Life will often hit you like a sudden death of someone, job loss or a holiday that has been cancelled that you were really looking forward to and so what can you do? How can you change the feelings of sadness and shock?

It takes time and grief is a personal thing and it dependant on the person but just take each day as it comes and allow it to build your strength and I miss my dad, and everyday I think about “What could I have done?” “What would he say if he was still alive?” and I wish he was here still but I know that dwelling on that is like hitting a dead end, so the importance for me was to move on for my own sanity.

You can’t fix everything and life is challenging at times and it can affect us in what we do each day. Its change. When my parents divorced I tried to block it out and was going out a lot to avoid what was going on and I was working up London and then it hit me and it really sent me down a downward spiral.

Yet I pictured it along time before it happened, but I had to take time to face it and the first Christmas of that year in 2000 was tough, and my spark of the festive season went and dreaded it.

Then in 2002 I went to the Southcoast to work at a holiday camp (Butlins Bognor Regis) and met my now husband and for a while I didn’t realise we were going out but we were, so in 2006 got married and moved back to London and then 2013 my son was born.

I am sad that my dad never got to meet him but he did know about it, as my brother saw him and so I had to come to turns with it as my mind can analyse everything and it drives me mad, so to help me to grow and going on my dads mistakes made sure I didn’t follow suit and remembering the good times and not worry about the bad.

Life will stop you in your tracks and this is good and bad, so I spend a lot of time in focusing on today and not rushing into things. I have had the intensity to think about the Autumn when we are still in Summer and being thankful of what I have in my life today. I was struggling with this blog because I felt I was rambling on and talking all about my passed and that I have had a good day so far today. I got the shopping I needed, worked on completing my Counselling course and watching a bit of Youtube and did a bit of tidy up.

I am having my first coffee for the day and journaled to help get this blog written for my Life Coaching programme Summer Project 2024 and filming a vlog and just enjoying each day, letting myself think about the now and not tomorrow and next week unless it is important and can help to not have too much to do and what I am looking forward to, to stop thinking of the bad feelings and what I don’t have right now.

I just as I write this blog, started journaling to figure out what to do about my restlessness and what I want next in my life, visioning my growth, building my life but focus on what I can do today to get to doing those things and listening to a self help video, listening to music or a podcast.

So today I am filming a vlog, going to make an apple crumble and then see what I can do today to complete my tasks planned for today.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X