Hello and welcome! It is Monday again and it is time for another Cheat Sheet which are completely free to download and please share if you wish.
This weeks Cheat Sheet is about Spending time with friends which can be so good for you and have a catch up and rather than being on your own all the time invite a friend to join you.
Social interaction can be a good source of therapy, sharing your problems and doing things you can enjoy with somebody else, like working out together, going out and share a flask of coffee or tea, and grow your relationships.
It is Monday again and last week it was my sons half term break and now is back to school, I am back setting my tasks for the week.
This weeks Cheat Sheet is about Getting back from a break as it good to forget to do’s and have fun with your kids, and then getting back to the regular routine once the break is over.
It is coming to the end of 2023 and soon it will be 2024 and it is time to celebrate another year, whether it was good or bad, and there we can’t change whats gone but can start a fresh and let go of regrets and live for each day that you are alive.
I will be setting goals and thinking of the habits I want to continue with, and what I need to change to have more shape in my life and not be so far ahead but enjoy each day the best I can and not thinking all about the future but now. Today I went for a walk and was getting anxious about going and had was having second thoughts, but went and felt so good, and take in my surroundings and check out the shops and managed to buy more gifts and got one more to get, and then I am done, but forget that I need a few things still for my son to buy, but for others, are done for 2023.
I do like planning and making lists, but as I grow each day and making sure I am present with my son and other friends and family and let go of the passed, and the wins I have had. I would like to take this opportunity in saying thanks to those subscribng to my blogs on this site and others, and on my Youtube and Instagram and my other sociall media platforms.
I wrote a blog post a while back called Letting it go, Autumn Reset Day 11: Letting things go if there are things that serve no purpose in your life anymore, then let it go, to pass it to someone else, who may want it instead.
Your commitement to your life, is about you before helping someone else and thats not being selfish. I need to make sure I am fully rested to spend time with my son and meet his needs and making sure I wake up to see him off to school and when he comes back, and develop my own knowledge of life, to help support his.
I need to manage my personal hygiene, so my son knows how important it is, and help to stay healthy and helps with my confidence to help his, and that I wake up to start the day on a good knote, so my others around me can feel the same. This world is not for one person but for everyone on it, and that I look after stuff to look after my sons stuff. Helping one another through life challenges and that I get back on my feet to set an example for others to follow.
So, make a commitment to manage your life and that you learn to love yourself to love others.
I have created a new video for my Youtube channel My way of living, about Committing to using up what you already have: https://youtu.be/8fj0u2RHyGY
Since a kid I have loved donating to others and when we had a fete on the housing estate I lived in Hammersmith, I would donate clothes for the jumble sale they had, and loved giving to good causes.
I would watch and donate to Children in Need and Comic Relief and now I want t help out in food banks and donate food and would like to do a monthly haul to give away to a local food bank, to feed families in the UK and the other countries and make a real difference.
Or donate money to them to help feed families and homes, that can’t afford groceries in supermarkets as the prices increase. How is somebody able to live when everything is going up and increasing.? More should be done.
Next year I am going to do walks again for Charity and raise money for good causes. I loved doing this and helps me get fit and grow myself, so why not join me. If you have tips on fundrsaising then please comment below, I love sharing knowledge to help give support and build a community that gives us all a boost to live our lives the best we can and make a difference.
I am gong to begin by buying food that someone can have for at Christmas and be able to buy a contribute in having a Christmas meal or things like Mince Pies and tinned vegetables and something that have long shelf life, and still celebrate, rather than just having whatever meal they have, to feed their family and donate things like Crackers and Puddings, and just making sure they can still enjoy the seasion, and buy a gift to donate for chilidren that may not have one, because of their parents not able to buy them a gift, and often the Supermarkets will have a Christmas appeal to help feed families, So check them out.
So, lets give and change the world and its poverty.
Life is terbulent and you made the wrong decision. How do you make it right, and can I get back on my feet? I had terrible anxiety at one time over an event that I thought was happening, when it wasn’t and then thought I was being followed and kept having fears that others were being hurt and I was frightened, and that other things were going on, and I hit rock bottom.
I was scared about my son going to school, and went into hospital and it really helped me. Life was getting too much, and going into hospital finally helped get over it. I am now back on my feet, Making sense of my life and concentrated on looking after my son, writing and getting an income again and get back out in the world and put it all behind me.
You have to move on. It takes time, and just making changes just one change, can really help you to move on and be happy and content, and become resillient and aware of triggers that an cause the anxiety and not feeling in fear and thinking terrible things were going on.
I was very depressed. I felt like the world was against me and was thinking things that wasn’t true and with help of my family, I found myself again and now I am in full recovery, I am no longer having home help, which I received by the Surrey Crissis Intervention team and then Merton Mental Health Intervention team and I am still on medication, but I no longer have to visit every two weeks or so and am back in reality and been doing courses, published another book, Mum&Me on amazon, and been looking for outside work, in healthcare and Childcare and exercising too.
My son and I spend time travelling on trains and walking. I back doing Youtube weekly vlogs, and sit down videos talking about managing my money, and have an educational channel too.
Anyway to get back your feet, live for the now and each day. I don’t want you think that I am boasting, about getting over my Mental Health problems, just showing how I got back on my feet, and this was by making sure I went to my regular hospital appointments and taking their advice, and concerntrating on the things that give me joy and understanding mental health, and using techniques given to me, to help me manage my mind and look after my wellbeing, so I don’t feel scared and that it happened, but now is over, and using what happened, to help me feel stronger than ever, and focusing on the good things I have in my life.
I want to learn about the mind, that I don’t already know and help others to rebuild their life and helping other parents, with understanding a childs mind and new interventions, and trying methods to continue to build my own wellbeing and learn using the free tools given to me, to help stop me from going back down that road. One was traffic light system, so green where it is steady and your in control of your thoughts and feelings, amber that you are in between feeling good or bad and red that you are back to having dark thoughts, following a pattern of negative behaviour and feeling low and scared again.
This is just an example. When it comes to Mental Health, it is unique for each person, but it is following good habits and educating yourself on how to manage your thoughts and feelings, It can really help you get back on your feet. Also learning not to panic and be calm if for example, my fear of losing stuff and just concentrate on finding it and having people help you and not allowing it to affect your wellbeing to take action to find what you have lost and not have sleepness nights.
I am no longer dreading each day, but look forward to what the day will bring, and keeping myself busy and enjoying my days going out and to different environments. Last weekend it was my mums birthday lunch which was a surprise and got to see my cousins again, and friends. It didn’t go smoothly, due to traffic problems and good to have a meal and catchup and would like to do that again, and was good to see those that I don’t always see because my family live in various places and so it is hard to get my whole family together, but seeing those not seen for a long time, reminded me how I have missed those times and enjoyed it, and seeing different faces and visiting new places can help, when it comes to your wellbeing and plan your days so you can have a good day without living in fear of life.
So, first of all:
Get help
Take action by making step by step changes and habits
Learning the triggers that can make you relapse and get support
Change your habits and get back into doing things you enjoy and make you feel happy about life
Get outdoors and meet up with friends and family
Ecucate and learn about your mind and share your story if you feel comfortable to help others and build a community to support each other and get back on your feet
So this years Summer Project is nearly over and have one last blog to share. I really hope you gained something from it, and please in the comments below, give me your feedback as it really helps me grow my blogs and that you keep on liking these blogs and subscribe, and you will be alerted everytime I publish a new blog.
Self care and development is what is is all about, and making sure you put yourself first on some days and have a life you are happy with. Of course there are events that are beyond our control, like a loss of someone and something, but having resilience and determination, you can rebuild your life to be better and listen to your feelings, and address them.
Taking time out from everyday life and having new experiences and meeting new people, to build new relationships and making existing relationships stronger than ever, and being with people who will listen to you aswell as listening to them.
See that you deserve a happy life and you are worth the things in your life, and the relationships. You should treat yourself and make deals with yourself as I find rewarding helps me to get things done, and not procrastinate and taking my time, and taking it easy.
Life isn’t about rushing around, but having peace and if you can’t be bothered then it could be that you are doing too much and need to reevaluate your life and making changes, so you feel excited and not crawling through tasks, but will give you good results. Also taking a break and getting rest, so you properly recharge and feel full of energy to have a good life that you love.
Soon I will be starting my Autumn reset and so once I do my final blog then my Autumn Reset will begin and so a lot more content to come.
I know this is counterproductive when I am a planner, I like to plan each day, but sometimes a good plan is when a plan was done last minute with no agenda., I decided to book to go to the Zoo in Battersea park yesterday, and was a good day. My son is very moany at the moment and so he was saying he didn’t want to go to the Zoo, because he wanted to see the London Eye again.
Yet once we were in the Zoo he was happy, and wanted to keep seeing the animals and is a lovely place to visit, and tomorrow we are going to North Greenwich, again, like we did on Monday, and got the UberBoat, and was so enjoyable.
I like when I am out to explore and travel into London even more, and one of the best nights out have often been ones when we have gone out and then wanted to stay out, and had a rememberable time. I remember my friend had drinks in the week for her birthday and we were having such a good time that we went onto a club. I did do the wrong thing, and missed work the next day, but was such a good evening, that neither one of my friends and I wanted to evening to end.
When I would go and watch a rugby league team, which would be mainly at the weekends, we would spend the rest of the evening to go up London and stay out. Yes this cost money, but was money well spent, and felt like I properly let my hair down and I have so many fun memories. Of course my life has changed, I am a mum now, but I do still like to be spontaneous sometimes and have fun, rather than doing the same thing all the time, and are some of the best times. Life is about enjoyment and spending time with those you love, who see life the same way you do, and like to make last minute plans and getting the most out of life.
I couldn’t do this all the time, because I live on a tight budget like many, and the whole the point is to do something different that you unable to do all of the time.
So, plan yes but if your life is getting boring then it is the same thing everyday, then it means you need to do new experiences and make last minute plans, like visiting a friend you have not seen for a long time or going to a place you have never been before, or for a long time, it can make you feel better about life and not see the same place all of the time.
Please check out my Pinterest, and you can see that I have pinned a lot of videos and blogs, along with my other blogs I write too.
When my son was born premature it really scared me and didn’t have any idea of what was going to happen next. I had no inkling that Henry was going to be born early and I shut down any thinking of the future, and I am a planner. The evening my waters broke I was going through my diary of how many weeks I had to go and that evening i went to hospital and then on the Monday of being in hospital from the Saturday, my son was born, and I never felt so frightened in my life and if my son was going to be okay.
I love taking pictures of London and good way of helping trauma that has helped me, is taking pictures and people I love.
Yes having a child is a miracle and I did want children but it was the shock, that made me shut down and for once was not worrying about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I cried a lot. Taking one day at a time I just concentrated on doing what I could to feed Henry my milk and readjusting, when I could visit my son in hospital I did and helped with feeding, having cuddles and changing him, and take it step by step.
For me that is the best way, and just taking it slow.
Life has a way of surprising us, so it is important to live each day at a time. Yes I am into goal setting, but I do set goals daily as they arise and try not to worry about tomorrow all of the time. My Keyworkers, when my mental health wasn’t good, both said to take each day at a time, and is about getting back to recovery state so enjoy the days with my son, and rebuilding relationships that were on the brink of falling apart and concentrate on my health and on my environment. Getting back to doing the things I love, like blog writing, going for walks and spending time with my son.
I hope these blogs help you and lets support one another.
A good cry can do wonders, yet many say it is a sign of weakness which I do not believe. If you have had trauma in your life it can take a long time to heal, and everyone bodies way of grieving is personal to them, and the words that get me is when someone says “Cheer up”, because it is more than having a bad day, it can be the hardest thing we’ve ever faced.
Trauma can happen at any time and really knock us off our feet, and so often a person needs space and given comfort and compassion, and support to help recover.
Find someone who will truly listen to you, without making judgement but will just take in what you are telling them and help you make sense of it. Also writing, this has always helped me and when my Dad was badly hurt and was in hospital for a while, it was spending time playing out with my friends, and was looked after by my grandparents and neighbours in the housing estate I used to live. I will always be grateful for that, because I remember feeling some confusing and tried to lower the trauma I was facing at that time, by playing out, it helped take my mind away with what was happening.
Allow yourself to feel and if you need a bit of space then let people around you know and have that time to just feel and think, and when my son was born, which was early, at 31 weeks, I couldn’t see him for the first week as I had a viral infection, and it broke my heart, so took time to rest to recover, as it was a traumatic birth and so got as much rest as I could get, but even sitting some where like near a pond or the sea, if possible, it can help with being peaceful and calming, and can do wonders in dealing with your feelings.
If you feel you need medical help then talk to the doctor and don’t get fogged off, they are there to help you and can put you in touch with the Mental Health teams in your area, I was supported by Surrey Mental Health team and then the Merton Mental health team. They have many thing that they can help you with. like, putting you in contact with a Career Specialist, that they put me in contact with when I was ready to work outside again , and with my finances and free courses, in the fields I have been interested in, and there is a Recovery College which do free courses, and will continue to help you as you recover.
So, I hope these blogs are helping you and if you’d like to be updated when I post a blog on this site then press the Subscribe button on the top left of this site.
When we feel low it often feels like we are falling down a hole and that there is nothing to enjoy and feel like hiding away. Start by going through your home that gives you comfort. For me right now I love sitting in front of my desk, listening to a video and writing this blog. I love sharing and helping you, and since I began this blog so much of my life has changed.
I am not going to force you to be thankful, because I have no knowledge of your life, but give tips, and so when I began to change my life, was when I had put on loads of weight and took up running. It was tough and I could have easily given up. I kept going, and went running along he seafront early in the morning so noone would see me, and with each run, my feelings towards my life, got better.
Now I enjoy walking, and I discovered my love from walking through running and so began to be thankful I had legs that can run or walk. You may be different, but finding a skill you didn’t know you had, can change that, and will help you to be thankful and there is a reason you are still here, and developing new relationships and visiting new places.
Moving away from home and following dreams to work in a holiday camp, I started to question my decision on deciding to do this, and was home sick for the first 3 weeks, but as I kept on getting used to living and working there, I began to enjoy being away and was grateful for this experience and met my husband and for while I was happy, this was before I began to feel low that I wrote about at the beginning of this blog.
There will always be bumps in the road in our life, but you can change it to be able to practice gratitude and has to begin right now, because if you are unhappy, with your life currently, it is time to make changes and enjoy life, to then be grateful.
When I became a parent I felt overwhelmed, and love my son, but felt like I had no idea of what to do, and kept feeling I was doing something wrong,, but watching him grow and becoming his own person, it has made me thankful that I am his mum and he is, my child and never thought I’d feel love like it. When he comes to have cuddles, it destroys my negative thoughts, as a parent and thankful for being able to grow this human being that I helped to create. I love at the moment playing football, with him and with his balloon. The other day we created a game with his balloon and so grateful for being able to play and create games to have fun and play.
I had really bad mental health illness, psychosis and it took me a lot to get back on my feet and recover, but with the help of my parents and mental health teams in Surrey and Merton, I am now recovered and can stand on my own two feet again, and thankful to my family and to my keyworkers, and the hospitals I stayed in, that helped me in this dark time I experienced.
So, as you build your life you will, hand on heart, start to see your life differently and who are thankful for you too.
Everyone can build a castle 