Category Archives: Weekly posts

Reflecting on my April monthly challenge

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So if you are new here on this blog site then I have been doing monthly challenges. January was no spend, February was finding good deals, March was to declutter and April was trying to finish my book I am writing and see if I can at least my first draft done but that didn’t happen.

It has made me see which areas I need to change so I can get the first draft written quicker. It isn’t about racing through it but spending time plotting rather than just writing it up with no plan. I did make notes and plan as I write, but should have done this at the beginning.

I take on these challenges because it helps me to see how I use my time and if I do need to make further challenges to get parts of my life I need to take control of better.

I am at the moment doing my Life Coaching programme Summer Project for 2023 and so prep for me is key, and so I know I need to do this more with my books and not put it off. I love to write and create stories but I like to do it in chunks, and I write a blog called A Life as a writer and so if you’d like to visit this blog then here is a link to it: https://inalifeofawriter.blogspot.com/

Writing fulfills me like music does and always wanted to write a book, so when my son was born wrote my first one called The Parenting Adventures pregnancy to the first nine months and then wrote my first novel A Lonely Walk to Happiness and wrote some EBooks and then published my new one Mum&Me and for me it just is therapy and I love reading books.

My first self published novel

If you have dreams to write then start. I like writing comedy and books on real issues like A Lonely Walk to Happiness is based on a girl called Claire and she has a severe eating disorder and shuts herself away but then lives with her mums best friend, because her mum has a car accident yet her mum thinks that Claire is old enough to look after herself which is clear she can’t and ends up in hospital herself and hopes when she goes to university in Plymouth life and the way she feels about it will change.

This is not me selling this to you, but in case you were interested and if I can write a book so can you and why not try it yourself to see if you can complete a book in a month or just the first draft if you’d like to write a book. I have not set a challenge for May but will do more and will let you know when. If you’d like to see my videos and I have one more to go out then check out my main channel, check out link here: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal

I hope this inspires you to challenge yourself and it can be whatever challenge you want to do, as long you know what you want the end result to be. Example for me so I complete another book to help talk about real issues. Like my book above is talking about Eating disorders and online bullying and help people who have experienced or going through these things and like Mum&Me to make people laugh and have a good read whilst on holiday having cocktail or at home, and having a bit of peace and something to make you chuckle.

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme Summer Project 2023 Forever Growing: Learning to control my Thoughts and Actions

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When it comes to our growth we find that often our actions were unreasonable and it is too late to heal them, and say sorry.Yet it is never too late. If you have had a mental illness it can affect how we are with other people, but shouldn’t be an excuse to be unkind, It can be because we feel that we are being misunderstood and want people to resonate with how we are feeling and that our love ones can read our minds.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

A lot of it is fear, like I get worried when I am on a bus and someone sits next to me. I know I have paid for one seat but instantly my mind will go through the image of what if this person won’t let me pass to get off the bus, and I think this is from when I would travel from Wimbledon to Kingston the person next to me made me wait until he was ready to get up and because he was getting off too, and need to not allow that experience to be in fear of others but use it to learn and if I know my stop is next I will say excuse me and if they are getting off the same stop it has been fine.

With psychosis you can get paranoid and think that everyone is against you, when that is not the case, a lot of the time and when once at work I thought my team manager had said something rude about me and it upset me, I spoke to her after thinking about in tears and it was fine, I miss heard. The one thing is to not be confrontational and just talk not throwing accusations and “You said this and you said that”, but how there actions have made you feel and how you and them can rebuild the relationship to heal the wounds of there and our actions.

When we are stressed we can project our feelings towards those that are close to us and find it hard when we aren’t happy to see someone happy when we aren’t and you can get competitive over who’s life is the worst and feel like we are hitting a brick wall, and if it is something we don’t want to hear when often we need to hear it, it can make us even more resentful.

It used to eat away with me when I felt like this and feel insignificant, but it is not their fault and the question I ask now is whenever these feelings are being triggered, “Do I want people to be unhappy?” and “Do we want them to feel that way about me?”and would reply of course not. I want the best for other people and helps us to see how we can be as happy as they are. We are in charge of our own happiness and the feelings we project and to build a relationship with ourselves is to admit we are wrong and instead of waiting to see if someone is nice to you, be the first one to make the move and if I see someone wearing a nice piece of clothing or their style, even strangers I will say and I like complimenting others, not for someone to like me back, but just saying it but have meaning and so I have had to amend my ways and it is taken a lot but it’s as if I have woken up and realised I have nothing to be resentful for or angry about, and be thankful of what I have.

I have been there and said the wrong thing, and it is not really what I did but how I have come across and see it from their perspective and learned, and thought “How could I have reacted that would have been better” and be more aware of my actions and feel towards someone.

I have created a video on my main youtube channel of what I will be talking about within this years programme and so click here to watch, if you would like: https://youtu.be/mbAJQtjpZ68

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme Summer Project 2023 Forever Growing: Learning from our kids and not getting overwhelmed in your life

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Posted by in Everyday living, Personal Development, Positive Habits, productivity, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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As humans we are always growing and as we go through life with each age and milestones our view on life and the world can change. I now see that life is to be worshipped and enjoyed rather than dreaded and resented because someone is doing better than you and wishing our life away. Worrying we aren’t meeting other peoples expectations of us and that life is hard all the time.

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As a kid I couldn’t wait to be an adult as it meant that I can do my own thing and make my own choices but you can do that as a child too. As a kid it was seen by many that Children don’t know their own minds but yes they do, and I think we underestimate our children and what they are capable of, and my son is so technically savvy that he could control a cashier desk without needing to be shown, because he just naturally savvy when it comes to electronics and so I have to watch him to be able to be technically savvy myself. When we play he will tell me where to stand and give me direction and correct me if I say something wrong, like if I say pants when he is wearing shorts, will say “No they are’t pants they are shorts, don’t do it again”.

I see that with kids they take tiny steps, like they will tempt to roll over several times before they can do it and then will begin to pull themselves up on all fours and then try and crawl. Some kids can go from being on fours to walking skipping the crawling but it will as they develop take time and we should never rush them but give space for our kids to grow to help us grow too. I think as adults we feel pressure to do so many things at once and then wonder why we have no energy and depriving ourselves from luxury as our family grows. Never neglect your own wellbeing and growth, so we can be good role model to others, like our kids and ask for help if you are finding things a struggle. Often we feel like, there is nothing to worry about, but it is if you can’t face the days ahead and you begin to have a break down.

Allow some time to relax and give yourself some space. Take on other peoples help, like other mums who have experience and meet or facetime and get tips and advice. I write a parenting blog if you’d like to check it out: https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.com

So I am now all about taking my time. I have to take little breaks and find it hard to concentrate if I don’t. It is all about taking your time and breaking your to do’s down and allocate days to get things done and if things are getting too much then to keep growing, rein yourself in, reflect and then make changes as you continue to grow.

It is good to have a good foundation around you that can help you grow but you have to do it for yourself too. You are on this planet for a reason so spend time to find out what it is. Look at what areas are you happy with in your life and what you are not happy with and take action to change so they become something you do like.

I don’t like tidying so I will do as the first thing when I get up, this helps to kick the day off and I make sure that the things I need daily are easily accessible and use waiting time, Example:I will when waiting for a bus or train to go through my emails rather than avoid them and is an area I have to change, so made it my goal to check my emails everyday and unsubscribe if there are ones from companies that no longer serve any purpose to me, and help reduce my emails, so they are manageable and I stop me from feeling overwhelmed.

My son is never overwhelmed and wants to be doing something in the days otherwise he start to muck about and he helps keep me fit and active by playing sports or when he is watching his tablet will push me away and want to be in his on space and I respect that.

I have learned a lot about how my actions are when it comes to my son and if he asks me to put my phone down I will as being a mum I love that he wants my full attention, and I have wised up.

I hope you like this blog and if you’d like to be kept up to date with my blogs on this site you can by following me, and your feedback means a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Life Coaching Programme Summer Project 2023 Printable

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So it is here my printable for my Life Coaching programme Summer Project 2023 and topics I will talking about in my blogs and will do some videos too.

Let me know if you prefer blogs or videos, as this programme is for you and if you have anything you’d like to share then please do in the comments below.

If you have any questions please leave below and what you’d like me to share. Life is precious and so is time. We try so much to make others happy but we forgotten about yourself and so I want you to put yourself first for a change and make time just for you to recharge and reset your life and that is my motive and intention to help build your happiness like I have in my life and things I have learned now being 44 years old.

2023-projectDownload

I really hope you enjoy this years Life Coaching programme like you have since I began this two years ago and bring more joy to your life.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

My Life Coaching Programme Summer Project 2023 Begins

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Posted by in empowerment, Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Planning 2023, Summer Project 2023, Weekly posts

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Yes here we are and I am so glad for the feedback from my previous yearly life coaching programme blogs and videos, I want to begin today and was going to put it on hold because my son was unwell and had time off school, but he is a lot better so lets begin.

I have a printable that I am creating, and so this will be up by end of the week and it is all about what is coming up and what I will sharing in this years life Coaching programme.

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

So first of all I am not a medical professional, I am a mum and have worked in Customer Service, worked in Childcare and worked at a holiday resort but recently did some courses in Mental Health and how it affects adults and children as I want to work in Childcare and Healthcare.

I wanted to create this is programme from sharing my own story who has had a mental health illness and struggled in life and feel I know about life now being in my 40’s and had to work on myself to be a good mum, daughter, sister and overall a good human being.

I want to help people be happy and not feel that they are alone. I want you to be able to create dreams and ambitions and build a life that makes you smile and a reason to get up in the mornings. There were times where I’d dread each day and that is not a good way to feel. It can be draining and I have suffered with stress and anxiety.

My life has changed a lot and had to make serious choices like looking at my own actions that has caused people to be upset and angry, I have had to work on my principals and focus on what is important and take it easy as I kept getting burn out.

Life isn’t about doing 100 things a day or running 5 miles a day everyday when you have kids and pets, but setting time to just be with yourself and looking after yourself and doing what makes you happy. I like to exercise and glad it is part of my life, but I also like to rest and relax.

I like to have my first cup of tea in he morning and then a coffee and doing my son’s breakfast and getting ready for the day. That is an area I still want to work on, as I want to make more of an effort in terms of appearance as I do go into autopilot and go straight on to my laptop. I am not saying I have it all sussed but have a good understanding of life and want people to feel good. I want people to not deprive themselves and help get rid of the bad parts of their lives and how they feel about their lives.

There is always room for growth and getting to know yourself and being true to yourself. I love writing and I do want it to be one day my income, and be a professional writer and do have books already on Amazon. You can check them out under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. I want to continue to be help my son and help him grow, by setting an example and help him follow his dreams and ambitions. At the moment he wants to be a train, which I have had to explain is not a living thing, but can work on the trains. Who knows what ambitions our kids have, and we can learn a lot from our children.

Just as a I write this first blog I am in my pyjamas bottoms on because it is bank holiday Monday and feel that I will get items done by being more relaxed and go with the flow. It is good to have a schedule but adding relaxation time is a must, and I like being snug.

So I hope you enjoy my Summer Project 2023 and all feedback is welcomed.

I will be filming videos too on my Youtube channel too, aswell as this blog site: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal and have board on my Pinterest too:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/life-coaching2023-project/life-coaching-tools/

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

“Is it ok to be the underdog?” Becoming the best

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I wrote this blog for my google blogspot: https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/2023/04/being-underdog.html

It talking about the being the underdog and in writing this I feel I have been a underdog when taking my dancing because I made a few mistakes and always passed but there were other pupils at my dancing school that were better and it took me ages to have 100% all high scores and when I played football, when I was picked to play at my Primary school was the underdog but I still played and to be the best you have to play against the best. Andy Murray was against Federer but then went on to win Wimbledon and other tournaments.

England football team against teams like Argentina, Netherlands and Germany we have been underdogs yet we still won and countries like Brazil, but we still qualify and still got to the final stages and from defeat you learn, and Gareth Southgate still turns up and picks players who could possibly be winners and stand a chance against teams that are seen as top rated international teams.

It doesn’t mean we have a chance, in fact it means we have more and seeing others succeed can be really a boost to be good at what we want to be good at or be better at. I was already naturally bodied to dance and play sports. That is down to coordination, but so did many of the other dancers I would dance with and made me improve and put in the effort in to be just as good.

This means competing against yourself and be better than what you originally was and challenging yourself, turning up to every lesson and visualising me doing the routines and steps, to practicing at home and watching professional dancing.

I want to pay a tribute to one of the judges that was on Strictly Come Dancing, Len Goodman,who whilst writing this blog I found that he has passed away as I went to see it and is one of my favourite TV shows and was his last series. He was such a brilliant judge and had watched him for years when you had the show before strictly, called Come Dancing and never got to see him dance but was such a lovely guy and wished I had as he was always cheering for those who were underdogs that never danced before and are the ones that I find most inspiring because it takes guts to want to perform in front of millions of people all over Britain and not danced before. Not saying I dislike the ones that are good and already contenders to win it, but it’s difficult and many like Ore Aduba who I did meet, have gone on to win it, and not danced ever. He didn’t even dance at his wedding.

It is a lot about trial and error, picking simple little tips and learning as you grow to be the best from being the underdog.developing your skills. We all have things to learn and I am the underdog being a self published author but this makes me want to write more books and continue to work towards having a best seller. It does take time but with persistence and determination it can happen, what you put into your dreams and ambitions is everything, so stand up if you have been underdog and gone on to be successful in areas in your life. You can leave a comment below, and love being inspired by other people its what helps me to grow within myself and out, and good luck with achieving the things in your life I have your back all the way,.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

My Yearly Life Coaching programme Summer Project 2023

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What is it all about?

Well since 2021 I wanted to help others during Lockdown with my blogs as it was tough on all of use.so wanted to reach out and make a difference. At that time I was recovering from struggling with my mental health but I wanted to help people at the same time by teaching about building your life for a better year that has helped me. Life comes with challenges however much you avoid them but you can get back on your feet. If I can do it so can you. That is my moto. I want to see others succeed and be happy. It can take a lot of time but once your there you find that it is easy to control.

If you wanted to know I was diagnosed with Psychosis, and was in a bad way for a while. I did take medication and spent some time in a Mental Health hospital and was what I needed. I was depressed and lacked energy, and was very anxious and it affected me socially and emotionally too.

I got my life on track by starting to pick my son up from school again and by changing my habits and doing the things I love and doing lots of walking, spending time away from social media and setting new goals. I was in debt and now paid off one and now got one debt to pay and have began to save again and rebuild my relationship with money and making wise choices.

So this year it is my third year doing my life coaching program and if you didn’t I have made changes, check out my previous blog: Changes to my Life Coaching Programme 2023

It will begin on the 1st May 2023 and will be a bank holiday in the UK and will finish at the end of August. I am creating a printable which is almost completed, and will show the blogs and videos I will be filming, but there is so much I want to include but don’t want to bombard you with blogs and videos, so going to go through what I want to share and if you have any questions or specific topics you want me to add, then please leave a comment below.

This program is free and no cost at all, but going to create some online courses based on these programs and so when this is done will blog and let you know.

So I will blog again as we get closer to when my Life Coaching Program begins with the printable I am creating and what I want you to take from it. I do have a board created on Pinterest with resources and tools to help:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/life-coaching2023-project/

Have a good Sunday and please give me feedback, it honestly really helps.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Creating Spaces in your life

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If you didn’t know my Life Coaching programme will be starting again, Summer Project 2023 and am working on a Printable which will be out next week. However I wanted to write this as I was watching Pepper Princess on Youtube and she was talking about how she is very minimal and spends nothing, and inspired me and wanted to write this blog, about creating spaces in our lives to do the things we love and stop doing the things we don’t love, and I like to create space to develop a positive mindset and stop feeling bogged down of the things I have that has no place in my life anymore. Part of creating is to let go.

This a photo of where my and my son walked during the Holidays and is in Morden Hall Park, one of our favourite places to walk

I did a challenge in March to declutter for a whole month and it was s therapeutic to see less around me and have continued, because I do want to buy some new clothes, as I have had a lot of clothes with holes and are too big and items I am never going to wear.Its not just clothes though, I have a obsession with notepads and now I am use mainly my diary and one note don’t need to use a notebook, and use them to help me make notes for the books I want to write and not going to buy anymore until I have used what I have and I feel good in creating this space. I would like my own stationary one day but not at the moment.

Then there is money. I have created a board on my Pinterest as I have rebuilt space to manage my money and not hide away from it. I did a video for my channel My Way of Living about my financial habits, because money however much you avoid it, needs to be managed and you need have space to help with that. I check my bank account everyday and feel that doing that has helped me be more financially happy and cut down on my spending habits and if I can’t afford something I don’t spend it.

Being a parent it is my duty and role to make space to spend time with my son and make sure I am fully present and that means stop my Social media viewing and this is a space that I am not willing to compromise, because I like this time. It has helped me keep fit because he is full of energy, and wants to play a lot and I am always in stitches because he gets me out of bed in the mornings, and will direct me when we play sport of where he wants me to stand, like when we play football he will literally move me to a space he wants me to stand and just writing that makes my want to giggle because they say that roles change as your kids look after you, but thought this happened when they are in their 20’s how wrong am I?

This leads to me making space to rest and recuperate.and exercise. Like I say spending time with my son helps me with exercise but do make the time aswell as that, by walking and using my dumbbells and mat, and do many different things, and use Youtube for a routine and then make sure I wind down properly each day to help me sleep well and rest, I no longer suffer with burn out and because I creating space to properly relax and make space to do some reading.

I love a good book and reading before bedtime after having a nice cup of tea.

Then there is space to have fun, with your kids, spouse or partner and seeing friends. We can forget to do this when we have a lot to manage, but again important. Set a date with your friends and meet for lunch. I have often meet my mum for lunch up London and just going for a lovely walk and being in a different place. The last weekend of the Easter Holiday I went to the South Coast to see friends I had not seen for a long time and it was a success, and not going to leave it so long next time and do more trips to see friends and family too.

I hope this helps you and yes as of the beginning of May I will begin my Life Coaching programme and so if you like to be updated of my when I post a blogs and videos remember to subscribe.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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Changes to my Life Coaching Programme 2023

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So if you don’t know for the last two years I have developed a Life Coaching programme to have a better life and a better year, and because I have had some great feedback want to continue and was doing one from April to May and a Summer Project from July to August, but this year I have decided to to merge them both together and be the Summer Project 2023 and will run from 1st of May to the 31st August.

I am putting together a printable and sharing the topics I want ti cover and what to expect from my Life Coaching programme.

Once I have done this I will upload, and if there are topics you’d like me to cover then please leave suggestions in the comments below.

All feedback matters because it helps to grow my content and cover many different areas to help you have a better life.

I have already been putting different resources on my Pinterest and if you’d like to check this out before my Life Coaching programme begins then check it out here:

I will be adding to this so do check it out and I have some other boards that you may find helpful too.

I am really looking forward to it and you giving me feedback by liking my previous life coaching blogs, has helped contribute that and I know that what I cover is doing what I want it to do, to help be happy with life and growing each day, week, month and year.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Dealing with defeat and creating wins

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Watching Match of the day this morning, which is a programme showing the soccer matches played at the weekend, it made me think about accepting defeat as in football someone has to win or lose, with the occasional draw, and how it feels when you have tried so hard but it leads to negative results and can be gut wrenching if you support a team. My team is Chelsea, and would often go and watch them with my mum, and sitting in a rainy stadium and losing can be like “Why did we bother?”. Of course it was up to us to book tickets but if it something you do each weekend and where you can forget other things in life, it can be a great way to spend the afternoon at the weekend, but hoping for a win is essential and part of playing in such a sport.

Photo by Mizuno K on Pexels.com

In thinking about this, so do we. We want to have a brilliant half term without tears and tantrums, like I have been trying this Easter holidays and we want to be able to reach those targets we have set ourselves, and goals. Life is full of ups and downs, and as you grow from my own perspective it is about learning to be more resilient and not allowing hurdles affect us from getting a win.

It does take reputation and going through what is working and what it is not. Giving yourself extra time to manage the losses in our lives to turn them into a win.

When I write a blog I hope to get a good response and receive likes and helps me to see what topics you like and find helpful, and for you to have wins and when we feel defeated.

I have been in tears when England Soccer team has lost and was how I fell in love with the game, in 1994 when England lost to what was West Germany and then became obsessed with the sport and would also watch a Rugby League team called the London Broncos and would go to every game and it was great time of my life, but getting slaughtered was not nice, but never really got sad because I still loved the atmosphere and enjoyed the people I went with, but when they got to the Challenge Cup Final which is a yearly tournament I cried due to following them for so long and was the first time we had gotten to the final and so was an amazing occasion. We lost in the final but it was still a great day and you need defeat in order to improve. When I applied to work at a Holiday Camp the first time I applied I didn’t get passed the interview stage, so applied the following year and was successful and taught me to never give up.

It is all about practice and learning from others and building our skills and knowledge to get better at something. I couldn’t ride a bike but then using one of my friends bikes and used stabilizers I kept trying and finally developed the skill and became natural skill in the end. Things take time, and for me I like to take baby steps, because when I jump in to quickly is when it can cause me to not want to continue. I do believe that people have natural abilities, like I always had a natural ability when playing sports and I am good at remembering numbers, like my passcode on my phone and telephone numbers, etc and dancing. I have a talked about that a lot, and I made mistakes and went wrong in one of my exams I took and eventually won the cup which I had hoped to have done, the cup for the highest marks and so glad that I made mistakes as you need to to get better at something to gain those wins in your life.

I not always been a good loser and would get very grumpy about it and been jealous of other success, but you need people to do better than you, and have experience so you can pick these skills up yourself.

My son at the moment is having issues with someone scoring a goal, when we play football, but I am teaching him about being fare and not getting upset because it will help him develop his skills and Sir Alex Ferguson who was the manager for Manchester United, he had defeats and then became one of the most successful football managers of all time and eventually won trophies and that is the other thing is, to have a good team of people around to help with defeat to winning and develop the players skills and knowledge and get better with each match they play.

Never see it as failure but building your knowledge and understanding.

Have a great rest of the Easter Holidays. My son today is at a children’s holiday club and I am planning my Life coaching programmes coming up my 2023 Project and my Summer Project 2023. These will happen in May, June, and July and August.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X