I write about this a lot on this blog but that it is so important to spend time giving yourself some self care that helps you develop and feel better about your life and we all need that time.
1>. Watching a movie after having a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine or a cup of tea.
2>. Going for a coffee by a river or lake when the weather is good and a picnic with a bottle of Rose’ wine and meet up with a friend to join you
3>. Going for a long walk and write in your journal with a take away coffee or one you made at home and meeting up with a friend you have not seen for a while
4>. Do some exercise if you are not into walking but like to workout indoors. Check our Youtube as there are loads of different workouts on there and completely free or there is Davina McCall Own your goals and the body coach, Joe Wicks: https://www.thebodycoach.com/ and why not invite a friend to join you as sometimes working with a friend can make it more fun and more likely to stick to it.
5>. Read a book with a blanket over you, and put your mobile on silent and create a do not disturb sign.
It is about making the time for you and not what you always get to do, and we all need that down time.
So lets make the most of being free when we have the chance and now the schools break up for the School Summer Holidays, the more self care we can get, the better.
I have always wanted to make the most of my life and build it step by step to have a good life. This has never changed and never thought that I would be doing what I do now, and that is writing and creating books, making videos on Youtube and writing blogs.
There was no such thing as a kid born in the late 70’s and so seeing the opportunities we have now I am now getting excited about life. I have a son that has shaped my life. Life hasn’t been a piece of cake, there have been some difficult times like my dad getting badly hurt when I was secondary school and sustained a very bad head injury and then being there when my grandparents died. These things that have happened has made me see how life is so precious and you have to make the most of everyday.
First of all make a list, set some goals you know you can achieve and start changing your life. I always new I wanted to be a mum one day and it happened unexpectantly, and didn’t always get it right and still don’t but seeing this little human grow has been one of the best dreams I have ever had that has come true and it has changed my perspective of life even further, by seeing the world through his eyes, and life doesn’t have to be difficult it is changing the way you look at things. I no longer multi task and do one thing at a time, and not having any sense of fear but life is about trial and error.
When achieving the dreams, accept challenges along the way, that is how we grown and when we do achieve our dreams it is so fulfilling.
Please check out books on amazon.co.uk as I have written many EBooks, on parenting, wellness and changing your life. I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I have added more to my Life Coaching board on my Pinterest see below:
Hello it is July and spent this morning sorting out my OneNote. If you don’t what that is, it is free programme where you can plan and create different tabs and add pictures and has so many different purposes.
No not sponsored, but if they’d like to one day then my door is open.
This blog is about giving things up. I know this can cause anxiety, so try one item a day to lower it and doesn’t have to be hobbies or food and drink but things like I was subscribed to, like Notion, because it is a good planning platform but already had a set up on my OneNote so unsubscribed, to save myself money and given things up has helped me to save and be more frugal. I am no longer buying too many snacks, and choose healthier options. I still eat chocolate but starting to monitor how much chocolate I have and not going to deprive myself but I don’t need so much. and concentrate on things that help me to function, like exercising, writing and spending time with my son, and help him improve his eating habits.
It can take a lot, but can really make you feel better when you start seeing that you have more space in your life and no longer paying for things that bring you down, and having things you do want, and add more happiness to your life. I gave up listening to music before bed, as it did effect my sleep and so listen to it when travelling and not having my phone by my bed, my sleep has been so much better. It still takes a while to get to sleep still on some nights but by winding down and reading before bed has helped to make it easier and sleep is so important to your wellbeing.
There are other things I wish to give up. One is to stop buying notebooks because they are pretty, but if I really need them. I have plenty to use and want to go more digital when it comes to planning, like using one note but my phone too, and for writing things down going to use my Filofax next month and follow Terri Savelle Foy method and have everything in one place, when it comes to notes and to do lists.
It doesn’t have to be materialistic things, but if there is someone who winds you down, then talk to them and explain to them that if they don’t stop can cause friction between you, and find it hard to be around them. This is hard to do, but if they don’t make you feel good then there is something that needs to stop and help them to give something up, like their issue they have with you and stop being so down and help them to be happy, by being positive and set boundaries and rules.
The one thing I don’t like is people being two-faced, or like to be center of attention all of the time. The world wasn’t made just for that one person and this is something I have been teaching my son when he gets obsessive and being clingy with his stuff. I made friends by sharing. When I was at school and I was seated with other children I would if I had a packet of crisps for example, offer them one and when I would play out with my friends and wanted an apple my nan or parents would cut up slices so my friends could have some too, or use my toilet in the flat I lived.
Not saying I am perfect but give up being selfish and share. I feel my role as a mum is to set a good example and that is not gossiping about someone behind their back and allow others to take center stage.
Give up what you know you no longer want in your life and allow yourself to grow and be happy.
Hello and welcome to a new blog. There has been times where I have felt I have let myself down, like when I had a chance to join the Fulham Ladies football team back in 1998, via my brother as he knew the Manager of the ladies soccer team, and I went twice and met a friend of mine from when I used to go to a dancing school, but getting myself there would take a lot and I would play images of not being good enough, not having natural skill and was way out of my comfort zone. I did play at Primary school and at Secondary, but because of hearing from one girl I played football with at school, said “Couldn’t even kick the ball” stopped playing at school. I feel that effected me when I should have ignored her and used it to show actually, I can kick a ball.
I felt bad, because my brother had gone to that effort and he bought me my own football boots, but I just couldn’t get myself there due to the movies I would play in head of feeling out numbered, and not being good enough.
This has helped me to make sure I take on opportunities as I did my Level 1 Football coaching qualification and did run a children’s football team for a while, and then I was going to do my level 2 coaching badge but once again my confidence got me and so decided not to continue.
Yet I did Manage a Football team The football team in that I was coaching was taken over my some of the boys dads, and was disappointed about that, and was going to suggest it, but when the Charmain of the club said that I can coach the next under 8’s team, and then coach a girls team they wanted to coach, I felt like, “What so because I am a woman I should be coaching women?” and left.
Anyway I found out I was pregnant and didn’t feel wise to continue, and so stopped and was good experience and did feel let down a little, because I was running the team by myself and should have had one of the parents to help manage the team, to help me. However I felt I did okay and would like to continue one day and do sports coaching again, and my aim was to coach a team from kids to teenage years, and further. This is still something I’d like to do, but it is a massive commitment and so see what the future holds.
When I worked in Contact Centre often felt like I let myself down by not getting good feedback on the telephones and I wasn’t rude, but found real tough when people would ring and complain and not knowing what to say and felt I could have done better. That’s life though we won’t always get it right but you have to get it wrong to make sure you get it right, whatever you do and life is about learning and growing.
Football teams for example like Manchester United were Champions of the Premiership, yet it took Alex Ferguson 4 years when he began managing the team that they started to win trophies and was put under enormous pressure and became unbeatable.
You know when you feel you have let yourself down, because you go through what if’s and play scenes of if I had taken up that opportunity where would I have been right now? Would I have gone on and become a professional Football coach by now? and really life is about choice and often we do choose the wrong path or it goes into a different direction, Again that is life.
Doesn’t mean that it won’t ever happen, and I didn’t always get it right being a football coach but they did win games and did improve their ability, and their skills, and did get messages from parents when I left thanking me, so it wasn’t all bad and I did enjoy it, just didn’t like how it ended.
I have written about this before Summer Project 2021/Build your expectations on your terms we all have expectations of ourselves and other people, because we fear disappointment. Yet it is good to have a level of expectation because it means we care about the things we have in our life.
Your expectations of ourselves can be tough, because we put so much on our shoulders that we can’t handle and leads us wanting to run rather than finishing tasks and get on with living our lives.
Lower the expectation, by taking your time and breathe and take in what is around you and keep planning your life and setting goals.
I would like to wish those who read my blogs in America a Happy 4th July and I bet you guys have a expectation for that, celebrating yearly events and special days. I have an expectation on my life coaching programme, because it is important that my audience, you guys, are getting something from them and writing my books, please check them out there are EBooks, about happiness and wellness, and have parenting books and fiction books.
You can find my books on amazon.co.uk under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
Having expectations sets us up but not to over do it. It also helps us to set boundaries and doing 1-5 tasks a day and set a time for each one. I love doing sprints when it comes to writing my books and at the moment I am editing my new book as my expectation is for it be better than my previous books and increase my skills and ambitions.
That is the good part of expectations and it is good to set challenges for yourself but ones that you know is going to help build your life but not stress and anxiety.
So set the bar each time to take action to complete goals but a height that you can reach and not make you give up.
Many thanks for liking my blogs so far, of my Summer Project 2023 and followed me it really means a lot and would suggest to do so if you want to be kept up to date with my blogs. I do write a newsletter each month, which I publish on this blog so check out June’s 2023: My Monthly Newsletter June 2023
Yes Yes Yes! NO this is not copying when Harry met Sally, if you remember that film, I have set my goals for the summer, ready for the next season and to grow. Setting goals helps me to accomplish the things I want to do, and help me get through challenges, like for example I want to do fundraising events again but worry that I am not fit enough and have had injuries in building my walking and running again.
Running and walking on uneven pavements can contribute to that so it important I continue to walk as much as possible and get my body used to it again. There will always be hurdles, and so use this when it comes to achieving your goals, not to exhaust yourself but to stir you on to complete them.
I separate my goals into three categories, Home, Work and Play.
So in home is anything like my finances and Henry, my son like getting ready to prepare for his new school,, work is like my blogs and youtube for example and hopefully be outside work soon, and play is going out to dinner, trips and playing with son having lots of fun.
Here a printable I made to help you begin your Summer Goals:
The summer me is getting outdoors and exploring and do things that you can’t do in the Autumn and Winter, like swimming outdoors and have a meal in the garden. Well I suppose you could do these things in the Autumn and Winter, but would need blankets and coats, but for the summer you don’t and just having a lunch outside of a restaurant can be uplifting and, so they don’t have to be serious goals but ones that you can almost feel the enjoyment and motivation already, just by jotting them down.
You can keep; track of my blogs but following me and if you’d like to share you goals the please do. You can comment below..
I bet you have watched the X Factor or BGT, that many say when they do the auditions, that this is their last chance, but what if you had one chance? I wrote in my last blog about Dealing with Knockbacks and that to keep trying to do what you dream of doing, yet sometimes you do only get the one chance, for example: Being on a quiz show or game show, as it lets other people have a go, or winning the lottery.
I read a book by Paul McKenna some years back and he asked in this books, it was Building your confidence in seven days, and for me it would be to travel and explore with my son, and raise money for a charity and have a house built.
So what would you do if you only had one chance of achieving your dreams?
What steps would you follow?
I would clear my credit card debt, build up my savings,
Decide on the fundraising events I’d like to do and train for them and walk and run whenever possible again and continue as long as my legs allow me to do
Save enough to have the money to have a house built, by creating numerous income streams and have a bank account for building the house of my dreams.
Please leave details of what you would do in the comments below.
You have to make things happen for yourself, and it has taken me a long time to realise that and so I make the most of my days and weeks, and months now. I want to make sure I create good memories for my son, and it is up to me to do that and receives the best education, and learning about places and life skills such baking and cooking, reading, writing, how to wash their clothes and keep things nice and tidy. That has to come from me and his dad, and making sure that his needs are met and the same for us too being parents and be a role model.
If people see you achieving your dreams a lot of people will follow and be inspired, and life as it is, we never know if we are going to live or die, that really is out of our control, and so living each day to the fullest is how you can do the things you want, have happiness in your life. It is not about money, that is a necessity, but about how it makes you feel and the people around you.
Ok so you went for a job interview, got ready and put on some make up, did your hair and dressed smart and prepped for it, only to hear that once again you haven’t been unsuccessful. Often we can feel that we have wasted our time, but your not able to see who else applied for that job and what skills they had that you didn’t.
Often it could be that the company who you applied for, may have already had someone in mind and so you didn’t stand a chance anyway, even if you had worn your best suit or dress. I felt like that when I applied for a position to work with the email and chat team at a call centre I was working for. I had been there for a while and felt that it would be a perfect fit, but no someone else got it, who had been there less, and I felt a bit like, “Thanks for being loyal” being that I had been there four years and not had a day off sick, never been late and did a good job because they’d tell me, and so would the customers I would help. I was doing technical support.
Also I was the first person to work on the chat system they created, and I changed departments because I was finding it hard doing technical support for certain products that I didn’t understand and wanted a change, and so it was agreed that I could change, but then the deal was that I would work on the chat system which they wanted to test for a new product and see how effective it was, and whilst on chat would do emails to help out the email team, and it wasn’t just me others had joined me and it would be rotated so others worked on the chat system, did emails, whilst I help customers on the phones. I then was called into the office on one shift and offered the chance to move to the email team, along with working on the online chat service, and so, never give up. Just because you didn’t get the job this time, round doesn’t mean you won’t, you just have to keep trying and show them what you are capable of and worked my hard and was eventually awarded by the job I was doing.
Determination for me is everything and I have had a lot of knock backs, and I did when I was looking for work to work at a Holiday camp. I gave myself two years and it was the second year I was successful. Often people want to see how keen you are, and you see singers on the voice, who have already had record deals, and had to start their career from scratch again. Like Wendy Moten, who won the Voice on the USA version and was shocked because she did do some brilliant records, her famous one “Coming out of the rain”, and so knocks backs are okay, and learn from them to help continue building the life you want, and the job you want.
When it comes to relationships. I have been dumped by boyfriends, not having that many, and yes at first I’d be upset but then soon got over it, and if they aren’t meant to be so be it, but never fear, I did get married and had a son so now looking back, glad I was dumped because I would never have met my husband or had my son.
Life is full of hurdles Obstacles (jumping hurdles) and never should stop you for following your dreams and achieving your goals. I am never gong to allow anyone stop me from living my life and the same should be for you. You deserve a life full fun and happiness. So allow the knock backs in your life to help you not destroy you.
Yes, finding things that have a huge impact on you. This can be that you want more love from people because you feel a lone at the moment, so it is time to go out and find like minded people and this could be going to church or just on a date with yourself, keeping safe of course, but listening to @RealTalkKim she says that you aren’t likely to meet anybody if you are with a group of girls, and I met my husband working at a Holiday camp and it for once felt comfortable and didn’t feel nervous at all, and you can meet people in many different places like that. I was quite late in my life in the dating game
If you want more friends in your life then go out with your existing friends and rather than saying no to meeting up, say yes, and set a date of when you can and go out. I have met a lot of people through other friends. Example I made friendships through a friend when going to watch a Rugby League team and met others along the way, when I kept going, and was a fun and with a fantastic group of people.
You may want more structure in your life and for me I want to be a minimalist and not be surrounded by stuff and not be bogged down, so slowly I am making that happen by having a sort out each day and looking at pictures on Pinterest of how I would like my work station to look like, and still have all I need around me, its just overcrowded and so want to have less space to do more.
Then there are physical changes. I have lost weight and a lot of my clothes are now too big, so been going through my clothes and shoes and items that no longer make me happy in wearing and put them in recyclable bin where my son goes swimming at the weekend, and also invest more in looking after my skin.
I have been really enjoying my weekend walks with my son in the mornings in the day time, and makes me feel that my physical health as got a lot better and no longer feeling fatigued all day and do take Iron tablets to help with that and feels good to have my energy back.
It is simple things like that, that can really matter to you, and either gives you joy, or not. Fitting things in your life that makes you excited rather then dread, help you grow and find the pieces to your jigsaw that brings you endless amounts of love and compassion.
I wanted to write this because to have life full of happiness, you got to make changes that will help you grow into the person you want to be and the life you want to live. Check out my blogspot blog about Getting all done, as this is linked to this blog post.
You have to create a plan, one that gives you excitement as soon as you start to write it down, and build a mind map. I use this technique a lot, along with brainstorming. Create a vision board. I use Pinterest like many, but you can do this on a white board, or on a piece of paper even. It’s about building and improving how you feel about yourself, and the life you have.
Perhaps you need to change your job, because you are bored or feel overworked and resenting it each day. Boy have I been there. Researching though it is believed that 74% of people are very satisfied with working in the UK, according to google. It all depends what the employer offers you in return to the work you do, for their company. Travel can be an issue and pay.
Whatever area in your life you are not happy about, it is time to make a change.
Set yourself a challenge or challenges. The one area I have been trying to sort out is my finances and rebuilding a positive relationship with it. So I have been doing a weekly check on my money and write down everyday of any money spent and having no spend days, and go through what I have paid out at the end of the week and what has gone in.
I have been doing a lot more walking again to cut down on my travel costs, on a daily and weekly basis and because I want to take part in Charitable and fundraising walks again. I want to build more income to save, and invest in having a big holiday again. I am going through where I can save money wherever possible. Example: not buying coffees from the coffee shop, and use my instant coffee, that takes me ages to use up, and not buying snacks all of the time.
I did no spend January challenge this year and will do again, because I have been able to put money into my savings again, and cut down on where my money goes.
By setting challenges, it helps to make quick changes, and complete unfinished task.
Set yourself an Itinerary. I did this whilst sitting in the garden and what are my main goals for 2023 and 2024. I find it hard to concentrate on one thing at a time, and so doing things like this helps me stay focused, of what I really want to complete and accomplished by the end of these two years. I suppose it is a bit like doing forecast.
Check out this free printable, to see what I mean:
I was watching an event that Tony Robbins was hosting on Youtube last night and so glad I manage to catch it as it was really good to map out a plan of building areas in my life I not happy with. I will link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPchhI_fPQk
He talked about do a like a wheel of life to measure where you life is at, here’s an example:
With Tony’s he separated them into seven different segments, Physical/body, Emotions and meaning, Relationships/conspire, Time, career and mission and finances. and contribution and spirituality. Then mark between 0 being nothing, you are not in a relationship to 10, you are in a relationship and are completely happy with it.
So, next tips, take part or join in live events. They are such an insight into how to manage your life and getting a lot out of it. Rather sitting doing nothing, hoping that someone will come an rescue you. You have to do it and last nights was completely free.
You want to get life together then it is time to do it.
Everyone can build a castle 