This idea came from watching a Youtube Video by Kate Kaden and each month I give to the local foodbanks in London and work for a Charity. I present a show for my local hospital and it gives me such a buzz. The Winter can be tough and so if you can cook a hot meal for someone that you know is on their own, can do a world of good. Or even buying them a coffee and give them your time to chat.
In the winter I find it hard to see those doing all they can to earn money from selling the Big Issue and people walking passed, knowing that they can really make a difference. We do have families who are struggling to put food on the table. Why in this day in age have people needing to go to a foodbank?
I’ve watched Call the Midwife and feel from the times that the programme is based on learnt nothing.
The high street is suffering, the prices on utilities are going up and I have been to a supermarket and had to cancel items having absolutely nothing and it is the worst feeling in the world.
This is not to make you feel guilty in anyway. It doesn’t have to be materialistic but just your time. One of my sons schools friends parent who’s child was in his class would use her to listen to children read and I love volunteering. So rewarding. At many of the staff at the local garden centres are volunteers.
When I do my shopping and I am asked if I’d like to give a donation and I say yes. It can be lending books to your neighbours if they are alone or if they’d like to go for a walk. Have a joint Christmas with neighbours. I remember when I was kid and we moved from one block of flats to another the lady opposite us looked after me and we often go to other’s homes when living on a housing estate.
There’d be Christmas parties on the Estate and I loved them or Christmas Bingo nights.
Such a massive community and wonder if that still happens now on Housing Estates. I see many in the library where my son gets tutored until he gets a place in a school, are people who visit it and are alone.
There are often events in libraries and run my volunteers. If you are struggling joining the library can be a good way to save money on books or visit charity shops. I buy most of my books from Charity shops and our library does free coffee and drinks, like juice and so can be a good way to meet people.
So if you can make a difference and have some time spare, it can be good for you and the reciprocate. M
There was a time where I took things for granted and not opening my eyes to the world. The moments I spent with my grandparents, forgetting that one day they will be gone and like with my dad, not realising that one day I will have to go it alone without him. I am very aware now that, the small moments are precious and everyday should be lived. My life is not all put together, there is still so much out there for me to learn and not an expert of laying things to rest, and still have no sense of direction and still struggle with socialising, but I love the time I spend with my family, my son and he has really taught me a lot.
He lives in the moment and see that we are not meant to be good at everything, but why each day should teach you something. Example: Learning how from others, like my mum, my husband and from other parents. My husband today got my son to help cook and make his own breakfast. I felt a little begrudged., but that’s my own insecurity and I like cooking for my son, but if he asks to help then I need to not get nervous about it, and its my duty as a parent, as I see it, to teach him life skills, to have him learn to cook but I am no master chef so I have had to learn to cook too.
When I make a nice meal I do feel so proud, when I have not burnt the scrambled egg or invented a meal that’s gone well, feel like I could get a Michelin star for parent cooking and hope my son asks for beans on toast on some days.
I do dwell on the passed and I still remember as a kid where I got in trouble with touching someone in the flats I lived, car, when all the other kids were doing the same, but the girl who told her mum did it because she had decided not to like me. I still remember how I felt about that, but what can I do, I can’t go back but use it to learn and there will always be someone who doesn’t like you and will never see it from your opinion, as many, as learned, in customer service, have already decided what they want to hear and so when they don’t it is a travesty, to them. Your their enemy and everyone should bow at their feet and I am no, you have no morals and learned that there isn’t good in everyone and people who just want to hate on others.
I am not here to change the world and what is important to me and what direction do I want to go.
Life is full of surprises example I never thought I’d be doing this writing a blog and making videos. Dancing was my skill I naturally had and then playing football. I love coaching and teaching and was good at training others and so why I created this blog because I have find life a struggle but now I embrace it and it is taken a lot to get here, to feel this way.
I am learning that I am no rugby player, when I go to kick the ball and completely miss it and when my son wants me to do be on all fours to pretend to do a scrum, how the Astroturf hurts my knees. but its all about doing your best and my son gets annoyed with me if it takes me ten times to kick the ball that he can catch. Then he wants me to tackle him and go and get the ball. I do it because I love my son and it builds my steps and saves an argument. Yes I know I should lay down the law but makes it hard and then I am having tantrum.
When it comes to singing my son will tell me to shut up and wish I had a voice like Celine Dion and be able to bale out The Power Of Love and then visioning myself as a member of the Bangles or Cyndi Lauper. But I now work on radio and love it and getting compliments of the music I am playing, so I am never going to get a record deal so getting to play it, is just as good.
At the same time I enjoy it and that is the biggest lesson. If you don’t enjoy it, then stop feeling you have to continue. We aren’t here to enjoy everything. You’re still a human and will have dislikes and that is okay.
This blog is part of my Change Your Life training to enjoy life more and to love your life and yourself. I did my first video for it and so check this out. It is about Coming last: https://youtu.be/xOfn9eS8hxU
I am a little sad this week because of a Comedian called Duncan Norvellle died this week and I saw him live in Blackpool one summer season with Frank Carson and wish that some people would live for ever because people like Duncan, comedy has always helped me through the down days which I can often feel during Winter.
Having little day light can bring on the loss you feel and like my family members gone, because it’s so final, but tell myself that I will see them again. Many may not believe they will and that is fine, but for me it brings me peace and not fear death. Sorry if this is morbid. You don’t have to continue reading this blog if you feel uncomfortable about it, because death is a tricky subject and when that person has gone you can feel guilty in celebrating Christmas, knowing that they will no longer be there and losing them, can feel so strong because of their absence.
Keep with traditions. This can be a good way to help make them feel that they are still with you via keeping with the traditions that person had at Christmas time. Like having a tipple that person had had, when Bobby Ball died, who was part of a double act I loved, Cannon and Ball, held a gala and put out Bobby Ball’s shoes and his red braces on a chair.
Have your guests help you if they can raise funds for a charity. This can provide support to you if you have lost someone from a Stroke, a heart attack or Alzheimer’s, Diabetes and I each month I donate money or food to a local food bank. So needed at Christmas time as inflation goes up.
Light a candle with a picture of the person you have lost. Some people may feel a bit uncomfortable in doing that, but can help celebrate that persons lives and have people fill in a memorial book, sharing their stories and messages.
Create a scrapbook or a photo book of photos. Something your kids can do and do as a family and create messages, write letters or create a gallery. I love it near the Southbank towards Vauxhall, where there are hearts. This is memorial of those who died from COVID and can leave a message of someone you know who died of the disease. So if you visiting London, then check it out and write a message if you lost someone to COVID and take a photo that you can keep and feel we still have a connection with the person spiritually.
It is hard because Christmas is about Jesus being born and not grieving of someone who has died and if I could stop people from passing away at Christmas time I would because it feels like, life is unfair and when my nan died, it felt different that it too a while to get used to, because we always spent Christmas with my nan, because my life as I knew it was suddenly gone. This is why I do still have snowball at Christmas, having traditional Christmas dinner and watch my son opening up his presents like those who have passed did when they were alive and so keeping their memory alive.
Hello! Today is the beginning of my Winter Wellness programme that I have created to help you have a good winter when we can feel gloomy and fatigued all day and not wanting to get out of bed.
As I write this blog I am listening to Enya who I love playing when it comes to winter time. Yesterday I posted my printable on introducing this new programme I have created Winter Wellness Programme Begins
Image I took when we took my son and his cousin to the Winter Christmas event in Wimbledon.
So going to cover in this programme:
Wrapping up the year to get ready for the new year.
How to get through the darker days and nights
Cozy nights and what would you like to do in the Winter
Slowing down and do less
Setting goals for winter
Making the most of the daylight
Good Wellness Practices I use to enjoy the Winter time
My dad was never a fan of New years Eve as it is Winter here in the UK and I tended to get emotional about it. I would set resolutions that I never followed through with. So what I did instead was make life changes and helped me with following through and stick to the changes I wanted to make.
In the printable I have included a section to write down goals, go through your current routine and what you want to change and enjoy. Like what TV do I want to watch, meals I enjoy having and drink too.
I like winter walks and taking part in a Winter Walk this winter in January, in London and going to a pantomime or show. I like winter drinks, such hot chocolate, a mulled wine and winter ciders, making sure I am sensible, but just slow down and using the bleak days better by doing things I enjoy.
So in the work book go through what you enjoy and if it is to go on holiday to a warmer country then that is fine. One year I went away on holiday at Christmas. It was a brilliant experience and would like to do that again one Christmas time. I love Christmas and winter markets. I like to watch some old films and repeats of TV specials and new ones.
I am doing No spend January again this year where by I buy only what I need and still go out for a coffee to help stop me being on my laptop all of the time, but not spending money on clothes I don’t need or get carried away because of the New Year sales.
I like to plan my budget and planning for the new year and reflect on the year gone.
I really hope you get a lot of out of it, my Winter Wellness programme and if you’d like to be alerted when I post on this site and will be making videos too on my Educational Youtube channel too, please subscribe. Here is the link to this channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CarrieEducationalYoutube-ws4xp
There will be people who think differently to you and we try to think okay “Lets see if I can alter their way of thinking”, but there are people who won’t change their opinion, no matter what. I have come to realise that there are people who will always think that they’re right and your wrong.
Yet there are people who will be like “I didn’t think about that” and start to change their point of view and you agree to disagree. So how can you mend your differences with others?
Well think about it. Would it be good if everyone agreed with you? It would be great but people aren’t like that, different minds make you evaluate a persons persona. It can trigger emotions such as, “There is nothing in the world for you” “Everyone is against you” because you seem to get struck down and then you resent them.
Are they worth your time? Yes there is the political points of view. Hence why we have different parties in our government and wars. Yet if it is just a different view on something and doesn’t cause a death then just settle it by acknowledging them and say “Okay well that is fair enough” or “Okay” and move on. It doesn’t have to mean your life is over because they think that something is straight and you think it is wonky.
Is it worth having a heated argument?
I remember me and my husband had a argument about a draw and looking back at it, it was just a draw and the way we organise will always be different. It was around the time where he was trying to give up smoking so was extra agitated and it was that I could share a plate of chips but not a draw and as I edit and write this blog, is making me laugh over it, because I can imagine being in court being asked “So what was the issue?” “Oh a draw and a plate of chips”. Is this worth spending money on a divorce lawyer, how important was the draw? Not a lot.
Things have changed, but we do still respect each other and it is what is best for our son.
I like to eat and wash up and when I finish, but my husband gets pissed off so to stop the argument I will do it as I go and it does save time. There are people who like to lay out their make up, but I like it to be in a storage bin but still be accessible but when it comes to cleaning the window and windowsill in my bedroom, I can lift it up and put it back.
I like a cupboard but believe in out of sight and out of mind, so if it something I don’t use all the time I put it away. My husband hates reading but I love it and love reading, but I am not going to think “Oh wow you should read blah blah” because it is up to him. He likes playing games on his phone and I use mine to make notes, go through emails and listen to music and watch Youtube along with some TV and use a Journal app.
Not everyone will be on the same page no matter how much we try to make them see, so now I just evaluate and think is it worth fighting for? Is it worth slamming doors to get them to see it from your eyes?
Not saying that people aren’t entitled to have point of view, of course they are, but chatting about it, not using it to have a slagging match, calling each other names, but just with a coffee or tea, and if they still don’t agree then end it and let them believe what they want, unless it is causing harm to others, but keep it civil. Arguments don’t need to last forever and just put it to rest, rather than brewing and not getting upset and angry.
Life is how you make it and it time to let things go and be happy as best as you can I believe looking after each other and giving support to others. If you’d like to this blog then please click below this blog and if you’d like to be notified when I post a blog then please subscribe.
Hello and welcome to another Cheat Sheet, which is sharing some Acts Of Kindness and how you can be a comfort to those on their own and want some company.
It is all about making a difference and helping one another as it can be a challenging world but can be helped by helping those in need and just having a hot meal for someone who are on their own. I work for a local hospital radio show and I love it.
It can be just a simple as that and if your alone then it will benefit you too.
These Cheat Sheets are free to download and share, and can be printed off and if you’d like to read more of my blogs and printables on this site, then please subscribe.
It is coming close to the season of cheer and joy, but for some it can be the worst time of the year if they have experienced trauma or a loss of someone. This can affect our feelings. When my spark had gone for Christmas it made me feel that I couldn’t wait for it be over. I felt under pressure because of my gift will not be good enough and how much I pay matters, but now I know that is not true.
Now I love it and the birth of my son has helped and loves it and it taking it step by step. I wrote a long time ago about changing traditions: Creating new traditions So I go for a walk, prep for dinner or my husband does that and just chill.
So now any celebration I acknowledge it and set into play good days out, seeing family and going for a drink (remember safety) can help with creating memories that my son can cherish and the tables turn when you have kids, like when my Grandad died (my mums dad), she’d come to us for Christmas dinner rather than her cook, we then went back over to hers when she was in Sheltered Housing, being elderly so couldn’t go we went to hers so she wasn’t on her own and that we still celebrated as a family.
It is time take it easy and not allow it to beat you over the head of can’t afford it because we think the more expensive it is the more reassured that our family or friends know you love them and we get into debt which causes you to fear it. Your presents and time is enough and not about causing guilt or anxiety because you have lack of funds and if you need support than ask. Going to the Food Bank is not to make you devalued but is about getting support so you can still celebrate Christmas and I feel strongly that we shouldn’t have family needing to go to a foodbanks because all families should be given support by our government and reducing cost and Foodbank isn’t a dirty word and there is no price tag when it comes to love.
I each month now I give to the local Foodbank to help families. This is not an ad, but how I feel about the world and love to give and we should all be helping each other so we can have happiness and enjoy the festive season.
A cup of tea and breakfast: I look forward to breakfast now and plan what I am going to eat that will boost my energy each day.
Reading: I love a good book to read and its nice to do a bit of reading and helps build my knowledge and helps me with my writing.
Go for a walk: I read at the doctors last Monday, as I had my Mental Health review and on the wall was a leaflet saying, that just a 10 minute walk is still exercise and vary my walks and routes I like to walk that is peaceful and love a pond or a river.
Do some studying: I have been doing a lot of courses and this has helped me use my time wisely as there is so much I’d like to do and helped me with writing my blogs and focus on my own wellbeing and understanding the body and mind, and love studying and learning new skills and building my knowledge on life to help me and pass on my knowledge to others, build their wellbeing.
Set your goals: A lot of time we can feel overwhelmed when we hear about setting goals and take a lot of time, but that is not the case. Focus on what you want and can be a small goal or a large goal. I did my 2025 goals and didn’t take long at all and looked the areas and things I enjoy and will help me feel good and enjoy life as much as possible as it goes to fast.
Change jobs and lifestyle: I have worked for many large companies, like I was a steward at Fulham Football club, the manufacturer Philip and International Tennis Federation and Diners Club and it has helped me shape my life and found the working world suited me, because I like earning my own money, but often found I would get bored and as soon as I found myself dreading the day, knew that it is not for me anymore and moved on. I currently do volunteer work and I really enjoy it. I work for Epsom Hospital Radio and have my own show on Sunday’s 4pm to 6pm, and been focusing on the things I enjoy and why I have been doing courses and getting back into fundraising. I am doing a Winter Walk in London in January and so glad to be able to do these events again as I have had battles with my Mental Health and so focusing on what I really want to do, like writing and working on radio, doing more volunteer work.
Family Time: I like family time and taking my son out and playing sports and walking. I feel privileged to be his mum and love that he loves my attention and this week after dinner and bath time, in the evenings been watching Deal or No Deal and playing table tennis. This week was his birthday and I was nervous about it but seeing him enjoy himself and love his presents make me appreciate time I have with him and with seeing other members of the family, because it flies by and like feeling like I have had a good day being productive and love the little things, as well as the big things.
My life has not been pain sailing, like us all, there has been ups and downs and when my mum or dad told me off I would be like, it was the end of the world and that I am right and they’re wrong, and so unfair, and would envy my brother, because he is super confident, and girls running after him, whilst I sat on a bench at school by myself.
I have had to really work on my self. I could get jealous, bitter and self centered, like “How have they earned that?”, “Oh they are showing off and trying to be super popular”, or like when I was a primary school, a girl named Sherie, was so popular and all the boys fancied her, and everyone wanted her company and be friends with her. I felt ugly and envious, that I will never be her, like I wished to be.
My mental health took a turned for the worst, and battled with my feelings for a long time. There were times when I didn’t get out of bed, and would stay in, and now I have been discharged from the Mental Health hospital, so proud of myself that I got through my fight with my mental health and not allowing my inner critic to hold me back and stop feeling that I haven’t had a exciting life compared to others, and that the world is against me.
Here are some questions to ask,
Who do you want to be?
Do you feel unworthy and that you’ll never be as good as someone in your life?
Do you feel that noone understands you?
Writing a journal, can really help address your feelings and what is it that is really bothering you?
For me it was, well if I look like that, like Sherie, then I will be as popular and the kids would want to hang with me, but that wasn’t the case and started to form friends as I gradually went through school, but it took a long time, and would have fights and arguments and was bullied. In the end I was well respected at Primary school. It took the last year to experience that, but that I had come so far, and then wanted to start a fresh beginning, at secondary school.
The feelings didn’t disappear, and got stronger. I now look back it was once again that I wasn’t fitting in, and was told by a girl that I was boring, because I was a fan of a TV show The Bill, and would talk about it a lot, and took it, and glad for her honesty and yes it hurt my feelings, but then she wasn’t perfect and would get on people’s nerves, yet we did have fun together, so I let it go.
With those group of friends, they would be into wrestling and one of my friends did canoeing, and shared our love of music. They were the ones who got me into following a rugby team and when I felt like I couldn’t buy chips in McDonalds they got them for me, and introduced me to rock music and went to concerts together, and made friends at my dancing school, and my confidence began to increase.
I have been unkind, and blocked people, because I was feeling excluded and it really was affecting me, because felt it was a personal attack. Now though I glad that they have done well in their life and now in jobs that are high powered, and looking after themselves.
Our negative feelings can rub off on others. I have been with people who would constantly be complaining. I am lucky for having the people around me that keep the roof over my head and support me in looking after my son, and at the weekend I met up with friends who I met when I was working at a holiday camp, and felt so privileged to be in their company as we had a good catch up, and that we all, trying to build our lives and be happy. I can be awkward and shy still but when you meet people, and makes you feel that you’ve never been apart, the fear instantly goes, your inner critic gets pushed away making you feel that you are worthy and people love you, and stop putting your guard up, and not allow your fears get the better of you, but make you grow and be the person you wished to be, and telling people that you love them, can help you and them. There are a lot of people I love, because they have been a huge importance to my life, and been a great influence. I am kind, I will be on time, and I will make the effort.
When you have been through trauma, it can make you angry, and “Why me?”, “What have I done to deserve it?” and often its nothing, its life, it can be unpredictable. Noone knows what is around the corner for us, and so, talking about growing our happiness, ask yourself, do you want to be unhappy all through your life? I have had to rebuild, and make sense of situations, but often there isn’t an answer. I no longer want my inner critic stop me from going swimming and going for walks, from spending time with my son, and go for opportunities, that can open many doors for me. I no longer want to be counting calories, and worrying about my weight. If biscuits are going to make me feel guilty, then I am not going to eat them, if someone doesn’t say thank you when you open the door for them, because what’s the point, they don’t care and not allow me to have a bad day, but continue to be kind and not allow their ignorance to rub off.
So lets all work together in building and growing our lives, its never too late to be happy and grow your feelings, to feel better about yourself. I do write a blog where I talk about building confidence. Check it out via this link: https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/
Hello and welcome! It is Monday again and it is time for another Cheat Sheet which are completely free to download and please share if you wish.
This weeks Cheat Sheet is about Spending time with friends which can be so good for you and have a catch up and rather than being on your own all the time invite a friend to join you.
Social interaction can be a good source of therapy, sharing your problems and doing things you can enjoy with somebody else, like working out together, going out and share a flask of coffee or tea, and grow your relationships.
Everyone can build a castle 