How do handle stress? I stress all the time, like today I was worried in case I didn’t meet my friend on time today or if I would get back home in time to pick up my son from nursery. I realized that I had nothing to worry about, as I got there and back from my destination with no problems at all and even had time to spare.
I read this article which details about how some people handle stress, I found this as a useful tool should I stress out again.
Sometimes I have to admit that on certain days I do get so overwhelmed that all I want to do is crawl up into a ball and just disappear.
Being parent I find can add to those feelings, as much as being parent it is rewarding too. There are sometimes no space for me to scream out “Don’t do this”.
So finding peace of mind can really help. The one thing that always brings me peace of mind in an instant is music, I couldn’t live without it, it has been my thing I have loved and given me escapism all the time, when times were tough.
It is important I feel to have peace of mind, just to breath in and breath out, and switch off from the everyday pressures that I have faced.
Here are some tunes that bring me peace of mind at the moment.
I love these types of tunes as they instantly help ease the mind and let feel at peace with myself, and I fill that is important to gain control of the mind. There have been times where I have lost control and when that happens you can end up in a very dark place in your mind.
Listening to some chill out music can be empowering aswell as giving peace of mind.
As soon as I hear it, it makes me stand still and take moment to just listen to my breathing and switch to my positive and empowering side of the mind.
So if you are stressing out find you peace of mind, whatever helps whether it is in music or getting fit, peace of mind is what we all need at times.
Get yourself a notebook, or a piece of card or pin board, and put everything from pictures, to articles to video clips that inspire you, as this can help with anxiety and feelings of depression.
It is good to have a focus. I want to create my inspiration board for this blog, as there are videos and stories, I have come across through Youtube and books that have inspired me and could inspire you too.
I support mental health 100% because I have had mental health problems too, and can effect anybody, whether they are a millionaire to someone living on the streets, and can effect us at any point. Sometimes it may not be for one reason, but for many reasons.
I found this video on Youtube, by Tulisa, who was part of a band called N Dubz and an X Factor judge. She shares her story and others in this documentary, of young carers who’s parents had suffered with mental health, and how it can have a growing impact on young peoples lives.
It makes me think of Henry, when he grows up, I hope he doesn’t have to be my carer when I am older, or will he suffer the same as he grows to have feelings and emotions.
I hope you find this video inspiring too, and let me know of videos and stories that you have found inspiring, I would be interested to find out.
Wasn’t sure where I wanted to write this blog, but I felt I needed to add it to this site, as when we are trying to conquer our goals, the one thing that can stop us is isolation. We can often feel like we aren’t part of society and alone.
When I feel isolated the one thing I do is get out of the house and go for a walk. The worst thing you can do is to stay in doors, home alone. Getting out is important, as isolation usually means you need a new environment, and space.
Feeling isolated can lead us to feeling depressed, so getting out will help stop the cobwebs, which is what I call depressive thoughts, from emerging.
If you do get invited out, unless there is trouble getting to somewhere, take up the invite and go.
Isolation means you need to be with people, and you probably find that they too have felt isolated and alone, all they needed just like you, a friend.
If someone does talk to you, give them acknowledgement, instead of trying to ignore them.
It is so easy at times to isolate yourself especially if you are a new mum for example, but this is where meeting other mums for example, can really help. Knowing you aren’t alone in feeling like you a walking meal on tap, as from my own experience, as much as I love my son I did feel often like a walking cow.
Getting out is important for isolation and a new environment can really do the trick.
You go about your day happy as Larry, we sometimes call it, when people are content with their life, then suddenly someone barges you out of the way as if you aren’t there, you start to feel your mood change. You now feel as if someone has seen that you were having a good day, and peed all over it. “Thanks, that’s just great” you rage in your head”.
Now you feel your day is ruined. You feel there is no going back to feeling happy and you’re still playing the incident over in your head. You make it worse than what it is.
Can you get over it?
YES YOU CAN
I have been reading a book about anger because I knew it was something I needed to address. My mum says that “There is no point being angry as the only person who is angry is you”. That is true.
“That person who has bumped into you without a “Sorry” isn’t gonna care, so why should you?”
It is a waste of energy. I no I get wound up, at times, but learning to control it is the key.
Stepping away, and taking yourself out of that situation, just to reason and think about it before reacting can help put a handle on your blowing a fuse.
If we shout at the person who pushed you out of the way, what would they do?
Do you want confrontation, no I hate that. I just want the person to see that pushing me out of the way isn’t acceptable. The person is too busy wanting to rush to wherever they heading, but I am sure if they played it back, or it happened to them, they would feel differently.
Reasoning sometimes is too quick, so saying something like, “You can say excuse me and I will move out your way or careful please” so making them acknowledge what they just did is good because I am sure we have all been in a rush and not meant to but accidentally bumped into someone, the worse thing is when they don’t acknowledge it, but I am sure if you do say something, not stroppy but so they see, the majority of people would be mortified and will say sorry, if they don’t it’s their problem not yours.
They may not react in the way you want or give you the response your want, but I do feel when people do that it is subconscious, and not a conscious thing they meant to do. They’re to busy caught up in their travels, so what is the point of being angry?
They aren’t the slightest bit interested in you to let it spoil their day so why let it spoil yours.
How many of us have flown off the handle, when looking back it was minor. Me and my hubby had an argument over a plate of chips and a draw once. Writing that down seems so daft, and I still think “What was that really about?” How could it have been avoided.
Well at the time my hubby was trying to give up smoking and so was suffering with cravings, so perhaps I could have been more understanding, instead of thinking he was making a personal attack, and he had a point.
Why would I be happy to share a plate of chips but not share a draw, as we both lived there, and where we were living at the time, we wasn’t exactly spoilt for room.
Most arguments and anger can be avoided, if we took some time to breath and think about it before reacting.
At dinner times with my son, there have been many tantrums and tears, including myself wanting to throw a tantrum.
Looking back and even now if he isn’t hungry enough he will kick up a stink to sit down and eat his dinner. At nursery and in the mornings, come breakfast time he is fine with sitting up at the table.
Those moments do pass, and my tip is, is to not make a meal out of it, but try to create calm before the storm, and that can be playing some peaceful music, or get them to sit and watch a bit of TV to let them know dinner is coming and so time to settle down to eat.
I have lost the plot at times when he has kicked off wanting a tantrum of my own, so the best way is to step away and then come back even if it just for a minute, just to breath and think about.
So tips to controlling your rage;
Breath and think it, view it, counting to 10
Learn to be mindful and enjoy nature, taking yourself out of the normal everyday can really help with the everyday hustle and bustle
Think before you speak and remember that if it is second incident whilst out, the chances of you seeing the people who have caused you to rage are slim, so breath and remember the words “Not worth it”
Listen to some soft music or take yourself out of the situation
Be reasonable, you never know what someone else is going through or where they need to be going, so take reason as I am sure they didn’t mean to make you angry. No one has that attention, no one wakes up to make someone angry so try to be reasonable before reacting
Let the anger seep through, this is where breathing and being mindful can really help.
Never allow it to build up as it will be like a pressure cooker and over boil, so acknowledge, address and think it through
Never allow it to take over and journal, if these emotions of anger are getting you down and controlling your life. Anger can have a funny way of turning our minds and making things to be more than what they really are
Communicate effectively, shouting doesn’t always get your point across, so say it with stern so the person knows they have done wrong but not in an aggressive manner as it could turn
Be wise and if it is a friend who has upset you, approach with calm. Think about what to say before you say it, but do let them know they have upset you. The worse thing I have done is attacked first and thought about it afterwards. Somethings are best left unsaid until the storm blows over, but never leave it for too long as once it passes as it can be a different to when you say it at the time
Reflect
Grab a cushion or a pillow and let your rage come out
Once you learn how to handle your anger and emotions then you can put them into practice of other emotional feelings, such as frustration, which can lead to feeling angry, fear and anxiety. Get in touch with your emotions and yourself will help you to feel so much better, and gain back control.
So next time you feel angry or the pressure rising, take perspective and remember it won’t last forever.
I was never someone who had loads of boyfriends and dated a lot.
I did go out with a few guys but nothing that was overly serious. It has to be right for you, and at the time of being with these guys I didn’t want to be in love. I wasn’t ready for that, it was just nice to have someone who liked me in that emotional way. It did help my confidence.
However I met my husband unexpectedly, when working at a holiday camp 15 years ago.
I had no intention of meeting anyone, and when I did, it just happened.
I did make the first move in the end, and sometimes that is what you need to do.
A great way to beat social anxiety and lack of confidence is to do somethings out of your comfort zone, and you never know if there is someone that you like, but neither of you are making a move, it could be that they are shy too.
SOMEONE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING!
I finally made first step when someone told me that, my now husband, could be potentially leaving the holiday camp and move on else where. I didn’t want to miss my chance.
We met up for a drink to begin with. I did stay at his but we didn’t do anything physical until later on as we continued to see each other.
That was important to me. It is all about learning to trust someone and finding that connection. Creating a potential foundation for yourself that will be there for you and help support you emotionally.
Never put pressure on yourself to be in love, but get yourself out of your usual environment and go to different places where you have a chance to meet someone. It is good to hang out with a friend that is very sociable as the chances are they will talk to them first, so then you can start talking to them.
Having a person who is an ice breaker and can open up the conversation for you is good, helps make it a casual met up. Have a chat, get to know them first, date and then see where it goes.
Every new year now I no longer make resolutions. Instead I make life changes.
I find that changing it to that, helps me to stick to those changes.
I may fall off the rails from time to time, but I will always pick myself up and carry on.
life is full of hurdles and there will be times when I think “Why, why do I want to make this life change?” example my fitness.
From time to time, I have felt like throwing in the towel “No I don’t want to do any today, but then I feel anxious, like I haven’t accomplished much and get stuck in this battle with myself”.
As soon as I exercise whether it is running, walking or working out to a DVD at home, I am reminded why.
I feel I have more energy
I instantly feel like I have more time
I feel I can take on the day ahead
I become more relaxed, and laid back, instead of worrying all the time.
The one thing I am doing this year that I will change in my life, is to get ahead of myself. Hence why if you check out my websites below you will see I have written blogs about Valentines Day:
The other thing I have done this year, is keep a fitness journal diary, aswell as my pesonal Filofax I use to bullet journal my training. I have a book for my fitness diary/journal and created a fitness diary in blog form.
I decided to do this, not to preach about fitness, but show how I go about it, the dilemmas I may face, but to show people it is okay. We assume as people we have to be this ideal perfect person of ourselves. Yet it can often be that we are chasing something that is impossible, which is being perfect.
Fact: No one is perfect and everyone’s definition of what is perfect is different, so you’ll never be that. What you can be is yourself and build on that.
. It is okay I know I will get those days where the old mindset of not wanting to workout, will try and fight its way back in, but I got to be strong and say “No this is what I need to help me feel good, to help me achieve all my goals in my life I set”
My point is, if I can do even if it is 5 minutes of training so can you.
That is not impossible.
It isn’t about being someone else or changing completely, but something that will help move you to the next chapter in your life and claim the things you know you deserve.
Change your mindset.
If you want something get it. Don’t sit back, what if you knew you could get what you wanted in a day?
What would you do?
I have realised in order for me to feel body confident and get the size and shape I want to be, I need to be a bit more stricter with myself when it comes to fitness and my diet. I got to stop thinking “I can eat that cake, I’ll burn it off, no problem” I know I have been a bit reckless, and this has at the same time effected how I feel about myself, making me feel like I have less energy, not liking my image game.
I do not want to go down that road again, I know I deserve more, and so do you
So I am gonna take my diet and fitness more seriously, as I want to be more importantly a good role model to my son. I want him to have a well balance diet, but I know for him to have that I have to set an example.
When I see a chocolate bar and want to eat it, I now think “How will that make me feel later on?” Regretful. Not a good place to be. How will this look like to Henry, what message am I sending?
I am not saying, that I won’t have any, just not so much.
In relation to this I will be working out each day. So far in the week I am sticking with that, but finding weekends tricky but determined to stick to my life change and to find time at the weekends. If you want to know what I do I work in Customer Service.
I am giving up crisps. I made a choice, chocolate or crisps, and I chose crisps. Easy for me, and I don’t actually feel it is a massive lose.
The other is be financially free. I do have debts, and I am keeping a Debt Diary, to help me address my spending issue and to get my debt cleared. Again I want to use this so when I am financially free, I can say how I did it to help others. Use my negative situation into a positive and to help make sure it happens.
I have been watching a lot of Grant Cardone. If you don’t know who he is, here is a taster of one of his videos which got me first watching him. He gives some really good tips on how to get the job you want. Another life change for me this year, to create more income and to build towards getting the career I want.
He to me is a business man Guru, a Messiah in his field. He is also very funny, and gives some great tips about creating more income.
As money gets higher in value, the value of money you earn in your job, like mine will working in customer service, will decrease .The value of items such as clothes and shows, will start to increase in price, and so it is important to build a better income.
The one tip that really sits in my head is:
Only save unless you are doing it to reinvest
It’s not about how much money you have at the moment, but what you can create and build towards having.
So my last life change now, for myself and is to build a higher income for myself and get that job I want, in the process.
Changes you make shouldn’t be about the New Year, but things you do that will change your life for the better.
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Everyone can build a castle 
