Category Archives: having bad days

I talk about success an building your life but we all have bad days but these blogs will are to help and support you, and making life a success

Positivity is it a good or bad thing?

13 Tuesday Dec 2022

Posted by in Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Weekly posts

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I at the moment I have a stinking cold and when I feel like this I find it hard to stay positive because all I want to do is hide away and hibernate until it goes. Some people hate the word, because some say that “It’s not easy to stay positive all of the time”, and I do believe that this is true, because life takes over, and as much as I’d like to stay in bed all day, going on how I feel at the moment know I have responsibilities that need care. I don’t want to be grumpy when looking after my son, because it can really affect him, and so it is putting brave face on and getting on with whatever needs must. When it comes to positivity it is not all about smiling but being content and right now as I write this blog I am in my nightwear, and is making me feel a lot better.

Our bodies need fuel and so when you have a comfy dinner or a room that you can just chill can help with mood and so that is the good side of the positivity and why it is good, because it gets in touch that we need some love care and attention. We should be able to do that and look after our wellbeing. Having a hot bath or a hot drink can do wonders, so looking after yourself is for me positive but not the cringing kind, such as “Smile everyday, you’ve got this”. When I am feeling like death that is the last thing I want.

There are positive outcomes, whereby you’ve had a bad day so far, but when your spouse hands you a glass of wine can be just the ticket someone needs for a smile, but when they are beaming, “How was your day?” with a massive grin it can be like “I love you but honestly not what a I need, I will get my own glass of wine”.

When I try this with my son Henry, no glass of wine involved, in case you got confused there, being excited to see him after school and how his days been, he is like “No no, let me watch my tablet” and I try again, and which I get pushed away, until he wants to play rugby or football, and then I am like “No it’s okay” I say being full of cold, but then see he won’t give in until I get up off the sofa, and see that being super positive is not needed, but being present is, so we don’t all need to be positive but happy with the simplest of things. It is all about balance and finding what makes you feel like the weight of your shoulders and have someone to share responsibilities with, can help too.

Caring is sharing and so it depends on the time of day and what has happened each day that can be positive or negative. Everyday is new and so if you feel like its time for an early night that will help you feel better, then do it. Sometimes rather then being sprung on my a cheerful maniac a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits is all one needs to be positive, so tell me what you think do you think is Positivity good or bad? You can leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

Autumn Reset Day 14: When you can’t get out of the bed

24 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by in Autumn Reset, Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Positive Habits, productivity, Weekly posts

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There was a time where I would take my son to school and as soon I got home would return into bed and then get up about 1pm to give the house a clean and then go and pick up my son from school, and as soon as I had dinner go back to bed.

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I couldn’t find the energy to do much, and it was as if energy had been pushed out of me. Now though that girl has gone and glad. I love being lazy at times, but that only results in me feeling more tired and I like to get up have my cup of tea and then breakfast and make sure I am dressed apart from the weekend where I do take it a bit easier and spend that time with my son.

The mornings for me is the hardest at time but once I am up now I get myself ready for the day and take anything that is rubbish downstairs, take shower if I don’t have one the evening before and gather myself together. Having routine that is fulfilling is what helped me get out of the slump of wanting to stay in bed all day, and so I make sure I have a enough sleep at night so I have no reason to go back to bed.

So if you are having a hard time to get up and out of bed, ask yourself, “Do I want to be doing this all my life?” and I didn’t and knew that it was effecting my everyday and it would cause arguments, but then something clicked in me and I have now never felt so alive. It takes time, but if you feel fatigue all the time, it may mean going to the doctors and getting support as it is a mental health issue and put things into bed that makes you want to get up and make the most of your days.

This is why I write these blogs to give support if you feel low at and unenergized it is something that you can work on and can get out of.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

Autumn Reset Day 12: Managing your Mental Health and learning how to help it #Mentalhealthawarenessweek

12 Wednesday Oct 2022

Posted by in Autumn Reset, Everyday living, having bad days, Medical help, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts

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I like to begin with Thank you all for reading and liking my blogs on this site and my others, and it really helps me to see that my blogs are reaching out to you, and getting the message, that we are all worth a life filled with possibility. Even when I am having a bad day I still can have a positive mindset , and today travelling on a bus there were school girls just being disruptive, and felt “No I am not going to allow them to effect my journey”, and yes I was imagining myself saying negative things to them, but know better not too as why should I be driven in by their negative behaviour and if we learn to help our emotions and feelings, can still be a help to learn to grow even more to have a happier life.

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It is like building a forte and a wall around you, that you aren’t going to allow bad things happening around you to, allow the negative thoughts and listen to them, and addressing them.

Today I wrote a blog on my daily blog on google and want to link to this one, as it was that one that made me want to write thing blog. Check it out via this link: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/2022/10/mental-health-awareness-and-taking-to.html

Dealing with Mental health can be challenging, because with having psychosis, and it has taken a lot to say yes I have this, because of judgement by others. It can trigger negative thoughts, and lash out, but know this won’t fix the issue that is happening around me, like those girls on the bus, and wants you know how to control it and manage your mental health can help things like that effect your growth with mental health.

We all have the strength to build ourselves and have a life full of joy and happiness, never allow your Mental health stop you from doing the things that you love and helps you gain a sense of control and learning about your mind. Once you learn about your mind and what it says to you, the more you can get a hold of it and seek the right support, as I have needed that and go through what you instantly feel to someone who understands.

When I was in a Mental Health hospital last year, it made me learn more about it, and I think often we think we are going to loose your mind even more, and I know there hasn’t been good press for Mental Health hospitals, and I went down hill, because I was changed to a new medication and of a high dosage and couldn’t move and had to be aided when it came to having a shower and using the loo, and I had the shakes, but it was rectified. When my nurse, as you get your own, saw this she and instantly gave me a lower dosage and another medication to counteract with that other medication. I was in two hospital as the other needed the room for another patient, I was transferred but glad I did as the doctor there was brilliant and within 4 days I was back to myself and got back on my feet.

I came out of it and you have to be strong and for me it helps me get back to a good mind and shown me how strong I am and how others can be too, and so if you are struggling with your mental health never stay quiet and get help, as there is no miracle that can cure you unfortunately but get the right support you need, and honestly I will never allow it to build up ever again and neither should you.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal.

Autumn Reset Day 9: The Imposter Syndrome habit/Changing your feelings

23 Friday Sep 2022

Posted by in Autumn Reset, Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Weekly posts, Work

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Today I have a few videos to be edited and uploaded, yet right now I don’t feel like it. Not because I don’t like the videos, because I do. It is about “Will my laptop shut down when I try?” as it is a bit temperamental and feel like I want a day off, which once I can get into the right mindset I know I will get it done.

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I tend to feel like this each morning because of self doubt of “Am I capable?”. It is only a video some may say but for me it is the process of listening to myself that stops me in my tracks to ask “Is it good enough?”, “Will people like it?”. Imposter syndrome is very common and I feel it a lot at times, and have to remind myself that “I am good enough” and “I am worth it”, but I find it so hard to say because of how much others are doing compared to me.

That needs to stop I know so I allow myself to get bits done but with a break and as I get through the morning feel better, because I know this is just a habit I have got myself in and can be detoured by just acting not thinking.

The more I think about it the more I resist it, so I just need to “Bite the bullet” and get it done, and that is the answer. No more dwelling but doing.

So lets take action today. Do you ever feel like this? Leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

“Summer Project 2022” Reset your life

21 Sunday Aug 2022

Posted by in Everyday living, having bad days, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Positive Habits, Summer Project, Weekly posts

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I now use Sundays as a Reset and it really gives a kick start to the week ahead. I am not a massive fan of cleaning and so it does take a long to get myself to do it, but feel good once done and seen the results.

I use Sundays and Mondays to reset and that is clearing rubbish, go through lists not completed and just go through what I have done and what I do next.

It revaluates your life, as you can see what area of my life you need to work on, example for me I need to fit in time exercise more, and so I will go for a walk each day and once I get the message “Do a workout” that is exactly what I will do, and you can use exercise to reset your life.

Exercising has so many benefits. Example I find it gives me a good boost of energy and feel good about my body and how I feel about myself. I will make sure I give myself time to look after my skin and going through what I have that I still love and what I don’t.

I will vacuum my bedroom each week and do a bit of dusting, and just getting things in shape. I like space and allow myself time to gather my life and keep growing.

Spend time to journal and gather my thoughts and fears. Have time changing my bedding and just spend time working and building on different areas of my life.

It can be anything that is making you feel overwhelmed and you need more shape in your life.

So have time to reset your life and help you be in a positive mindset.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

“Summer Project 2022” Finding the right Station

17 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Summer Project, Weekly posts

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When we get off a train it is because we want to go to a known destination and an idea of where we want to go, but with life there are stations we never get off on, because we have no need too, but often when I used to travel into the central London, would forget where I was going or I’d be trying to keep my eyes open, missed my stop. I’d get into a panic state because now I have no idea of where I am going and the fear was getting stranded and so now I travel I often will be looking at the map on the train, numerous times to make sure that I get off the right station.

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So what happens when we forget and miss our stops?

Be glad that I had realised and didn’t travel any further and hope I can get back where I forgot to get off to go too the right destination? I would instantly get panicky and feel really stupid, and start to demolish myself. Yet if someone actually said these things to me and not in my head, I would be like “No you are wrong and I am not the only who’s done that”, but its fine to say it to ourselves.

We have all got off the wrong stop, and we will make mistakes which I did a video on, which was a chat video: https://youtu.be/SUw2pGZlPoI All about when my son had a new teacher teaching him swimming and one of the dads got a bit annoyed about it, as she wasn’t as thorough unlike the usual teacher and was being supervised whilst she taught, but did okay and we all make mistakes.

Did she panic? No

Did she get angry? No

She got on and taught her lesson, and the kids learning including my son, were fine. So getting off the wrong stop doesn’t mean your going to be stuck forever, you learn, THAT IS LIFE, and you will still be a success and you’ll know soon where to get off and get on. As Dean Graziosi, life is about repetition, and so as keep doing the journey you’ll always know, and when you do, then the panic will fade.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

“Summer Project 2022” Managing Anxieties during the Summer/Body Confidence

12 Tuesday Jul 2022

Posted by in Everyday living, having bad days, Personal Development, Summer Project, Weekly posts

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Hello and welcome to another blog. I have filmed a new two videos on my main channel, so If you’d like to check them out then please do so via the links below:

Getting the most out of your days

Getting the most of your days as a city gal dealing with the daily rush

In this blog I am talking about Managing Anxieties during the summer. These are about what we should wear, not feeling confident in wearing a bikini, travelling, boundaries, Summer time habits and having the summer blues.

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It has taken a long time to get into the mindset where I am happy with myself and not putting myself down and would like to wear a bikini again, but I am going to shop around to find one that is suitable for me, and that is it. It is what you feel comfortable with, and I feel there is a stigma about being comfortable. This is because I have spoken about it too and that is getting out of your comfort zone, which can help, but it is balance. What will make you give a sense of “Yes I can do that” and “Yes I am worth this life”.

It is what makes you buzz about yourself, and I love my sense of style, and that is the first time I have ever said that, but it is true. I do feel comfortable in my own skin. What has made me finally feel like that? Making changes, and I don’t give myself a hard time over the fact that I don’t wear make up everyday and it has made a difference to my skin. I do get days where I want to and I will, but not all of the time. I look myself in the mirror, which is getting out of my comfort zone, because I avoided mirrors at one point, but now I do and I ain’t that bad.

I will divide this blog otherwise it will be too long. Having summer anxieties can effect us from enjoying the summer and then feel disappointed once its gone and think “Well I will make changes next year” but what if the next year doesn’t come? It for me has been a waste, in doing this. I obsessed about not being suntanned and tried tanning lotion, but would make me look patchy and so would then give myself a hard time over that. I now like my skin, because it is mine and now I will again look after my skin on my body, buy showering, using a scrub, treating myself to some nice showering gels and creams, and just giving myself some self love.

I know this may make you cringe but it honestly has made a difference. What one thing will make a difference to you? What items in my life currently makes me feel good, and what doesn’t? If it doesn’t make you feel good, get rid for an item that does. I have nothing against those who use tanning lotions if they make you feel good, they just didn’t work for me and it can cause aging sitting out in the sun all of the time so I do in moderation.

I hope these blogs and my videos help you and will be writing more as we continue working on ourselves, “The Summer Project 2022”.

I do write life coaching books on my amazon under the names Carrie Holmes and Carrie Challoner.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Day 6/30 day blog challenge/Blog a day/Inspiring stories/Sports men and women/Euros and Olympics

07 Wednesday Jul 2021

Posted by in Creating a vision, Dreams and ambitions, empowerment, Goal setting, having bad days, Inspiring stories, People, Personal Development, Weekly inspiring stories, Weekly posts

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Thank you so far for those following and viewing my blog posts it really means the world to me, and means that you are helping me produce content that helps you.

Today it is Day 6 and time of my Inspiring stories, that I like to write and post on a weekly basis, and its about Sportsmen and women this week. Wimbledon being on has inspired me aswell as the Euros and these competitions were created when they wanted to expand some sports to other countries and now we have more nationalities playing in football, Tennis and lets not forget the British Lions, who was on last weekend and fighting their place in the British sports and holding their own against sometimes real tough apponenents, and its that special win that can boost the emphasis of these sports.

Olympic Runners Black And White High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

It takes often years of practice to be top flight in whatever sport they choose and for a while we were limited to knowing who these boys and girls were cause in the 80’s and 90’s athletics was always on and I new the names of all of the athletes back then, like Sally Gunnell, Linford Christie, Roger Black, Tessa Sanderson you name it I could say what athletics events they all did and where they were from.

With Soccer always be the number 1 English sport has wiped other sports out of the air, but if it happens to be on the Rugby League or indoor athletic competitions then I will still watch them. its that some sports in terms of publicity have gone under the radar a bit, but when the World Champions ships are on or the Olympics I will watch however many sports within those competitions as much as I can.

I love stories where running was initially a hobby that then Stemed into a life long career, like Sally Gunnel who would at first do the 400 metres and then one day her coach laid out some hurdles for her to try and to say she never looked back into was now her event and won many titiles in the 400 metre hurdles.

When I hear the song One Moment In Time sung by Whitney Housten some up these competition within the words as it is like they have One Moment to shine and when they do its like wow “Never saw that coming” and can help boys and girls of other generations getting into these sports too.

The Greeks did well as they created the Olympics in Athens and it become a world phenonenon and the competition to be in.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How to handle those who try to destroy and never support you

28 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by in Boundaries, Everyday living, Freedom, having bad days, how to deal with those that drag you down, Inspiring stories, journal, Love, New Beginnings, new year, People, Personal Development, Related pages

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Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.

I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.

Here is a link to my previous post:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/27/reflecting-on-the-year-2020/

So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,

  • Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
  • Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
  • Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
  • If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
  • Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
  • If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
  • They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
  • If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
  • They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
  • They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”

Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.

Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.

Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.

Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.

I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie (L.M) X

Looking forward to New Year 2021

03 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by in having bad days

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London New Year's Eve Fireworks 2019: Ticket and travel information and where to watch for free - MyLondon

I can’t wait to see the back of this year, it is an understatement that it has not been good, I am going to make sure that things change for me and be with those who I absolutely love and adore.

All I have ever wanted in my life was to be happy, and yet I am still in 2020 and I don’t care how many times I say it is true. I am never going to stop wanting happiness, doesn’t everyone want that?

Of course!

So anyway, if you had a shitty year then fear not as it can get better and I am going to make sure that all those bad ones go away.

There are gonna be times where hurdles will arise but just keep going and never stop believing.

I thought COVID would change lives but not like they have and some may see this as bullocks, but it has been a life changer and want to move on, be with my new man and new family, to start all over again.

So I am listening to the Pogues, with Kirsty MacColl, The Fairytale Of New York, and is such a comfort blanket and helps me to block all the bad things away. OK so some may see this as crap, but do I care, no.

I will continue to set goals, follow positive habits and be productive, and do more of what I enjoy rather than listening and doing things because some people see it that I have to, not that I want to.

So, where to begin with a new year,

  • Drink and eat what I like when I like
  • Watch TV when I want to
  • Keep watching TV that is funny
  • Wash up when I want to
  • Laugh when I want
  • Go out when I like and not being told
  • Be with my kids
  • Have a bloody good holiday

I will be watching Jools Holland New Years show, hoping it will be on this year and watch the fireworks up London to begin the new year.

So lets get ready and raise our glasses, and say fuck it and lets start again with a bang and all those that aren’t happy about that, jog on.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X