Category Archives: Bullying

Monday Morning Post/Toxic People and it be contagious

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Posted by in Bullying, Personal Development, Boundaries, Everyday living, Youtube videos, Work, Related pages, empowerment, People, Freedom, how to deal with those that drag you down, Dreams and ambitions, Weekly posts

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Hello! Yes this post is a little late, but that was because I slept in, but still want to write it. If you would like to read more of my Monday Morning posts then click on this link here: Monday Morning posts

So in this blog post I am going to be talking about Toxic people and it can be contagious. Well bascially they are those who feel that they are unworthy if they don’t stamp their authority and try to control every aspect of your life and they make days a challenge because you find that you get driven in a power struggle, and start to score points over them, which they do to you.

“Their headache is worser than yours”

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They begin to nip pick over everything you do, and this is a form of abuse and bullying, and then you end up having to answer for everything you say and do. They drain you out of happiness and energy because they want you to have a bad day, because they are and don’t like anything you do that makes you happy.

This can then turn on you as you begin to lose faith in people and become angry and resentful yourself. They can make you hate the world and not want to get out of bed, and make you into being like them and not who you are. Feeling like you have lost your identity can summon up toxic people and they will use even going on holiday seem like the worst thing in the world and feel as if it is hard work.

“You can never seem to get a break”

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They will often guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail, and even when you try to agree with them they hold that against you, and you end up feeling like its just best to let them waggle on and don’t allow them to victimise you as this is a trait of a toxic person and you find that you have inner strength that they don’t, being the better person by standing your ground, and it is in fact a sign of weakness on their behalf, not yours.

I find that they are people who worry so much about time, and be the ones you end up leaving things to the last minute, and then they use that to attack you. Often they want you to hit them to justify their toxic behaviour and so I have learned since I was a kid to switch off, and you can do this too, just find a quiet place even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom, putting some chill out music and taking a bath.

“Noone should be bogged down because of someone elses stress”

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They use their behaviour to twist and turn everything you do and say, and if you have #mentalhealth issue, they will often use this as amunition to get at you, and you can have them arrested for Victimisation on this subject and now noone is allowed to challenge you if you have a mental health issue, but then they can use this to get at you because they are that toxic they use mental health as an attacking mechanism, and they can also control you so much that they end up imprisoning you because they are frightened of you having a better life, because they blame you because they haven’t and will never be, because they use their Toxic personality to be selfish and resentful of everyone around you and drain you of being a entraupner.

“They don’t like seeing people be successful and want everyone to drown in a puddle of uncarelessness”.

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So if you are surrounded with these kinds of people then,

  • Fight back
  • Call for help
  • Report

Noone should be drive by these types of people and be happy. Everyone deserves the life they love and not have that destroyed.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

P.S: You can read all my blogposts and videos on my site:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com

How to handle those who try to destroy and never support you

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Posted by in Boundaries, Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, Everyday living, Freedom, how to deal with those that drag you down, Inspiring stories, journal, Love, New Beginnings, new year, People, Personal Development, Related pages

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Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.

I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.

Here is a link to my previous post:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/27/reflecting-on-the-year-2020/

So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,

  • Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
  • Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
  • Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
  • If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
  • Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
  • If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
  • They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
  • If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
  • They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
  • They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”

Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.

Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.

Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.

Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.

I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie (L.M) X

Being Human and not a cretin

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Posted by in Books, Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, career building, empowerment, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development, Work

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This post is in relation to one I have posted before, and wanted to touch on this subject again, because still there are people who want to do harm to people, and as far as I am concerned has no place in society when they do so.

Check out my previous post:

Being Super Human

Bullies and those that carry out abuse to another human, do posses a certain criteria.

  • They will blame other people for the abuse they carry out and bullying, whilst carrying on abusing and bullying
  • often they will diguise themselves as nice people at first to cover up what they will do, once they have won a person over. This overshadows often those who are genuinely nice
  • They will exclude and put people in a corner so that person has no where to go
  • A hug or sexual contact is not genuine and false, and is manipulation, and you can tell when they begin to get aggressive or slowly show their violent trait, that they are going to get worse,

If you spot any of these signs,

“Call Out and Get Out”

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They are just examples above and as far as I am concern they are Cretins.

You may see yourself as a constant target, because you are a good person and they are jealous of everything you do.

Ignore and fight back, but there is a song by, Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I remember reading a guys article disputing this line, but it is true because you can come out of the other side, you often spot the signs quicker and find that you do have inner strength, that you never thought you had.

As soon as someone takes jab at me, I will strike a bigger blow and you can do it too, and I do think that they should teach self defence in schools, to help and teach children to be street wise, and be able to fight back.

Can you still run a business when you know there are people against you ?

Absafuckinglutley, and in fact you should in all busnesses you run, if you have staff that work for you, you should have an Anti bullying or abuse policy, so if it carries on, you can deal with it and stop it.

Noone has the right to prevent someone in doing their job or run a business, and those Cretins should be moved on and given an instant Criminal Record, if not banged up in Prison, as soon as it has been proven that they are guilty and for their own safety as they can be their own worse enemy, as there are those that will fight harder and put those in my experience, not saying I have done this, but I know it can happen, in hospital, which really noone wants.

My dad as a kid was fed up of seeing me getting bullied and got me in the Living room and said right, and he gave me some gloves that were mini boxing gloves and showed me how to throw a punch, and it did protect me in the end, and no I don’t condone violence, but you can’t always walk away and I know I have said this a lot in my blogs, but want to keep saying this, because it is true.

So kick out and get those Cretins away from us, and keep fighting, being determined and you will still succeed, where they won’t because they get too caught up in hating people, who can build success and they can’t.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: If you would like to see what else I like to write about then please, see my video below:

How to cope when there are people who are against you

15 Sunday Nov 2020

Posted by in Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, empowerment, Everyday living, how to deal with those that drag you down, People, Personal Development

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So this year has been a rollercoaster and that is no exaggeration, it is sadly true, and I have opened to the fact that there are those who were born to be evil, and having nothing nice to say about anyone, apart from themselves.

I am gonna give you some tips if you too have experience a uncomfortable atmosphere and how to cope with it. Many say walk away, but that isn’t always an option, but these are;

  • Don’t entertain them. If they try to make you feel intimidated or they are threatening you, then don’t entertain them. Let them get on with it, and if they get in your face, then react by saying “I know what you are doing I am not scared so go away”.
  • Focus on those who do love you. It can be like being in a horrible bubble you can’t get out of, and so if there are others who do show you love and consideration then focus on them, as they are the sort of people that have always got your back.
  • Try and see if you can speak to someone outside of your bubble. Having home help, real kind, as there are some fake ones out there, can really make a difference, as often it can be difficult to know who you can turn too, and if you are a small child or a teenager reading this, speak to Childline who can help or have a chat with your GP to see if they can refer you to someone like a therapist or counsellor.
  • Let them see that you don’t really have a problem with them, it is often one rule for one and another rule for everybody else, and by showing them that as much as they dislike you or have a problem with you, you don’t really have one with them, which can often be the case.
  • Fight back, by showing them that no matter how much they try to demolish you, your going to carry on regardless. Many people who are not nice, don’t like to see anyone be happy and successful, but never allow it to stop you. Its your life, your rules not theirs.
  • Don’t react like they expect you too. Being someone who was bullied from an early age, learned how to react to the opposite to how people like them would expect, and not being angry back is one of them, and keeping a steady voice can help and that you aren’t going to hit them, like a lot of not nice people do, unless they go to far then a clout never hurt anyone to those who are just plain evil.
  • Take yourself away for a bit. I don’t mean move away completely as that is not always an option, but for a few hours or so, so you can spend time with those who do love you and where it is not uncomfortable, as a bad atmosphere can be like a massive weight on your shoulders.

We often can’t choose who we want to be with all of the the time, but you can as these tips above show still be happy without them, and live a happy life still.

I hope this blog does help and just a quick note, I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s this year as we draw near to Christmas, and so if you wish to donate, here is the link below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When you just want to say “To the Hell with it”

11 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by in Bullying, Everyday living, how to deal with those that drag you down, Love, Personal Development

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You maybe thinking why write this post when I was in my other blogs say “You go and set goals and be successful, fuck those who are arseholes”, but I like to be honest and this year I do feel like I have been on the worst rollercoaster I have ever been on. Not being dramatic and being an actress who didn’t get the part of being Cinderella and given the part of an ugly sister, putting up with those who are like “Talking bullshit is better than the truth, stop doing that, its wrong, I like lying” yet they often the ones who keep saying “I like being a C.U.N.T because I’m just being honest” and start shouting it about, and then when you see them or speak to them they start kissing your arse. I don’t, I may mention that what I write is me being honest, but I hope that I don’t need to say it and shout it, as people can automatically tell I am writing the truth and from my heart. It’s in the words, of expressing how I feel.

I know my mum might read this and say “That is a nasty blog take it down at once” Sorry mum but like you I’m only being caring and honest, like you always say you are.

Yeah it isn’t going to stop me from having a life, I am just fed up that there are those who make you think “To the Hell With it” I’ll have a take away rather than have the leftovers in my fridge, I’ll stay in bed all day, I shouldn’t have gotten out of the bed and wish I could hide away and that there would be such a thing of an invisibility cloak, to stop phone calls that I don’t want.

To the hell with it, I’ll stink all day as soon as you want to use the shower someone else in your home wants to use it, which is fine, but they see you getting your stuff ready and run in there, like the superhero flash. Yet I don’t mind waiting after him as you know he won’t be long, and when I use the shower I get accused of using up the hot water.

It’s days like today where I wouldn’t mind being a superhero with powers that would keep cretins away and have a credit card that noone can use to spend some dosh on my account. To those who do that, I want to say “Did you enjoy buying that crap on my account, was it worth it?” And then move the amount back to them, with a note says “Thanks for the debt but here’s my gift from me the debt you have tried to give to me”.

Life is full of ups and downs, but when you get more downs then up you feel like saying “To the Hell with it” I’m gonna give up.

My aim like so many, is to be happy and its my writing through blogs and books, that do keep me going along with being in love and listening to music.

I have come to discover that a lot of people aren’t want they seem, pretending to like you, but not and I am sick of that.

“To the Hell with it” I’ll be as nasty but because I do have a huge conscious, and know that there are genuine nice people it stops me. If they keep on I will take the piss out of them, but I am the sort of person, that when I like someone it is true, as I express it, but if it is someone I genuinely don’t like I won’t give them the time of day.

Part of being successful is to go through the wars aswell as the times when it feels like I have been given a bunch of roses, but when someone wants to destroy you through jealousy it just makes you say “To the Hell with it” have your glory I don’t care.

So yes, today has been one of those days, and I hope tomorrow will be a lot better, and hope I can have my dinner without any hassle and have a good evening.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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Newsletter blog

01 Friday May 2020

Posted by in Boundaries, Bullying, Personal Development, Related pages, Useful articles

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Hi everyone! Yes it is Friday and if you have been like me working you nuts off then hats off to you.

We will get through this Pandemic and please do stay safe.

Thank you to all of you who have read and now are following this blog site and please do give me feedback of topics on this site you would like me to cover. You can leave a comment below.

In this blog I am linking my weekly newsletter blog, talking about 10 Tips on Dealing with betrayal:

https://newsletterthoughtsandadvicefortheweek.blogspot.com/2020/05/10-tips-on-dealing-with-betrayal.html

Have a great weekend and see you next week

 

Carrie X

 

 

Feeling Lonely/stop self sabotage

20 Monday Apr 2020

Posted by in Bullying, Everyday living, Personal Development, Youtube videos

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I have never felt so lonely in all myself, and people may say “What would you know?”

Well being lonely is the hardest thing at the moment, having  to stay indoors due to the Lockdown and I have gone through an emotional breakdown.

Anyone can feel lonely, especially when you have people you feel are against you.

This morning I had a terrible dream, where a certain person had sent something out that wasn’t from me, but they made out it was going to be.

There are, as I have learned as I have grown older is that there are some people who are,

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I have met a fantastic guy who has  made me smile from ear to ear, and is helping me through it, along with my Keyworker and Doctor and other amazing people that if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it because it is surreal.

The people who are  being manipulative and sad to say,

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There is a song that I would like to share that I have played a lot of by Alexandra O’Neill, called Criticize,

If you feel lonely and isolated because you are being bullied or you know someone who is being bullied, then speak out to them.

Also if you want to share your experience then I would recommend that you write a blog,  journal or even create quotation cards.

You can often feel like any kind of abuse whether it be bulling or domestic violence start to blame yourself .

My advice is,

Don't allow people to live in your head "rent free". | Life quotes ...

IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT!

You begin to self sabotage and feel you aren’t worthy of anything, and so you stop dead in your tracks and begin to ask the wrong questions, which can lead to further Scrutiny and make you go backwards rather than forwards.

Top 100 Being Alone Quotes And Feeling Lonely Sayings

I have just watched a brilliant video by the one and only Russell Brand, who talks about  How he has stopped self sabotage.

Even from a young age I felt lonely as I would sit on a school bench in the playground and sit by myself. When I  worked at a modelling and crafting company I felt the same so loneliness can effect us all, but if we use the power of the internet to help us rather than using it to abuse people you will be surprised of how the internet can be a good close community of people.

So lets get through this time together and lets communicate with those who feel lonely too, as sometimes all they want is someone to talk to.

I wish you all the very best.

Many thanks for your reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Having Low Self Esteem

17 Monday Feb 2020

Posted by in Bullying, Everyday living, Personal Development, Youtube videos

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Hello and welcome to another blogpost. In today’s post I am talking about Having Low Self Esteem, which many of us have and can lead us to, as mentioned in my previous post, into Self Sabotage and Scrutinization.

I have created another video talking about this very subject see below:

It can be tough having low self esteem but being around the right people, creating a foundation, setting goals, creating new habits and rituals, which can lead to empowerment can really help make all the difference.

Please remember you can follow my Blogposts on WordPress.com and please see my other sites too:

 

My blog sites:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Please check out my Pinterest and my social media accounts where you can see more of my content below:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas

30 Saturday Nov 2019

Posted by in Books, Boundaries, Bullying, Bullying it needs to be stopped, Cheat sheet, Everyday living, Goal setting, Inspiration board, Inspiring stories, Love, New Beginnings, Personal Development, Printables, Scammed, Useful articles, Youtube videos

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Lets get ready for blogmas

This year I have decided that I would do Blogmas to help get me and everyone who reads or who are new to my blogs, in the mood for Christmas and so this means I will be posting blogs everyday from tomorrow (1st Dec) to Christmas Day (25th Dec) on my various sites that I write blogs on, including this one.

The links to my other sites are as follows:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

There may be some videos, articles, books and various topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard for some people and like myself there was a time when I dreaded Christmas.

However there are good things about Christmas too and will be sharing how you can finish this year with a bang by creating positive changes into your life that will set you up to have a better Christmas and finish the year on a high.

If there is a particular topic you would like me to talk about that will help you then please leave a suggestion by adding a comment below. You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site and my others by following on WordPress.com.

You can also see my posts on  Pinterest and my social media pages too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great weekend,

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Feeling like you don’t belong

26 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by in Bullying, Everyday living, Personal Development

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As a child I often felt like I was odd, unlike my friends and other children I’d come to meet, and it was hard as a child feeling this way. I dreamed about being someone else, not me.

I remember being envious of a certain girl at school called Sherie and she was really pretty and popular, all the girls wanted to hang around her including the boys aswell, and I dreamed of being her, just for one day so I could feel what it was like to feel belonged.

She didn’t have it easy, but when she cried it was a nice cry and gentle, and when she smiled she used to light the room, and so wished that could be me.

Even though she cried a lot because she missed her mum, she instantly found friendship and people wanting to be around her.

Image result for Group of friends in a playground playing cartoon image

It was only when I started playing football at school I started towards the end of Primary school, I felt like I was accepted, but I still felt like I didn’t belong there and never kept in touch with those friends, once I started secondary school.

I kind of felt I needed to leave that part of life behind me, and start a fresh.

Those feelings of not belonging can be isolating and lonely. When I stopped playing out a lot, I more or less had to start building the relationships I had built up, all over again.

I hid away because I was sick of being picked on, and I was being bullied by the girl who lived the flat right opposite me. She even used my friends to get at me too, and it was hard, I wanted to stay in my shell and not come out again.

Feeling like you don’t belong has its advantages, and I like having my personal space, but I also like to feel part of something. When I took up dancing it took a while, but became part of a group there and for the first time felt some confidence, and I remember I couldn’t wait till Saturday for my dancing school to start again.

Then at Secondary school, after the first year, did have my own group of friends I would hang out with everyday and finally I was part of a group at school. I still found it a struggle at school, but having close friends to support me, did help me and they helped me come out of my shell.

Don’t get me wrong we had fall outs, but didn’t last for long, and I am still friends with those girls now.

Image result for friends images

Even now since my son started school, I see all the mums already in there groups talking whilst I wait there to go in. The worse for me to do, is to but into their conversation so I stand back.

The one reason why I blog because I like being part of a community, and embracing the new online world, and I feel like I belong.

When I started going to rugby I felt like I could finally let my hair down, and I had discovered a new sense of freedom that I never had before, and whole new world had opened up for me. That was thanks to one of my friends I had made at secondary school, whom I am still friends with today.

The Rugby years were great and even though at times I felt like the odd one out still because of my own insecurities I did feel like I was part of something truly special. It’s like the theme tune from the American Sitcom Cheers,”Where everybody knows your name”, and that is very important to me.

It is good to feel like you belong as you finally feel like you have found your purpose in life and meeting different kind of people, you learn from others and I try think back to those times to remind myself that I have been part of something and other peoples journey.

It is about coming out of your comfort zone and trying something new. When I started doing fundraising events, found another type of community, one where even though these people didn’t know me from Adam, gave me support as they passed me by anyway, and it really gives you a real boost, and a sense of “I can do this and here I am”.

Belonging is about being accepted for who you are and for what you know you can become.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X