So this years Summer Project is nearly over and have one last blog to share. I really hope you gained something from it, and please in the comments below, give me your feedback as it really helps me grow my blogs and that you keep on liking these blogs and subscribe, and you will be alerted everytime I publish a new blog.
Self care and development is what is is all about, and making sure you put yourself first on some days and have a life you are happy with. Of course there are events that are beyond our control, like a loss of someone and something, but having resilience and determination, you can rebuild your life to be better and listen to your feelings, and address them.
Taking time out from everyday life and having new experiences and meeting new people, to build new relationships and making existing relationships stronger than ever, and being with people who will listen to you aswell as listening to them.
See that you deserve a happy life and you are worth the things in your life, and the relationships. You should treat yourself and make deals with yourself as I find rewarding helps me to get things done, and not procrastinate and taking my time, and taking it easy.
Life isn’t about rushing around, but having peace and if you can’t be bothered then it could be that you are doing too much and need to reevaluate your life and making changes, so you feel excited and not crawling through tasks, but will give you good results. Also taking a break and getting rest, so you properly recharge and feel full of energy to have a good life that you love.
Soon I will be starting my Autumn reset and so once I do my final blog then my Autumn Reset will begin and so a lot more content to come.
Yes so this is all about how make deals with myself, and I just did this now by promising myself if I do a home workout (exercise) then I can have another coffee. I am going to have my next coffee and watch another video on Youtube, and really enjoyed my workout. I do have a couple of fitness blog sites if you didn’t know, on WordPress and on google blogspot, please see these links:
This is the park in Epsom I like to walk through called Rosbery Park
I didn’t feel like walking this morning, but I did it by promising myself a Pain Eu chocolate with a cup of coffee that I had indoors and so now on my second and I am going to bloody enjoy it. Some may think this is counterproductive, but for me it is how I get stuff done and get focused.
I made a deal if I got what I needed, as I had shopping to pick up, that when I walked I could get the bus back and got one straight away which is unusual and tomorrow I am thinking a nice iced coffee whilst I walk and love it at the moment getting out in the morning, once my son has gone off to school, and feeling the cool air as it has been so hot in the day.
I have been on walks with my son too when he has come home from school, and to build my steps and completed another ring on my fitness app I have on my phone, and will have my dinner and by the time dinner time has come I have earned it. Tonight it is a home favourite Spaghetti Bolognese, and then often will play some more out in the garden with my son.
It helps me to be productive, and get my Life Coaching programme finished to then start my Autumn reset which will end by end of October 2023, and then it is getting ready for birthdays I have in my family and then getting ready for the festive season.
If you have read my blogs then you know I am that kind of person that likes to take her time, and if I can do something without rushing, I find I get may daily goals/to-do’s done and making the days as good as the next one.
So make promises to yourself and I can assure you, you will see positive results.
Its days when it is really hot outside where I want to not bother in getting my to do lists done. It is good to see the sun shining and have been out today, but today I have had to really make the effort, so my deal I made with myself was to get a video uploaded and then I can have another coffee, and I do this on days I go for a walk and build my steps. Sitting out in the garden is good, and like to do a bit of writing and reading a book, but there bits i need to do on my laptop but when it is piping hot then can cause it too overheat, and I not so good with heat.
The hardest thing for me is getting out of bed. If you have heard of Mel Robbins, she has talked about this too in her videos and podcast and was how she developed the 5 Second Rule.
I don’t believe in forcing myself, because that can lead to not wanting to do anything and if that is the case, I take a break. It is important to take some time out and sit in the sun, but if you have things that need to be done, then do it. I will say right, I will edit another chapter of my book and then I can watch another Youtube video and if I do a workout then I can have that Dr Pepper or a bit of chocolate if I get the craving.
I won’t always do this with food, because this can lead to over eating and it is important to not use it to eat too much sugary food and other bad foods, but not refusing either as it can make me want it even more, and I like to work towards my meals each day, and have that one biscuit with my tea, but also if I want a bubble bath or a glass of wine or watch some TV.
If I want to buy another item of clothing I will get rid of an item of clothing that I no longer wear and doing a declutter during the Summer Holidays made me realise I do not need any more clothes and doing a reset soon when I do my Autumn Reset. More details of this coming soon.
I did a video about using what I have and made a deal that if I use up what I have got then I can buy more, and if it doesn’t get used and give it a year, then it goes. This may not worked for everyone, but works in with me and how I control my spending, how I continue good habits and how I achieve my goals that I set each day, month and year and quarterly, and 5 years.
So if you find you can’t be bothered then make a deal with yourself because its the result that will help me in feeling good and not wasted time by doing nothing.
I am going bit over with my Life Coaching blogs, before I begin my Autumn Reset, as there are a few more blogs I want to share. Just because we are coming into the 9th month of the year, doesn’t mean you can’t restart your life. Everyone’s situation is different, and so, so what if if it is not January? Its when you know it is time to reevaluate your life and make changes.
I get anxious, I find it hard to wake up in the mornings, so I will take it slow. I remember when working in a Call Centre, that was fast paced, and a lady there used to call me, “Mrs Rush” and was noted when I worked in a holiday camp and worked in the Residential Catering Department, that I would work fast and I get lost in the moment to get things done, and I think living in the city that is all you know, is to be fast.
Now I take my time and attention to detail is the key, and not always about getting so much done at once. This is from experience, as working fast pace, it would cause me to be stressed and get burn out, to not wanting to be bothered to do anything.
It doesn’t have to all be done in one day. and allow yourself to breath. Make one change a day. I do make the beds, but with the summer holidays I have made them as soon as I have had that free moment, and there are no bed making Police so fit it in, but when it suits you, and being flexible can really help in the way you live your life, and making sure you have that first drink in the morning, that you enjoy, of course not alcohol or fizzy drinks. Just start with the mornings, and mix it up, its good to change a routine if you feel bored with life, and need to start over, because you feel that life is too much and can’t cope with it.
I found that reading and listening to Podcasts helps. There are some good books out there, like Mel Robbins the 5 second rule which I am sure you know about. and she does a brilliant podcast, along with Fearn Cotton, Happy place and a new one I have gotten into is Real Talk Kim.
I have written books too, check out Amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. They are available on Kindle and many of them are available in paperback too.
It all about changing the way you think about yourself, areas that need to be changed and the people you associate with. I remember working in a Call Centre and there were many agents who were negative all day thinking the worst and complaining a lot. Yet there were times when we would have a laugh, but you’d find those that ruined that, were the ones who had nothing good to say about anything and everything.
Yes it was a tough job, but seeing that we’d would deal with complaints a lot, the worst thing was colleagues arguing and those thinking they were a lot more superior to everyone else. That they had more rights than you, and yet we were doing the same job and also because of, not getting help by senior staff.
Or you find that people talk to you about their problems but won’t listen to yours, and for me a good friendship is when you get each other and it is 50/50. I am not saying to have a fall out or start accusing, but have a chat and mend relationships that is stopping you to start again.
This means making sense of situations and changing the patterns in your life and having self care, and look after your own wellbeing first before you focus on anything else. Sometimes you have to be selfish in the contents of changing the way you dress, your morning routine that you have a good reason to get up and get going.
Stop beating yourself up and live. Take each day as it comes aswell as plan and setting goals for the future and remove devices on some days or during part of the day, as these can influence our thoughts too.
Noones life is perfect everyone experiences bumps in the road, and so get up and get going, and be in charge of your life and honour yourself, and be kind to yourself.
Self Sabotage won’t get you anywhere, but fall into more of a depression, and so make every day be as good as the last by respecting yourself and making step by step changes.
My mental state was bad and it has taken me a lot to get my life back on track, but planning is always the one thing that gets me through it. I like planning my days and focusing on having a good day, whatever has tried not knock me off the path I have been going through, to be fully recovered. I did a video talking about a couple of days ago, when I went to pick up my prescription and bought a cold coffee, only to drop it as I was running for the bus back, check out my video here: https://youtu.be/L_bU-FKqtOQ and so not everything goes to plan, but I still got my prescription and I still made it back indoors to record the video above, talking about Using what you’ve got .
When unplanned events happen, it can take a while to get over and I believe in, allowing yourself to grieve and take time in coming to terms that sometimes you have to start again, to continue to grow as a human being, and that is exactly what I have had to do.
I started to get back on my feet by spending time away from my friends and family, and was helped with getting my life together, by having an income again and being reunited with, family and my son, and able to see him off to school and back. Getting in contact with friends via social media, and now looking to be connected to others again, as I do miss going out with friends and family again.
Never plan too big at first, and focus on one or two things, at a time. I began to Understand the condition I had and learned about the triggers, should I feel like I am having relapse, and learning about different mental health conditions. I did this by doing some free courses, and they have helped me, with these blogs, because I love to learn and educate myself. It is a great way to rebuild your life. I did some painting which I haven’t done in years and started walking again. Walking small distances, and exploring new places, getting back into writing books, and exercise is good for recovery as it does give you, good energy and it helps me to listen to my body that can help with my mind, by retuning positive feelings.
Healing relationships by forgiving and forgetting, and addressing the causes. Make a plan to see your friends again and spend time with family, and have them help you in recovery, You don’t have to go through recovery on your own.
Having a good sort out on things that you want to let go off and make plan to do this. Again get help. My mum helped me when I came out of hospital, and recently done a declutter, and doing this regularly can help the feelings of being overcrowded with stuff.
I am in a good place now and feel like my life is taking shape. There are still so much I wish to do, but taking it one step at a time.
Remember I do have books available on happiness and wellnesses, along with fictional books. You can find these on amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
Our thoughts can build up with having so much to think about, like making sure I have breakfast, and my son has his and going through my emails and running errands and not having enough rest.
When you get overwhelmed, it means you need to take some time for you to recharge your mind, by not using your mobile and switching it off or put on silent on some days, and have peace from the everyday stress, to reboot.
Having family time, playing games or watching a film or a nice meal together, chatting about our day and the challenges we had to faced and have all phones turned off and being present with one another.
No spend days. I did no spend January this year and it really has helped me manage my money and did videos on my main youtube channel documenting it (https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal) and I do no spend days and has helped me to have peace when it comes to money, as I have struggled and cutting down on items that aren’t important, and so I write my expenses and check my bank accounts, it helps recharge and not worrying about it all of the time, as it can play on your mind, and so manage your money can do wonders. I have another Youtube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@mywayofliving1602)
Reading. Take yourself away from the chaos and read. I did this, this evening and helps my mind to switch off and made myself comfortable to read and unwind. When I travel I often like to listen to an audio book and just keeps the mind from worries that travel can bring, but helps me to sleep too, when reading.
Music. I love listening to music, but no longer listen to it at night on my phone as it would affect my sleep and so now my mobile is faraway as possible, but when I am writing I like to listen to music, and I have a playlist dedicated to my book I am writing, currently, and when travelling too, if I don’t listen to an audiobook, and my tastes vary and created different playlists, which I love doing and play music to help my mood and with concentration.
Have a homely day. This is where I will spend time at home and put on some comfy clothes on, do some laundry, reading, do a walk around my local park and not travelling, and just chilling catching up on TV or Youtube. Anything that helps me to slow down and take in what is around me and feel my whole body breath and relax, and retune. Many of us are so used to running around, having to get to somewhere to get to work, that it can cause us to crash and so have a day where you can relax and do whatever you want that can help you switch off and slow down.
Spend time in a different place. This week we went to Shepperton by train, and went to the Loch there and it was so nice, watching the boats come and go. If you are not able to go on holiday far far away, visiting places for the day can be just as good. Life can get boring and feel like all we see is the same shops, the same four walls and I watch a channel called With Wonder, and she does hikes and runs, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1YPvcxMTtdKz5ptonC3HZA You may wonder how hiking and running can help recharge the mind, but being someone who has run herself it can be the best thing for the body and mind, and just being somewhere new, is so therapeutic and me and my husband visited the South coast this year and I have filmed a vlog, so coming onto my main channel soon (https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal) and it was a good weekend, and so good to be somewhere different and want to visit more places by train or by car, and so can really help to recharge.
Social interaction. Summer time what is left of it, can be a great opportunity in recharging the mind, because it can be so relaxing to sit in a park, having a chat with some bubbly, and enjoying the sun, and each bring some food to share. In my local Park there always adults with children getting together. It can help children to, to socialise, in a safe place, with adults feeling relaxed, and not having to rush around, and discussing life.
So, I hope you have had a good summer. and enjoyed these blogs and soon it will be my next yearly programme Autumn Reset, but still got a some blogs to share for this Life Coaching programme, “Summer Project 2023” and thank you to those who have liked these blogs and I am definitely going to enjoy the last two weeks have of the summer holidays.
Yesterday was a really lovely day. It was almost affected coming back because of going through the gate at our local station, but there will always be those who think they are more important than you, and yes I did get annoyed but now it is the next day, I am not going to allow that, to ruin the joy I had yesterday.
Picture I took of the Shepperton Loch which was so lovely and recommend.
We went to Shepperton, which I have never been before and filmed a week in a life, coming soon, for my main youtube channel, where I post weekly vlogs, (https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal) and there was issues with the trains too, but had a nice meal in a local pub, called the Alex back in Wimbledon and in Shepperton visited the Loch and Canal there, which really helped with my mind and clear the cobwebs and we did some walking and completed over 11,000 steps and helped me in my thoughts.
Visiting a different place where you have never been before can really help, along with the weather too.
I know there are people who don’t always get to go out, and find commuting difficult, so if you can help them, then why not offer to take them out. My Uncle had a stroke some years ago, and it really turned his life upside down, and so my mum and aunty along with other family members would take him out and take him to see his daughter and grandchildren.
Our minds can get overwhelmed with every day challenges, so getting outdoors, seeing friends and family, doing a puzzle, listening to music and a hot bath for example, can really help in have peace and doing a brain dump and journaling your thoughts and feel at peace with our mind, which can help the body.
What can also help is extra rest, especially if you are a parent and work full time for example. All the things we need to remember and a overacting mind, which has been what I have suffered with. As soon as put my head on my pillow at bedtime my thoughts start to think of blog ideas and remembering what I need to do the next day and the worst case scenario and so taking time away from my phone and laptop and read, can be great in settling the mind.
Having clean and tidy spaces, and having a good drink you enjoy and catching up on a box set or doing a indoor workout, can all help to clear the head and relax the mind.
Its all about self care and development that leads to more positivity, and staying calm and feeling content with your thoughts, to your feelings.
This is something I journaled when away near the south coast of Britain in a caravan and is important to me because I do go back to the passed in my thoughts and of the future, but in order to plan for the future you have to live each day and be present, rather in a dream world all of the time.
So when I wrote this, it was to enjoy myself with my husband and son, and seeing friends and were friends who hadn’t met our son, and being present helped I feel, have a good weekend.
Write it out and I have just did a new page of my journal, to what I want to do right now and helping me to slow down and focus on one task at a time.
It helps me to prioritize, so I have laundry to sort out so going to, once written this blog, go and check to see if my clothes are dry and put another load on. I have an telephone appointment and so need to prepare for that and having breaks in between and not feel overloaded with stuff to do.
It helps manage the mind to prevent burn out, and not being stuck in one place all day, as this can effect concentration and our feelings along with our thoughts
I listen to experts about coffee, is it good or bad for you? I say if you like your daily coffee then have one. I enjoy my coffee each day and helps me through the day, I don’t always buy coffee from the coffee shop and have instant, because I enjoy having my coffee and will not sacrifice this, in anyway.
Researching coffee, it was said that it can cause anxiety, but someone who never for a long time drunk coffee, it was in my adulthood, had anxiety before I got into drinking coffee and It doesn’t trigger it at all. In fact I am a lot calmer now and yes I am on medication for my anxiety, but having a coffee helps my energy levels and I like to make the most of each sip, so if you like coffee then have one, and enjoy.
When I have appointments I like to have a coffee before or after, and use it to help me write and just good to be out of four walls. I like walking with a coffee and be out in the fresh air, and if you like this too, then enjoy.
When going out with my son Henry along with his dad, we’ll have a coffee and a chat. I couldn’t drink coffee all day, but like to have 2 cups early in the day, and is a ritual to me. Cold coffees never appealed to me, but now I actually love treating myself with a cold one, and sitting in the park and reading a good book.
I know with the weather it has been cold for a cold brew, but when it has been hot, I have made the most of it.
I wrote a blog like this one one of my google blogspot blogs:
It helps with my concentration and with being productive, and waking me up as it can take a while for me in the mornings to wake up, and helps kick start my day.
Life is worth living! Life doesn’t have to be boring, which can be the feeling you get when you feel your life isn’t going nowhere and that this it is how it’s going to be and nothing will change.
What would you like to be doing?
Where would you like to be in your life?
What do you wish your life to looked like?
Check out this EBook I wrote about Creating a new Journey to your life. It is available in Kindle and Paperback.
Set up a plan for yourself, of making your life better. For me a reading or listening to a book a great way to get out of a rut. Learning from others who have experienced how you have felt, is a great way to get a hold on your feelings to change your life.
I found Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule really helpful and reading a book by Paul McKenna and Tony Robbins to be good. Also doing free courses on the areas I want to learn more about. I want to help support people who have mental health difficulties, from child to adulthood and going to be doing Voluntary work soon, helping Children to read and would like to do online teaching on other topics, to help others like those who feel stuck, and that they not sure how to get over the low feelings and have a better life.
Managing my finances better has made a difference for me. There is still a long way and stop spending on things I do not need and focus on what is more important to help my wellbeing, and the way I feel about my life and you can do the same, just set aside 2mins to 10mins, can really help stop the worry that money can cause and get help.
I like watching Youtube channels like, Sugar mamma TV on money, because they have really helped with managing my money. I have listened to Canna Campbell, the 1000 Project and listened to the Audio book by Grant Cardone book, Sell or to be Sold.
I also watch Jordan Page, and Kate Kaden, and really inspirational and I have a Youtube channel, dedicated to finance and how I manage my money too: https://www.youtube.com/@mywayofliving1602
It’s all about changing your mindset and not have limited beliefs. Anyone in my opinion can be successful in building happiness and a better wellbeing, but you have to change your habits and have a hold on your life and where it is going.
I do have time off Social Media, which really helps and today I spent like I try to do on other days, away from my phone and enjoying the time with my son, not worrying about checking Instagram or Facebook.
Doing something different on some days. On Wednesday I took Henry to a football match and it was great. It helped that the team we went to support won, but made a difference on our feelings that my son couldn’t wait to share with his my mum and step dad and with his dad. He was buzzing and just made a great change.
Making time to see friends and having a night out or a girls night in. With the prices increasing on things it is affording things, so just meeting up one evening a week can really help ease the stress of life and taking time out for you.
Everyone can build a castle 