Category Archives: Weekly posts

Life coaching blog/What should you be grateful for when nothing seems to be going your way?

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I have been a lot about the POSITIIVITY AND CHANGE YOUR MINDSET but what should you be grateful for when nothing sees to be going your way?

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Please feel free to rip my head off for no reason. | Work humor, Call center humor, Ecards funny

Lets cut to the chase. You will always gonna have shit days. I know it hits me but that is it in a nutshell, and I suppose the question next is, Well whats the point of wanting to change my life then?

It is looking at the things that bring you joy like Marie Kondo says, and is like a plaster of life. He is what you can do to make it better to be grateful of friends and the outside world.

Well its do you want more better days rather than those days where you wish you could start again? #letssayittogether YES!

I did a midnight video just now as I write the blog post and you can find it via my channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

This blog is Sponsered by Mind.org who do wonderful work with people who want to change their life and support them with #mentalhealth and help get their life on track.

You can never control certain days and events that happen, like someone in the family getting sick and as parent do clean up pooh explosions, but we can make it better by giving ourselves time to view, address and reflect, and doing something like Self Care, which includes self development. This lighting a scented candel with a scent you love, with some chill out music.

Have an unplanned meal. Meal plans are good as I used to do this, but it is good to have a free choice meal day, for example and you do something not planned making meal time, even if the most of the day has been bad, good in the end.

This is where keeping a journal is good as this helps to view, address and reflect on those days and how you can learn from those days whenever they happen.

We can not control when a child or the whole family get sick all in one go, however much you sanitize and keep bad bacteria at bay, but will have a movie on or all go to bed early some days. Whenever I had a bad day when I was with him, I would go to bed when he did and often watch TV in bed together.

When I did this I would feel a lot better the next day and the thought “Well I got through that day and did I die?”, if you are reading this email after a bad day, then the answer is NO.

Set a date with yourself to take time out doing something different if you don’t often get to go out on your own. This can be meeting and going for a coffee with friend for lunch or going out in the evening, there is a drink with my name of on it mode, and go for that end of the week drink.

I loved it one time when on Fridays I would work up London, after a long week go to a bar afterwards and dance, sing on Karoake and paint the town red.

When the theatres open again, go and see a show, I love doing this, even if it is once or twice a year, even if it is a outdoor show, go and see it. Book that show, book a meal and take yourself out of the normal rushing week, and enjoy. I love seeing shows and I would recommend the Tina Turner Story show, Bat out of Hell and Chicago. I would go see these again, and even seen the stage show of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Soon I will be working on some shows too in London at my favourite venues, Live at the Apollo and at the London Palladium and Hard Rock calling.

Remember those days where it is not going our way, that they won’t last long and there are still good days on the horizon. They always pass and take time to exhale and be with yourself to gather your thoughts and set a date to have a TV evening. I would often do this, Saturdays were mine as a kid and would watch endless shows, and Sundays would be seeing our friends in Fulham and Chelsea. It is good to see different; people some weeks, as we often just need a change of scene.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest page and remember to follow if you would like to read more:

Life Coaching/Tracking your happiness/Creating a Happiness Journal

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Posted by in career building, Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Everyday living, Goal setting, Love, People, Personal Development, project 2021, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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I am going to do a series of posts which will have a free printable so you can start creating a Happiness Journal either by printing it out in A5 for a filofax, to stick into a notebook, to develop your own EBook and to print it out in A4 aswell, as you may want to attach them to a vision board or a fridge. I have put together on Youtube two play lists, one is my Life coaching vids and another of other peoples videos that I wanted to add to my tools and information for Life Coaching to help you to have a better life and a better year.

So in this one I have a front cover sheet in A5 and A4 and a happy tracker sheet in these sizes too:

a4-front-cover-idea-for-happy-journal-printableDownload
a5-size-of-happiness-journalDownload
a-happy-trackerDownload
happy-tracker-a5-sizeDownload

You can even create your own cover for the Happiness Journal print outs.

It is addressing anything that seems to pull you down and makes you feel unworthy or inadequate, pointless and illimunating the negativity so we can put it a place that you know its there but not going to effect you.

Check out my Playlist of my Life Coaching Videos and others I have saved that can help you, that have helped me too.

Playlist 1: My Lifecoaching videos and advice

Playlist 2: Others Life coaching videos

Happiness was said to not be reachable and it is impossible to be happy, but I disagree, everyone wants to be happy. Some may go about it the wrong way, but that is what us humans always want.

So keep following me and if you think my blogs on this site will also help a friend or relative that you know then please give us a shout out.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Life Coaching/Manipulative People/Gain control/Give them Control/Be on guard

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Youtube videos

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Before I begin this blog post I want to share this video I came across on Youtube about Manipulative people and this lady gives some really good tips on how to deal with thoe who do this:

Manipulative people can be anywhere and lay beneath the surface so at first you think they are okay and they often want to gain your trust so when their true identity comes alive you then see “Oh God I have made friends with the wrong person”.

They can be very sneaky as they can start to crawl towards other people you know and then you get pushed out, but once that other person disappears they suddenly become your friend again. They will often be two faced and twist what you say and only hear what they want.

These types of people can often pick on you for know reason, and then walk away because they hae caused an argument and then pretend that it was someone else or you. They lose the sense of the truth as they lie a lot and their motives are often wrong as they just decided that because you are popular with people that they will become your friends to be your enemy later.

What you need to do is Gain Control and say “Do you know you just made a snidy comment”. If they smile and shrug their shoulders then they see that you know what they’re are doing, and so move away.

When it comes to manipulative you don’t want to take fully control, but make sure you still give them some control by saying “Do you fancy another drink? So we can have a chat”.

If they then decide to move away then you have gain perspective and they know you are going to confront them, which can detour them and then they will often avoid you.

People who twist and turn the things you say, or act as if everything you say is rubbish they are actually lashing out as they don’t like it, a lot of the time when you don’t see it their way and its their way or the highway. They feel that they should be right all of the time, and hate it when you are. They will have one voice that is plain and non expressive and will talk at you, not to you.

So, if you come across someone like this Gain some control, but still allowing them some too and be on guard, to let them know you what they are doing and that you are’gonna address it and its gonna stop.

#letworktogther to be happy and have a wonderful Wednesday.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday Weekly Post/Monday Vid/Events you can’t control and the things you can

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, journal, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome! It is Monday late afternoon and I have Monday video for you to share, and this in video I talk about Events you can’t control and the things you can.

It is all about how you see things. When I have a traumatic event in my life that I couldn’t control I would automatically shut down to spend time coming to terms with and then give myself time to move on. For me it is gradual process, but what I have done that has always been the one thing that has helped me gain perspective, as that is the key, is to journal and then say, “Okay so where do i want to go now and how will I go about giving myself peace in addressing this event, so it doesn’t hurt me any more?”.

Life is about building and rebuilding as certain events we can’t control like COVID, comes into our life to turn it upside down, so it has meant that many having to work at home whilst the kids are shouting and screaming, being off school and then having to be the teacher aswell as the parent. Some people can easily adjust to this when others are left with thinking “Where do i start?”

For me it was “Okay, I will in this time spend that amount of time with Henry, so in the morning and then this amount of time to do work”. You find a way and for me it meant working and using the evenings, weekends when he would be looked after by someone else to have a break, and it is “Take one step at a time”.

Never rush in, but say “How can I deal with this and make it pain free?” So use some of the time to all of you in the family including your kids create a family meal. I do believe that Cookery should be bought back into schools, having your kids organize the grocery shopping for a change. If we aren’t have a load of picnic’s in the park, why not have one in the garden.

As I see it “You find a way of making it easy” and follow the day.

So, more blogs to come and have a good rest of the week.

many thanks for watching my videos and reading this blog,

Carrie L.M X

Concentrating on Good Things In life that can empower you through the year

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Posted by in Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, People, Personal Development, Positive Habits, project 2021, Weekly posts, Work

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Hello and I am writing this on Sunday, but I don’t post any live blogs on this day so will be up live tomorrow.

So Concentrating on Good Things In life that can empower you through the year.

Find what makes you tick, and look for inspiring videos that can give you empowerment. When I used to go running and I had that “I have no energy to do a run” I found some running motivation videos on Youtube and listening to one of those made me go out and run, before I changed my mind again.

We often at times look at our lives and our rooms, and homes thinking “My world cluttered, I feel overwhelmed and feel like I am never gonna be tidy or stress free”, but yes you can.

I wrote a book on amazon.com about making one change a day:

Things to Change one day at a time : Life doesn’t have to be fast pace but easy, simple and flexible by [Carrie Lee Holmes ]

Doing one thing a day can make a huge difference and what empowers me everyday is listening to music, just one or two songs, and that helps kick start my day.

Plan a day just for you, as we all deserve a day where we can be lazy or some people I know love Sundays For example to have a day in bed. I did this some weekends and it is just to relax not have to rush anywhere, no errands or to dos and just a day of Peace and Quiet.

Spend time documenting days where you see family and friends, or now we are soon I hope to be out of Lockdown that you can see family again and why not film to development more happy Memories and why not plan a Post Lockdown Family reunion.

Watch videos or documentaries that inspire you and make you get the most of each day. I sometimes if I have a Takeaway will watch a comedy series i haven’t watched for a while and I try to do different things at the weekend, and it is good to have a Takeaway Friday or Pizza Tuesday or Saturday. I even like today as i wrote this love having a Curry Sunday rather than roast.

I also have days where I don’t wear make up and days when I do, and have created a photobook to help me remind of looks I have done and it really has helped with my confidents and feel good about myself.

Have breakfasts at the weekend or during Holiday days that you wouldn’t have in a normal week. I love a cooked breakfast sometimes and i will eat a lot more fruit, and I have a separate Travel Journal that I keep especislly for holidays. I love documenting good days aswell some challenging days.

Jusr get as much out of each day as possible and make time for from the norm and use what inspires you to have a better, happy and fulfilling life.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Life Coaching/How to be a Mentor to others

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Hello and welcome! Watching Prince Philips Funeral it made me see that he wasn’t just a father, Prince and a husband, he was also a Mentor, and that is a role that can stem from experience and helping kids not make mistakes that he did as a young man and boy.

4,607 Window Cleaning Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

To be a Mentor you have to be approachable and give support to those who want you to use your experience and knowledge for them and give guidance. The Duke of Edinburgh would lead the troops and the foot shoulders to help protect him, the Queen his wife and his family and yes he did come from a priviledged back ground, but never forgot those who didn’t and this is why he created the Duke of Edinburgh Award.

It is good to teach kids life skills that will help them in the future and even fello adults, as we are always learning, and it can be as simple as teaching someone who to create a C.V, practice Job Interview skills and do odd jobs.

Many kids when I was growing up helped the local milkman who came round our estate, would do a paper round, like I did at Sunday school did Community work, by picking up rubbish and at my Secondary School I did a Community Sports Leader Award, which was a very good qualification I did and it is basically putting together a sports programme or session for kids.

There are Mentoring Schemes in the UK that you can do, and they are run by local non-profit organisations and it can be like my Aunty Min used to do, and that is Dog Walking.

Having a Dad who was a Window Cleaner was very handy and an Uncle who was a Postman, and we had a friend who was a Carpet fitter, work for the local cleansing departments in London, as we will always need people doing these jobs.

Never underestimate those industries as it does mean working very early in the morning, but what they do is discipline you and get your structured so if in the end you want to teach others to do these jobs and use it to work for yourself, like Window Cleaning you can.

People like Mentors as they are usually normal folk who want to help others into work and have a purpose in life.

So if you have Skill to share why not do so as they can be valuable lessons and can help ground and build for a wonderful future.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

When Bestfriends Damage your Health physically and Mentally

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Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, friendship, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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So, I did a blog about how Bestfriends can help your health, but what happens when a friend turns out to be an enemy and can damage our health physically and mentally.

When I become a friend of someone I become a friend for life, and so for me the relationship of friendship is important to me and what I see in a friend is someone who loves your company like you to with them, and have many things in common.

If they start to make snidy comments, start excluding you from nights out and use you to be friends with other people then blank you, it can then develop into not feeling like you don’t belong, to feeling of self-worth and that you in someway have upset them but you don’t know why. With friendships if I feel it is starting to turn I keep away and will further the gap between them.

1# Have some guard up and don’t be so trusting

They will comeback and be all nice again, yet as soon as another friend turns up they partner with them to then push you out of the way.

In this instants for me I tend to leave them be and say “They’ll soon come back and if there is another friend I can talk to, then I do”.

2# Never see is as it is you, because it isn’t it is them.

Friends can make you worry about certain things that you didn’t before like you body image and that like i experienced i was told by a girl at school that i was boring about talkng about my favourite TV show The Bill and that i would talk about my holiday to America.

It did hit a nerve, but I did lose all respect by those that was also part of that, and that person who said this to me started talking about The Bill and so it was okay for her, but no for me.

3# When you see triggers like this, its time to move away and keep your boundaries and let them know what your boundaries are

Friends because they are you friends see it as an excuse to be unkind, but it is also the gut instinct to say “No I am not feeling this friendship now its time to move away”.

Please never fear there are always other friendships.

You can become Socially awkward and go back into the shell you once lived in and hid. You can start to have Social Anxiety because you feel in adequant around friends who make you feel this way.

4# If it is a group of friends turning on you, find the instigator and have a word with them alone. You’ll see its because they feel you are weaker then then but when you want to chat with you they don’t. They turn on you, cause they see you as an easy touch. No its them.

Long life friends are the ones that really are when they stick around and you may have drifted apart but the love of your friendship is still there., and even though you may have your own lives, you still love seeing one another.

When a friendship drifts apart it can feel like you have lost a part of a limb because long life friends can often have a bigger inpact, and when you go separate ways it can be a huge justment and make you feel sad for a while and that you want to get the friendship back to where it was, but sometimes you do have to give friendships space.

5# if you don’t wanna lose a friends you have known forever has changed find another way that they can still be in your life but in a different way

So how i have done it, is through Social media like Facebook and Instagram but by sending a letter or a card occasionally. This can feel to them a warm hug to say I know we are not really in each others lives, you still love them and you are there should they wish to return to see you physically again.

I think with Lockdown in my case it has bought people to be closer like my son, that at the moment I don’t get to see him all of the time.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Is Having a Bestfriend Good for Health in terms of mental and physical

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Posted by in Everyday living, Friendships and relationships, Love, People, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Wordpress blog about having a bestfriend

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So I have had many Bestfriends, one being my longlasting Friend Hayley and we grew up with eachother as babies and adulthood and our boys, her eldiest was born close to my son Henry, and even though we development different friendships and started to do our own thing, we have always known that eachother are there.

Girls Best Friends Image & Photo (Free Trial) | Bigstock

One of my bestfriends in Peabody, who was a sister to me, a girl named Kelly, we would spend days outside on her block having a way of a time, looking after her sibling, her sister and we again drifted appart, but it did kind of give me a sense of worth having a bestfriend. She knew that I was still around and the same that I knew she was, but was attacked by another girl on the estate when we lived, and I was in the same fascinaty when it happened, but I had know idea it was her, but she ended up being brain damaged, and I have never seen her again. I was sad, when I found out she was now in hospital hanging on to life.

It has been discovered that bestfriends can really help in terms of Depression, worry and Anxiety, it can make us feel secure in some way, that there is at least, when you may have many people against you, someone on your side and someone who doesn’t judge or interrupt, but listens, and you can talk about anything and everything.

Back before the internet it was the norm back when I was a kid to play on the streets in the Estate, and it did have value in my life, as we learned to get on with other children and form friends. It was natural source of happiness having friends to ask if they wanted to “Play out” and we would with our bikes, Rollerskates and pushchairs. playout all day long sometimes.

A Bestfriend for me was a good foundation, and it gave me comfort just knowing even if we didn’t see eachother all the time, that they were there as said and going to concerts together, playing Top Of The Pops where we would take turns in singing songs in the charts and doing pretend play again where sometimes we were school teachers, talking in the staff room, in each of our bedrooms and my friend Hayley and I would plan what we were gonna play when she next played and stayed over in my flat and the same when I stayed with her.

Having holidays together, cause you are sharing the memories of them with a bestfriend and its good for the soul to have someone who you have things in common with. So for me yes I think having bestfriend is good for the health as me and my friend Hayley would run up to eachother when we saw one another and played what seemed forever and we were planning one time, that we would live together and have a bedroom just for our Barbies.

So, I shout and gonna campaign to have a Bestfriends day or week to celebrate the Bestfriends we have had in our lives cause they great for the Soul, the mind and makes you physically alive to as you are talking nonstop not feeling awkward or self consciuous but comfortable and content.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Life Coaching/Real Life of a Working Mother

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Hello and welcome! So if you haven’t seen any of my previous life coaching blogs then feel free to check them out, and I have also been making a lot of videos for my Life Coaching programme “Project 2021” check out my channel A Typical London Gal.

I never overshadow the struggles in my life and I have talked about them in books and blog posts, and I like to create a true picture. There was a time whereby my work wasn’t being respected, yet I never disrespected anyones work. I was in an unhappy marriage, and many people took sides, and I also found out more of what the person I was married to was doing. I have had a lot chucked at me, but I am still standing.

I never thought I’d be in a position where I’d needed to fight as much as i have and it really took its toll at one point, where I was super stressed and last year I was a totally different me, to the point now I ask myself “How the hell did I get through that?” but I did.

When it comes to Real life of a working mother, you get a lot of judgement. People who don’t want to support you, want to shame you instead, and I see it a lot, If people have their own view on life, but why do we feel the need to put someone elses parenting skills down. I ask the questions, “Does the kid look healthy? Do they laugh and have fun a lot? Do they look like the world is on their shoulders? Honestly, with kids you’ll soon know.

I did write a new blog on a new site I have created called In A Life of a writer, and I will be sharing my life of an author of many Books, and reallife picture of being a Mummy blogger.

There are people who don’t like the word #blogger, but I don’t mind it at all. I mean that is what we are doing, Writing blogs so why not be called a “Blogger”?

Yesterday when I began this blog, and was filming a Get Ready with me video, my son came up and said hello, and had a piece of chocolate and went to have a pooh, yes sorry for putting you off your Sugar Puffs, and telling the world that he was Farting. That is little boys for you, and cause he had, had some chocolate there was a chance I’d end up with chocolaty fingers all over a new dress I was wearing.

So that is real life and why cover it over, when I am sure, people can relate to it.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Monday Blog with Monday Video/Developing change into your life

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Posted by in Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, Goal setting, Personal Development, Weekly posts, Work, Youtube videos

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Hello and Happy Monday! So I have been creating a series of Life Coaching videos for a programme I am doing called “Project 2021” and here is a video I did today talking about How to Develop changes into your life:

Many thanks for reading and watching and I will be back with more posts on this site this week so see you then.

Carrie L.M X