“Why say it?”
Have you said that?
I have. When having an argument said something you shouldn’t have.
Take a moment to breath and go somewhere you can cool off and reflect.
People clash, its human nature and its a form of protection. It can affect the environment and escalate so do you want to put the fire out or keep it burning?
I have hit out and I am not proud of that. I find anger overwhelming, to the point I am not able to calm down, so I will leave the room or take two or so minutes, but then come back apologised and all has been right again.
It is good to have your say and give your point of view, but calling someone a nob head is not the way. Yes we want to vent and glad I have a journal and this has made a huge difference and use it for my books and looking back, realising that I lost control and I have learned from arguments and to put the smoke out, before its turned into fire.
I have looking back, laughed at myself. I remember when I was with my husband, when he was trying to give up smoking and we argued over a plate of chips and a draw. I remember saying “Have a bloody cigarette”. That wasn’t the best form of advice and should have been a lot more supportive as it can be hard to give up a habit and a lot of people smoke because it to them is calming and a break.
I felt like it was a personal attack, but no it just was that I wanted to share a plate of chips but not draw and now writing this, makes me laugh as actually I get his point.
He did when people were band from smoking in a pub, gave up smoking and he has never gone back. So often it can be that someone is fighting against a addiction or a habit. He just wasn’t in the right mindset to give up smoking. I am very good at weighing up my emotions, by thinking, “Is this going to lead to an argument and is worth venting about?” This helps me think before I speak and defuse the smoke before it turns into a fire.
No human being is perfect. Some may think they are, but noone is. Not that is some excuse to be verbally abusive. I have through habits controlled my feelings. This is journaling, walking and writing. As said weighing up. I will ask myself “How would you feel if someone said that to me?”
I dislike people who are hypocritical and have double standards. It should be one rule for all not specific people and being fair.
There have been times that I know I am right and finding myself wanting to say “Oh shut you shit bag and listen” but stopped myself and asked, “Do I want a good day or not?” and kept my thoughts to myself.
So try to stay calm and write it down. Turn it into a story, write a letter to yourself and if you can take yourself out of the situation, to defuse it before you say anything you will regret later. Try to remain in a good mindset and not lash out.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
Everyone can build a castle 