My dad used to say “When one door closes another one will open” and it has stayed with me. My dad was severely hurt in around the 90’s and he lost part of his memory and doesn’t remember what happened to him. He kept leaving the hospital because he thinking he had to go to work and it was a tough time. He couldn’t work for a while and it was so hard when your life gets swept under your feet.

One of my Uncle’s who worked on ships, sailing around the world had a nasty stroke and it was heart breaking.

They had to start over. It taught me a valuable lesson to not sit around waiting and do the things you want, even if you have to start over and my dad had a good life, but it took a while for him to recover. He had a lot of friends and the became like a second family and eventually his memory returned, but still unaware of what happened, and I am going to keep the rest private but he had to get used to not working for a bit, because he was a window cleaner and would be high up sometimes to clean windows and with a head injury you can get after effects from the trauma and my uncle had to learn how to use a wheelchair, live in a Care Home and so you have to keep going however hard it is to live. It taught me to not sit on your arse all day and go out.

I ended up in a Mental Health hospital and it was the best thing because I got my life together. I now made up with friends and family and now I work voluntary work for my hospital’s local radio, been to concerts and festivals and my son does sports clubs which has helped me to meet people and doing more now than I have ever done. That doesn’t mean that’s it. I want to build my income, take my son to different places and live life like it could end tomorrow and go for a walks, play a certain song in the morning, have a good breakfast and just live.

You have to get out there. My habit that I have that I have had to stop is to to jump in with both feet to stop being overwhelmed and not commit to too many things and so manage my time better and be realistic in my decisions, but not wait around but do the things I want to do. I am learning a lot like never before. I journaling everyday, read, write books and take my son to different places and I still get annoyed at things. I am human but I am learning to stop being bothered by past events, someone not saying thank you when I have done a good deed and just feel good. I can still be pessimistic, like England’s football matches and the world cup 2026, but do that out of hopefully being surprised and hoping, but not expecting too much and just be more present. I could day dream all day and would switch off as I found reality hard. Now I enjoy living each day as it comes with planning and creating projects, writing and spending time with my son.

When my mind wonders to the past I now will try to change what I think about. I can’t mend the past but celebrate it. I can’t fix arguments but I can forgive and as you get old your mindset changes anyway, you do get wiser when your older and not care of what people think, not trying to please everyone and be real.

Please check out my Youtube channel where I share parts of my life: https://www.youtube.com/@Carriechalloner

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X