.
Yes having a child is a miracle and I did want children but it was the shock, that made me shut down and for once was not worrying about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I cried a lot. Taking one day at a time I just concentrated on doing what I could to feed Henry my milk and readjusting, when I could visit my son in hospital I did and helped with feeding, having cuddles and changing him, and take it step by step.
For me that is the best way, and just taking it slow.
Life has a way of surprising us, so it is important to live each day at a time. Yes I am into goal setting, but I do set goals daily as they arise and try not to worry about tomorrow all of the time. My Keyworkers, when my mental health wasn’t good, both said to take each day at a time, and is about getting back to recovery state so enjoy the days with my son, and rebuilding relationships that were on the brink of falling apart and concentrate on my health and on my environment. Getting back to doing the things I love, like blog writing, going for walks and spending time with my son.
I hope these blogs help you and lets support one another.
Yesterday was a really lovely day. It was almost affected coming back because of going through the gate at our local station, but there will always be those who think they are more important than you, and yes I did get annoyed but now it is the next day, I am not going to allow that, to ruin the joy I had yesterday.
Picture I took of the Shepperton Loch which was so lovely and recommend.
We went to Shepperton, which I have never been before and filmed a week in a life, coming soon, for my main youtube channel, where I post weekly vlogs, (https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal) and there was issues with the trains too, but had a nice meal in a local pub, called the Alex back in Wimbledon and in Shepperton visited the Loch and Canal there, which really helped with my mind and clear the cobwebs and we did some walking and completed over 11,000 steps and helped me in my thoughts.
Visiting a different place where you have never been before can really help, along with the weather too.
I know there are people who don’t always get to go out, and find commuting difficult, so if you can help them, then why not offer to take them out. My Uncle had a stroke some years ago, and it really turned his life upside down, and so my mum and aunty along with other family members would take him out and take him to see his daughter and grandchildren.
Our minds can get overwhelmed with every day challenges, so getting outdoors, seeing friends and family, doing a puzzle, listening to music and a hot bath for example, can really help in have peace and doing a brain dump and journaling your thoughts and feel at peace with our mind, which can help the body.
What can also help is extra rest, especially if you are a parent and work full time for example. All the things we need to remember and a overacting mind, which has been what I have suffered with. As soon as put my head on my pillow at bedtime my thoughts start to think of blog ideas and remembering what I need to do the next day and the worst case scenario and so taking time away from my phone and laptop and read, can be great in settling the mind.
Having clean and tidy spaces, and having a good drink you enjoy and catching up on a box set or doing a indoor workout, can all help to clear the head and relax the mind.
Its all about self care and development that leads to more positivity, and staying calm and feeling content with your thoughts, to your feelings.
Everyone can build a castle 