I have not always been happy with life. I would put myself down and it became a habit.

This was along with being bad with money. As a kid I was very good with saving and then I started earning and working in Camden I would splurge and would be reckless. I ended up in debt by spending money that wasn’t mine and what I didn’t have, avoiding my bank account and now thankfully being 46 saving again and be cautious.

Living badly can have long lasting effects and falling further down a hole and not sure what to do. I would be so self critical. it got on my nerves and wanted to feel good. I felt I was fat, got easily upset and alone. I never felt part of anything as a child and really wanted to fit in but it seemed impossible.

I never made my bed, I was untidy and was addicted to crisps. When I first lived away from home, I would wait until I had no clothes left to wash my clothes, never ate breakfast and just wasn’t respecting myself and my life.

It is hard to be happy all the time but I know how to manage my feelings and emotions now and I got help. I was in a mental health hospital and this helped me get back on my feet. I make sure I sleep well, I have things to look forward to and becoming a mum I didn’t want my son to be affected by my thoughts and feelings and he has his moments of not dong the right thing, but to me that is part of the process of being a child. I want my son to know what is right and what is wrong. Also express himself. I will say now if I am unhappy but not getting angry, but by chatting rather than it be an heated argument.

I will be honest if I don’t know something and feel comfortable in doing so. I will ask myself questions to challenge the critical mind such as “No” when I get anxious about going out and What My focus is. This has really helped. It has slowed me down. I remember a colleague called me “Mrs. Rush Rush” because I would speed around the call floor and a colleague when working at a holiday camp asked me, why I was always rushing and it was a habit. I think part of it was living in the city and following others.

So I take my time now and give myself plenty of time to get ready for the day, have a cup of tea and read. I will make my bed now and make sure my son and I have breakfast and plan ahead.

I look after my body. My nutrition needs a bit of work but doing this a bit at a time, by eating different things, like I will have a yogurt, cereal or toast and not deprive myself, but insuring I do eat some fruit and vegetables and that I take care of my skin and journaling a lot, addressing issues and challenges but keeping a good open mind, allowing myself to think things through and having days away from my laptop and cleaning, tidying. I love taking my son out and playing sports and just living a good happier life. I set myself goals, I do workout and active. I walk a lot and do weights and other exercises and just listen to my mind and body.

Habits are not just a one time thing but something that grows into being good and get rid as you grow, the bad.

I hope you enjoy my blogs and what habits have you changed? Please leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X