I think it is natural to think the worst, because from experience, think if I don’t worry than I worry if things go wrong and that I let the world down, because I wasn’t prepared. Our feelings can be so strong that we fear stepping another foot forward.

Life can be full of setbacks and things we come across that can knock us off, on our path for the life we want, but not allowing these to get us down and gain control so whatever happens we resilient to set backs.

I was working for a Kids Holiday Club a few years ago and it was tough and the day the Team Manager wasn’t there I was left in charge but my anxiety rose and thankfully the other girl, I asked for her to take charge instead. I felt so stupid, and getting excited of the opportunity I had really failed and that I was useless and there was a lot to do and in the end I didn’t continue with it.

To be fare it wasn’t a very good set up because it was two three playworkers with 15 children which wasn’t for health and safety perspective good and thought there would be more playworkers and more structure. A toilet ended up getting flooded, two brothers were fighting non stop and in the end the company stopped running and so I learned that if I do this again, to find out first if there will be more staff and the ratio of children.

Now though thankfully I didn’t allow it to stop me in building my life and take a different direction and would like to work with children in a educational setting and do more training to do so, and to help children with different needs, making sure I have the right support to do so, and stop jumping in with both feet and gradually build my ambitions to continue in following my dreams.

Also I have started to cook different dinners and changing my eating habits as this is a battle. I haven’t have stopped eating crisps all the time and have cut down on eating chocolate and going for the biscuits and so going to set a plan and reflect on your set backs as it can help you to have a better habits and it could be because they are so easy to reach and eating fruit can be boring and have a lot of vegetables and not snack.

I never want to have type 2 diabetes again and have a more balanced diet so have started planning meals again and still have the food I like but no snacking. I have had a eating disorder and so what to stop fighting over my eating habits but have new habits of having healthier breakfasts, nice lunches and dinners.

I am going to have breakfast later as I am not always that hungry in the mornings and continue my habits such making my bed when I get up, get dressed, get my so ready for school and taking my supplements and other medication I have to take and not battle with my eating habits, as it is tiring. Planning is the key and have been very good and continue to exercise to help be fitter and continue going swimming which I have begun to do again and training indoors.

I didn’t realise I had a Journal APP in my phone and been entering it everyday, and fill it in on want it is concerning me and address my feelings. I still like to write, but find it hard to stick too so now I got this APP makes me make sure I use my Journal APP each day, and use what ever to make things simple and easy access. Reading Atomic Habits has really helped me structure my life and not spend so long on one thing, but break it down and use what is easy access.

So as it is Sunday finishing this blog, going to catch up on Youtube and get ready for the new week ahead. I do vlogs so if you’d like to see these check out my Channel via this link: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X